


Doomsday: Post Apocalypse

by RoadrunnerGER



Series: Doomsday [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 15:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 159,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1903581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoadrunnerGER/pseuds/RoadrunnerGER
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto comes to Cardiff for a week to help with the archives, but is it as simple as that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unexpected help

**Cardiff**

 

Taking care of the considerably smaller bodies of the procompsognathus dinosaurs and another weevil, Jack racked his mind about how he should dispose of the octopus carcass.

_Can’t sell it to restaurants. First, it’s way too big for calamari rings. Second, it’s already fried._

Chuckling, he stuffed the last dinosaur into the oven and turned it on, burning the remains.

_I can’t incinerate the squid up there in the Hub. Maybe I could cut it to pieces? Then it should fit in the oven._

_But even that would take forever. Wish I had a blaster. One shot and the thing would dissolve_.

He sighed.

_The thing will be decayed loooong before blasters are invented. Thankfully it shrunk when it was fried, but it’s still huge._

Having worked all night to keep himself off brooding, Jack was not only exhausted, he also had way too much on his mind to concentrate on the problem at hand. Deciding that staring at the carcass would not get him anywhere, he took his coat and left the Hub through the tourist information office.

Out on the boardwalk, he took a deep breath of salty sea air before he started walking up to the Plass to get to one of his favourite vantage points from there. He was strolling across the Oval Basin, when he heard someone call out.

“Hey, Jack!”

Jack started, stopping abruptly, coat swinging around him. When he looked around, he found the origin of the voice sitting on the big stairs bordering the basin. There was, holding a mug of coffee-to-go, the young man who had helped him chase the octopus, Ydris Rhydderch.

 _Who shouldn’t be able to remember me,_ Jack thought with a hint of annoyance. _Which really was a shame given how we spent the hours during lockdown._

The Welshman’s green eyes bore into Jack curiously. This time, Jack perceived the scar around his left eye as more prominent, though he could not say that it was appalling. He remembered that Ydris thought about that differently.

Deciding that he should not just stand and stare but find out if he really remembered, Jack asked, “Do I know you?”

“Sure,” the young man smirked. “It’s me, Ydris.”

“I’m sorry…”

Grinning mischievously, the Welshman said, “You wanted to invite me for calamari, but the octopus turned out to be too big, and old, and tough.”

His eyes widening with realization, Jack could just stare at Ydris.

“Well, Jack, looks like your drug failed,” Ydris shrugged. “I do remember all right. Staging a party at Andy’s was the best you could come up with?”

Shaking off his shock, Jack quipped, “I was on a tight schedule.” Approaching him, he asked, “What about the constables? Do they…?”

“Remember? No.”

“Did you tell them?” Jack queried.

“No.”

Thoughtfully, Jack nodded. He knew that Retcon did not always work, but so far it had happened only twice and both witnesses were relatively easy to deal with. Now Ydris did not seem to be much different and loyal in addition if he really did not tell Gwen and Andy about what they had done in the days after the crisis. What bothered Jack was that Ydris was here now, obviously just waiting for him to appear, and he wondered what he was up to.

“So, what now?” Ydris asked. “Will you kill me?”

“What? Why?”

“Because I know who you are, what Torchwood is. Don’t you have to assure that I’ll keep the secret?” Ydris challenged.

Jack huffed. “Signing a confidentiality contract should do.”

Scowling deeply, Ydris said, “I thought you’d come up with something more inventive.”

“Like what?”

“Hm… Like giving me a job?”

“Sorry, still no job vacancy,” Jack told him, recalling at the same second the problem he had to deal with. “But…” he smirked. “I’d really like to invite you for octopus.”

Grimacing sceptically, Ydris joined Jack on his way back to the Hub. As they strode down the boardwalk toward the tourist information, Jack used his wrist device to unlock it and pushed through the door.

“Come!” he beckoned Ydris. As soon as the young man stepped in, Jack leaned over the counter and pressed the button under it. The front door fell shut while the hidden entrance opened. Jack led the way to an elevator that carried them down to another tunnel.

“I would’ve loved to take the scenic route,” Jack said, ducking through the opening cog door, “but a carcass is sprawled right across the lift.”

“Oh, that’s all right. As long as I won’t ever have to enter the Hub diving through the tunnel again,” Ydris teased.

“Usually we use the sub for that,” Jack smirked.

Stepping into the central Hub, Ydris looked around. Even though he had seen it before, he was stunned by the dimensions and the exotic equipment. Hopping down the stairs, he followed Jack to the carcass.

“Oh, yeah, I can see your problem,” he chuckled.

“It’s too big.”

“It is.”

“What can we do about that?” Jack queried.

“Hmmm… do you have an axe?”

“An…” Thoughtfully, Jack rubbed his chin. “Um… no.”

“A big saw?”

This time, Jack scratched his head. Finally, he shrugged, “Suzie would know.”

“You must have _something_ you can cut it up with!” Ydris laughed. “Look around you, Jack! All this alien tech must be good for something.”

Suddenly, Jack smirked broadly at him and ran off, back up the stairs and down to the autopsy bay. When he returned, he held a harmless looking item that reminded Ydris of a hand blender. Curiously, he watched how Jack aimed at an arm and activated the device. A laser cut cleanly through the flesh, separating the end of the arm from the rest.

“Great!” Ydris cheered. “Now, how about an industrial shredder? Then you can toss the remains into the ocean.”

“A funeral at sea,” Jack beamed. “Ydris, you’re brilliant.”

Smirking at Jack over the carcass, he replied, “You really don’t want to hire me?”

 

xXx

 

_The screaming of the saws on metal gave Ianto the creeps. Seeing them spin closer he tried to squirm out of their way but his restraints gave no leeway. All his struggles did him no good, only giving him pain, agony swallowing him whole. At the same time he was frozen with fear. Air caught painfully in his throat when he gasped for breath. They were about to rip into his flesh and…_

Ianto woke with a start. His eyes flew open and his gasp echoed in the silence around him.

_Light._

Wherever he was, it was not as dark as the prison he had dreamt about and that he escaped only hours ago. It also was softer, with a comfortable mattress underneath him and a warm duvet covering him.

Still Ianto lay rigid with fear.

_Where am I?_

The throes of his nightmare did not let go of him easily. It was only when he finally registered the loud snoring coming from his left that he could shake off the bigger part of his anxiety.

_Owen._

Turning his head to the left he saw the medic curled on the sofa, one arm hanging down the front. Ianto bit back a chuckle and took just another deep breath. Just those small movements already alerted him to how stiff and sore he still was.

_No idea why I turned onto my back again! For God’s sake, that hurts!_

The sound of a horn and cries of seagulls drew his attention to the panorama window to his right. Even without leaving his position Ianto could look across the bay and watch the ships. In the distance he could make out part of Mermaid Quay.

_Somewhere over there is the base._

Following a human impulse Ianto pushed back the duvet and padded over to the bathroom.

 _How satisfying it can be to be able to do something as simple as going to the toilet,_ Ianto thought with surprise as he stood and relieved himself.

For a second Ianto feared that the flush would wake Owen, but as he listened he noticed that the steady rhythm never changed, and he smirked to himself. Ianto went to search the content of his suitcase for new clothes before he washed himself. Dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt he then sat on the bed and watched the bay again.

 _I should get something for breakfast,_ he thought as he felt his stomach grumble.

A look into Owen’s fridge sobered him up. There was nothing but a jar of mayonnaise, a pair of sausages, and a half-empty can of tuna inside. Ianto disposed of the latter as it smelled like it was at least a week old.

_Pretty healthy lifestyle for a doctor._

With a sigh Ianto looked around the kitchen that did not offer much more edible. If he wanted to eat breakfast he would have to go and buy some food. No sooner thought than done, Ianto grabbed his wallet… and paused. It was the one Lisa had given him for Christmas last year. When he came home last night he just gathered what he needed, including cash from their mini safe in the closet and the wallet, without thinking about it. Now he looked at the fine black leather wallet and felt another surge of grief wash over him. He could almost hear Lisa argue, ‘Why don’t you ditch the old one? I didn’t take you for the type of bloke who’d carry it until it conforms to the curve of his arse! Do you plan to keep it until it falls apart?’

Sniffing Ianto tried to force the grief back. He let his fingertips run over the smooth leather before he stuffed the wallet into the back pocket of his jeans. This one certainly would suffer the destiny Lisa had predicted. Taking another deep breath he strode out of the apartmentand pulled the front door closed behind him. He did not know this part of Cardiff well, but he was pretty certain that he would find a market or a bakery within walking distance.

On his way down the stairs Ianto became aware again of how sore he still was. While he had helped the team search the archives he forgot about it, too glad about finally being able to move again. Then he had been sore and stiff when he got up again at the hotel. Now he found that his muscles protested every step he took. Groaning he clenched his teeth and ignored it.

 _A walk will loosen me up,_ he thought. _I need to move if I don’t want to turn stiff completely._

As expected he did not need to go very far to find a bakery where he would at least get something for breakfast. When he reached out for the handle to pull the door open his gaze fell onto a note hanging in the window.

_Room to let, apartment 4. Nice coincidence._

Intent on asking about the room, too, Ianto strolled inside and had a look at the offers while he waited. When it was his turn he chose a few pastries and intended to pay when the lady held out the paper bag across the counter. Ianto reached for it, but she did not let go, eyeing him curiously.

“Ianto?”

Surprised Ianto had a second look at her, but she did not seem familiar.

“You’re Ianto Jones, right?” she prodded. “You were in my son’s class.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but…” Ianto murmured, still at a loss… and still holding on to the paper bag above the counter that she would not let go of.

“I’m Colin’s mom,” she said. “Colin Dillard. You were in class together from year… four until graduation.”

Now that name rang a bell. Ianto could not say that he had been best friends with Colin, which explained why he did not recognize his mother. Somewhere in the back of his mind the name triggered a hazy memory, though. He probably met her at school events.

_Oh! Colin’s the cousin of Eric!_

The wheels slotted in place. He had been friends with Eric who was in the same year but a different class. Colin was the nasty little boy who flicked his bogeys at the girls, and neither Ianto nor Eric was happy when he had tried totag along. As if she read his mind Mrs. Dillard said, “You lost touch with Eric, too. God, it’s good to see you. How are you?”

“I’m fine,” he lied and finally got his pastry bag.

Nodding, she asked, “Do you live in Cardiff now, dear?”

“No,” Ianto shook his head. “I’m just here to temp at an office for a week or so, and, actually, I was about to ask about the note…”

“Oh!” she called out with enthusiasm. “The room to let. Yes, dear. Just a minute.” And turning toward the door to the back room she shouted, “Sally! Could you tend the shop for a minute, please? Someone’s asking for the room! I want to show it to him!”

“Sure, mom!” a female voice called back.

Before Sally had a chance to show up Mrs. Dillard ushered Ianto to the back door.

“Come, dear. Let me show you the room. I’m sure you’ll like it. It’s roomy and light and has a small ensuite.”

Having no other choice Ianto fell into step behind her and followed her up the stairs while she went on babbling.

 

tbc…


	2. An easy day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I got kudos already! Thank you! Enjoy!

 

Once they cut down the fried octopus to manageable pieces, Jack called Dylan Porter, the fisherman who usually took him out to Flatholm Island once a month, and asked him if he could help them take the remains out to the open sea. A polite request and the prospect of a respectable sum of money quickly assured them of his help.

Jack did not count how often they had to go up and down with their carts, but when he rolled the last one onto the deck of the _Heriwch*,_ he heaved a sigh and found a seat before he simply slumped where he stood.

“Are you okay?” Ydris demanded as he rushed to his side.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jack moaned. “I just need a moment.”

Ydris sat down beside him and put an arm around Jack’s waist. After a moment of resistance, the captain leaned against him and rested his head on Ydris’s shoulder.

“Are you all done?” Dylan called out to them.

“Yeah, we’re ready to go!” Ydris replied in Jack’s stead.

“All right!”

Dylan unmoored the boat while the other two men stayed where they were. When he returned to the bridge, he ducked through the door and started the engine. Slowly, the boat chugged across the bay toward the barrage.

“So…” Ydris gently prodded. “You never answered my question.”

Jack tensed.

“Which question?”

“How many times have you died since the attack?”

Reflexively, Jack tried to wind out of the Welshman’s hold, but Ydris did not let go.

“That’s hardly your business,” Jack spat.

“Maybe you should decide that it is.”

“No.”

Even though the harsh answer hurt, Ydris did not back off. He had believed to have found a connection to Jack but obviously he had been mistaken. Oddly enough, he felt like he knew the man for some time already, but the truth was that they met just the other day. Aside from that, Jack had tried to steal his memories.

_How could I forgive him so easily? Did I forgive him? God, I don’t know. What am I even doing here?_

Actually, he should be at work right now. The problem was that Torchwood was much more interesting than shoving cans and cartons around or sitting at the cash desk at the local Tesco.

“How come you remember?” Jack suddenly asked. He knew some people were immune while others could overcome the drug given the right trigger and he was curious to know to which group Ydris belonged.

“Guess your drug failed to work,” Ydris shrugged, unwilling to give away the truth. In fact Ydris had been suspicious and just pretended to drink from the can of soda Jack had given him. Still, he had swallowed a little bit that made him tired, but he was not completely gone when Jack carried him up to Andy’s flat. Only when the captain had left for London did Ydris allow himself to rest.

“Usually it’s quite reliable.”

“Well, shit happens,” Ydris chuckled. “See it positive, I do remember you.”

“That’s definitely a pleasant thought,” Jack smirked. “Maybe we can pick up where we were interrupted.”

“Easy, Captain!” Ydris rushed to say as Jack’s hand slid toward private areas.

“I thought you enjoyed what we were doing.”

Ydris heaved a sigh. “I did… and I will. Just not here on deck. Okay?”

“Yeah,” Jack agreed tiredly. “I’m not really up to it anyway.”

“Why don’t you lie down and have some rest?” Ydris suggested, taking off his jacket. “C’mon!” Earnestly, he coaxed Jack to stretch out beside him and stuffed his jacket under his head. “You don’t need to tell me. Too many times. Rest, Jack. You earned it.”

“Did I?”

It astonished Ydris to hear the doubt in Jack’s words. “World saved, Captain,” he assured him. “So yes, you did.”

“Don’t feel like it,” Jack mumbled sleepily.

“That’ll come when you’re rested,” Ydris murmured, letting his fingers thread through Jack’s hair. A moment later, the captain was dead to the world.

Noticing that the boat slowed down, the Welshman looked up to see the barrage. From there it did not take long until they were far enough out on the sea to dump the octopus’s remains. Together with Dylan, he emptied the holds and they were swarmed by seagulls that came to get their share. The ship was almost back at the Quay, when Jack woke up.

“Why are we berthing again?” the captain asked, confused. “Shouldn’t we be going in the other direction?”

“Don’t worry,” Ydris told him, stroking his back. “Everything’s taken care of.”

“But…”

“No buts, Jack,” he gently scolded. “You don’t need to do everything on your own. Now come… unless you plan to stay aboard.”

“Nope.”

Before they left, though, they helped to moor the boat and Jack went to the bridge to talk with Dylan. Ydris waited on the boardwalk in front of the tourist office and was slightly surprised to see the small ship chug away.

“What?” Jack chuckled at Ydris’s sceptical expression.

“Well, I thought Dylan would get tired and, well…”

“You mean you expected me to retcon him.”

“To make him forget, yeah.”

Jack smirked. “Dylan’s good at asking no questions.”

“He can count himself lucky that you trust him then.”

“Who said anything about trust?” Jack shrugged it off, choosing not to mention the pill he had slipped into Dylan’s teapot. He knew how long the man needed to reach his anchorage and that he would make it safely before the drug kicked in.

“You did it again,” Ydris groaned.

“So, what now?” Jack cheerfully asked as he unlocked the tourist office. “Wanna stay and help?”

“Are you offering me a job?” the Welshman asked excitedly.

“Temporarily.”

Ydris’s shoulders sagged. Now why did he even get his hopes up?

“Are you coming?”

Holding the door open, Jack gestured Ydris inside and the young man complied. They were cleaning up in the main Hub for another two hours before Jack decided they had enough. First they had a shower and then Jack found a better way to compensate Ydris for his help than simple payment. At least in his point of view. Even though the Welshman never said anything about it, Jack assumed that he loved it, too. At least if his squeals and moans were any indication.

 

*Challenge

 

xXx

 

As he did not take his watch with him, Ianto did not know how much time had passed since he had left the flat to get breakfast, but he knew that he took a little longer than he had planned due to Mrs. Dillard showing him the room he now had a key for. Still, he did not believe that he was away overly long and was taught differently when he rang Owen’s doorbell and was stunned by the door flying open and the medic grabbing his sweater and pulling him inside, slamming the door shut.

“Ianto! For God’s sake! Where have you been?”

Glowering at Owen for the admonishment, Ianto wrenched out of his hold and pushed past the medic into the kitchen area. “I didn’t intend to be so long,” he groaned. “Just wanted to get some pastries for breakfast.”

“And instead you bought the whole bakery?” Owen grunted at the sight of the huge paper bags the younger man was carrying. “You could’ve left a note.”

“I was forced to take all these for free,” Ianto chuckled as he dropped the bags on the kitchen counter. “I’m an adult, by the way. I can be trusted to survive on my own for an hour without you.”

“I don’t know when you’ve left, Ianto, but it’s been three hours since I woke up and found you gone.”

“Really?”

Biting his bottom lip, Ianto rolled his eyes. He looked so sheepish doing that, that Owen could not help but laugh.

“Well, not quite,” the medic relented. “But I still was worried. Not because you’re not old enough or because you don’t know the city, I know you do, but because we just came back from a bad mission. I was about to call the team so we could search for you.”

Ianto looked crestfallen.

“Owen, I’m sorry. I came to the bakery and there was a note in the window about a room to let and I went to ask about it…”

“A room? What’s wrong with my bed?”

Ianto glanced at the huge bed at the panorama window.

“Nothing. It’s comfortable, really,” the Welshman shrugged. “But I shouldn’t stay here the whole time that I’m temping for Three.”

“Well, you’ll have to be at the Hub for that,” Owen grunted. “Besides, I invited you.”

“And I appreciate that,” Ianto assured him. “Still I’ll prefer my own room, even if it’s just for one week.” A crooked smile cracked his features. “It has a not so pretty couch in it. Do you have a plaid I could borrow?”

“Actually… no, don’t think so.”

“Bummer.” Turning to a shelf to put two of the pastry bags there, Ianto’s gaze fell on a clock. “Three hours, huh?”

“Pardon?”

“You said I was gone for over three hours, Owen,” Ianto complained. “Only about one has passed, though.”

“Just a little exaggeration,” Owen huffed. “Now, show me the pastries you got! I’m hungry!”

 

xXx

 

After a belated breakfast, Owen and Ianto took the bus into town in order to find Ianto a plaid for the _not so pretty_ couch. Owen could not help but tease Ianto about it, even though he had not seen it yet and Ianto ignored him. The Welshman was not picky and bought a simple beige cotton plaid that would do well for the short amount of time that he was going to stay. Neither of them was the type for extended shopping trips, but as Ianto had not been in Cardiff for several years, they still strolled around the inner city for a while. At the market hall, Ianto bought a couple of Welshcakes. He was chewing on one filled with lemon curd when he found Owen staring at an empty booth.

“Wow,” Ianto mumbled around the cake at the sight of the bullet-peppered wall.

“Didn’t Jack mention that they were at the market hall the day after the attack?” Owen murmured. “Must’ve been quite an uproar.”

“I wonder what they were up against,” Ianto said, turning to leave.

“And I wonder what the cover story is,” Owen chuckled, catching up. “Cardiff isn’t known for shootouts like this.”

On their way back to the bus stop, they got a newspaper and skimmed through it in search of Rift related articles. _Unusual animal sighting_ was the first headline they came across. There also was a picture included.

“The transformation of the so called Ghosts was followed by a series of unusual appearances,” Ianto read, and trailed off as the bus pulled to a stop. Preceding Owen, he looked for a seat away from the other passengers so they could have some privacy. The only one he could find that did not have anyone seated nearby was to the back of the bus, which was fine, as far as Ianto was concerned, and he did not think Owen would be likely to get carsick.

“At Bute Park witnesses described a pair of unidentified flying animals the size of large birds of prey,” Ianto continued once Owen was seated beside him. “Given the proximity to Cardiff Castle, the birds are suspected to have escaped from the castle’s falconry, but the Castle’s spokesman, Hamish Havisham, denies the claims. A pair of off-duty police constables under the direction of a volunteer affiliated with the Welsh Hawking Centre in Barry, attempted to capture the creatures, but to date, there is no report on the results of their efforts.”

“Our captain was busy, all right,” Owen snickered and had a closer look at the picture that was astonishingly sharp for being taken by nightfall. “That doesn’t look like a bird at all.”

“No, more like a manta ray,” Ianto murmured, already glancing over the next articles. “Here,” he pointed one out. “Pack of lizards loose at Cardiff Market.”

“...one man killed by the exotic animals which presumably escaped from a pet shop. A special ops team was forced to shoot the reptiles in order to bring the situation under control. An unidentified woman who may have witnessed the attack was admitted to hospital with shock. Suffering from retrograde amnesia…” at that the men exchanged knowing glances, “she could not give a statement to the police.”

“Special ops, huh?” Ianto chuckled.

“Yeah, well, as long as they don’t write Torchwood,” Owen whispered back.

“Given the Rift right through the city I’m surprised that the Institute’s not better known here anyway,” Ianto mused aloud. “I imagine that it’s hard to keep a low profile here, especially after days like these.”

“Yeah,” Owen sneered, “especially with a boss like Jack.”

“If you say so.”

Owen laughed. “C’mon, Ianto! Didn’t you see enough of his blustering to believe it?”

All Ianto did was shrug. Actually, he had encountered a rather pensive and compassionate man. Sure, there had been moments when Jack could not help his extrovert nature and flirted by hook or by crook, but all things considered, Ianto tended to believe that Jack was a rather complex and at times introverted person.

“Hey, Ianto,” Owen prodded. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Ianto said. “Just thinking.”

“About Jack?”

Ianto nodded.

“Careful, mate. You don’t want to give him the wrong impression.” Owen snickered. “We’ve got to get out here.”

They left the bus and went to Ianto’s new room.

 

tbc…


	3. Great Western

“You should’ve seen it!” Owen laughed. “It’s one of those old sofas with pink roses. It’s _lovely_!”

“I bet it actually _is_ lovely,” Toshiko scolded. “If not Ianto’s style.”

“Oh?” Suzie cut in. “You’re familiar with the Welshman’s style?”

“I’m not, but I can tell for sure that pink roses aren’t necessarily masculine.”

Ianto grinned at the teasing. It was nice to have someone to banter with, even though it could not quench his grief.

 _I don’t think it has really hit home yet,_ Ianto thought. _I was so busy right after Jack freed me and now here in Cardiff. I’m grateful for the chance to participate but it doesn’t leave much room for grieving._

First, his thoughts drifted to Lisa. Right now her death felt surreal. After shedding the first bitter tears back at their flat, it was almost as if he was past all stages of grieving. His logical mind told him that could not be. Still it did not hurt when he thought of Lisa now. There was just a nagging worry that she might not be treated well by UNIT. The same applied to Virginia and everyone else who worked for Torchwood One.

_I wonder when it all will catch up on me. I shouldn’t sit here with the others having beer and still feel perfectly right._

“Hey, Welsh Man,” Suzie cut into his musings. “Are you still with us?”

All of a sudden, Ianto’s insides constricted painfully and his throat corded up.

“Please, don’t call me that,” he hoarsely said.

Suzie appeared to be surprised and about to object, but Toshiko sensed that something really bothered him.

“May I ask why?” she queried.

“My fiancé called me that,” Ianto admitted. “She… made it sound like the name of a super hero.”

“Sorry,” Suzie mumbled.

Owen patted his shoulder. “Shall I get another round?” the medic asked.

“Yeah, one more will be fine,” Toshiko agreed and Suzie wordlessly shoved her empty glass to Owen.

“Ianto?”

“Okay,” he nodded. “A final one.”

While Owen went to get the beverages, an awkward silence fell between them. Ianto’s gaze was drawn to the monitor where the BBC news channel was running. There were no reports about Canary Wharf, though. Ianto did not know when he had last been at the Great Western pub. That must have been when he still was in school and Cardiff was the _big city_. Once he was finished with school, he got as far away from Newport as he could, which happened to be London. He always wanted to work in a skyscraper and at times, he could feel at Canary Wharf like he was in New York City. No comparison at all to Cardiff and yet the Torchwood branch there seemed far more exotic and exciting. Working with the Rift was totally different to how One was organized after all.

“Tosh, what happened at the market hall?” Ianto asked.

Caught by surprise, Toshiko had to ask, “What about it?”

“We were there earlier today and saw the bullet holes,” Ianto explained. “In the newspaper they said that a flock of lizards attacked a vendor. Now, what did really happen?”

This time, Toshiko smirked. Conspiratorially, she leaned forward and murmured, “Jack and the constables chased down a pack of dinosaurs there.”

“Dinosaurs?” Suzie gasped. This was news to her as well.

“Yeah. Procompsognathus triassicus if I identified them correctly.”

“They’re about chicken sized carnivores, right?” Ianto said.

“Ah, another one who watched _Jurassic Park_ ,” Owen cheered as he returned with the drinks. Imitating the actress, he breathed, “Can we chance to move him?” With a thump, he put the glasses down to imitate the stomp of the T-Rex before he huffed anxiously, “Yes, please chance it.”

“Can’t you be serious for once?” Ianto hissed. “Sit down and keep your mouth shut.”

“Hey, mate! Just a bit of fun,” Owen complained but dropped in his chair.

“Yeah, but it failed to be funny.” Ianto sipped at his beer.

“You were right, though, Ianto,” Toshiko said. “The creatures had already killed a man when Jack arrived at the market hall. With the help of the constables, he evacuated and closed the market in order to round the dinosaurs up and eliminate them.”

“They’re all dead?” Suzie asked.

“Yes,” Toshiko nodded. “There was no time to catch them. One alert followed another. The Rift really kept us busy.”

“What else did you encounter?” Ianto queried.

“Loads of things.” Toshiko drank a bit and searched the right tempo for what she had to tell. “A giant mantis for example. It came through near the stadium. There were blowfishes and the little dinos… and weevils of course.”

“Of course,” Suzie huffed, grimacing at the thought of the humanoid creatures.

“I collected a couple of spider bots at Rookwood Hospital while Jack was still busy with the dinos, and when we were on our way back, a giant octopus fell through the Rift.”

“Blimey!” Owen said excitedly. “Wish I could’ve seen that.”

“Chasing the octopus, Jack picked up a stray, Ydris, but he was retconned along with the constables,” Toshiko told them. Suddenly, she chuckled and brought her hand up to keep herself from laughing out loud. “Well, and Constable Andy couldn’t keep his hands to himself and put the Bracosian mask on.”

“Oh!” Suzie smirked, her gaze drifting to the medic.

“Don’t remind me,” Owen snarled.

“Why? What’s wrong with the mask?” Ianto took his cue.

“It’s used for…” Toshiko paused with a laugh. Lowering her voice, she then leaned closer to Ianto and whispered, “ritualistic depilation.”

“Depilation?”

“Yeah,” she chuckled. “All over.”

Ianto’s eyes grew wide as he looked to Owen and imagined him without any hair. As he was so skinny, he would look like one of the Roswell greys - an unusually tall one - a comparison that made Ianto wonder if it really was a good idea to stick with Torchwood if he laughed about that ridiculous idea.

The medic glared at his colleagues.

“Very funny,” he growled.

“I bet the constable was pretty shocked,” Suzie said.

“Not as shocked as Owen,” Toshiko giggled behind her hand. “Remember how quickly he vanished into his med bay?”

Suzie laughed as well. “Like it was yesterday.”

“What about the creatures at Bute Park?” Owen demanded in order to change the subject.

“You mean the giant moth?” Toshiko said. “Jack was forced to kill it.”

“No, I mean the others that were in the newspaper.”

“Really?” Toshiko sighed. “It’s near impossible to keep everything under wraps with people having iPhones.”

“Actually,” Ianto cut in, “the picture was too good to have been made with an iPhone. It’s more likely that it was made with an SLR.”

“Why, aren’t you a clever Dick,” Owen teased. “Now what happened to the unidentified flying animals?”

“Flown away,” Toshiko shrugged and took another drink. “If they can survive here we might hear about a new species being discovered.”

“Will you search for them?” Ianto asked. As he was not familiar with the way Torchwood Three worked, he was curious to know what they planned to do about the escaped aliens.

“Well, we’ll keep an eye on all news,” Toshiko explained, “but we have neither the time nor the manpower to actively search for them.”

Ianto nodded thoughtfully. He should have known that. With only the four of them, they were busy enough with the everyday madness the Rift threw at them.

Suddenly, Toshiko gasped into her beer.

“You know, I just remembered that we have guests in the vaults.”

“Another weevil?” Owen sighed.

“No. The constables discovered a female Tasmanian tiger with her pups. I should check on them.”

“Tosh, really?” Owen groaned. “Jack gave us the weekend off. Do you really want to go in anyway?”

“On second thought, maybe somebody should check on Jack as well,” Ianto threw in. “I mean, we’re leaving him alone with the cleanup, aren’t we?”

“He gave us the weekend _off_ , guys,” Owen insisted.

“But Ianto is right,” Toshiko relented. “Jack’s alone with the mess that is the Hub. There was enough damage after the Cyberattack already, but that octopus topped it off.”

“Was it directly in the Hub then?” Suzie asked.

“Yeah. It came up through the tidal basin.”

“How did it get in at all?” Owen prodded. “Shouldn’t the tunnels be protected?”

“Sure, but Jack wanted to trap the creature there. The plan worked all right… except for the octopus grabbing him and Ydris and pulling them into the bay. I locked the tunnel behind it as Jack had asked and thankfully it came up in the basin. Otherwise we would’ve lost both men.” She trailed off, thoughtfully following the rim of her glass with the tip of her index finger.

“Then he couldn’t have gotten me out,” Ianto murmured tonelessly into the uncomfortable silence.

“Hey, don’t go there,” Owen admonished. “We would’ve found another way.”

“Owen’s right,” Suzie assured him but did not sound convincing.

Another moment of silence followed that offered Ianto time to think. So much had happened today. He went out to get breakfast and got a room in addition. He was in town with Owen to buy a plaid for decoration. He enjoyed Welshcakes. He carried his stuff to the new room and unpacked what little he brought with him. He joined Owen and the girls from Torchwood Three having beer, enjoying the evening.

_What’s happening in London right now? Is UNIT taking proper care of the bodies? Is anyone taking care of the survivors? What’s Jack doing? There’s not just the mess to clean up but there might be an alert as well, and he’s alone._

This did not feel right.

“You know,” Toshiko said, “just because Jack told us he didn’t want to see us before Monday again doesn’t make it right. This was a huge crisis. He needs our help.”

“Toshiko is right,” Ianto agreed. “Either we should be at the Hub, or Jack should be here with us.”

“He’s not really into team activities like this,” Owen shrugged.

“Owen, you’re an insensitive git,” Ianto snarled, kicking the medic’s shin under the table before he got up. “Come on, move your scrawny arse.”

Rolling his eyes at the girls’ laughter, Owen downed the rest of his beer. He had to hurry to catch up to his colleagues, but he had paid for this round and he was going to finish his drink.

 

tbc…


	4. The big cleanup

“I still can’t believe that you’re actually living here,” Ydris said as he brushed glass shards onto his dust pan. “Why don’t you have a flat or a house in Cardiff?”

“Why should I when I spend most of my time here anyway?” Jack shrugged.

“Don’t you feel the need to get out every now and then?”

At that, Jack paused and sank into Owen’s chair. It was not as easy as that.

“A flat wouldn’t change anything, Ydris. When I feel like getting away, I find a calm spot to clear my head.”

“Where do you go?”

Jack scowled at Ydris who was still working and certainly did not even notice how much he was prodding.

“You’re awfully curious, sweet cheeks,” Jack scolded in a salacious tone and with a smirk that could have made the Welshman’s legs turn into rubber if he had seen it.

“Huh?” Ydris let the brush sink and turned to look at Jack who now leaned provocatively in the chair. “Oh, just making conversation.”

“You’re not just making conversation,” Jack mildly said, shaking his head. “You’re interrogating me.”

Ydris laughed. “As if I had any chance of success with it!”

“True,” Jack smirked.

When Ydris continued with his task, Jack spared another minute to admire the well-rounded silhouette before he also returned to picking up the remains of Owen’s workstation. With surprise, he dug up the medic’s coffee pot that was undamaged and put it into the left container while broken pieces came into the right box. The table could not be saved, but one of the monitors already stood on Suzie’s desk and the frame that held the screens could be repaired as well.

“I can help you with the windows and the workstation,” Ydris said as if he read Jack’s mind. “I tinker around a lot. I can repair those things.”

Jack chuckled.

“You’re really trying anything, aren’t you?” he teased.

“So I could stay?” Ydris asked back. “I’m just offering you my help. I mean, if you brought in craftsmen to repair the windows you would steal their memories, wouldn’t you? And you like having me around, don’t you?”

“I can’t deny that,” Jack cheerfully replied.

To be on the safe side, he applied himself to the task of cleaning up because otherwise he might have torn the clothes off the Welshman right where he stood. Ydris was definitely more exciting than sorting the mess the octopus made. Knowing that he had to get done sooner rather than later, Jack resigned himself to working first. The reward would be even sweeter when they were done.

That was when the proximity alarm blared and the cog door rolled open.

 

xXx

 

As Toshiko wanted to show Ianto the entrance where he could get in on Monday morning, Owen dropped her and Ianto off at the Plass before he drove into the underground garage to park. They could enter the Hub from there as well, but Ianto was more likely to come by foot as his bedsit was in walking distance.

Aside from that, Ianto preferred to walk and breathe some fresh air. It was good to be outside, which he noticed now even more than while he was at the pub. When they passed the water column across the Millennium Centre, he noticed the tent and how Toshiko paused for a second to look at it.

“A Cyberman broke through the ceiling there,” she told him when he asked. “One of the things we’ll have to sort out.”

“I see,” he murmured. All of a sudden, he was not so sure anymore if this was a good idea.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Hm hmmm.”

“Ianto?” she prodded, slowing her steps. “Really? Tell me if something’s wrong.”

Stopping, he took a deep breath. So close to the bay the air was salty and even now that it was dark, he could hear the seagulls.

“Ianto?”

Gently, she put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m okay,” he murmured. “I… just became aware that I wouldn’t be here without you lot.”

Squeezing his shoulder reassuringly, Toshiko murmured, “I’m sure UNIT would’ve gotten you out as well.”

Ianto huffed. “UNIT was about to shoot me.”

“Oh.”

On second thought, Toshiko wondered why she was surprised, given her own experiences with the organization.

“Now where’s the tourist office?” Ianto asked with fresh determination. It was either that or sinking down on the broad stairs lining the Oval Basin and wallowing in a surge of depression.

“Down there,” Toshiko pointed toward the boardwalk. “It’s around the corner. Not far, really.”

“I know Mermaid Quay, but I never really noticed a tourist office down there. I only know the one in the Millennium Centre.”

“That… might be because ours is usually closed,” she admitted. “It’s a front after all.”

“To make it believable you should take care of it, though.”

“Probably,” she shrugged. “But we usually don’t have the time to do so.”

“Maybe you should hire someone just for the tourist office then,” Ianto suggested.

Toshiko froze in her steps.

“What did I say?” Ianto asked, stopping beside her.

“Nothing,” she replied. “It’s just that nobody gave it any thought before. I can see where you’re coming from, though: A tourist information office that’s located in an area well frequented by tourists might raise suspicion. Maybe you should tell Jack about it.”

“Okay.”

As they approached the subject of their conversation, Ianto was even more convinced that it needed taking care of but did not mention it again. Instead, he watched how Toshiko entered a keycode and followed her inside. As soon as the door was closed, she reached over the counter and a hidden doorway to their right swung open.

“After you,” she offered and Ianto stepped through. She led him to the elevator and when they neared a cog door at the end of the tunnel an alarm blared as the entrance rolled open.

“Wow,” Ianto muttered as he stepped through the heavy barred gate and let his gaze drift through the main Hub.

“Impressive, right?” Jack cheered as he leaned against the railing on the station floor.

Once more, Ianto let his view wander.

“It has that certain indefinable something,” he finally said.

“Yep,” Jack smirked.

“Such a sewerly charm.”

At that, Jack’s features crumbled. “Why, thank you, Mr. Jones.”

“What in bloody hell…!” they were interrupted by Owen’s exclamation when the medic came in through the armoury, Suzie right behind him. “Jack! Did you have a party while we were gone?”

“Yes, indeed,” Jack huffed, “and the guest of honour was so thrilled that he trashed the venue.”

“Now seriously,” Owen said as he bounded up the stairs. “What happened to my workstation?”

“Octopus,” Jack shrugged.

“You’re kidding.”

“I told you it was huge,” Toshiko cut in, following him upstairs. “But don’t worry, Owen. We’ll put your station back up in no time. You won’t have to do long without it.”

“Thanks,” he grumbled back, knowing quite well that she teased him about his usual listlessness about writing reports or compiling information.

“Hey, Tosh.”

At that, she whipped her head around. “Ydris!” Her gaze flicked to Jack who shrugged. “Nice to see you, Ydris. So, you’re helping out?”

“Yep.”

“That’s good. Every extra pair of hands is very welcome.” Turning to Ianto, Toshiko introduced, “Ydris, this is Ianto Jones, Torchwood London. Ianto, Ydris is the one who helped Jack with catching the octopus.”

“Hello,” Ianto nodded at the other Welshman.

Toshiko nudged Ianto’s shoulder, “Are you coming with me?”

“Down to the vaults?”

“Yes.”

Nodding, he started to follow her.

“What’s so important about the vaults right now?” Jack asked, disappointed that Ianto would not stay. He really enjoyed the view. The man looked delectable in his jeans and dress shirt.

With a sigh, Toshiko explained, “The thylacines need looking after, Jack.”

“Oh, right!” Jack was mortified. “I’m sorry. I forgot Gwen insisted on bringing them here. There was so much we had to deal with…”

“It’s okay, Jack,” she said. “We’ll tend to them now.”

“We should’ve brought them something to eat,” Ianto said as he walked down the tunnel with her.

“I think there’s still some meat left in the fridge,” Toshiko assured him. “We always need to store some for the occasional weevil.”

“You keep them down there as well?”

“Not right now. The last one we got was killed by a Cyberman.”

At the mention of the Cyberman Ianto fell silent. The long tunnel already became oppressing but he refused to cave to his rising anxiety. Hearing steps from behind, he turned his head to discover Owen and Ydris, then followed Suzie. Toshiko stepped into a hall with three cells where she found the thylacines in the last one of the row.

“Tosh!” Jack called after her. “I think there actually is…”

It was then that Ianto followed Toshiko inside and jumped sideways when something thumped against the security glass with a roar.

“…a weevil in there,” Jack finished his sentence. Turning to Ianto, he asked, “Are you okay?”

“Sure,” Ianto muttered, his gaze fixed on the humanoid creature. It looked pretty vicious and still there was something sad about it. Standing close to the glass, the weevil eyed Ianto with as much interest as the Welshman did. It pulled up its lip to inhale the unfamiliar scents through the holes in the glass wall and growled deeply.

“Will it have to stay?” Ianto asked.

“I don’t know what else to do with it,” Jack admitted. “Once they’re beyond their shyness toward humans, they’re impossible to control.”

“And your solution is to keep them here indefinitely?”

“Um…”

Jack was caught on the wrong foot. Ianto’s fresh view on Torchwood Three revealed shortcomings he usually comfortably forgot about. The inconvenient truth was that they did not have much of a choice. They could either lock it up or put it down as it was too dangerous to let it return to its horde into the sewers. They simply knew as good as nothing about weevils so they were incapable of communicating to them that they just had to stay out of the way of humans to be left alone.

“They’re cute!” Ydris cheered, squatting down in front of the glass wall. “Look at those pups!”

“She’s got enough water,” Toshiko stated after a closer look. “I’ll get her something to eat.”

“Yes, do that,” Jack agreed.

“What are you going to do with them?” Ydris asked. “They can’t stay here.”

“Gwen wanted to ship them to Australia.”

“And then what?” Ianto asked. “Just put them there in the wild?

“Yeah.”

“Then you should know exactly where you can send them,” Ydris said. “The Tasmanian tiger is officially extinct, though sightings are reported every now and then. You can’t just put _Australia_ on the crate and let them run there.”

“Ydris is right. They need the right environment and they won’t find it on the mainland,” Ianto agreed. “In Australia the tiger was gone even before the first Europeans settled there.”

Jack smirked with irritation.

“We’ve picked up a walking encyclopaedia,” Owen grunted. “Do you also know that there have been attempts to clone the tigers?”

“Unsuccessfully,” Ydris cut in. “Even in recent years sightings have been recorded, though. On the mainland as well as in Tasmania. We could choose one of those places to release them.”

“And I’m _not_ an encyclopaedia,” Ianto huffed.

“You sound like one.”

“Anyway,” Jack cheerfully said, “could you take care of our tigers?”

“Who, me?” Ydris asked back.

“Yeah, you and Ianto. Could you do that?”

“Sure,” Ianto agreed. “I’ll get right to it.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s not _that_ urgent,” Jack chuckled and caught Ianto by the arm as he was about to stride out. “But I love your sense of duty.”

“Of course, sir,” Ianto automatically replied. “The tigers need to get back to fresh air so we shouldn’t waste their time.”

“Don’t rush it, Ianto. In Australia it’s Saturday already after all.”

“The tigers don’t know that, sir.”

“Jack.”

Suzie snickered at Jack’s flirtatious tone and Owen just rolled his eyes. Captain Jack really was incorrigible.

“Right, that’s your name, sir,” Ianto replied and winked at Owen. “We can still do some research while the rest of you are cleaning up…, sir.”

Shaking his head with disbelief, Jack watched the two young men leave the tunnel right when Toshiko returned. The team stayed while she fed the Tasmanian tiger, then they all returned to the main Hub where they found Ianto and Ydris sorting the last remains of the destroyed workstation.

“Now what happened to doing research, Ianto?” Jack teased, just barely able to resist slapping the firm arse in tight jeans that hovered tantalizingly in reach as Ianto bent forward to take a piece of scrap from Ydris.

“Neither of us wanted to turn anything on without your permission, sir.”

“Oh, Ianto,” Jack could not resist, “you can turn me on whenever you like, with or without my permission.”

“Is that the best comeback you have to offer?” Ianto snickered. “And keep your hands to yourself, sir.”

Jack, who actually had leaned closer to reach out for the firm rounds, flinched back. Ianto did not turn his head and still stood with his back to Jack. How did he know? Hearing Owen and Suzie laugh did not make the situation any better.

Unnoticed by the others, Ydris scowled at the debris. Even though he hardly knew Jack Harkness, he could not deny the pang of jealousy that stung his insides when he heard him flirt so blatantly with the other Welshman.

And Ianto, who had seen the captain’s reflection in a broken piece of equipment, had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing at Jack’s confusion as he said, “Now stop staring at my behind and get back to work, sir.”

Shaking off his rigour, Jack grumbled, “And here I thought my odds for a date with you would rise if you came to Cardiff.”

“Keep this behaviour up, sir,” Ianto teased, “and your chances are dwindling from low to non existent.”

All Jack could do was gape.

“Anyway,” Suzie threw in to refocus them, “if we all get busy tonight, we’ll get this cleaned up quickly, so we can still enjoy a calm weekend. Let’s go, guys!”

 

tbc…                                                                                                                                              


	5. A hard night

“I still can’t believe how you talked to Jack,” Owen chuckled as they walked down the narrow street along the bay. “I know I told you not to take any crap from him, but, hey, you _really_ have a wicked tongue:”

“We reap what we sow,” Ianto shrugged.

Sceptically, Owen eyed him from the side. Something in the Welshman’s tone told him that there was more to what he was saying.

“What is it?” Owen prodded.

“I shouldn’t have done that, Owen,” Ianto told him somewhat sheepishly.

He seemed torn, which confused Owen. In his opinion Jack needed a strong opposition and that was what Ianto had provided.

“Shouldn’t have done what?”

“Talked to him like that,” Ianto told him with exasperation. “That was extremely unprofessional.”

Owen almost choked on his laughter.

“Don’t tell me…” he got out between gasps of laughter, “that you’re embarrassed… because you verbally defended yourself.”

“I should’ve been able to put him in his place without getting on his level. He’s our boss. There’s no excuse for talking to him like that.”

Owen was still laughing.

“Owen, I mean it,” Ianto huffed and boxed the medic’s upper arm before he accelerated his steps. They had almost reached his bedsit.

Catching up on Ianto, Owen took him by the arm to stop him. Even in the scarce street light, he could see now that Ianto looked clearly miserable.

“Ianto, what’s wrong?” he gently asked. “What’s really bothering you?”

“It’s like I said,” Ianto insisted. “That was unprofessional behaviour.”

“Then Jack’s to blame as well, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Ianto admitted and tried to escape Owen who would not be so easily shaken off.

“Okay… and what else is wrong?”

Avoiding his gaze, Ianto tried to squirm out of Owen’s grasp.

“Ianto, I’m your doctor. I won’t leave you here on your own if you can’t convince me that you’re all right.”

Suddenly anger filled Ianto’s features.

“How can I be all right after what’s happened?” he spat with a venom that made Owen realize that he was not talking about his stay in Cardiff. The doctor could not say that he was surprised. He could see how Ianto fought for his composure and especially to keep his voice down when he spoke again, yet still excitedly.

“I forgot, Owen! For a while I forgot my grief! How could I forget? How dare I forget?”

Taking him firmly by both shoulders, Owen told him earnestly, “You did _not_ forget, Ianto. Everyone deals differently with grief. Don’t expect it to petrify you when it doesn’t. That you could banter with us doesn’t mean that you’re disrespecting anyone’s memory. There’s a time to grieve, and there’s a time to live. Today those lines were blurred, but you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. You did nothing wrong.”

“It feels wrong, Owen,” Ianto whined. Tears were blurring his sight.

Compassionately, Owen squeezed his shoulders. “Shall I stay with you?”

Ianto looked clearly undecided.

“Do you want to come with me? I can sleep on the couch again.”

Owen waited, but when Ianto still did not answer, he wordlessly took the Welshman by the arm and guided him to the entrance.

“Keys,” he commanded and Ianto was too weary to argue. He handed the keys over and Owen let them in.

Upstairs, he had to shove the Welshman into the bathroom. It took a while until he was ready. After Owen had tucked Ianto up in bed, he sank down on the couch and used the new plaid as a blanket. He listened to Ianto’s low sobs until the Welshman had cried himself to sleep. Only then, he found sleep as well.

 

xXx

 

In another part of Cardiff someone else lay awake. Slowly but surely the fact that Torchwood One was destroyed sank in and despite Jack’s reassurances, Toshiko could not help but worry about her contract.

_He said I’d have to stay five years with Torchwood. If they close the Institute for good they might get the idea to say that I didn’t meet the conditions of my release. What then? Would they force me to return to prison?_

She choked at that idea.

_I can’t go back to that place! I’d go mad! Torchwood is dangerous, true, but I’m not locked up. It’s challenging work and the others are nice. I could’ve hit it worse._

Somewhere at the back of her mind, a small voice whispered to her that she could have died during the invasion. She quickly silenced it by stating firmly that she could have died anywhere else as well when the Ghosts turned into Cybermen. She could have been shot. She could have been converted. She could have had an accident.

She helped to solve the crisis.

_I can be proud to belong to Jack’s team. We’re doing an important job._

Memories of the last two days haunted her, images flashing in front of her inner eye as soon as she tried to rest. She turned onto the other side and struggled to find a comfortable position. For a few seconds, she believed that she could finally drift off to sleep before the unmistakable feeling that the Rift was going to erupt startled her once more.

_The Rift was so volatile after the Cybermen came through. Why should it stay calm now? I shouldn’t be in bed when an alert could come in any minute._

She sighed.

_Maybe it’ll be all over soon. When UNIT takes over we all can search for a new job. How much authority will Jack have then?_

A chill ran down her spine.

_No, Tosh. Don’t go there. Jack said they wouldn’t dare to do that. UNIT won’t take over guarding the Rift. They have enough on their hands as it is._

Turning once more, she bunched up her pillow.

_I need to have faith in Jack and wait. They won’t rush the matter as long as more pressing things demand their attention. The crisis is barely over and we all need to deal with the aftermath. It’ll take time to tend to everything._

This time, she twisted onto her back. Staring at the ceiling, she forced herself to feel optimistic. She trusted Jack. Everything would turn out all right.

In the end, her body shut down with sheer exhaustion.

 

xXx

 

Being with Jack was different to everything Ydris had experienced before. The captain could be as tender and loving as he was brash and wild. Being treated to soft caresses and kisses, he could not help but wonder for a fleeting second if Jack’s team knew about the soft core under their leader’s tough exterior. Just as quickly as the thought occurred, it was gone again, dissolving in an eruption of sensations.

When he fell asleep, Ydris could not recall, but when he woke up the space at his side was vacated. Groaning, he searched for his watch and found that it still was in the wee small hours.

“Jack?”

Usually, he would assume that his lover went to the bathroom or got something to drink, but as he realized with a start that was not the case with Jack. The captain could have many reasons for leaving their bed that ranged from the aforementioned to much more ominous causes. Did he have reason to assume that the captain ran out on him? Yes, he did. As they were at the Hub, though, Ydris could also imagine that Jack had to react to an alert or something.

_Though I would have noticed an alert, wouldn’t I?_

From above, he heard the scraping of a chair and footsteps. Jack was in the office, getting up from his desk.

 _Still surprised how easily I fell into bed with Jack._ Ydris scratched the back of his neck. _Sure, I’ve experimented before, so I wasn’t exactly a blushing virgin, but still that doesn’t explain it._

And that was not the only thing that astonished him. With irritation, he realized that he felt jealous when Jack showed interest in someone else… which he did with quite a flourish when Ianto showed up at the Hub.

_I have no idea why I feel so possessive. It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything. We met, shite, only two days ago._

Now that he thought about it, Ydris realized that Ianto was not the only one the captain had flirted with. Whenever a line invited it, he would come back with a double entendre or a downright challenge. For Jack flirting seemed to be the default setting.

Ydris recognized that he did not like it.

_Who am I kidding? I’m no more than a one-night stand. Well, rather a two-night stand. Or better yet a day-and-night stand._

He sighed.

_His love-making isn’t shallow, though. He was cautious and tender, unselfish, made me feel cherished. Can’t say that about many people._

His stomach grumbled, reminding him that they did not think of having dinner between work and sex.

_What the hell am I doing?_

Turning onto his other side, he tried to ignore the nagging feeling.

_Maybe I should think it through. The dashing captain isn’t the type for a long-term relationship. He won’t hire me either. I’m fooling myself if I believe otherwise. Maybe I should pull the ripcord and stop this madness before I get myself in too deep._

After leaving the constables the other morning, he went to a pub to have some breakfast. During a long walk, he tried to clear his head, but in the end, he found himself down at Mermaid Quay. He called in sick at work and waited for any sign of Jack Harkness.

_I practically hunted him down. Now look where it got me._

Despite his intention to do so, he could not regret it. Hearing voices from above, he pushed back the covers and got up.

 

xXx

 

Captain Jack Harkness felt neither dashing nor flirtatious as he sat deeply in his leather executive chair, watching CCTV recordings Toshiko had downloaded from Torchwood One’s system. At first the load of material had discouraged him, but then he made sense of the coding and discovered the videos taken down in the sphere chamber.

The sound was hit and miss. Toshiko had been lucky to save the images, but Jack could remember silent movies, and when the sound went out, he could interpret what happened from people’s facial expressions and body language.

The man in the brown striped suit and trainers with the unruly hair did not look familiar at all. Still, even if Rajesh had not approached him with admiration, Jack would have recognized him at once by the way he gazed at the sphere. The shockingly blonde woman who came in with the others asked what that thing was and was told by Yvonne that she had no idea.

_I haven’t seen her before, but still she seems familiar._

His gaze drifted back to the Doctor. An aura of tense curiosity surrounded the Time Lord as he suddenly darted forward and up the stairs and put on coloured glasses.

_I think I know why she looks familiar. She looks like Rose. Sweet Rose. Did so much time pass since your last visit here? How old is she? In her forties, now? Wow._

He felt a flash of bitter resentment that she had been granted the opportunity to grow old with the Doctor while he had been condemned to perpetual life and youth and then abandoned.

_I shouldn’t blame her. She probably didn’t have any say in the matter._

_‘My ship, my rules,’_ he heard his Doctor say in his memory.

“But I didn’t even know I was breaking them,” Jack whispered, and to block the tears that were rising in his throat, he downed the rest of his glass of brandy.

Despite the warming effects of the liquor, chills ran down Jack’s spine when he heard the Doctor talk about the void ship, confirming his suspicions. Now he was certain that the Doctor had sent the Daleks and Cybermen back into what he called the Void. How exactly he had done it was irrelevant. Jack knew the Doctor and how he solved the most precarious situations. He did not need to see it to believe it.

Still he felt the urge to watch more of the CCTV feeds. Why he tortured himself with searching the recordings for appearances of the Doctor he could not tell. Having missed him was hard enough as it was. Watching him do what he did best only made it worse.

The glass of brandy that Jack had emptied was not the first one and it would not be the last. Of course, he knew that alcohol was no solution, but when sex did not help, he had to try other options.

 _And it’s not Ydris’s fault that it didn’t work out for me. He was oh so willing! Much too willing to be exact._ Groaning, he rubbed the back of his neck. He was sore all over. _I wasn’t man enough to turn him down. Worse even, I took advantage of him._

Pouring and slugging back yet another glass of brandy, Jack tried to drown his sudden repulsion.

_Didn’t I change one bit? Am I still the same selfish shit that went around shagging everyone and everything just for my own pleasure?_

Once more, he reached for the bottle. This time, he realized what he held in hand. It had been a gift to Alex from a grateful traveller they had been able to help, a handcrafted bottle of fine old brandy that had become part of Jack’s inheritance at the turn of the millennium. He should have saved it for a special occasion, shared it with friends, sipping it from a snifter warmed in the palm of his hand to release the aromatic compounds and enhance the flavour. Instead, he was slugging it back like cheap moonshine in order to get drunk as fast as possible.

 _‘Really? That’s how you want to handle this?’_ his Doctor’s voice challenged him.

 _Shut up,_ Jack thought. _You only get to talk to me in person._

Even disgusted by himself as he was, he could not stop himself from refilling his water glass and lifting it to his lips, barely taking time to taste the fine liquor as he poured it down his gullet and hoped that it would be enough to numb his sensibilities.

Jack found a video showing a young dark skinned woman and a Caucasian man who went into the construction area that later turned out to be the conversion chambers. They were obviously flirting and for a second, Jack smirked wryly at their smitten behaviour.

_Can’t even remember when I last felt those butterflies in my stomach. It’s all gotten so dull. Grey. Uniform. No tension. No surprises… If I didn’t crave the company, I could do just as well for myself._

When the young couple showed up again, their manners had changed. They appeared rather stiff and wooden as they marched down the hall and Jack felt his stomach churn, realizing that those two had to be among the first victims.

With the realization came the desire for more alcohol and he complied readily. Searching for other videos, Jack poured himself another shot of brandy. One more glass and the bottle would be empty. He would have to leave his desk and get more. With a sigh, he raised the glass to his lips and let the brandy burn its way down. Clicking on the next file with his right hand, he poured the preliminary last glass with his left. The alcohol had not produced the desired effect on him yet.

There was another clip from within the sphere chamber and Jack did a double take, quickly stopping the fast forward and going back a few minutes to watch it again.

“Mickey.”

And then there was Rose. She looked just as she had when he last saw her.

_Then who’s the other blonde woman? Who…? Oh! She must be Rose’s mum! Now, why would the Doctor travel with her mother?_

_‘Don’t you mean why would I leave you behind?’_ The Doctor in his mind still had the northern accent of the man who had showed up in World War II London dressed as a U-Boat captain.

“I said shut up,” Jack growled quietly.

_I’ve asked myself that often enough. You don’t get to torture me with it unless you’re here to answer it._

Confusion filled him for a fleeting moment until he watched the sphere open and his heart skipped a beat when the Daleks came out. His insides constricted painfully but he had to keep watching. He had to know what happened to Rose.

 _‘Oh, come on, Jack!’_ his Doctor’s voice prodded. _‘If I’m in your head asking, the answer must be kicking around in here somewhere, too.’_

The recording ended.

_No!_

Jack could not even express his horror. As bad as it was to watch, it was even worse not to know what happened. Did Rose get away? Did the Doctor save her?

He downed the brandy.

It hardly burnt anymore. It just slipped past the lump in his throat and soaked the dumpling of self-pity that sat in his stomach and grew with every gulp of liquor that Jack downed. His insides constricted around the enormous ball of hurt and made him even more sore.

The sight of the empty bottle made Jack feel hollow. Having no other means to fill the empty space, he pushed his chair back to get up and search for more alcohol. There had to be another bottle of brandy in the cupboard and if there was no brandy then there would be whiskey.

_Old whiskey. At least twelve years old, most likely older._

_‘What a waste,’_ his Doctor lamented.

 _Yeah,_ Jack agreed. _It’s good stuff._

_‘Wasn’t talking about the whiskey.’_

“Thought I told you to shut the hell up,” Jack slurred.

With a full bottle of Glenmorangie, he returned to his desk and started to fast forward the CCTV feed again. The whiskey burned more than the brandy.

_There!_

There he was, the Doctor, slouching in a chair opposite Yvonne Hartman. Their conversation was interrupted and Yvonne jumped up, demanding to know why they were going into ghost shift. A moment later, the video ended.

“No…” Jack groaned.

This time, he did not bother to pour a drink and lifted the bottleinstead. Taking two big gulps was a mistake and he coughed violently. A second later, he was choking, liquid shooting back up into his throat and he clapped a hand over his mouth to keep himself from spewing. Reflexively, he tried to gulp it down again as he frantically turned to the bin. He managed to keep the liquor in but felt even more horrible now.

 _‘Maybe now would be a good time to switch to tea, Jack,’_ his Doctor’s voice admonished gently.

 _Play naïve all you want,_ Jack thought back at him as he reached for the bottle desperately, clinging to it like a drowning man, and drinking again to make the ghost of his past go away. _You know very well what I’m trying to do, and it’s your fault!_

When the voice did not respond, he spoke aloud.

“I said, it’s your fault!”

_He waited a moment, but still got no answer. The Doctor had left him. Again._

“Coward,” Jack grumbled, and gulped some more whiskey.

_You didn’t care when you left me behind on that damn game station! Leaving me in this… state. What did you do to me? Turning me into an abomination!_ _First I thought coming back was my curse, but, no! The worst part is knowing that I haven’t changed, haven’t learned, that I’m still the same selfish jerk you met all those years ago, and if Ydris were here and willing, I’d use him all over again._

A burp escaped him, rolling and rumbling over his lips in a long flow of noises.

‘Now that’s attractive,’ came the dry comment in his mind.

“Bugger off,” Jack muttered, took another slug of whiskey, and belched again, just for spite.

_Is this_ _your way of punishing me? I knew you had a wicked sense of humour but this is just cruel, making me believe I could be so much more, bigger on the inside, you called it, and then cursing me with more than enough time to realize and regret all the bad things I’ve ever done… generally being a terrible person… you knew and you… did **this**!_

He drank again, long and deep.

“Bastard!” he whispered fiercely, and he was not sure anymore whether he was still talking to his Doctor or to himself.

“Hey, who are you talking to?”

Startled, Jack put the bottle down. His slightly unsteady gaze turned to the hole in the office floor where Ydris climbed off the ladder.

“No one,” he slurred. Judging by the younger man’s shocked expression he must be more drunk than he thought. “What do _you_ want?”

“Nothing,” Ydris said. “I… just woke up and heard you up here. Thought I’d check what you’re doing.”

Jack sneered. “And you got fully dressed just to do that?” When he left his lover, he was in bed, naked. Who gave him permission to get up and leave when Jack wanted to screw him so hard that he forgot his own name? He should get up and tear off the Welshman’s clothes.

“No, I’m hungry,” Ydris replied, unapologetically. “I wanted to get us something to eat.” Eyeing Jack closely, he added, “Looks like you need a hearty meal.”

“You don’t have to tell me what I need!” Jack barked. “What gives you that idea?”

“Just friendly advice.”

At that, Jack shot up from his seat and the crystal tumbler that was in his reach flew past Ydris to shatter on the wall. “I don’t need your advice! Leave me alone!”

The young man was about to argue but thought better of it. Grabbing his jacket from the coat rack, he wordlessly left the office and the Hub.

Jack watched him go and never thought to call him back. In his leaving, Ydris had given him the answer that the voice in his mind could not.

With a groan, Jack plonked back down in his chair. Not without grabbing the bottle, though. It would bring him oblivion, at least for a short while.

 

tbc…


	6. Tense conversations

The horrible stench assaulting his nose was the first thing Jack noticed when he woke on the concrete floor of his office. Lifting his head was an effort as was opening his eyes. Seeing the mess he made did not help his sour mood. Suspecting that he had died choking on his own vomit almost turned his stomach again. It was just as likely as simply waking up after an exhausted sleep and he could not rule it out. Slowly memory returned and he fought to get up.

“Ydris?” he called, stumbling over to the hole leading to his room.

No answer was forthcoming. Scowling, Jack tried to recall if he just imagined the young man’s company. No, they had cleaned up together and Ydris stayed after the team had left. They had awe-inspiring sex. Then his memory became foggy.

_I went to watch CCTV after he fell asleep._

Flashbacks of the night hit him, making Jack search for the bottle. Finding it empty, he tossed it aside, his feeble motion just sending the sturdy glass rolling and clonking against the wall. Searching for more alcohol, Jack crawled to his desk, but the bottles he found there were empty as well. Groaning, he sagged on the floor, feeling thoroughly miserable. A single thought of the Doctor was enough now to push him over the edge and he started to cry.

A soft touch against his forehead startled him.

“Yvonne!”

The calico cat snuggled up against him and let him pet her. Whenever his desperate caresses went too far, she meowed and squirmed, once she had to claw at Jack to keep him in line, but she never went away.

Jack was terribly grateful to her for that.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he murmured into her fur. “I’m a pain to live with.”

Purring in response, she squirmed into a comfortable position and stayed there while he caressed her stomach.

Thinking he heard it growl, Jack asked, “Are you hungry, sweetie? Wait, I’ll get you something.”

Caring for the wellbeing of the cat who claimed him as her human put the mess he made into a new perspective. Disgusted by himself, Jack went to get bucket and mop. While he cleaned up, he reflected on last night’s demons, his conversation with the Brigadier, and the events surrounding the Cyberinvasion. The fact that he had missed the Doctor still lay like a rock in his stomach, making him ache from the inside out.

 _But there’ve also been good things,_ he realized. _As Alistair’s said, I’m free, and he’s also right with his assessment of what’s expected from me._

He had thought that he came to grips with it, but waking in his own puke taught him differently and he suspected that it would take some time to get really used to the idea of taking over the leadership of Torchwood.

_There’s no way I’m going to rebuild One like it was. I’d sooner close it for good. I’ll have my hands full with just Three and Two, even though Archie’s not actually difficult, just weird in some ways. Yeah, Torchwood should be much smaller. We should have only as many agents as are needed to guard the Rift._

That thought confronted him with a problem he had racked his mind over before: How many agents did they need to properly guard the Rift? Recent events had shown that it was really, really hard with just the four of them. True, Suzie, Toshiko, and Owen were brilliant, loyal, and courageous, but they were only three people. Jack knew there had been situations before where they could have done with some support, and the Rift going volatile after the Cyberinvasion was just another example. They had been lucky to get through everything relatively unscathed, but the truth was that Jack should rethink his _no job vacancies_ routine.

 _Toshiko said Ydris would be an asset,_ he recalled. _I didn’t even give it a second thought. Yes, I like having him around, but that doesn’t mean that I should hire him. Maybe I should have a look at his CV._

Thinking of Ydris made Jack aware that he had chased the young man away.

_He probably won’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. No surprise there if I’m being such a bastard._

As he went through the main Hub to the tunnel leading to the bathrooms, Jack noticed how empty the base was. Due to his insistence, the team stayed at home, having the weekend off as he had ordered.

_And Ydris won’t come back. Heck, even if he would he couldn’t get in._

With a sigh, Jack continued to the bathroom to take a scalding shower, but even when the hot water was streaming down his body, he was still shivering. His legs felt wobbly and he sank down on the tiled floor. There he sat, hugging his legs to his chest, the hot stream of water drowning out his sobs.

 

xXx

 

When he woke up, Ianto felt surprisingly rested. Only when he stood under the shower and the hot water was streaming down on him, the latest events caught up on him and sent shivers down his spine. Gasping for breath, he leaned against the wall. He needed a moment to compose himself before he was able to wash off the shower gel and could turn the water off. Climbing out of the shower, he reached for a big towel and dried himself off.

Returning to the other room to find himself fresh clothes, Ianto found someone snoring on the sofa.

“Owen?”

Grunting, the medic rolled over.

“Owen, what are you doing here?” Ianto prodded, nudging the doctor’s shoulder. “C’mon! Wake up!”

“Wha…?”

“What… are you doing here?” Ianto repeated.

Squinting up at the Welshman, Owen grunted, “What did I do to earn this sight right after waking?”

Becoming conscious of his nakedness, Ianto grimaced. “You didn’t answer my question, Owen. What are you doing here?”

“Sleeping. Well, I _was_ sleeping anyway,” the medic groaned. “You weren’t in good shape last night, so I stayed over to make sure you’ll be all right.”

“I told you before, I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Hey, I just kept you company!” Owen complained.

Still scowling deeply, Ianto decided to stop arguing as neither of them could win.

“How late is it anyway?” Owen whined.

Checking his watch, Ianto replied, “About half past ten.”

Groaning, the medic rolled onto the other side.

“Hey, we already slept in,” Ianto smirked and grabbed some underwear. “You should get up.”

“Too early for a Saturday,” Owen grunted.

“It’s almost noon.”

Craning his neck as he did not want to move, Owen grimaced at the Welshman. “You know all that shit about the early bird gets the worm?”  
  “Yeah. What about it?”  
  “You can have my share. I don’t fancy worms for breakfast.”

“And I don’t fancy a slugabed occupying my sofa,” Ianto teased as he put on his jeans. “C’mon! Get up!”

“Hey! Don’t push! I’m sensitive.”

At that, Ianto laughed out loud. “Stop kidding and get up!”

Finally, Owen swung his legs over the edge of the sofa where he sat for a moment, slumped, ruffling his hair. Blinking a few times, he focused on Ianto who was fully dressed now in jeans and a casual dress shirt, and putting on his trainers.

“What are you up to?” the medic queried.

“Organizing things,” Ianto told him evasively. Mostly because he was not certain yet what he wanted to sort and how.

“Oh?” Owen stretched his stiff muscles. “Thought we could have a lazy day. We have the weekend off after all.”

“Go ahead if you like,” Ianto shrugged. “Just don’t do it on my sofa.”

“ _Your_ sofa?”

“For as long as I’m renting this room… yes, it’s _my_ sofa. Now get up!”

Realizing that the Welshman was serious, Owen finally stood and padded to the bathroom. When he returned a few minutes later, Ianto was reclining on the sofa, engrossed in a book.

“Thought you were against a lazy day,” Owen teased.

“Just killing time,” Ianto murmured without looking up from his reading.

Pushing against the book in Ianto’s hands to get a better view, Owen glanced at the title.

“ _Live and let die_ ,” he chuckled. “I should’ve known. Why aren’t you with MI6 if you love Bond so much?”

“Too much excitement.”

Laughing heartily at the Welshman’s wry humour, Owen remarked, “You’re right, Ianto. Compared with the MI6, Torchwood is horribly boring.”

“It’s not that funny,” Ianto spat.

“Hey, you started it.”

“No, I was just reading a novel.” Putting the book forcefully down, Ianto got up. “I’d like to have some space, Owen. Please, leave me alone.”

“I don’t think that…”

“Right,” Ianto cut him short. “Don’t bother. Just go home, okay?”

“Look, I’m just trying to support you, mate.”

“Fine, then support my independence, please.” Pointing at the door, he added, “Out! Now!”

“You don’t have to get abusive,” Owen snarled.

Rummaging through his pockets for a pen, he found a stubby pencil instead and scrawled his number on a box flap.

“I’ll go, but you call me this evening between five and eight,” he said. “You’re still Torchwood, so I’m, still your doctor, and as far as I’m concerned, I haven’t released you from my care, got it?”

“Understood,” Ianto bit out. “Now please, go.”

Grudgingly, Owen grabbed his jacket and left.

As soon as the door fell shut behind the doctor, Ianto sank heavily onto the sofa. He was on his own. Exactly as he wanted to be. Now he just had to figure out what he wanted to do with his liberty.

 

xXx

 

Once he regained his equilibrium, Jack busied himself with unloading the truck. The magna clamps served him well for that task whenever an artefact did not fit into the cart. Still he wheeled down to the archives numerous times as well before he decided to take a break. Returning a last time to the lorry, Jack gathered the box with the little coral. Just when he entered his office, the telephone rang and he put the box on the tabletop before he picked up the receiver.

“Alistair!” Jack said with honest pleasure at hearing the Brigadier’s voice. Of course, he knew that the conversation had the potential to become unpleasant, so he was glad that it was not Mace who was on the phone. Suppressing a chuckle at his memories of the Brigadiercalling the Colonel a prat, Jack cordially asked, “What can I do for you?”

“The better question would be what can _I_ do for _you_ ,” the Brigadier replied. “So far we could identify thirty-two of the bodies we have recovered. The two you’ve asked about are among them.”

“Thank you,” Jack managed to rasp. Suddenly his mouth was dry. “How many victims did you find in the end?”

“Inside the tower one hundred and seventy-three dead were found. Twenty-seven partially converted victims were euthanized. Forty-three escaped and were kept at the Millennium Dome until your agents took care of assuring the discretion of the thirty-nine civilians.”

Jack could not help his chuckle.

“The four remaining Torchwood agents are currently residing at our headquarters,” the Brigadier continued, his tone becoming more serious. “We should meet and discuss further actions, Jack. You’ll have to make some decisions. Your agents can’t stay in our custody indefinitely. You’re in charge of them, Jack.”

Unfortunately the Brigadier was right. Jack felt the responsibility weigh heavily on his shoulders. The problem was that he did not want to have anything to do with Torchwood One. He desperately wished he could refuse the legacy.

“Jack? Are you still there?”

“Listening to you,” he flatly said.

Of course, the Brigadier picked up on the lack of enthusiasm. “I can’t tell you what to do, Jack. All I can do is encourage you. I know you’re capable of leading the Institute. I’m just waiting to see you do it.” As a snort was his sole reply, he went on, “How can we help, Jack? The identified victims who can be released for the funeral will have to be prepared. We can do that for you and help you organize the ceremony. Is there a special honours service that you do when one of your own dies in the line of duty?”

Confused, Jack had to think for a moment before he told him, “There are no special honours. If someone dies in service and his death is suspected to be due to alien causes it is customary at Torchwood to store the body and all of his possession are to be impounded by the Institute until the cause of death is determined and any potential threat to the planet assessed and eliminated.” For just a second, Jack realized how indifferent and callous he sounded but explained nevertheless, “Once the body can be released it will be incinerated.”

When he paused, the line remained silent.

“I don’t know what to say to that, Jack. I can’t judge you because I know you didn’t make the policy. I don’t know how your people deal with death, so I don’t know what you might think of it, but you’ve lived here long enough to know the kinds of things we usually do. Do you want to change things?”

“I... Yes, I do, but I can’t think about it, I can’t cope with it right now, Alistair,” Jack stammered. “It’s all I can manage to clean up the sheer physical mess in my facility at the moment. You say you can’t tell me what to do, but that’s exactly what I need! I’m lost here! I’m drowning, and if you aren’t going to bail me out, then _please_ , just leave me alone for a while!”

“You’re not alone, Jack, and if you were, I never would have sent you back to Cardiff by yourself,” the Brigadier reminded him. “You have the team that came with you to London, and you might find the Torchwood survivors we have here to be helpful.  UNIT can keep the bodies in cold storage for a couple of weeks, give you time to get your feet under you again. You might consider contacting Sarah Jane Smith to write a funeral service that is both relevant to Torchwood and vague enough to be suitable for civilian friends and family. Unless you have anything else you need to discuss with me, I think I should say goodbye now.”

Jack sighed. “I’m sorry, Alistair,” he said.

“You don’t need to apologize, my boy,” the Brig sounded infinitely understanding. “But do give some thought to what you want to do with your Torchwood survivors here. I’m going to call you back in exactly forty-eight hours, and if you don’t take my call, I’m coming to Cardiff myself.”

“What state are the survivors in?” Jack asked.

“Those we kept at the Dome were not wounded or had only minor injuries. Your agents are in good condition. There were… twenty-three more who were taken to hospital,” the Brigadier read from his notes. “Two of them did not pull through, five others are in critical condition…”

“What is it, Alistair?” Jack prodded when his friend trailed off.

“This report doesn’t contain the information if any of the more severely injured belong to your personnel,” the Brigadier explained. “I will check on that and let you know when we talk again.”

“Thank you,” Jack all but sighed. “Um… I’ll take care of making room in the budget to help cover the… final expenses.” He paused before he hesitantly asked, “Who will you appoint to arrange the funerals?

After only a moment’s hesitation the Brigadier firmly replied, “Anyone but Colonel Mace… who has more important things to do anyway.”

Jack could hear amusement lace the latter words and smiled.

“Thank you, Alistair.”

“You’re welcome, Jack. We’ll talk in forty-eight hours.”

“Yes, sir,” Jack playfully agreed. He could almost hear the Brigadier’s smile before the call disconnected. For a moment, he just sat and let the conversation sink in. There was so much to consider and he was not sure if he could handle it all.

_I should ask Suzie to take care of the budget. She’s good at that stuff. And maybe Ianto could help me to get a grip on One’s customs. I should do… something. No idea yet what that should be. I won’t take any of the employees over, though. They’ve got One’s philosophy too ingrained in their systems. I don’t want them to poison the atmosphere here._

By extension that made him think about Ianto’s possible future.

_I can tell that Ianto Jones is different. He was a big help and proved to be trustworthy. Aside from that I still think he’s gorgeous. He’s no easy prey, though, and Owen seems to be perfectly right when he says that the Welsh boy is looking right through me where my amorous intentions are concerned._

He chuckled.

_I’ll put the next week to good use with courting and then we’ll see. I could imagine offering Ianto a permanent position here but I should wait and see how things develop. At One, right after the invasion, we all were in a unique situation. I need to watch closely how the team gets along on the daily routine._

The part of him that found Ianto Jones terribly attractive hoped that they worked together well on an everyday basis, too. But even then, he had to give the man enough leeway to make his own decision. Maybe he did not want to stay. Jack thought that that would be a horrible waste of talent, but he intended not to stand in his way if he actually chose to leave Torchwood for good.

Musing about those things, Jack got up and opened the box on his desk.

_Now, where’s the best place for you?_

Lovingly, he looked at the coral in the paper padding he had made to protect it on the ride to Cardiff.

“Right on my desk would be fine,” he thought out loud and was about to lift the coral out of its bed when the phone rang again. With a sigh, Jack dropped back into his chair and grabbed the receiver. Back to business.

“Harkness.”

 

tbc…

 


	7. Spontaneous decisions

“Jones,” Ianto said reflexively when Jack answered his call.

“Jones who?” the captain asked only to add with joyful recognition, “Ianto! What’s up?”

“I’m on my way to London, sir,” Ianto told him and could have sworn he heard his boss gasp. “Just wanted to let you know.”

“I thought you’d stay,” Jack replied, sounding crestfallen.

“I’ll be back tomorrow night,” Ianto explained. “I just… need to sort some things.”

“All right,” Jack agreed with obvious relief.

There was a pause, but Ianto was pretty certain that there was more to come, so he waited.

“Ianto…”

“Yes, sir?”

“UNIT informed me that they identified Lisa and Virginia. They will remain with UNIT until they can be released for funeral. Do you want to make the arrangements?”

Ianto did not need to think long about that. “Yes, sir. Who’s my contact at UNIT?”

“To my knowledge nobody was appointed yet. I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”

“All right, sir. Anything else?”

“Well…” another pause followed, “there’s something I’d like you to think about.”

“Which is?”

“Can you imagine helping me with handling the survivors?”

Stunned, Ianto muttered, “Like doing what?”

“You said all personnel would report in after the crisis. Then there are the survivors who escaped the tower, like Carlie. When I know what will become of One, I’ll have to deal with them. I’d like to make you… the interim director of personnel… or something like that.”

This time, Ianto could not answer at once.

“I hope I’m not asking too much, Ianto. Will you think about it?” Jack asked hopefully.

Ianto really was not sure if he could handle the other survivors, but he knew that someone had to wrap up everything that was One and he could imagine that the extra workload would put a strain on the small team at Three. Now Jack had not downright ordered but asked himpolitely. He could at least give it some thought so he finally said, “Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you, Ianto.”

The Welshman could not help but think that the captain sounded relieved but also somewhat anxious so he felt compelled to ask, “Is everything all right, sir?”

After a short pause, Jack claimed, “Yes. Yes, I’m fine. The Hub’s almost recognizable as such as well. Now if the Rift will stay calm for a bit everything will be okay.”

“Good,” Ianto said. “I’ll see you on Monday morning then, sir.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing you,” Jack replied and sounded a little more cheerful at the prospect. “Maybe I can invite you for a drink later?”

“That would hardly be appropriate, sir.”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a drink together,” Jack huffed and Ianto could clearly hear the pout in it. “Are my odds for a date with you really so low?”

“About fifteen percent, sir,” Ianto told him matter of factly. “But I don’t think that I’ll have time to go anywhere but the Hub anyway, if I’m going to agree to be your interim director of personnel.”

“That almost sounds like a yes to me.”

“It means that I’m taking it into consideration,” Ianto curbed Jack’s enthusiasm. “Besides, I don’t have an overview yet of how many artefacts will have to be integrated into your archives. I assume that I’ll be rather busy on Monday.”

“Well…” Jack drawled in a seductive tone, “as I’m your boss I could order you to stop working.”

“Which would be unfair toward the rest of the team,” Ianto stated without showing any reaction to the subtext. “Is there anything else, sir?”

“No,” Jack had to admit.

“All right. Until Monday, sir.”

“Bye, Ianto.”

Quickly, Ianto disconnected the call. He did not like the sad note in Jack’s voice that he could just interpret as neediness. It made him uncomfortable. He hardly knew the man and still there seemed to be a connection between them that he could not explain. The way Jack reacted to it, taking it as an encouragement to pursue his courting, gave him the creeps.

His gaze drifted out of the window just when the train crossed the bridge over the Severn. The day was cold and cloudy and Ianto was glad that he did not have to drive himself. Which reminded him that he needed to get a new driving license as the old one was destroyed along with his clothes by the conversion unit.

_Hope I’ll get an opportunity on Monday._

With a sigh, he returned his attention to the landscape. Crossing the Severn, the train had left Wales and took him further away from Newport. Which was why Ianto was on this train in the first place. He honestly had wanted to go and see his sister, but when he approached Newport, his resolve crumbled. His anxiety got the better of him and he chickened out, climbing back on a train instead.

Right now, he was looking forward to returning to his flat but he feared that his mood could switch again. It was pretty erratic lately, ranging from the top of the world to the depths ofdespair. It unsettled him to say the least. Knowing that those mood swings were an after effect of his ordeal and part of his grieving did not help as long as that knowledge did not provide a solution to the problem.

Ianto suspected that his edginess was one more reason why he did not go to see his sister as planned. He simply did not think that he could deal with her on top of everything else. She would ask about Lisa, about his job, about the attack, about how he escaped, about his new colleagues… and he would not be able to talk to her about any of it without lying. That would make their conversation rather awkward and Ianto did not believe himself to be capable of having an awkward talk with Rhiannon right now. Their relationship was strained as it was. He did not need further complications like an alien invasion to put further stress on it.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Ianto tried to imagine what he would have to do as an interim director of personnel. Of course, he needed to find out who survived but that was one of their priorities anyway. He was not under the impression that Jack planned to rebuild One or to transfer any personnel to Cardiff. So the question was how they would leave Torchwood, which left Ianto with the idea that Jack might insist on retconning them all, stealing their memories of serving Torchwood. He knew that he would not participate in that.

Mulling over those questions, he kept staring out of the window. It started to rain. The steady rhythm of the patter against the glass and the rumbling of the train lulled Ianto to sleep.

 

xXx

 

Ianto’s call left Jack with mixed emotions. His first impulse was to be disappointed, but as he thought about what Ianto had said, he felt a new surge of enthusiasm. The Welshman did decline his offer, but he had not downright said no. To Jack anything less meant that he still was part of the game. With fifteen percent his chances were slim but still existent. He would work on his charm and improve his odds.

His intention to better himself made Jack aware that he had more issues to solve. Taking a pen and paper, he started to make a list. When he paused to read what he had written, he had eight items on his list. Not all of them could be addressed immediately, but others he could tackle right now. He picked up the phone and dialled. Ydris answered after the fifth ring but reacted rather coldly when he heard that Jack was on the phone.

“Please listen to me for a minute,” Jack said.

“I would’ve hung up already if I wasn’t willing to hear you out, Jack,” Ydris declared. “I’m listening.”

“I wasn’t in good shape this morning,” Jack explained. “I’m sorry.”

The line remained silent.

“Ydris, you know I’m different. I… had a lot to deal with. Still have.”

“You were drunk,” Ydris scoffed. “And you were a mean drunk.”

“Yes.”

Jack waited. It was not his style to go into any details. Ydris either accepted his scarce apology or not.

“Hope it’s not a habit with you,” Ydris responded. His tone, while not forgiving, was at least more receptive.

“It’s not,” Jack said. “I promise.”

“All right, then, what do you want?”

Jack breathed a silent sigh of relief. “I was wondering if your offer to repair the windows of my office still stands.”

“Yes.”

Inwardly, Jack cheered at Ydris’s readiness to help and he coyly remarked, “Good, they’re really in bad shape.”

Willingly, Ydris took the bait, “The windows or you?”

“When can you be here?” Jack asked.

“I’ll come over when I’m finished here. Might be an hour.”

“I’ll wait at the water tower,” Jack told him before they ended the call.

Next on Jack’s list was a construction company who could close the hole in the roof. As Jack claimed the matter to be urgent and offered extra compensation the construction foreman agreed to come in about an hour and look at the damage.

Satisfied, Jack sat back in his executive chair and had another look at his list:

_Call Ydris… check._

_Find a construction company that will repair the roof… check._

_The Tasmanian tigers… are going to be taken care of by Ianto and Ydris. Maybe I should check on them before I meet the construction foreman._

_The broken windows… will be repaired by Ydris, so check._

_The survivors in London… will have to wait until Ianto decides if he wants to help._

_Make sure that the dead will have a proper funeral… check. Thank you, Alistair_

_The addresses Ianto mentioned… can wait as well. They’re not running away._

_Decide about One’s future… almost check. I don’t want to rebuild it after all. Three will become the chief branch of Torchwood, under my command. I will determine if, when, and how it will grow, change or develop and what personnel will be hired. It just will have to be made official._

Of course there were still a number of small things that he did not think of or that did not even come up yet. He would wait and see what else the invasion might entail. As there was still time until he would meet the construction foreman, Jack went to see how the Tasmanian tigers were doing. He fed the mother some meat so she had enough energy to care for her young. While he watched, the pups crawled up to her and began to drink which made him smile. A few minutes later, he tore himself off the sight and returned to the main Hub.

“Hey, Yvonne,” he murmured when the calico cat crossed his path. “Are you hungry? I got you something, right?” When he went over to check, she padded along. “Did you eat? What can I do for you?”

Returning to his office, he found her bowl still half-filled. She sat beside him now but she did not seem to be interested in more food.

“Well, keep it for later then,” Jack murmured. The cat head butted his shin in order to catch his attention and rubbed her cheek against the inside of his knee. Jack chuckled when she walked around and between his legs in a tight figure of eight, brushing his trousers. “I’m sorry, love,” he said as he leaned down to pet her. “I’ve gotta go. We’ll cuddle later, all right?”

Taking a deep breath, he straightened back up and marched to the invisible lift to get up to the Plass.

 

xXx

 

Ianto woke a few miles before his train arrived in London. With a sigh, he stretched his stiff limbs. It was still raining, dark clouds grazing the highest buildings of the city. The weather reflected Ianto’s mood, or maybe he drifted deeper into depression because everything looked grey in grey. When he finally climbed off the train, he felt sore and rather dragged himself to the underground.

To his own surprise, he went into the opposite direction. He emerged from the depths of the tube at Canada Square and slowly walked to the cordon UNIT had drawn around Torchwood Tower.

_What am I doing here? For God’s sake, I should be home now. There are things to pack and I should get Lisa’s things in order_ _for her family_ _._

The moment he thought that, he felt grief tightening his chest. It was still fresh and more painful than he had thought. Gasping for breath, he looked around for a place to sit down or something to lean against. The only thing in reach was one of the metal barriers. Supporting himself on it with both hands, he fought for his composure. His gaze drifted up the tower which made him slightly nauseous.

“Ianto?”

Confused, the Welshman focused on his surroundings and the UNIT soldier who approached him.

“Dennis!” Ianto greeted with honest joy at seeing the man again who had supported him and Owen while he was stuck in the conversion unit. “You’re still on duty?”

“Again,” Dennis sighed. “There’s still a lot to do in the tower.”

“Yeah…”

Thoughtfully, Ianto looked back to the tall building. Its nearly undamaged façade masked the destruction inside. All the horrors he had seen were hidden away from the public. As so often, the people would be told that terrorists were responsible for the attack and they would believe it. Ianto remembered a time when he had been one of them. Now he would not be that easily deceived anymore. Not after working for Torchwood. Not after what he had witnessed and lived through.

“I’m glad to see you’re doing all right,” Dennis said. “Can I help you somehow?”

“Actually I’m not sure why I came,” Ianto admitted. “I guess I had to see it again.”

“To find closure…” Dennis murmured.

“Probably.” Ianto bit his bottom lip. “I was informed that you found my fiancé. Captain Harkness told me that I should contact UNIT in order to organize the funeral.”

“Who’s coordinating those efforts?”

“I don’t know who’s responsible,” Ianto said. “I’m really not sure what I’m doing here.” Suddenly, he realized that he should ask about who was running the morgue as well but figured that he could address that matter when they were arranging the service. He had no chance to say goodbye so he wanted to see Lisa again before she was cremated.

“I could ask Colonel Mace and get you the contact information,” Dennis suggested. “Would that help?”

“Sure,” Ianto agreed. “Shall I wait here or…?” He was not sure about what to do as he neither was here with the team nor did he have an official order. He spontaneously rode to his old workplace and now he stood here and was clueless.

“Come on through,” Dennis said. “You’re Torchwood after all.” He held up the plastic cordon and Ianto ducked under it in order to follow the soldier to the command tent. There, Dennis gestured him to wait.

A few minutes passed until the UNIT soldier showed up again and invited Ianto inside. Among the soldiers, Ianto felt strangely nervous. He was not sure what he should say if he was asked about Torchwood’s mission the other day. It would be the best not to say anything.

“All right,” Dennis startled him out of his musings. “Here is Major Billingham’s contact information.”

“Thank you,” Ianto said and pocketed the slip of paper Dennis gave him. “I just thought of something else.”

“What is it?”

“When we were in creature containment I discovered a small group of individuals, harmless little mammals,” Ianto explained. “Captain Harkness claimed they had no room to take them in at Three, but I’d hate to see them suffer because everyone’s too busy to take proper care of them. I’d like to see to them getting a nice and adequate new home.”

“You want to arrange that?”

“Yeah.”

Dennis nodded thoughtfully. “We should talk with Colonel Mace about it.”

Hearing that, Ianto sighed. After what little he had heard about the colonel and the short confrontation between him and Suzie that he had witnessed, he was not under the impression that Mace was likely to cooperate. Having no other choice, Ianto agreed.

 

tbc…


	8. First morning meeting

Monday morning found Ianto Jones nervously straightening his tie for the umpteenth time. He did not even know why he was anxious as he had worked with the team already, but he could not shake off his tension.

_It feels like a new job because everything **is** new. The office. The colleagues. The boss._

At the latter, Ianto’s thoughts stumbled. When they went to help with the cleanup at the Hub on Friday, it had felt like comrades getting together to work on their club house, not like co-workers restoring the base of a secret organization. Jack had bantered with them and threw in the occasional tease orwitticism. They had worked on the same level then, but Ianto felt thatthat was not appropriate. At Torchwood One, they had been in a state of emergency and on Friday night they had still been confronted with exceptional circumstances. Now this was a regular workday and Ianto did not intend to jeopardize anything by acting unprofessional.

Despite his anxiety, Ianto was looking forward to his new task.

 _Stage fright is part of it,_ the Welshman told himself. _That’s perfectly normal!_

He already had things to report. One of his achievements, he would not mention, though. His gaze drifted to the big cage in the corner of his bedsit. It had given him trouble on the train, even though he had used a luggage cart. The noises coming from inside the covered cage had attracted attention and he could not allow anyone to see his treasure. Aside from that, he also had brought another suitcase and his laptop in its bag. In the end, he had had to take a taxi from the station to the bay to transport it all.

“Sorry, kids, but you’ll have to stay here until I find a better place for you,” Ianto purred as he bent down to the cage. “Do you need something? More food?” He smirked at the antics of the bustling little creatures. Right now, he counted only twelve, but there had to be fifteen. The other three probably sat in the nest that they had built on their way to Cardiff and now filled one corner of the cage.

Actually, Ianto thought that there should have been more as he vividly recalled how they had swarmed Jack, but UNIT only caught fifteen of them. Maybe the others were still hiding in the pipes and shafts of the Secure Archives. Ianto hoped that they found a way to survive and would not be killed when UNIT was finished with the Archives and sealed them off.

Pushing a couple of salad leaves through the bars, Ianto said, “Bye, kids. I’ll be back at lunchtime.”

A last time, he smiled at the spidermice, as he decided to call them, before he took his coat and went to work. The walk was good to catch some fresh air before he spent most of his day under ground. Ianto enjoyed the salty touch and the breeze coming in from the bay. He went down the stairs to the boardwalk where he stopped for a moment to take in the view.

“Morning, Ianto.”

Turning around, he discovered Toshiko strolling down the boardwalk toward him. “Good morning.”

The computer expert eyed him curiously and appreciatively. A smile grazed her features.

“You’re looking good,” she stated as she reached for the panel beside the door. “The tie’s swish.”

Ianto smiled somewhat sheepishly.

As he followed her inside, Toshiko carefully asked, “How do you feel?”

“A little nervous, actually,” Ianto admitted and shrugged at her obvious surprise. “First day in a new job.”

“You’re hardly new, Ianto.”

“I’m new here,” he said. “And this is my first regular workday.”

“Well, if you put it like that…”

Toshiko opened the secret passageway and they rode down with the elevator.

“Did Jack already give you a tour of the Hub?” Toshiko asked.

“Well, I’ve seen a lot of it, but no, he didn’t take me on a tour.”

“Guess he’ll do it after our morning meeting then,” Toshiko stated as they went up to the gantry.

“When is the morning meeting?” Ianto queried, expecting to be told a concrete time.

“Well, that depends,” Toshiko shrugged. “We’ll meet as soon as everyone’s in.”

“Okay…”

Somewhat awkwardly, Ianto stood beside her workstation as she sat down. He did not know what to do with himself as long as he could not work on his assignment. Looking around, he took in the good work the others did during the weekend. All of the workstations were set up again and the windows of Jack’s office had been replaced. His gaze drifted up to the ceiling. The hole beside the invisible lift was gone as well.

An appreciative whistle turned his attention back to Jack’s office where the captain just stepped through the door. Unashamedly, Jack ogled the Welshman.

“I _love_ that suit,” the captain praised. His hands pushed into his trouser pockets, he approached Ianto and took in the details. “And I love that tie. Red definitely is your colour.”

“Th-thank you, sir,” Ianto muttered even though he was uncertain about how to take the compliments.

“Still, we don’t have such a strict dress code here,” Jack shrugged. Then he offered Ianto a lecherous grin. “Though, you can dress up like this whenever you like.”

“I didn’t wear this suit for you, _sir_ ,” Ianto remarked wryly.

“I know,” Jack smirked and quirked one eyebrow at him. “I can still enjoy the view.”

Ianto rolled his eyes. The captain really could not help himself.

“Ianto, I’d like to show you the Hub before the others come in,” Jack said.

“Fine,” the Welshman agreed.

First, Jack explained the most important features in the main Hub to Ianto before they had a quick look at the armoury. When they entered the first tunnel, Ianto took care to stay slightly behind Jack as he did not want to encourage him. Given the stories Owen had told him, he suspected that Jack especially favoured the darker parts of the maze like vaults.

“And these are the archives,” Jack declared as he opened the door with a flourish, stepping in and making room for Ianto.

The Welshman just had a glance at the shelves and the boxes piled beside the desk and computer near the entrance and had to withstand the urge to walk backwards out of the room.

“Ianto, I’m sorry.”

Irritated, Ianto shook his rigour off and returned his attention to Jack. “What do you mean?”

“If I was being too forward,” Jack told him a bit sheepishly. “I don’t want to pretend not to be interested in you as I am. I’m sorry if I overstepped some boundaries, though.”

“You didn’t,” Ianto assured him.

“Sure? I know I’m quite forward. I… don’t want to push too much seeing, well, that… after Canary Wharf.”

Ianto had to admit that he was stunned. Not by Jack’s obvious sympathy, he knew the captain was capable of deep compassion, but by him apologizing for his boldness. That certainly was an unusual feat for him and Ianto could understand why he led him down to the archives to do it. He wanted to offer him reassurance without encouraging him.

Choosing a stern tone, he finally said, “If you did something objectionable I would have objected. You’ll _know_ when you’re being too forward.”

Jack released a breath of relief but he recovered quickly and beamed at Ianto with refreshed enthusiasm.

“Some flirting would be all right then?” he prodded. “I won’t be able to help myself.”

“I’m grown,” Ianto huffed. “I can take a little flirting. You _will_ know when you overdo it.”

  “Fine,” Jack agreed and in order to test what would happen he casually added, “Unless there’s _anything_ else I could offer for comfort..."

  It was all Ianto could do not to gape at the captain. Still, his eyes grew wide and he drew in a long calming breath. The enticing scene that filled his imagination appealed to him, even though he knew that it was wrong.

  “No…” Ianto trailed off disapprovingly, “but thank you for offering yourself so altruistically.”

  Marvelling at Ianto’s voice, which became even deeper now, Jack inwardly rejoiced at his witticism.

  “Myself?” he queried. “I was thinking some hot chocolate and a massage...”

  At that, Ianto snorted with suppressed amusement.

  “I think I can imagine what kind of _massage_ you have in mind.”

  Now Jack pouted, “I’m not _that_ bad!”

  “So Owen’s just telling tall tales?” Ianto challenged.

  “Well, that depends...” Jack smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

  Amused, Ianto shook his head. “Anyway... thanks for the offer.”

“You’re welcome,” the captain smirked and clapped his hands together. “I see we have a deal! Well, then, the others should be in by now. Let’s get to the meeting.”

 

xXx

 

The team gathered in the boardroom up on the gallery. When Jack and Ianto came in, the others were already there, sipping on Starbucks coffee that Suzie brought with her. Jack sat down at the head of the table while Ianto slid into the chair beside Owen. The medic shoved another cup of coffee to him.

“Thanks,” Ianto murmured.

“All right…” Jack started, folding his hands on the tabletop. “First of all, I’m glad that you’re all in one piece. This was one hell of a fight. We came through it relatively unscathed and that’s not a matter of course. Now, is everything all right at home as well? Your families? Your flats?” Looking around, he saw the others nod. “Good. Thank you for your extraordinary work. Even the Hub’s all cleaned up and operational. Good work.”

Nobody felt compelled to reply in any way. They just waited for Jack to continue.

“Second I want to officially welcome Ianto in Cardiff. I expect you to support him,” he shot a glance at Owen, “all of you.”

“Sure,” Owen grunted. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You know why.”

“Funny,” Owen huffed. “Now, Jack, what about those predators? I’d love to have one for autopsy. You also said we had one of those pepperpot creatures… what are they called again… in our archives?”

“They’re called Daleks,” Jack sternly said. “And no, we don’t have one and you won’t get one.”

“What about the predators?” Owen prodded.

“No. UNIT will keep those.”

“Why? They’re Torchwood property and it would be really interesting to study them.”

“Now they’re UNIT’s property,” Jack coldly told him. “You can study the reports about them later.”

“But why do they get them? I want…”

“I know,” Jack cut him short. “But you won’t get what you want this time.”

“Why?”

“We’ll talk about that later, Owen,” Jack snarled. “Now, I invited Ydris to come in later as he and Ianto wanted to arrange the transport of our Tasmanian tigers. He made a few calls this weekend. You’ll figure out how to get them safely to Australia, right, Ianto?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Jack,” the captain corrected him.

Ianto scowled. It was hard to break with habits. The broad grin on Jack’s face and the obvious amusement of his colleagues irritated him.

Trying to assure him, Jack said, “We’re really not that formal here, kid.”

At that, Ianto’s scowl even darkened. “Well, then you’ll have to get used to it for the course of the next week.”

Jack’s eyebrows shot up. He and everyone else stared at Ianto as if he had grown a second head. Then they laughed goodheartedly.

“Tosh,” Jack turned to his IT expert. “Bring me up to date about the status of the computer system.”

“All stations are set back up and operational,” Toshiko reported lightly as Jack already knew the gist of it. She knew that he just asked to fill everyone else in as well. “The system is restored and I included the new software that Ianto will need for the archives.”

“Good,” Jack said, even though he still was not happy about using part of One’s software. Noticing that Suzie chewed on her bottom lip, he addressed her, “Suzie, do you have something to contribute?”

Slowly lifting her head, she focused on Jack. “I’d just like to know if you plan to bring Ydris in for more than just arranging the tigers’ transport.”

A mischievous smirk cracked Jack’s features as he thought about all the possibilities. Knowing that Suzie meant the purely work related jobs, he replied, “I don’t intend to hire him.”

That seemed to satisfy his second in command who nodded and returned her attention to some notes she took.

“Anything else?” Jack prodded.

“No,” she shook her head. “We already talked about it.”

Following her furtive glance to Ianto, Jack realized that she meant his spontaneous decision to transfer the Welshman for a temporary assignment to Cardiff. She had expected him to tell her about it before he asked Ianto to help with incorporating the artefacts they collected at Torchwood One. Jack understood that it would have been the nice thing to speak with Suzie beforehand, but being the boss, he did not actually see the necessity.

“All right, kids,” he declared. “Now that everything’s up and running you’ll do what you always do and keep an eye on the Rift. I have to go to London in order to meet with Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart. There are some things we need to take care of.”

“Sir, Major Billingham is responsible for the arrangements concerning the deceased,” Ianto threw in. “Sergeant Kastner is in charge of the survivors who are in UNIT’s custody. I’ve already emailed you their contact information.”

Stunned, Jack stared at the Welshman and a broad grin slowly drew up the corners of his mouth. “When did you get in touch with UNIT?”

“When I was in London, sir,” Ianto told him. “I was at Canary Wharf and talked with Colonel Mace and Sergeant Kastner personally.”

“You went back there?” Owen queried incredulously. “Why?”

“Lisa.”

The simple statement as well as his determined expression quickly shut Owen up.

“Well, sir, I first went there as Lisa’s fiancé, but as I figured that I’m acting in your interest, I introduced myself to Sergeant Kastner as your interim director of personnel.”

Jack just beamed at him. “Great. Ianto, you’re brilliant. Did you already agree on anything?”

“No, sir. Sergeant Kastner only had a minute when I was there, so I told him that you’ll contact him.”

“Okay. Will do.” Jack smiled proudly. “Anything else?”

“Well, I asked Colonel Mace what UNIT will do with the surviving creatures like the Blowfish.”

“And…?” Jack asked, sounding slightly suspicious now. At once, he had to think of the loathed spidery mouse things that Ianto seemed to fancy.

“He assured me that they will be taken good care of,” Ianto explained. “Whatever that means in UNIT English.”

Jack could not help but chuckle. Obviously Ianto shared his opinion about UNIT. They were necessary and certainly good for some things, but they also were a pain in the ass.

“Do you have any more surprises?” he smirked.

“No, sir.”

  “Can’t you just call me Jack?” the captain queried with amusement lacing his voice. “You make me feel like I’m one of those old, stiff, frigid officers who have nothing better to do than ordering their subordinates around.”

  “Stiff, I’ll believe,” Owen snorted rudely. “Probably more often than any man has a right to be, but you and frigid don’t even belong in the same sentence.”

  “What’s the matter, Owen?” Suzie teased. “Jealous?”

  “Of what?” Owen asked. “It’s not like we’re competing. He doesn’t go for the same type I do.”

  “Oh, I think blonde and stupid would make Jack just as happy as any…”

  “Anything else?” Jack asked sharply over the inappropriate byplay.

  At first, Suzie thought he was finishing her statement and turned to respond. Then she realized her boss was wrapping up the meeting and joined the others in shaking her head in a negative reply.

  “All right, we’re finished then,” Jack declared. “Owen, a word in private.”

As the others filed out of the conference room, Owen eyed Jack curiously, drumming his fingers onto the tabletop.

“You asked me about the predators for autopsy and I declined your request,” Jack told him without any detour.

“Right,” Owen huffed. “Will you tell me the reason now?”

“What did you do during the weekend?” Jack demanded.

“What?”

“That’s an easy enough question, Owen,” Jack shook his head. “What did you do?”

“Slept in on Saturday. Watched TV. Played video games. Went out in the evening…” He trailed off and a smirk grew as he remembered, “Got laid.”

“And on Sunday?”

“Slept in. Got laid. Slept some more. Played video games.”

Thoughtfully, Jack nodded.

“Would you say that you’re well rested?” Jack queried. Seeing the doctor’s confused expression, he went on, “Because that’s why I gave everyone the weekend off. To rest. Are you rested now, Dr. Harper?”

“I’m fit, Jack,” Owen shrugged. “What are you getting at?”

“I don’t like seeing you use drugs when you’re out in the field, Owen. That’s why I denied you the autopsies. To give you time to think about it.”

“We were in a state of emergency!” Owen frayed. “It’s not like I’m using constantly.”

“I’d prefer you not using at all,” the captain stated sternly. “Give me the pills.”

“I don’t know why you’re upset,” the medic grunted. “We know that they have no late effects. They’re reliable. They’re not dangerous.”

Sadly, Jack listened to Owen defending himself.

“Owen, you’re a doctor. You know what you’re doing to yourself when you use those meds. You’re fooling your body, pretending that it’s fresh and full of energy and when the effect wears off, your whole system crashes. So I ask you again, Owen, what did you do this weekend?”

Biting his bottom lip, Owen squirmed in his seat uncomfortably.

“Owen.”

“Actually, I wanted to distract Ianto,” he finally said. “But he kicked me out so I went home… where I fell asleep watching TV. I woke up Sunday morning.”

“What about last night?” Jack prodded.

“I wasn’t up to much, really,” Owen shrugged. “Played video games, went to bed early.”

“Good,” Jack nodded. “Now give me the pills.”

“I don’t have them on me,” Owen growled. “They’re in the med bay.”

“Well, that’s right on my way,” Jack stated, pushing himself up from his chair. “Let’s go.”

 

xXx

 

Jack had hardly left the Hub when Owen snickered, “All right, ladies, who’s holding the bet that Ianto will stay longer than a week?”

“I don’t bet,” Toshiko declared.

“We all know Jack,” Suzie shrugged. “He already gave Ianto a second assignment, one that won’t be concluded within a week. We sure would lose the bet.”

“Fine,” Owen agreed. “We’ll bet on the number of days then.”

“No, thanks,” Suzie shook her head and returned to the artefact she was working on.

“Tosh?”

The computer expert just rolled her eyes at the medic.

“Okay, then don’t,” Owen grumbled. “Where is he anyway?”

“Ianto went down to the archives,” Toshiko told him. “To work. You know what that is, right?”

“I don’t have any autopsy to conduct right now, as I didn’t get one of those predators.”

“Well, you could always help Ianto,” Toshiko suggested with a sweet smile.

Glowering at her, Owen turned to go to the archives. There he found Ianto at the desk, the computer running already.

“Here you are,” Owen cheered. “I’d like to show you something.”

“I was just about to get a general idea of your… _archives_ ,” Ianto replied. “You took quite a lot from One, so it will take a while to get it all sorted.”

“That can wait,” Owen stated. “Come.”

“What do you want to show me?”

“Wait and see…” Smirking, he took Ianto by the arm and pulled him up. “Now come.”

With a resigned sigh, Ianto followed the medic back to the main Hub and up the stairs. High on the gallery, Owen showed him to their kitchenette.

“So, there it is,” Owen theatrically told him, “our coffee maker. The machine from hell that hates everyone and never produces anything but washing water.”

Curiously, Ianto took in the sight of the big silvery machine. It looked familiar and when he had a closer look, he realized that it was a professional machine that would make any café or pastry shop proud. This one was not the same type as the one atthe coffee shop where he had worked before Torchwood but it was not that different. Actually, he wondered if he had not seen it at Starbucks before.

“And you dragged me here why…?” Ianto queried.

“Well, you said you’re good at making coffee,” Owen shrugged. “You claimed it couldn’t be that bad. Prove it.”

“You want me to make coffee?” Ianto chuckled.

“Yep.”

“Well, I need to have a look at the machine first,” the Welshman told him matter of factly, “See if it works properly and what might be the reason that you can’t get coffee out of it.”

“If you think that helps,” Owen retorted.

“Why shouldn’t it?”

“Because I’ve told you… this machine hates _everyone_ ,” the medic insisted.

“We reap what we sow,” Ianto shrugged.

“All right, former barista,” Owen teased. “You think you can do it better…” he gestured invitingly at the machine, “Be my guest. I’m looking forward to tasting the result.”

Recognizing the serious scepticism in the medic’s words, Ianto grimaced at him and shooed him away. When Owen had reached the gantry again, Ianto turned to the coffee machine. He did not need long to determine a possible reason for the others’ lack of success. Searching the cupboards, he realized that he would not find what he was looking for and decided to get what he needed when he went to feed his spidermice during lunch break. Determined, he went back to the archives to get some work done until then.

 

tbc…


	9. Comparisons

On his way to London, Jack tried not to think about anything. He had enough to worry about so he did not want to spend the ride brooding. In case an alert came in, Jack did not want to use the Torchwood SUV for the trip and had decided to take one of his own cars that were usually parked in storage. He paid someone for taking care of them but sometimes, when his job allowed it, he tinkered around on them himself.

_Ydris would love them, too, toying around with nuts and screws._

Brought up short by his internal double entendre, Jack laughed out loud.

_That would be me **and** my cars._

He knew exactly why he had not asked either of the handsome young Welshmen to accompany him, as their company made it unlikely that he ever got to London.

_Admittedly, that would only apply to Ydris as it would mostly be me who’s taking the initiative and he’d go along with it, but Ianto would give me hell for not driving._

A chuckle escaped him.

_What is there about Ianto Jones that has me so captivated? I want to bed him all right, but if it was just that I probably wouldn’t pursue him so insistently. There’s something more about him. That suit of his suited him really well. He didn’t even intend to dress up and still he looked gorgeous! Those are his work clothes! Incredible!_

Distracted by his thoughts, Jack drove on auto-pilot until a horn startled him out of his musings. Realizing that he came horribly close to touching the other car and causing an accident, Jack reduced his speed and changed to the left lane.

_That was close._

Gripping the steering wheel tighter, he took a deep breath, held it a moment and released it. Aside from accidents being rather unpleasant to say the least, Jack would have hated to trash his 1965 Shelby Cobra 427 Roadster.

Of course he could not take advantage of the powerful V8 engine that ran his dream of a car - blue, in the shade of ripe blueberries, with a broad white racing stripe - as he could hardly break the 70 miles per hour speed limit without endangering everyone else on the motorway. On a racetrack the sports car could have reached 165 miles per hour, with acceleration from a stop to 60 miles per hour in 4.2 seconds.

As it was, Jack could not even speed up to 70 miles per hour because he was not the only one who wanted to go to London. The closer he came to the capital city the busier was the motorway. Nowadays driving a sports car was not as much fun as it used to be. The Cobra was made for running not casual cruising.

When his phone rang, Jack activated the hands-free speaking system.

“Alistair,” he greeted.

“I told you I’d call,” the Brigadier told him with a hint of amusement.

“I’m on the road to London,” Jack let him know. “Can we meet?”

“Sure,” the Brigadier agreed. “I’m at the headquarters.”

“All right. I’ll be there in about an hour.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“See you later, Alistair.”

Jack was looking forward to meeting the Brigadier but he dreaded the conversations they were going to have. Finally, he knew what he wanted. What he did not know was what he would be expected to agree to in order to get it.

The worry knotting up his insides as well as the fact that he did not have breakfast made him crave food and he changed to the right lane to speed up and gain a few minutes so he could stop off on his way to UNIT’s headquarters to get something to eat.

 

xXx

 

When Ianto returned to the Hub, carrying two heavy shopping bags, he was somewhat out of breath, but he hurried up to the gantry nevertheless.

“Ianto,” Toshiko called, getting up from her seat to approach him. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” he gasped. “I’m just late.”

“Late?” she asked back, confused.

“I was away too long for my break,” Ianto replied. “The grocery shop was farther away than I thought. Sorry.”

Out of wide eyes the computer expert looked at the exhausted Welshman. “When did you even leave?”

Grasping the second bag with his right arm, too, Ianto looked at his watch. “Um… thirty-four minutes ago.”

At that, Toshiko had to bite back a chuckle.

“Sorry, Ianto,” she said. “But don’t worry about the four minutes. You’re likely to gather overtime hours here.”

“It’s unprofessional,” he murmured.

“What are you carrying there anyway?” Toshiko prodded, indicating the heavy bags.

“Just some stuff I needed,” Ianto shrugged the second bag back to the left side. “Some for the kitchenette here, too.”

“Well, then going shopping was job related,” Toshiko smirked. “Now stop worrying.”

“I’m not worrying,” Ianto grunted. “Is there something wrong about being professional?”

“Of course not,” she assured him. “But you’re so tense, Ianto. Relax.”

“Okay,” he agreed just for peace’s sake and turned to the stairs leading to the catwalk. “I’m not tense,” he grumbled under his breath as he climbed up the stairs. If Toshiko could hear him he could not tell. At least she did not respond.

In the kitchenette, he put his bags on the counter and unpacked what he had missed there. He put everything into the cupboard under the worktop except for the vinegar that he mixed with water before he filled the mix into the coffee machine and switched it on. A few low gurgles escaped it before it processed its program smoothly. With a smile, Ianto left it to its work and returned to his own down in the archives where he busied himself for about an hour before he checked on the machine.

Nobody paid any attention to him as he moved smoothly up the stairs and fumbled around with the machine. Owen had vanished in his medical bay and had not been seen since the morning meeting. Suzie was still examining an artefact, and Toshiko could always immerse herself in writing programs or enhancing the computer system.

That he was left to his own devices was a little disconcerting for Ianto. As he was used to a hierarchic system with a supervisor being in charge of a division he expected to be controlled or at least directed. Here he was given his task, incorporate the new artefacts, and left on his own. That was especially strange as the archives were so far down the tunnels. The sheer physical distance to his colleagues put Ianto on edge. Usually there was a hustle and bustle all around him in the big office with numerous cubicles. He could hear the others’ phones ringing, the clatter of their keyboards as they typed, their voices. He could smell coffee, tea, or perfume. Down in the vaults, it was just the cobwebs, the skitter of roaches and rodents, and the musty, dank smell of dampness.

Of course, he could go up to the workstations at any time to talk to the others, but what took just a few steps at his office at Torchwood One was a longer walk here. He already had noticed that he should think twice about what he would need during the day and take enough to drink with him to what he began to think of as the dungeon.

The archives were cramped, the shelf boards bending under the weight of the artefacts stored on them. The items themselves were not marked properly and Ianto had difficulty finding the things listed in the computer. There was one big position with numerous entries but he could not recognize the actual artefacts as belonging to the same group.

It was enough to drive the meticulous Welshman up the wall.

Gladly, he emerged from the vaults to check on the coffee machine. It was running smoothly and the result that he poured into the sink was almost clear. So he filled it with water this time and let it run again. As he did not feel like vanishing down in the archives again yet, Ianto strolled down to the med bay where he found Owen bent over the keyboard at his computer terminal, staring at the screen that Ianto could not see from where he was standing. Going down the stairs, though, Ianto caught a glimpse at what the doctor was doing and realized that he was playing an online game. The small table was littered with sweet wrappings and several mugs stood on the floor behind him.

Ianto scowled.

_When the cat’s away, the mice do play. Doesn’t he have other things to do?_

For a moment, Ianto just watched the medic who was so concentrated on his game that he did not even notice that his new co-worker stood right behind him. Finally, he tried to address him and ask if playing computer games was his interpretation of working, but Owen either did not hear him or deliberately ignored him. When he kept prodding, he got a distracted ‘in a minute’ in response but the doctor never moved away from his game. In the end, Ianto picked up the collection of mugs and carried them upstairs.

Passing the workstations, Ianto noticed that the one Owen used did not look any different than the small terminal downstairs. On Suzie’s desk also stood three mugs. At least she had thrown her trash into a bin and not strewn it on the tabletop. Ianto gathered up those mugs as well and continued to Toshiko’s desk.

“Can I help you?” the computer expert asked when he stepped up beside her.

“No, I’m fine,” Ianto said. “It’s just so silent down in the archives. I came up to assure myself that I’m not alone here.”

“Oh, I see…” she muttered at the unexpected declaration. Leaning back in her chair, she turned to face him and tried to determine how she could help, “What are you doing right now? I’m sure you could use Owen or Suzie’s workstation if you need to enter things into the database.”

“Especially as long as he’s lost in the vast space of the internet,” Ianto dryly stated.

“Is he roleplaying again?” Toshiko groaned.

“Well…” Ianto was caught by surprise by her statement. “Looks like it.”

Toshiko sighed. “Well, there’s no autopsy to perform and no alert came in… but he could help you for example.”

“Yeah…”

“Go and tell him. He’s not good at following Suzie’s orders as long as we’re not in the field.” Curiously, she eyed the mugs he held. “What are you up to with all those cups?”

“Just taking them to the kitchenette,” he shrugged. “Do you have one, too?”

Toshiko shook her head and indicated a Starbucks cup to go.

“Okay,” Ianto said and pivoted away from her. As he walked up the stairs once again, he thought about Toshiko’s suggestion to go to Owen and tell him to come and help him with the archiving. It was a really strange idea, especially as they had already established while he, Ianto, had still been stuck in the conversion unit, that Owen was superior to him.

Shaking his head dismissively, Ianto put the mugs onto the counter. As it was not that big to begin with, they took up almost the whole workspace. In order to make room, Ianto let water run into the sink and washed the mugs as well as some cutlery that seemed to be stuck into another cup for ages already. Ianto wrinkled his nose at the life forms that had settled on the forks and knives, hoping that they were all native species, and he quickly disposed of the wooden chopsticks that looked like they would develop a life of their own any time soon.

By the time he was finished, the coffee machine had completed its program as well and Ianto cleaned it out properly before he let it run with fresh water a final time. He had just switched the machine on when Toshiko called out for him.

“Ianto? Ydris has called. He’ll be here in a bit!”

“All right!” he replied, feeling odd once more shouting through the whole central Hub. Checking if everything was put away as it should be, he left the kitchenette and returned to Toshiko’s workplace.

“He’ll come in through the tourist office,” Toshiko told him. “Why don’t you go up there and let him in?”

“Okay.”

She offered him a smile before she applied herself to her work again. Ianto left through the cog door and went up to the ground level with the elevator. Passing through a door that he figured did not enter directly in the tourist information office but a back room that was separated from the office by a beaded curtain.

 _Where’s the door for the hidden entrance then?_ Ianto checked and found the camouflaged door to be rather inconspicuous on the other side as well. _In the end it doesn’t matter, I guess, as the front door’s protected by a code in addition._

As the air was rather stifling, Ianto opened the front door to the boardwalk where a water bus was about to cast off. Thankfully, the passengers were on their way up to the Plass and none of them interested in the tourist office. Suspecting that all the leaflets and brochures were not up to date, Ianto went to examine them closer. Looking at the pamphlets in the stand, he found his suspicion confirmed. Quickly, he gathered all the papers that were so outdated that they belonged in a museum as artefacts rather than in a tourist office as helpful information.

 _Some dusting wouldn’t hurt either,_ Ianto thought miserably as he kept searching the counter and collected all the old flyers in order to dispose of them as used paper. _Why do they neglect this office? It’s a good front, but it would be even more credible if they’d keep it open._

Noticing movement on the periphery of his vision, Ianto raised his gaze, expecting to see Ydris, but it was a brunette lady in a fuchsia coat who strolled into the office.

“Da bnawn,” Ianto cordially greeted. “Can I help you?”

“Oh, please,” she smiled a broad white smile at him, eyeing him curiously. “City centre… where can I get a bus to there?”

When he came back to Cardiff, Ianto had picked up a network map of the bus lines but did not study it yet, so he had to make an effort to recall what he had seen at first sight.

“Where exactly do you want to go?” he asked distractedly in order to get time for thinking.

“Pardon?”

She sounded a little confused and Ianto suspected that she was not fluid in English, so he repeated his question more clearly, “Where exactly do you want to go?”

“Oh, um… here,” she said, putting a travel guide on the countertop.

Seeing at what she pointed, Ianto smiled. At the same time his mind was forming the route, recalling that she could take the same bus that he and Owen had used last Friday. Picking up a slip of paper and a pen, he told her, “The bus leaves right in front of the Millennium Centre.” Ianto waited for her to confirm that she understood and when she nodded he continued, “You can take line **eight** or **eleven** ,” and as he emphasized the numbers, he scribbled them down on the paper, “to the bus station at the rail station or the stop on St. Mary Street.” He noted both stops as well and drew a circle around the latter. “St. Mary Street is closer to the Market, though. Okay?”

“Yes, thank you.” Once more, she offered him a warm smile and wanted to take the paper from him, but Ianto shook his head.

“From the stop on St. Mary Street you just advance to the pedestrian area. On the corner to your left there is the Prince Of Wales, a really good pub, a bit further to the right are Royal Arcade and Morgan Arcade. Both are very interesting with exquisite shops. If you pass through there and turn to the left,” he also added a rough sketch with the names to his directions, “you’ll go straight toward it and have Cardiff Story to your right and Cardiff Market,” at that he smiled up to her, “to your left.”

“What’s the story?” she queried.

“Cardiff Story is a small museum about Cardiff’s development and has an information centre as well,” Ianto carefully relayed and saw her nod. Giving her the slip of paper, he asked, “Does that help?”

“Yes, thank you very much,” she replied. “You’re a big help. So… the bus leaves at the Millennium Centre?”

“Yes, that’s right, ma’am,” Ianto agreed, “You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome,” Ianto nodded and watched her leave. Taking a deep breath, he decided to go and get up to date city maps, bus network flyers, and schedules of the Millennium Centre as soon as he had the opportunity.

Through the open door, he could see someone else approach the tourist information office and this time it was Ydris.

“Close the door behind you,” Ianto demanded as soon as the other Welshman stepped in.

“Good afternoon to you, too,” Ydris chuckled and pushed the door shut. “Something wrong?”

“Well, hello, Ydris,” Ianto replied. “Not wrong, but I got an impression of what it’s like to run a tourist office without having the corresponding information.”

At that, Ydris chuckled.

“So you couldn’t help her?”

“Well, I could, but not with what I’ve got here,” Ianto held up some of the outdated leaflets.

Having a closer look Ydris chuckled, “2001?”

“Yeah,” Ianto rolled his eyes. “They’re so advanced in some things and so backward in others.”

Still chuckling, Ydris said, “The way I got it this office isn’t meant to be open.”

Ianto scowled at him. “So you think that it’s normal for a tourist information office in the bay area right beside the water bus dock to be closed the whole year?”

This time, Ydris laughed. “No, but obviously it doesn’t attract attention either.”

“Hmmm.”

For Ianto it was all but normal. The front of Torchwood Tower had been an insurance company and it was well known and busy. Absolutely no comparison to this sad example of a front that was in such a bad state that Ianto was surprised that no official had come yet to demand its removal from the well frequented bay area that was one of the biggest tourist magnets of Cardiff.

“Anyway, Jack said you made some calls concerning the Tasmanian tigers?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ydris confirmed. “I’ve talked with a guy I knew at school. He’s studied biology and he found me some contact details of wildlife centres in Australia and Tasmania.”

“You could’ve googled that.”

“Right, but Alan knows people there. I’ve written emails to two of them and got a reply from Tasmania. He’s going to help with returning the tigers to the wild.”

“So we’ve determined they’re going to Tasmania?” Ianto queried.

“Not exactly,” Ydris shrugged. “But Alan volunteered to take them there.”

“You told him that we have Tasmanian tigers?” Ianto gasped. “Are you out of your mind?”

Now Ydris glared at the other man.

“Neither did I tell him what exactly we have nor am I out of my mind,” he snarled. “All I told Alan was that I knew a private breeder who has decided that he wants to release his animals in their natural habitat and that they would belong in Tasmania. I never mentioned thylacines. I’m not Torchwood, but that doesn’t mean that I’m stupid.”

“I didn’t say… I don’t think you’re stupid.” Ianto scowled at Ydris. “I was under the impression that your eagerness carried you away. Now why would Alan volunteer to take the animals to Tasmania?”

“Well, it’s a long flight,” Ydris explained. “You can’t just put them into a box, write Tasmania on it, and think they’d automatically land in a suitable environment. The flight from London to Australia takes about 20 hours, so it takes longer to Tasmania. They need to be fed and watered and when they arrive they’ll go into quarantine.”

Chewing on his bottom lip, Ianto listened to the other’s explanation. He knew a lot, but what actually lay ahead of their tigers was news to him.

“I didn’t realize they couldn’t be sent on their own and picked up at the airport at their destination,” he admitted. “Let’s go downstairs and talk about the details. Maybe your friend Alan can advise us.”

“Sure.”

No sooner said than done.

The two men sat in the boardroom and talked animatedly about the thylacines and their journey to their new home. They were excited about the prospect of the small group being able to save their species. After all, a small hope was better than no hope at all. They called the man in Tasmania with whom Alan had arranged the contact and agreed that he would take the tigers into quarantine and prepare their release into the wild. When the two Welshmen had finally worked out their plan, though, their conversation died away.

“So what’s between you and Jack?” Ianto broke the silence.

“I… don’t know what it is yet,” Ydris muttered hesitantly but still continued, “If it _is_ anything at all. I hardly know him.”

“I got the impression that there’s much more between you.” The words were out before he could think about them and Ianto felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. _Why didn’t I downright ask if they’re shagging? My mam would read me the riot act for such rude behaviour._

Obviously, Ydris did not have such qualms.

“Well, it’s just physical, you know?”

Suddenly, Ianto found himself to be subjected to the other’s scrutiny. Ydris eyed him intently as if he was trying to judge him in some way. It was a bit disconcerting but Ianto returned the gaze and waited.

Releasing a heavy breath, Ydris said, “And yet he’s flirting with you. I mean, that’s why you asked, right? Because you wonder what to make of Jack and me? More of Jack of course?”

“Well, I know he’s quite… liberal,” Ianto replied, “I didn’t think he’d flirt with one while he’s together with the other, though.”

“Together?” Ydris had to bite back a chuckle. “Wouldn’t that require more than just sex?”

“Huh?” Ianto voiced his confusion, but a second later, he caught on to the other’s not so subtle implication.

“Though I wouldn’t put it past him,” Ydris stated. “I think he’s open to pretty much anything.”

“I’ve heard about that…” Ianto muttered, recalling how Owen had teased Jack about his constant readiness.

“I’m sure flirting is Jack’s default setting. At first I was surprised that he made a move on you, but he also hit on Suzie.”

“Really? I must have missed that.” Ianto felt a tingling in his stomach that he tried to ignore. “What I did notice was how he boldly teased Owen. It was more like a jibe, actually. He must know that Owen isn’t the least bit interested, so why would he seek to annoy him like that?”

Ydris laughed. “I guess it’s kind of a game between them. Owen seems to need the occasional challenge.”

Ianto nodded before an awkward silence descended between the two men. For a few minutes they both followed their own thoughts that still spun around Jack Harkness before Ydris finally addressed the transport of the Tasmanian tigers again. They double checked what they had arranged so far until Suzie came in to tell Ianto that she would go and get takeaway dinner for everyone, but that he was free to call it a night if he wanted to.

Ianto was a little undecided. On the one hand, he would have liked to spend more time with his new colleagues, but on the other hand, he was tired, the spidermice were waiting, and he also did not really feel up to taking the banter that was likely to develop. In the end, he decided to excuse himself and go home. When he told Suzie so, the second in command just nodded and wished him a good night.

A few minutes later, the two men came down from the board room and strolled past the workstations, bidding the others goodnight.

“Oh, Ianto…!” Toshiko called out after him.

“Yeah?” he turned back.

“Could you wait a moment?” she asked. Seeing him nod, she went over to Suzie to talk with her quietly.

“I’m out of here,” Ydris murmured and waved at Owen down in the med bay. “Night.”

“Night, Ydris,” Ianto said and saw him out through the cog door. Not quite patiently, he waited for Toshiko, wondering what she might want from him now after being left to his own devices during the day. When she finally approached, she offered him a shy smile.

“We were talking about my collection,” she said. “Do you feel like looking at it now and maybe sharing a drink before you head home?”

Taken completely by surprise, all Ianto could do was nod.

 

tbc…


	10. An eggs-traordinary night

“Do you mind taking off your shoes?” Toshiko asked as they entered her apartment. “I have slippers for visitors.”

“No,” Ianto shook his head. “That’s all right.”

He slipped on the soft shoes and followed his host down the short hall. When he entered the living room, he realized why Toshiko preferred slippers: the thick fluffy carpet was white.

Even though her invitation had been perfectly innocent, Toshiko could not help but feel nervous when she gestured Ianto to go through into the living room. To make matters worse, he also seemed to be anxious. That put Toshiko even more on edge.

“What would you like to drink?” she asked. “I have soda and beer… or wine… I think there is also some sake.”

“A beer would be nice,” Ianto smiled and decided to choose where to sit. In the end, he stiffly sat down on the sofa. Letting his eyes roam around the room, he took in the furnishings that were simple only at first sight. The black sofa he sat on was quite comfortable, with three red, black and white pillows. The complementary easy chair and the coffee table were black as well. Under the window stood a long sideboard in red painted wood with delicate but discreet carvings. The well-chosen pieces all were plain but not necessarily cheap. Ianto did not know that much about furniture, but he was under the impression that Toshiko put care and money into the interior design of her flat. On the windowsill stood three white orchids, a moth orchid, a cymbidium orchid and one hybrid that Ianto did not know. And then there were three shelf boards that carried the majority of Toshiko’s collection.

His examination was interrupted by Toshiko’s return.

“Your living room is very nice,” he said. “You have a good eye for detail.”

“Thanks,” she muttered with a sheepish smile. Putting a bottle and a glass down on the coffee table in front of Ianto, she sat in the easy chair, her glass of soda in hand.

Eyeing both glass and bottle, Ianto wondered if it was an invitation or a subtle suggestion to pour his beer into the glass.

“Either is fine,” Toshiko told him as if she was reading his mind. “I’m just offering. Relax.”

“Fine,” Ianto said and picked up the bottle to take a mouthful.

“How was your day?” Toshiko asked.

“Long,” Ianto stated and chuckled half-heartedly. “The hours seemed to stretch. I’m used to a busy office with its background noises and all that. It’s so silent down in the archives.”

“You could’ve come up to the gantry,” Toshiko said with obvious surprise. “Use Owen’s workstation. Even better now, make Owen help you.”

“Actually I think it’s better to have the artefacts on location. I don’t just have to enter into the system what you brought in but also where you’ll find it in the archives.”

“Right,” she agreed. “You shouldn’t be on your own for so long, though. I’ll come and help tomorrow, all right?”

“You don’t have to, Tosh,” he shook his head and took another sip of his beer. “You have your own work to do.”

“That’s a reason but not an excuse,” she insisted and awkwardly shifted her position in her chair. “I’m sorry. You’re new and you just went through quite an ordeal. I can’t believe how thoughtless we’ve been today.”

“Tosh,” he tried to stop her. “It’s okay.”

But she shook her head. “No, Ianto. We shouldn’t forget what you’ve been through. You’re so good at what you’re doing and blending in so quietly that we didn’t think of taking better care of you.”

“I see,” he murmured. “So is that why you invited me?”

Biting her bottom lip, she lowered her head and cast down her eyes. Her embarrassment was cute.

“Thank you, Toshiko,” Ianto told her gently. “Actually I thought about staying at the Hub for dinner, but… well, I didn’t feel like good-humoured company. I mean, sooner or later Owen would get off on something and I couldn’t bear the banter tonight.”

“I understand.”

A moment of silence settled between them. Thankfully it did not become awkward. They just paused to follow their own thoughts before Toshiko carefully said, “I don’t want to keep you if you’d rather…”

“No,” Ianto rushed to say, “no, it’s all right. I appreciate the company. I just couldn’t put up with a pushy Owen right now.” He drank from his beer again and scooted forward on the sofa. Nodding at the shelf boards, he queried, “So, this is your collection then?”

“Part of it, yeah,” Toshiko eagerly confirmed. “Some are in the kitchen because I actually use them and then I have more in my bedroom.”

“Which one is your favourite?”

“I don’t think that I have one,” she shrugged. “One week I like the pewter rocket best, the next week it’s the sheepdog or the robot. Each of them is special.”

“I get that,” Ianto smirked.

Seeing him bounce in his seat undecidedly, Toshiko had to chuckle. “Now go and have a closer look!”

Laughing softly at his own nervousness, Ianto stood and went over to the shelves.

“How did you end up collecting egg cups of all things?”

Once more, Toshiko had to laugh. She got up and came over to stand beside him.

“I’m not sure. I just happened to have a lot of them and they became more and more. I simply couldn’t resist buying it if I saw an especially funny or unusual one. Soon they didn’t fit into the kitchen cupboard anymore, so I took the most interesting ones and arranged them around the flat. Did you notice the one between the orchids?”

Reflexively, Ianto turned to the windows to see what she meant. “The pewter camel?”

“Yep. You can take off the hump, it’s the salt pot.”

Ianto grinned. “No, I didn’t think the lying camel was an egg cup.”

“Neither did I when I first found it. It’s too pretty to stay in the kitchen.” All of a sudden, her stomach growled audibly and she covered it with one hand with embarrassment. “We didn’t have dinner yet. I could make us something to eat.”

Feeling his own insides churn, Ianto nodded. “Can I help you?”

“Nah, I’m fine. Just have a look at my collection if you like. Or switch on the TV. I’ll whip something up.”

As she spoke, she made her way to the kitchen. Ianto heard her rummaging around while he had a closer look at the stately collection. One immediately caught his attention because it was red and he laughed when he realized that it was a Scotsman cup with a red kilt. There was a series of wooden cups standing in a row, featuring male and female faces, one with a beard, another with long red curls. A bent silver fork held a white egg.

“Are those real eggs?” Ianto asked.

“Pardon?”

“I asked if those eggs are real,” he repeated a little louder.

“Yes, but just the shells. I’ve blown them out so they can’t go off!”

“Ah, I see!”

There were a couple of animal cups, a bunny with its ears sticking up, a sheepdog with a really cute nose, a chicken, a cat, a guinea pig, a donkey, an otter, and a cow. Ianto laughed softly at the bubble cars and vintage scooters that stood right next to VW camper van egg cups. On another shelf were plastic cups that had arms like octopuses. A little further back stood a silver cup with a little bear climbing the side. Another series Ianto recognized to be designed by Alessi, including a yellow one that looked like a little Chinese person. Others wore caps, consisted of a spiralling wire, or stood on their own two feet, either duck’s feet or wearing shoes. An especially interesting one also held an eggshell, otherwise Ianto would never have thought it to be an eggcup as it was a round base with three small soldier figurines, their right arms raised above their heads and holding knives. The next one was a London double-decker bus right beside a red telephone box whose top was a salt castor, and an equally red mini cooper. On the same shelf were a double eggcup and one with a long stem and colourful stripes.

Then Ianto paused.

“Sheep?” he chuckled. “Do you have a Welsh dragon one, too?”

“I have two with Welsh dragons on them in the kitchen,” Toshiko replied as she came back from the kitchen, thankful that he could not see her faint blush as he turned his back on her. “I couldn’t find one in actual dragon shape, though.”

“What a pity,” Ianto smirked, making a mental note to search for one. “Lisa, she used to call me Welsh Man, making it sound like I was a movie super hero. She often teased me with my being Welsh, but she actually loved it. One year she got me a sheep and dragon chess board…” he had to pause due to a lump in his throat, “for my birthday.”

“You like chess then?” she gently asked, trying to subtly divert his thoughts.

Ianto nodded.

“Do you feel like playing a game after dinner?”

“We’ll see,” Ianto replied evasively. So far, he enjoyed Toshiko’s company, but he was not sure if his mood would not change suddenly. He did not want to burden her with his brooding. His gaze fell on the second sideboard that matched the one under the window where he saw a bronze cat, lying on its back and all fours stretched up. “Is that an egg cup, too?”

“The cat? Yes.” She smirked. “I really like that one.”

“I also love the birds with beak and tail sticking out of the cup,” Ianto smirked. “They’re funny.”

“Then you’ll like this one,” Toshiko declared, gesturing him to follow. She led him into her bedroom where he found five more shelves, all stuffed with eggcups. “Here,” she indicated the one she meant.

“A puffin! Brilliant!” With wonder, he took in the assortment. It was stunning. A letter box cup, a Galloway cattle cup, a series of little owls, elephants, wolf, hippopotamus, panda bear, two green hand grenades, and even a gothic one, silver, in the shape of a skull. One shelf was filled with eggcups in the most common shape but decorated with all sorts of designs, stripes, flowers, paisley, whatever one could think of.

“I especially love this one,” Toshiko told him and pointed at a kiwi shaped cup. “I was so glad the beak didn’t break off when I brought it home from London.”

“It’s lovely,” he confirmed.

“I need to check on our meal. Just a minute.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

Once more, Ianto had a look at the unusual eggcups before he followed Toshiko into the kitchen. At once, his gaze fell onto a little white toy train on the windowsill.

“Oh, that’s cute!” he cheered. “The locomotive is the egg cup, the carriage the salt castor and the one in the middle?”

“Carrying toast,” Toshiko chuckled. “Now look at this one. Isn’t it right down our alley?”

Looking at what she held up, Ianto had to laugh aloud at the green alien with three stalk eyes sticking out on top.

“This is egg-straterrestrial,” Toshiko giggled. “Say hello.”

“Hello.”

They both could not help their giggles, which was refreshing and liberating. Catching his breath, Ianto asked, “What are you cooking?”

“Oh, I just heated up some chow mein and popped a couple of spring rolls into the oven.”

“Sounds delicious.”

“After a mission I often crave something hearty but don’t feel like cooking, so I make a big batch fresh when I have the time and freeze portions for when I’m beat.”

“I know how that goes,” Ianto assured her. “Not with missions, but sometimes you’re just not up for it. That’s usually when you need it most, right?”

“Always.”

Seeing him smile warmed Toshiko’s heart. Suddenly it made her realize how good it felt to have company and how lonely she often was on calm days when she actually had leisure time to spend at home.

“Can I help you with something?” Ianto offered.

“Well,” Toshiko murmured, opening a door and taking plates out that she held out to him, “you can put those on the table… and the cutlery,” she nodded at a stand on the counter where forks, knives, and spoons were hanging.

“Your wish is my command,” he smirked and laid the table.

Toshiko placed a thick wooden plate in the middle that she used as a trivet for the frying pan with the noodles. Putting the spring rolls on another plate, she set them beside the pan. Just when Ianto returned from the living room with his beer bottle and her glass of soda, she slid into one of the chairs. Ianto gave Toshiko her glass and sat down opposite from her. When she reached for the ladle to serve him, he held up his plate to give her better access. Only when she helped herself to a portion, he picked up his fork.

“Enjoy,” Toshiko said.

“Likewise,” Ianto replied with a grateful smile and they both tucked in.

For a while, they ate in silence. Occasionally, Ianto let his gaze drift around the kitchen while he chewed, which was how he discovered another highlight of Toshiko’s collection. The ceramic cup had a base that looked like grass with a low stone wall. Slender legs in chequered trousers supported the eggshell. Ianto chuckled which made his host look up from her meal.

“Humpty Dumpty?” he asked around his mouthful, indicating the eggcup on top of the fridge.

“Yep,” she snickered. “I’m so glad I found that one.”

“Talking about it… where _do_ you find those cups anyway?”

“Well, Humpty Dumpty is one of few that I discovered on a car boot sale. Some of them, especially the ones for everyday use, I bought at a grocery store or Kitchens. Most of them come from the internet, though.”

“I see.” Smirking challengingly, he queried, “And do you eat more boiled eggs now?”

At that, Toshiko laughed. “No, not that I’m aware of.”

In companionable silence, they finished their meal.

“Thank you, Tosh,” Ianto said when he leaned back in his chair, satisfied. “It was really good. Plus, at my bedsit I have no place to cook. I would’ve ended up ordering takeaway. So, thanks again.”

“You’re welcome. Do you want another beer?”

“Yes, that would be fine.”

Taking the plates and pan with her, Toshiko got up and returned with two bottles of beer, opened them and gave one to Ianto. Even though she smiled, Ianto could see that she was hiding sadness behind her friendly façade.

“Let’s go back to the living room,” he suggested.

“Okay.”

On their way over, she went past him to the easy chair and Ianto could see how her shoulders sagged. She seemed to carry a heavy burden and he wished he could help her.

“Tosh?” he carefully addressed her, “Is something wrong?”

A helpless shrug was her first response.

“I don’t know,” she sighed and sat down on the sofa. “Maybe I’m worrying too much, but… I can’t help but think…”

When she fell silent, Ianto was not sure if he should prod or not. Maybe she just needed to think about what she was comfortable with telling him. He sat down on the other end of the sofa. A moment later, she continued on her own.

“I can’t help but think that Jack might come back from London with bad news.”

“Like what?” Ianto softly asked.

“Like UNIT taking over guarding the Rift for example.”

Even though Ianto could sense that that prospect really bothered her, he could not tell why she was so anxious about it. Would she tell him? Or did she assume he miraculously knew and understood?

Finally, he settled on, “I can tell you, I’m not a friend of UNIT. Not really. They wanted to shoot me after all.”

“Why would they shoot you?” Toshiko gasped a second before she recalled that he had mentioned that before.

“I can understand their reasoning,” Ianto admitted with a tremor in his voice. “Every convertee was potentially dangerous and they couldn’t rule out that the conversion unit would not restart and complete the…” he shuddered, “the upgrade, but that doesn’t mean that I agreed with them when _I_ was stuck in the conversion unit and _I_ was the one they intended to protect the world from.”

“Thankfully they changed their minds.”

At that, Ianto snorted derisively. “They got their mind changed, yeah,” he huffed. “Owen stood between me and the soldier who took aim at me and yelled Colonel Mace down.”

A proud grin cracked Toshiko’s features. “I’d have loved to see that.”

“He was really insistent and they finally conceded. Dennis offered to stay and back Owen up in case the conversion unit restarted.” A bitter chuckle escaped him. “I mentioned to Owen how bold I thought his standing up for me was and that I worried that Captain Harkness would reprimand him for running Mace off like that, and he told me that Jack would buy him a beer for it.”

Toshiko laughed, “Yeah, that’s Jack for you. I can clearly see him doing that.”

Another silent moment passed but then it was as if their previous conversation had just been for testing the waters. Ianto sensed that his telling her about what UNIT did when he was first found assured her that he could be trusted. It encouraged her to open up to him and share some of her own sorrow.

“I did something bad,” she tonelessly said. “Right after university I was working for the Lodmoor Research Facility, a division of the Ministry of Defence. It was a good job. I could’ve made a career there. But then someone abducted my mother.”

Ianto scowled. Did he hear right?

“Your mother was kidnapped?” He saw her nod. “Who did that to her?”

“I don’t know. They told me to go into the facility’s archives and steal a set of plans. And that’s what I did, I got the documents and built the thing according to the plan. They were very pleased and of course, they did not keep their word. They told me to keep working for them. If I refused they would keep my mother and… my mother she screamed at me with fright and they used the sonic modulator on us, and that… that was when UNIT barged in. Everyone was arrested.”

“I’m sorry, Tosh.” Ianto said hoarsely as he felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to ask what had happened next but refrained from doing it. Obviously, it was hard for her to talk about it, so he assumed that it had been traumatic.

“I was held at a UNIT prison,” Toshiko went on, sounding even more anxious now and she kneaded her hands. “Without charge. And they would have kept me there indefinitely if it wasn’t for Jack.” She sniffled. “All I had in there was a jumpsuit. I was fed in what I believe to be regular intervals. I can’t really tell because time was irrelevant in that place. Every now and then, I was led out of my cell together with other inmates to relieve myself. Nobody spoke. It was forbidden.”

Ianto felt a shiver run down his spine. It was hard to believe that UNIT had been so cruel to gentle Toshiko who only had tried to save her mother.

“Back then I couldn’t tell how much time had passed. The hours stretched into forever. I saw the patch of light that came through the small window high in the wall move across the cell, but I didn’t care about measuring the hours with its help. It would’ve driven me out of my mind. It was all I could do to remain sane in that hellhole. Then, suddenly, he was there. The door to my cell opened and there he stood. At first I saw only his silhouette, or better, his coat’s silhouette.” A thought made her chuckle. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him leave the Hub without that coat.”

_Then you didn’t pay attention when he left for London,_ Ianto thought. _I’m sure he left it behind. The poor coat suffered after the Cybermen came. So did the Captain._

Ianto did not dare to interrupt her and waited until she continued on her own.

“Jack offered me a deal. He told me that the plans I worked with were erroneous, that they were shelved because they didn’t work, but my sonic modulator worked. It fascinated him. So he said he had a job for me, a dangerous job, but if I came to work for him he would make UNIT wipe my record clean.”

“Wow,” it escaped Ianto.

“The thing is,” she anxiously said, “that he agreed on a set timeframe. He told me ‘give me five years’ so that’s how long I’ll be obligated to him, to Torchwood. What if UNIT insists that he couldn’t keep his part of the deal? What if the Institute is closed for good? No Torchwood, no job for me. What if Jack has to give me back to them?”

“He won’t let that happen, Tosh,” Ianto told her with steadfast belief, simply because he could not imagine that Captain Harkness would allow it. Driven by instinct, he scooted closer to her and put his arm around her shoulders, hugging her against himself. “Everything will be all right.”

“But what if…?”

“No, Tosh,” he stopped her, gently stroking her arm. “UNIT won’t hurt you again.”

“You can’t know that, Ianto,” she insisted, wriggling around in his embrace. “I’m so scared that they’ll suddenly burst through the door and drag me back to prison!” The idea made her grimace and a sob escaped her. “I couldn’t stand that! I’d rather be dead!”

“Nobody will take you back to that place, Tosh,” Ianto assured her.

“But…”

“I won’t let them. Captain Harkness won’t let them. You’ll be all right, Tosh.”

Involuntarily, his words made her chuckle.

“What did I say?” he prodded.

“You keep calling Jack _Captain Harkness_ ,” she chuckled. “And none of us has ever called him _sir_.”

Ianto shrugged. “Politeness can never hurt.”

“But it sounds so… over the top,” Toshiko tried to explain, snuggling into his embrace. “Nobody addresses him so formally.”

“Really? In his position?”

Thoughtfully, she worried her bottom lip. “You know, once I asked him who he was and he replied ‘Nobody. I don’t exist.’ That has burnt itself in my memory. It’s so hard to believe, but it must be true.”

“Hmmm…”

For a few moments, they just sat like that, enjoying the comfort of the other’s presence. Suddenly, Toshiko felt Ianto tense.

“Oh!” he called out and looked at his watch. “Toshiko, I’m sorry, but I need to go.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked, scooting back.

“Well, I need to take care of something,” he told her and wondered for a moment if he should tell her. After what they had shared, he felt all right with it. “I saved someone from UNIT.”

“Oh?” she called out. “Who?”

“I’ll show you, if you promise not to tell anyone.”

“Promise!” she declared earnestly. “Where are we going?”

“To my bedsit.”

Excitedly, Toshiko bounced down the stairs behind him. She did not urge Ianto to relay more information during the short drive, but the Welshman could sense that she was really curious. Her anticipation was infectious and so he could hardly wait himself until they arrived back at the bay and he could lead her to his room. When he opened the door, he felt something tug on his arm when he reached for the light switch. As the light came on, he groaned.

“Oh!” Toshiko called out and shoved him into the room in order to close the door behind them. “That looks like a lot of work.”

Indeed. Fine silk strands criss-crossed the room. Frantically, Ianto searched for the little creatures that had escaped their cage. He fervently hoped that none of them had escaped from this room as well.

Toshiko could not help her chuckles as she watched Ianto carefully move between the thin threads that were hardly visible. He opened a cooler and took some salad and fruits out. Before he could do as much as cut them, he was swarmed by the spidery mouse things.

“You saved the alien mice?” Toshiko cheered, bouncing up and down where she stood. “Brilliant! I love you!”

Her enthusiasm helped him to get over the shock his sweet little mice had presented him with. Still he looked around the room with trepidation.

“I’ll help you,” Toshiko assured him. “We’ll clean up this mess and then we’ll find a nice home for them. All right?”

Gratefully, Ianto nodded at her and they set to work.

 

tbc…


	11. Miracles do happen

“Owen?” Jack shouted across the central Hub. “It was your turn to bring in coffee for the morning meeting! I don’t see any coffee to go, though!”

A groan reverberated up from the med bay just as Ianto was passing the entrance. “Yeah, I forgot,” Owen admitted. “I’ll go. Just a minute.”

“It’s okay, Owen,” Ianto said. “You don’t have to go. I’ll make coffee for the meeting.”

“You’ll make coffee?” Suzie asked sceptically as she looked up from the item she was working on.

“Yes.”

“How?” Suzie pushed who had not even noticed that Ianto was working upstairs the other day.

Ianto looked puzzled. “With your coffee machine?”

“You think you got the thing running?” Owen teased with a wicked grin as he came up from the med bay.

“It’s running all right,” Ianto replied, still a little confused. “I got coffee beans yesterday and now I’ll put the machine to work.”

“Okay…” Owen said, rolling his eyes and squeezing past the young man in order to go to the bathroom. The doctor was not allowed to try and make coffee and he was pretty sure that whatever Ianto made would not be any better than what Suzie lured out of the old machine.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Ianto demanded to know. “I told you I can handle it.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Suzie shrugged and bent over the workstation again. “He just doesn’t believe you, and neither do I.”

Ianto was perplexed. What was it with those agents and their coffee machine? “Tosh?”

“It’s all right, Ianto,” the computer expert assured him and offered him a quick smile that got a mischievous touch when she winked. “Just go ahead.”

“Okay…”

Despite Toshiko’s support the reactions of his new co-workers still confused Ianto. For now, he chose to ignore them, though, and walked up the stairs to the kitchenette on the catwalk to start up the machine. The other’s insistence that the coffee maker would be trouble remained a mystery to him. _Does it leak? I’d have noticed that_ _when I descaled it_ _. Maybe it overheats and burns the coffee?_ He shook his head. _No, it’s more likely they don’t know what to do with it. They’d be better off with a regular coffee machine, not this professional one._

He shrugged and poured the beans into the grinder. When it was finished, he spooned the right amount in and switched the machine on. Then he got out his notes to have a last look at them before the meeting. Not that he needed to, but it made him feel better. This was his second morning meeting with the new colleagues and seeing how the first day went, he wanted to do well… but also address the issues he saw.

The steaming machine was gurgling right in time, when Ianto saw first Toshiko, then Suzie and finally Owen head up to the board room that was on the same level as the kitchenette. Ianto had just put the mugs and two thermos jugs on a tray and started along the catwalk, when Jack sprinted up the stairs on the other side of the Hub. A moment later, the captain entered the room from one side and rushed to his seat at the head of the table, while Ianto came in on the other side and put the tray down on the tabletop.

Jack looked at him with surprise only to glower at Owen next.

“Didn’t I just remind you that it was your turn to go to Starbucks?” the captain asked. Then he smiled at the Welshman. “Ianto, nothing against you. Really. It just was Owen’s turn and I don’t want him to worm out of his duties.”

“He didn’t,” Ianto said. “I told him to stay and offered to make coffee.”

“That’s right,” Suzie confirmed. “He said so.”

“Yep,” Toshiko added.

“For once, it wasn’t Owen’s fault,” Suzie teased.

“What do you mean with _for once_?” Owen grumbled.

“Take it easy, kids,” Jack threw in.

“I mean it, Jack!” Owen griped. “Suzie’s making mistakes, too.”

“We all make mistakes, Owen,” Toshiko told him softly.

While the others argued, Ianto filled the mugs and served Suzie and Toshiko first, then Jack and Owen. Finally, he sat down with his own mug beside Toshiko. Glancing around the table, Ianto was completely mystified. Instead of nursing their drinks, his new colleagues just stared at the mugs, seemingly unable to decide what to do with them.

Deciding that he had enough of it, Ianto wryly said, “I didn’t poison it. If that’s what you’re scared of…”

“Nothing personal, Ianto,” Jack assured his newest team member as he feverishly thought about a way to get around tasting the brew even though it at least smelled like coffee. There was no way to avoid it, though, so he already racked his mind about what to tell Ianto once he had tasted it. “It’s just that that thing hasn’t worked properly for years. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us about your plans for the archives?”

“I still don’t get it,” Ianto said and sipped at his coffee. “Why do you run to Starbucks if you have one of their machines right there in the kitchenette?”

The team looked at him, then at each other, but remained silent.

“Guys?”

“I’d really like to know what you have planned for our archives, Ianto,” Jack insisted.

“Yes, sir,” Ianto could not quite suppress a sigh. “By the way, the coffee won’t taste any better when it gets cold. The _archives_ ,” he emphasized, “if you want to call them that, need a proper system. You can’t seriously file everything you don’t recognize under _alien tech_. What you need is a detailed index with sub-categories and cross-references. As I know the filing program that you have transferred from Torchwood One, it willfacilitateincorporating what artefacts you have brought in from London.” He paused and when nobody asked any questions he continued, “Your own archives is another subject. Your filing system is rudimentary and the order in the physical archives non existent.”

While Owen and Suzie partially blocked out what Ianto said, Toshiko smiled at Jack who stared incredulously at Ianto. The captain was shocked by the young man’s subtle praise of the loathed software One had used as much as by the implied statement that the archives were a pigsty. Without sparing a thought about it, he grasped his mug and took a big gulp.

A second later, Jack’s eyes rolled up and he sat up straight in his office chair.

“Jack? Are you okay?” Owen asked, immediately in doctor mode.

“What is _that_?” Jack panted and drank again from his coffee. “This is awe-inspiring! Ianto, from where did you smuggle it in?”

“How often do I need to tell you that I made it?” Ianto groaned. He did not understand why Jack made such a fuss about an ordinary cup of coffee.

“Kids, you need to taste it! It’s incredible!” Jack beamed at the Welshman. “Ianto, I’ll make this part of your job description. From now on making coffee is one of your primary duties. You’ll get a bonus of…”

“I don’t need a bonus or something, sir,” Ianto cut him short. “I did nothing special. Each of you could do the same.”

Once more, Suzie, Toshiko, Owen, and Jack stared at him wordlessly, then at each other, and finally erupted in loud laughter.

“No,” Jack panted between laughter. “None of us could do this. You worked a miracle there, Ianto Jones! I insist you keep doing it.”

“No problem, sir,” Ianto said, feeling rather uncomfortable. It was so weird getting praised for something as ordinary as making coffee. “It really isn’t that difficult. Though it definitely helped that I thoroughly descaled the machine yesterday.”

Now the other team members sipped on their coffee, too, and Ianto was greeted by sounds of delight.

“Now, sir,” Ianto said. “There are other subjects I’d like to address. Ydris contacted a biologist in Tasmania who will help us by taking the thylacines in for quarantine before he’ll release them into the wild…” he trailed off when he noticed that nobody paid attention.

Jack, for example, was totally engrossed in enjoying his coffee.

“Sir?” Ianto prodded.

But it was not until Owen kicked at Jack’s shin that the captain looked up from his mug.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

Ianto rolled his eyes but repeated the most important part.

“I told you about our progress with organizing the Tasmanian tigers’ journey to their new home.”

“Oh, right,” Jack muttered. “And?”

“And it looks like someone will have to go with them to take care of them during the flight and in quarantine. One of Ydris’s friends offered to do that.”

“I see,” Jack nodded, clutching the mug to his chest as if he was afraid someone might take it from him. “Do you have any information about what it will cost us?”

“Our current estimation is 1.600,00 to 2.000,00 quid.”

“What?” Jack gasped and almost spilled his precious coffee. “Are you kidding?”

“No, sir.”

“But that’s ridiculo…” he trailed off when he saw the looks Toshiko and Suzie shot at him. At least Ianto seemed to be expectant rather than accusatory. “I’m not going to pay so much money for a stranger’s trip to Tasmania. If anyone goes it’ll be one of us.”

“Maybe you can convince Ydris to go,” Toshiko suggested.

“Perfect!” Jack cheered. “I’m sure he’ll love it.” Again, he drank from his coffee and scowled when he swallowed the last drops. “Ianto, do you have more of this magical coffee?”

“Yes, sir,” Ianto said and went over to him with the thermos to fill the captain’s mug.

“Thank you, Ianto.”

Ianto returned to his place beside Toshiko. “Good that we could settle this, sir,” he said. “There’s still the matter of the archives, though. Organizing them as well as adding the new artefacts from Torchwood One will take longer than the estimated week… much longer.”

Leaning back in his office chair and holding his mug in both hands, Jack just smiled a mystical smile at Ianto. He had no problem with Ianto staying longer than planned. The captain instantly fell in love with the Welshman’s coffee and he was pretty sure that he could find further use for the beautiful young man. The only issue he saw was if Ianto was willing to stay.

“You might want to think about hiring someone,” Ianto suggested, destroying the captain’s happy illusions.

Jack stared at him with open astonishment and tried not to show his disappointment. “I thought I did,” he stated, “hire someone, I mean.”

“So, in your opinion the week we agreed on automatically extends with the rising workload?” Ianto challenged.

Toshiko, Suzie, and Owen caught their breaths and waited for their boss’s response.

“Yep,” Jack simply answered.

Raising one eyebrow, Ianto stood his ground, “I disagree, sir.”

“Can we talk about it?” Jack asked, perplexed.

“That sounds better, sir,” Ianto stated.

“Okay… Will you stay?”

“Let’s talk about that after the meeting, sir,” Ianto suggested. “There are other issues we should address.”

“Oh, really?” Jack started to believe that bringing Ianto in would result in quite an uproar.

“Yes. I’d like to talk about the tourist office you use as a front, but we can do this later as well,” Ianto told him matter of factly. “I’m sure that right now we’re all interested in what you accomplished in London.”

Jack choked. All of a sudden, he felt humbled by the realization that Ianto of all people addressed what he should have reported on his own accord. Feverishly, he thought about where he should start, as the previous day had been quite eventful.

“Well, I met with Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart to talk about wrapping things up at Canary Wharf,” he finally started. “There are some details I don’t need to burden you with, but let me give you an overview of the important stuff. First, Torchwood One will be closed for good.” Hearing Toshiko try and stifle a gasp, he went on, “Torchwood Two and Three will remain operational and I’ve officially been put in charge as Torchwood’s new director. So everything will go its usual way here. I don’t intend to accept personnel transfers from One to Three, though.”

Clearing his throat, Ianto tried to catch the captain’s attention and when Jack looked at him expectantly, he asked, “What exactly do you expect me to do as the interim director of personnel then?”

“To wrap things up,” Jack told him without any hesitation, ignoring the indignant look Suzie shot at him. “They will receive a pension and can leave Torchwood with or without taking retcon. I’ll leave that possibility open to them as they’re bound by the Official Secrets Act. Or they can move on to UNIT. Colonel Mace offered to take them over.”

“I bet he did,” Suzie snorted wryly. “That way he can learn One’s secrets on the quiet.”

“Of course he can’t,” Jack scowled. “That’s one of the points I want you to help me with, Ianto, the debriefing.”

“How may I be of assistance with that, sir?” Ianto queried.

“You’re great at organizing things,” Jack shrugged. “You’d be responsible for the corresponding paperwork. Maybe you can also help me with the actual debriefing?”

“You mean like _good cop, bad cop_?” Owen mischievously cut in. “Ianto balancing out your blustering?”

At that, Jack glowered at his medic. “I’m sure Mr. Jones can give matters the right official appearance.”

Ianto shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Sir, who’s responsible for the finances here?”

“That would be me,” Suzie beat Jack to it.

“Because I’m willing to do the necessary correspondence,” Ianto explained, “but I don’t know anything about payroll accounting. Maybe we can work together on that?”

“Yeah,” Suzie grunted.

“Something wrong?” Jack demanded to know.

“No,” she sighed. “It’ll just be a heap of work.”

“Well, I can’t deny that,” Jack said and turned to Ianto, “I’m glad that we can work things out together there.”

Ianto nodded. “Did you talk with Major Billingham, too?”

“Yeah, right,” Jack confirmed. “UNIT is still in the process of identifying the remains. He said that he’ll be in touch again by the end of the week.”

Once more, Ianto nodded, this time because his throat was corded up. Thoughts of Lisa and Virginia and all the other lives that were lost during the Battle of Canary Wharf choked him.

“All right, kids,” Jack declared. “I think that’s it. Back to work.”

As the others filed out of the board room, Ianto remained in his seat as he expected to clear his own status with the captain.

“Now, what am I gonna do with you?” Jack smirked as the door closed behind Toshiko, leaving the two men alone.

“Beg your pardon?”

“This coffee is amazing,” Jack stated. “You don’t expect me to ever let you go, do you?”

“You said you won’t accept any transfers from One,” Ianto stated dryly.

“Right, but you’re already working for me,” Jack chuckled softly. “Besides, you’re different.”

“I’m different? In which way?”

“I distrust One’s personnel,” Jack declared flatly. “ _You_ on the other hand have already proven your worth and your loyalty. Not just to the Institute. To me.”

Ianto snorted. “By betrayal.”

“One man’s betrayal is another man’s trustworthiness,” Jack firmly told him, allowing no objection. “You did what you believed to be the right thing. Actually, you followed your superior’s order. A man whom you trusted and who happened to be one of very few,” _if not the only one,_ Jack thought, “who did not betray _you_.”

Ianto could not deny that the captain made a point. “Still, about my temporary employment…”

“Do you want it to be temporary?” Jack queried, leaning back with his coffee mug.

“You’re asking me?” Ianto shot back.

“Who else should I ask?” Jack shrugged. “I have a pretty good imagination of what _I_ want, but I have no idea what _you_ want.”

“I have absolutely no idea, sir,” Ianto admitted.

“And I can perfectly understand why,” Jack told him gently. “You need time to make those decisions. Can we agree that you’re going to stay and help with the personnel, the funerals, and the archives for, I don’t know, another three weeks?”

“I can’t tell yet if four weeks will be sufficient, sir.”

“As long as One’s artefacts are incorporated we can deal with the archives,” Jack assured him.

“The same way you’ve dealt with them up to now?” Ianto queried with barely concealed horror.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Where do I start, sir?”

For a second, Jack looked crestfallen before he pouted, “I really don’t know why you find fault with our archives.”

“Have you been down there recently?”

At that, Jack grinned, “When I showed you the archives.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“We go down there regularly,” Jack explained. “We need a place to store what comes through the Rift after all.”

“So you just put it there and forget about it?”

“No!”

“Then please explain your archiving system to me, Jack,” Ianto demanded. “Because I can’t make any sense of it.”

Suddenly, the captain’s features lit up. He practically beamed at the Welshman who scowled in response.

“You called me Jack,” the captain grinned like the Cheshire cat.

Ianto huffed. “Seriously, _is_ there any system to your archiving?”

Just as quickly as the grin had cracked his face, Jack’s features turned sour.

Ianto choked. Even though he could not tell exactly what was wrong about what he had said, he knew that he had overstepped a line and he felt the urge to apologize. Biting his bottom lip, he searched for something to say without making it worse.

“There is,” Jack rasped, “but… that’s a long story and I’m not ready to tell you about it.”

Accepting the explanation with a nod, Ianto asked, “Could you still spare a few minutes to help me grasp your concept?”

For a moment, Jack mulled over that before he nodded. He reached for the thermos and pouring the last rest of coffee into his mug Jack asked, “Ianto, could you work some more coffee magic?”

“Of course, sir,” he replied, sensing clearly that this conversation was over, and took the thermos from him. As he turned to leave, he got only as far as to the door when he was stopped short by a casual remark.

“Oh, and, Ianto…” Jack held the freshly filled mug against his lips, watching the young Welshman over the rim. “If only one of those accursed spidery mouse things that you coaxed UNIT into giving to you comes anywhere near the Hub, I’m gonna make you my coffee slave for the rest of your life.”

A grimace washed over Ianto’s features, followed by a dramatic roll of his eyes, before he continued on his way without further comment.

 

tbc…


	12. Coat and coffee

After his talk with Ianto, Jack returned to his office. He felt on edge. Unknowingly, Ianto had touched a subject that woke painful memories. Just for a second, he had been tempted to tell the young Welshman about the agonizing time after his tragic loss on the last night of the year 1999. It was hard to believe but Alex had been his first boss who did not make him feel like he was part of the equipment. Jack liked to work with Alex and his team and when he died in the line of duty, he knew he had someone to talk to if needed after his resurrection. He rarely made use of the offer, but knowing that he could and was not taken for granted already helped a great deal.

With a sigh, Jack sat down behind his desk. His gaze fell on the little coral on the tabletop and his heart clenched painfully. He yearned to travel but this planet was too small to satisfy his desire. Sometimes, he wondered if he would ever find the kind of happiness again that he had experienced only twice during his long life and both his youth and his time with the Doctor were over a hundred years ago. Some rare times came closer to being happy than others and being part of Alex’s team had been one of those times.

_It’s about the people,_ Jack thought. _I love my team members. Suzie. Toshiko. Owen. Each of them is special and I’m so glad I found them and made them part of this team. Why can’t I get a connection with them?_

Jack never realized that it was fear of renewed loss that kept him from getting to know his co-workers better. All he knew was that something was missing.

Hearing a knock, he looked up and a smile touched the corners of his mouth when he found Ianto at the entrance to his office.

“Come in,” he said and explained, “As long as that door isn’t closed you don’t need to knock.”

“Okay.” Ianto approached his desk and set down another big mug with steaming coffee.

“Mmmmm,” Jack smiled. “Smells wonderful. You know, a wise man once said that a good coffee has to be black as the night, hot as sex, and sweet as life.”

“You didn’t say anything about sugar,” Ianto muttered, thinking he forgot something.

“Oh, no, I don’t take sugar” Jack rushed to assure him. “It’s just a quote. Thank you.”

“In that case,” Ianto mused aloud, fixating the captain with a stern gaze. “I’ve seen that coffee mug, sir, and it’s hot as _love_ , not sex.”

“Oh, well, I must have misremembered it,” Jack muttered, a naughty sparkle in his eyes that sent chills down Ianto’s spine. Just as quickly turning nonchalant, Jack asked, “What are you going to do now? The archives?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I need to take care of this pile here,” Jack gestured at a stack of papers on his desk. “I’ll join you later in the archives, okay?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Ianto, I’m sorry for cutting you short earlier,” Jack said. “You caught me on the wrong foot.”

“No problem,” Ianto assured him. “It’s not my place to question you about it.”

“It’s your job to question me about how I kept things filed,” Jack firmly told him. “I went through a hard time when I used that improvised filing system. That’s all I’m gonna tell for now.”

“That’s perfectly all right, sir.”

Jack smiled and took a drink of his coffee. Smiling dreamily, he leaned back…

…and was interrupted by an alert shattering the silence.

Groaning, Jack took another gulp and put the mug down. Rushing to the door, he shouted, “What is it?”

“Rift alert,” Toshiko replied. “Seems to be something big.”

Owen came up from the med bay and Suzie approached from her work area where she examined an artefact.

“Can you tell us anything else?” Jack asked, “Did something get through?”

“No. Sorry, Jack,” Toshiko answered, “We’ll have to go and see.”

“Well, let’s go then. There’s a job to be done,” Jack said cheerfullyand the others rushed to gather their equipment. “Are you holding down the fort, Ianto?” he queried and patted Ianto’s back encouragingly.

Ianto winced and emitted a small hiss.

“Oh, sorry!” Jack gasped, contriteat having hurt the young man whose back still appeared to have sore spots from being trapped in the conversion unit. “Really, sorry.”

“No harm done,” Ianto groaned.

“No, I mean it. I’m sorry,” Jack insisted. It looked like it was becoming a habit, apologizing to Ianto. As quickly as his expression had changed to shock, though, a mischievous smirk cracked his features. “Shall I kiss it better?”

Sourly, but with a mystical half-smile, Ianto grimaced at him, slightly shaking his head. “No.”

Jack actually looked disappointed.Why could he not get anything right with Ianto?

“I could drive,” Ianto suggested.

“That won’t be necessary,” Jack shook his head. “But thanks for the offer. You can continue with your task… and have some of that incredible coffee ready when we get back.”

All Ianto could do was roll his eyes.

“Do you want an earpiece? Then you can follow our radio talk.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And could you call me Jack, for God’s sake?” the captain frayed. “You’re driving me crazy!”

“Apparently a short trip,” Ianto muttered under his breath.

“Hey! I heard that!”

Ianto was stunned that Jack could understand him but did not back down. “Take it like a man, Captain,” he smirked wickedly. “Just like I’m enduring your flirting.”

“Endu…!” Jack gasped. “And here I thought my odds for dinner with you were rising!”

“Hardly,” Ianto told him matter of factly. “Now, sir, your team is waiting.”

“Ianto Jones, you’re really one of a kind,” Jack snickered. “You want it? You’ll get it: I’m expecting coffee when I get back. That’s an order!”

“Yes, sir.”

Ianto saluted, looking so serious that Jack could just shake his head.

“Jack?” Owen shouted. “Are you coming?”

“Yep!” Jack replied. For a second, he looked at his office, undecided, but then he hurried to catch up with the others who were on their way out through the armoury.

 

xXx

 

For a minute or so, Ianto stood on the same spot and felt a little lost. When he finally shook off his rigour, he returned to Jack’s office to collect the half-empty coffee mug. On his way out, his gaze fell on the coat rack and the greatcoat that hung limply from one of the hooks.

_He left his trademark behind._

Now he understood why Jack had been reluctant and looked back to his office before he left. He carried his gun in its holster, but the coat was still there. Obviously, he wanted to take it with him but decided against it.

_To the two most important things,_ Ianto chuckled to himself, lifting the coffee mug at the greatcoat. _Coat and coffee._

Ianto let his free hand run over the thick wool. Even though the stains were not clearly visible, he could feel them where blood and dirt encrusted the fabric.

_They must have suffered a lot._

Feeling the irresistible urge to do something for the captain, Ianto took the coat from its hook and out to the main Hub. Only then did he realize that he had no idea if he would find something like laundry detergent here. Actually, he doubted it, especially as it had to be wool-safe.

_Maybe dry cleaning would be a better idea._

Sitting down on the sofa in the rec area, Ianto examined the heavy woollen coat closer. It was not just really dirty but he also discovered tears and holes in the thick fabric.

_What happened to Jack to leave such traces? A Weevil attack? Probably._

Letting his fingers run over the folds, Ianto recalled how he woke up with the coat stuffed under his head. Jack had taken him to the med ward at Torchwood tower and when Ianto would not let go of the coat, Jack left it there.

_One of those blood stains must be mine._

Deciding that Jack could not wear the coat again as it was, Ianto got out his cell phone and called his landlady as the bedsit was much closer to the Hub than the next grocery store. As luck would have it, Mrs. Dillard assured him that she had wool-safe laundry detergent at home. When he asked if he could have some, she readily agreed. So Ianto quickly went to his bedsit in order to get the cleaning agent, making a mental note to buy a replacement and getting more for the hub as well. He also coaxed Mrs. Dillard into giving him a sewing kit and carried both back to the Hub. In one of the storerooms, he found a bowl that he filled with tepid water, and carried it to the archives. He gathered up his supplies and the coat and took everything down to his workplace. There, he began with looking through the coat’s pockets to make sure nothing important hid in them.

_This'll be a Sisyphus job._

Knowing that treating each spot separately was the only way to do it only strengthened his determination. Wetting a clean cloth and adding a few drops of the cleaning agent, Ianto gently dabbed a stained spot without rubbing. This was only a minor stain, but he knew that he would have to allow the soap to work for a couple of minutes on the crusted spots. Dampening another clean cloth, he dabbed the wet spot to remove the soap.

_One spot done, about two hundred stains to go._

 

xXx

 

When Ianto emerged from the Hub’s bowels, the team was not back yet. Even though Jack had offered him one of the earpieces, he forgot to give it to him before he left, so Ianto was clueless. Unwilling to just sit around and wait, he went back down to the archives to get some work done. For about an hour, he busied himself with sorting the files that blocked the desk and made using the computer there rather difficult. Then he realized that he would not notice if the team was back. The thought put him on edge and after a few minutes, he decided to pause and go up to the main Hub.

His timing could not have been any better because right when the coffee machine announced with happy gurgling that it was finished brewing, the paving stone of the invisible lift slowly descended, carrying Jack and Suzie to base level. When Ianto and Jack’s gazes met a broad grin cracked the captain’s features at the prospect of fresh coffee.

“No reason to be so happy,” Suzie snarled as they reached the bottom. “We still have an unexplained death to solve.”

“No reason not to enjoy coffee,” Jack growled.

“Oh, I know exactly what you were enjoying,” she hissed back and moved away from him, going over to her worktable.

“What happened?” Ianto wanted to know as he walked down the stairs.

“No thermos?” Jack asked back.

“I was about to ask if I should take it to the boardroom for a meeting.”

“Not yet,” Jack told him. “I’m about to get a stretcher. Owen needs to do an autopsy.”

“Which brings me back to my original question,” Ianto said, “What happened?”

“Well, we don’t know,” Jack shrugged.

The blank admission startled Ianto a little. This was another difference between Torchwood One and Three. Ianto could not imagine anyone at the headquarters officially claiming they had no idea. Torchwood was the one place where everything was possible… which ultimately led to the Institute’s downfall.

By the time Ianto returned to the present, Jack was gone to get the stretcher he mentioned. A moment later, he reappeared and made his way through the armoury to the underground garage to bring in the body. When he returned, Toshiko and Owen were with him. Together, they took the body bag to the med bay where they placed it on the autopsy table.

Hesitantly, Ianto crossed the gantry to the handrail from where he could look down to the med bay. The others just removed the bag and Ianto had to force himself to stay where he was. A young man was inside, which was hard to bear for Ianto after his own brush with death.

“Is there something I can do?” he asked when Toshiko came up the stairs.

“Well, actually…” she smiled apologetically, “some coffee would be really nice.”

Going with her toward the workstations, Ianto asked, “Tosh, is there a special story behind your obsession with coffee?”

“Not really,” she shrugged. “Call it a legal drug that keeps us going.”

“Well, you shall have what your heart desires,” the Welshman smirked with exaggerated chivalry.

“Thank you, Ianto.”

Ianto sensed a lump form in his throat. Toshiko’s thanks were heartfelt. It made him wonder whether their efforts ever were acknowledged. Working for a secret organization they would never get any recognition by the public and with their team consisting only of four people their only approval might come from their boss, Captain Jack Harkness. Torchwood One could have been a source of acceptance, but as the captain had severed the ties to the headquarters that was unlikely as well. Any small sign of appreciation, even if it was a simple cup of coffee, probably meant a lot to them.

Making a mental note not to ask ever again, Ianto just turned and climbed up to the kitchenette. Two minutes later, he was on his way back down with freshly filled cups. Putting the tray down on Owen’s workstation, he first served a mug to Toshiko who offered him a shy smile, and then to Suzie who was so engrossed in examining an artefact that she just grunted something that could have been anything from a thanks to an insult. Ignoring her weird behaviour, Ianto took one mug down to the autopsy bay where Owen was about to open the body. Ianto put the mug onto the small computer terminal there. All Owen gave him was a curt nod.

“Thanks, teaboy,” Owen muttered absently as Ianto already set foot on the stairs again.

The young Welshman paused, his head whipping around.

“Pardon?”

“Huh?”

“What did you just say?” Ianto prodded at Owen’s confused expression.

“Said thanks?” the medic murmured.

“No, that other word,” Ianto pushed.

Owen just shrugged.

Indignantly, Ianto put his fists on his hips and huffed, “You called me _teaboy_.”

At that a wicked smirk cracked the medic’s features.

“Oh, that… well, that’s appropriate seeing what you’re doing, right?” Owen teased, and giving a crooked grin and a wink, he dove back into his task.

Shaking his head at the medic, Ianto returned to the gantry. With the last mug he went to Jack’s office. As the door was open, he went straight in as he had been told before and found the captain at his desk, lost in thought. Ianto found that he looked weary. There was no energy in his posture and his eyes appeared unfocused. All of a sudden, Jack looked up and his whole demeanour changed, a smile spreading on his face and the pale blue eyes sparkling.

“Ianto! Coffee! You’re a lifesaver!”

Ianto could not help but wonder how much of his refreshed enthusiasm was real and how much was show that the captain put on in order to maintain his dashing superhero façade.

“Do you have a moment?” Ianto asked.

“Yeah. Come, take a seat.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Rising a sceptical eyebrow at Ianto, Jack tilted his head to the side. “I know I’m going to regret asking this, but… How’s the archiving going?”

“With the identifiable items it’s going slowly but steadily, sir,” Ianto replied matter of factly.

Jack chuckled at the hidden reprimand. “I think I earned that.” Even though he appeared to be amused, he was in uproar. Checking out the Rift alert did not go as well as he claimed. When they arrived at the location, they could not find any trace of alien presence, but there was an unexplained death and they took the body to find out if there was a connection with the Rift. A gulp of coffee helped to ease his tension.

“How did the mission go?”                                                               

Now that question did _not_ help.

“Can’t really tell,” Jack admitted with a shrug. He took another drink. “No alien visitors. At least not as far as we can tell.”

“Who’s the victim?” Ianto prodded.

Fishing the wallet he had taken off the young man out of his waistcoat pocket and checking its contents, Jack said, “One Spencer Murphy.”

“What happened?”

“No idea,” Jack shrugged. “He was dead already when we arrived. Now Owen’s trying to determine the cause of death to see if it’s related to the Rift.”

“I see.”

Using the pause to drink more of his precious coffee, Jack leaned back in his executive chair. The black brew did not just smell good, it also tasted incredible. Out of the blue Jack was thrown back in time to when Griff brought in the machine that appeared to be oversized for a staff that consisted of only six people. Then they realized that it produced a seemingly never-ending supply of coffee and no one teased the young man anymore. The only downside was that Griff was the only one who could make a brew that deserved the title coffee. Since then, Jack had not tasted a coffee that tasted this good.

“Sir, may I ask you about your filing system?” Ianto broke the silence.

“You can ask me whatever you like,” Jack told him with a lopsided shrug. “But that’s not a guarantee that you’ll get an answer.”

“Well, you said that there actually _is_ a system,” Ianto continued unperturbed. “Can you explain it to me now or should we meet later?”

Jack was grateful that Ianto offered him a choice. _He’s a very thoughtful and compassionate young man. And his unusually deep voice…_

“Are we talking about the reports or the artefacts?”

Ianto grimaced. “Well, if I’m not mistaken the files were dropped there in chronological order?”

At that, Jack grinned sheepishly. “You can say so, yes.”

“And the artefacts?”

“Were also dropped there in chronological order, more or less,” Jack quipped. “They’re coded with symbols.”

“You mean those glyphs you scrawled on the boxes with a permanent marker?”

“Yep.”

“Does it matter whether it’s red or black?”

“Yep.”

“Red is more dangerous?” Ianto suggested.

“Exactly.”

Accepting the explanation, Ianto nodded. “Can you make me a list of the symbols you used and their description?”

“As in right now?” Jack queried. At present, he was not in the right frame of mind to concentrate on his symbolism.

“At some point between now and tomorrow morning,” Ianto suggested.

“That will work,” Jack nodded.

“All right.”

Thoughtfully, Jack watched the young Welshman as he sat in the old chair, his back straight, his head held high. One of his hands rested on an armrest, the other on his thigh. Its relative proximity to his groin made Jack’s thoughts drift to impure spheres. While he did his best to school his features into a neutral expression, he wondered what that hand could do, to him or to Ianto himself. What would it be like to feel that hand on his skin? How would it tingle when it slowly moved from his pectorals across his stomach to more sensitive regions? He could imagine that hand doing things to him that he had better not think about too hard right now or it would cause physical reactions.

Noticing how Ianto rolled his eyes, Jack wondered if the latter already occurred.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?” the Welshman asked.

Instantly five different scenarios came to the captain’s mind, but instead he said, “No, Ianto. Thank you.”

“All right, sir,” Ianto confirmed and got up from his chair. “I’ll be in the archives then.”

“Fine with me,” Jack replied, even though he wished the young man would stay much, much closer to him.

Giving a short nod, Ianto got up and left the office, leaving an uncomfortably agitated captain behind.

 

tbc…


	13. A close call

A few hours later, Captain Jack Harkness was on edge. No, scratch that. He was about to go nuts.

His coat was gone!

When they returned from their mission and he did not see it on its hook on the coat rack, he assumed that he remembered wrong and took it down to his room below his office. Reassured by this assumption, he spared no further thought about it and tried to focus on his work. He even began to write his list for Ianto until he could not find it in him anymore. Then he climbed down the ladder to get his coat and finally have a better look at it to see how badly it had really suffered…

…and it had disappeared.

The greatcoat did not lie on his bunk.

It did not hang in the wardrobe.

It was not in the bathroom.

It was not thrown over the backrest of his chair.

It was definitely _not_ in this room.

Climbing back up, Jack searched his office. No trace of the coat.

Jack stood in the middle of his office and trembled with anxiety. He could not remember what he might have done with it. The last time he saw it, it hung on the coat rack. At least that was what he believed to remember. Now it was miraculously gone and Jack felt like a piece of himself was missing. The greatcoat was not just a thing that kept him warm or protected him against wind or rain after all. It represented memories and was an embodiment of a turning point in his life. The mere idea that it might be lost caused Jack physical pain.

“Jack?”

“What?” the captain barked and spun around to find Owen in the entrance.

“I finished Murphy’s autopsy,” the medic stated and came closer.

Stunned, Jack took a deep breath and released it audibly. Did so much time pass or was the doctor unusually fast today?

“What did you find?” Jack forced himself to ask in a reasonable tone.

“The young man suffocated,” Owen explained. “I can’t tell why or how, though.”

“Was he strangled?” Jack queried.

“Didn’t I just tell you that I don’t know?” Owen growled. “There are petechial hemorrhages in his eyes that are a clear sign of asphyxiation, but I could not find any haematomas that indicate strangulation.”

“His airways could’ve been blocked,” Jack suggested.

Owen shook his head. “I found no indication. As there was no water in his lungs, he did not drown either.”

“Well, how should he have drowned where we found him?” Jack mused aloud. “He wasn’t anywhere close to water.”

“I couldn’t find any marks around mouth and nose either that would suggest that someone held them closed.”

“What about his larynx?” Jack queried. “If it spasmed he wouldn’t get any water into his lungs, right?”

“That’s true, and right now that’s the only explanation I can think of,” Owen confirmed. “There are no irritations in his throat or oral cavity. Nothing that indicates external forces.”

“But people usually don’t asphyxiate by themselves, Owen.”

“I know. Tell that to the corpse down in the med bay!” the medic frayed. “Do you know any aliens that could’ve done that? Maybe a telepath?”

“Telekinetic strangulation?” Jack chuckled. “Sounds interesting.”

“Too bad we can’t ask Murphy,” Owen declared, “he could tell us how he died.”

A chill ran down Jack’s spine at the medic’s words. Not for the first time, he was glad that his team members did not know about his unique state. He could imagine all the questions or that Owen would love to experiment on him. Not that there were any tests that Torchwood did not conduct on him yet, voluntarily or involuntarily. Still Jack had no answers.

“Well, we _could_ have asked him…”

Turning toward the voice, they found Suzie standing in the doorway.

“What do you mean?” Owen snapped. “He’s dead.”

“I know,” Suzie shrugged. “But maybe we could’ve changed that.”

While Owen snorted an incredible laugh, Jack’s interest was piqued.

“How?” the captain prodded.

“The glove, Jack,” Suzie explained and her features lit up with eagerness. “I think that’s what the glove is for!”

“To do what?” Owen incredulously snarled, “wake up the dead?”

“Bring them back to life.”

“That’s not possible, Suzie,” Jack told her and felt another shudder course through his body at the lie. He knew only too well that there were things in the universe that could not be explained or at least not be grasped by human understanding.

“And I think it _is_ possible,” she insisted. “Of course it doesn’t work if the body’s disembowelled like a Christmas turkey.”

“Stop kidding,” Owen grunted.

But Jack became curious and said, “Tell me more about it.”

“You don’t believe that crap, do you?” Owen challenged.

“I need to hear more before I decide what to believe or not,” Jack shot back. “Suzie?”

“Well, Jack, if you would actually _read_ the papers passing your desk you’d know that I reported about my first studies on the glove that was washed up in the docks last month.”

“Then tell me about it now,” Jack commanded.

“It’s doing resurrection!” Suzie excitedly went on. “It looks like there’s a limit built in, but it seems like anything dead that you touch with the glove will be reanimated.”

“You really are kidding, right?” Owen huffed.

“No. One minute and twenty-two, Jack!” Suzie heatedly declared. “That’s the longest I managed so far, but I don’t think I’ve reached its limit yet! You can believe me, it brings back thedead!”

“You already tested that?” Jack queried.

“Sure I did! I was tasked to examine the glove and find out what it does after all!” Suzie insisted. “So that’s what I did! I brought backa fly… and a goldfish!”

“How long have they been dead?” Jack demanded to know.

“They’ve been dead between ten seconds and ten minutes.”

“Ten seconds to ten minutes?” Owen cut in again. “Did you kill them so you could conduct your tests?”

“I did what I had to do,” Suzie told him flatly.“But it could be important! Imagine what we could do! It’s an amazing thing!”

Her enthusiasm was infectious and Jack loved her dedication. She was easily excited by new and mysterious things and dove into a task with everything she had.

“Jack?” Toshiko asked, peering in around Suzie who still leaned in the doorway.

“Yes, Tosh?”

“Something’s going on, Jack,” the computer expert told him. “There was a 999 call about an unidentified assailant.”

“What’s that got to do with us?” the captain wanted to know.

“The woman who made the call said something about it being a foggy shape before itdissolved and became invisible. She screamed and began to choke. Then the call ended in white noise.”

“Oooo, creepy,” Suzie chuckled.

“Our first victim was suffocated,” Jack stated flatly before Owen could. “Let’s have a look at this new case. Suzie, bring the glove. Let’s see what it can do.”

“All right,” Toshiko confirmed and hurried to gather her scanners and PDA.

A moment later, they were on their way back out to the SUV. Jack climbed in behind the steering wheel and chased the car out of the underground garage and through the streets of Cardiff. He was fully concentrated on the coming mission. For now the vanished coat was forgotten.

 

xXx

 

Which probably was the reason why Ianto remained unchallenged. With the team being gone nobody noticed him emerge from the bowels of the Hub around six o’ clock. If Jack would have asked about his coat someone might have pointed out that Ianto had been the only one at the Hub who could have taken it, and that would have inevitably led to Jack confronting the Welshman about the missing coat.

As it was, though, the Hub was vacant when Ianto came up from the archives. Realizing he was all alone, he deduced that the team was called away again. Part of him was angry that nobody had cared to tell him that they left for a mission while another part told him that they probably did not have the time to go down to the archives and let him know.

_I should really get one of those earpieces. Guess they even forgot I’m here._

Ianto toyed with the idea of going home as his workday was officially over by now, but something held him there. As he did not feel like returning to the archives, he went to restart the coffee machine in order to have a fresh brew when the team returned. Then he strode down to the storage room where he had spread out the greatcoat on a rack to dry. In said room Ianto had found a fan heater that he put to good use, setting it on _low_ so the coat could air dry without being exposed to heat. When he checked on the coat now, it felt warm and dry. So Ianto switched off the heater and took the coat with him to the archives where he set about repairing the damages.

 

xXx

 

At the same time, Jack had other problems.

Understandably but not necessarily desirably, the police were being difficult. A woman was dead and the constables wanted only one thing: preserve the scene for the CID and the crime scene unit to collect physical evidence. Torchwood did not mind them preserving the scene, but the more people contaminated it the more unlikely it became to find out what had caused the woman’s death.

To make matters even more interesting, fate had sent old acquaintances.

“I don’t know why we’re arguing,” Owen muttered under his breath and Suzie shrugged.

Jack chose just that second to cut a long story short and simply ignore the constables as well as the blue and white striped plastic cordon and pushed past the officers to approach the victim with long strides.

“You can’t go there!” the female constable yelled.

“Easy, Gwen,” her partner shushed her. “He claims they’re superior to us. Let’s call headquarters and see what they say.”

Still fuming, the constable caved and let the others pass.

“He’s regained some hair,” Toshiko snickered lowly as she stopped beside Jack and took her first readings.

“Oh, he’s the one who used the Bracosian depilation device?” Owen said, unnecessarily gaping at the police officer.

“Constable Davidson just couldn’t listen to my warnings,” Jack grunted with barely concealed amusement before he forced himself to be earnest, “Now, Owen, what do you think?”

Squatting beside the female body, Owen cast a first look at the seemingly untouched flesh. Slipping on gloves, he reached out for the woman’s blouse to push the collar back. No strangulation marks. Leaning closer, he sniffed at the body and opened her mouth to look at the oral cavity.

“Petechial haemorrhaging in her eyes,” he reported. “Seems to be the same cause of death.”

“Now that’s suspicious,” Suzie stated. “Maybe something _did_ come through after all.”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Jack agreed. “We need to find it.”

“Find what?”

Groaning inwardly at the pushy voice, Jack straightened up, bracing himself. Suddenly, he missed his coat dearly. Turning around, he fixated Constable Cooper with a stern gaze.

“The cause of death,” he lied firmly. “This case is our jurisdiction. I confiscate the body and the corresponding evidence. Please make sure nobody else enters the crime scene, Constable.”

“Who the hell are you?” she demanded. “You can’t just barge in here and order us around.”

“Oh, I can and I will, Constable Cooper,” Jack shot back. “Now go and keep your colleagues out.”

“What?” she gasped.

“Your crime scene investigators,” Jack elaborated with a nod at the people he saw arrive in a police van. “Keep them out.”

“But…”

“Now,” Jack insisted and the constable finally went to do as she was told. As she walked away, he watched her for a moment. When she and Andy had temped for Torchwood, she had shown an eagerness that was comparable to Suzie’s, full of joy at the unknown and mysterious. Now she was annoyed with the stranger who ordered her around and suspicious of the group that occupied the crime scene. It was a pity, but Jack could not think of any other way to maintain Torchwood’s secrecy.

Ianto and their discussion about Retcon came to his mind. Of course it would be easier if the people agreed to losing their memories, but what person who was in the right state of mind would do that?The survivors of Canary Wharf came to mind, and Jack was again reminded of how impressed he had been with Ianto. For some reason, he thought it would break his heart if the young man should change his mind and join those who would choose to forget the horrors of that day, but Jack would not blame him if he did. Starting a new life on a romantic lie of a tragic accident that stole his fiancée would, in many ways, be easier than living the truth of Torchwood.

A shiver chased across his skin and Jack wanted to draw the coat tighter around him, which made him conscious again of the fact that his coat was undiscoverable.

“Jack?”

“Yes, Tosh?” he replied absently and he only looked at her PDA when she nudged his arm.

“What do you think?” she queried.

“That you found something,” Jack told her vaguely. “Could be a creature. We need to check it out.”

“All right.”

Toshiko led the way, repeatedly looking at her PDA for confirmation. They approached an old warehouse with a fading white thirteen painted above the doors.

“Superstitious, anyone?” Jack murmured.

“Are you?” Toshiko asked with astonishment.

“Not really,” he shrugged. “Working for Torchwood I’ve seen too many things that were beyond belief.”

“Exactly.”

One hand resting on their respective weapons, the two Torchwood agents stood on both sides of the door in the gate and looked at each other. Silently, Jack counted to three and carefully opened the door. As they slowly stalked inside, their eyes needed to adjust to the twilight. Apparently, the warehouse was currently unused. Even though no goods blocked their view, the agents did not see any intruders.

“Where are they?” Jack whispered, reaching for Toshiko’s PDA.

Showing it to him, she indicated the far left corner. Still neither Jack nor Toshiko could make out where the aliens were. Or if there were any aliens. All Toshiko could tell with the help of her scanners was that something emitted radiation over there. Something that should not be here. Something that presumably had killed two people already. Something that obviously was dangerous.

Carefully, the Torchwood agents ventured into the open space, keeping an eye on the far corner where the beings were supposed to be.

“They’re splitting up,” Toshiko whispered, holding up her handheld computer. “See?”

“Yeah,” Jack confirmed after a quick glance at the screen. He was still trying to determine where, or what, the aliens were.

“Any idea yet?” Toshiko asked as if she was reading his thoughts. In fact it was experience that made her ask. Jack simply knew a lot of alien creatures and technology, and if anyone could tell what they were confronted with it was their captain.

“No,” Jack had to admit. “What exactly are you measuring?”

“Rift radiation,” she told him, meaning the temporal and spatial background radiation anything coming through the Rift picked up during transition. “It was too low to be measured at the Hub.”

“Okay.”

Considering that the beings still were invisible suggested a possible reason why the radiation was not that high: they simply did not have enough mass.

Looking closer for rather small life forms, Jack slowly moved forward. He felt a prickling at the back of his neck. His instincts told him that this had to be handled carefully.

“Stand back,” he murmured and Toshiko paused.

Checking on her PDA, she said, “They’ve stopped.”

“Where?”

“About thirty yards away, one’s closer to the long wall the other to the short.”

Narrowing his eyes, Jack kept searching. Maybe the creatures were camouflaged. If they were they were pretty good chameleons as they were still invisible. _There!_ Was he mistaken or did he notice movement?

“Tosh? Did they move?”

“A bit to the side,” she confirmed.

“Okay…”

Jack’s bad hunch intensified. Racking his mind, he tried to recall whether he knew any creature that could hide itself like this, but to no avail. Undecidedly, he stood in the middle of the empty warehouse. All he knew was that the beings were dangerous and needed to be contained. So far, he had no idea how to do that.

Staring at the same spot for what seemed like forever now, Jack attempted to catch a glimpse like before. It had not been anything but a shimmer of air, not unlike a mirage.

_What are they?_

Slowly, he made a tentative step forward and all of a sudden his hair stood on end. Jack could not say that he saw something, but still his senses screamed alarm.

“Jack?” Toshiko said, sounding alarmed as well. “They’re coming closer, directly to your position.”

“Get out,” he hissed.

“What?”

“I said, get out.”

The captain’s breathing accelerated as he tried to brace himself. Asphyxiation was unpleasant to say the least, but he was willing to risk it if they could find out more about what they were dealing with.

 _Guess my secret won’t be a secret anymore then,_ he inwardly sighed and moved just a little bit further toward the alien.

“Jack!” Toshiko screamed. On her screen she could see how both dots shot toward the captain. She heard a rush of wind but did not feel anything of a breeze.

Jack on the other hand was well aware of the assault. A shimmer of the air was the first indication. Then he saw dust whirl up from the floor of the warehouse, small pieces of debris and paper being caught as well. It looked like a whirlwind and rushed toward him with incredible speed. He heard Toshiko’s scream a split second before the howlingof the air drowned her voice out.

Trapped in a localized twister, Jack could not even struggle. Instinctively, he had raised his arms to protect himself, but they were pressed against his body now that the air whirled around him with a force that robbed him of his breath.

_That’s why there were no strangulation marks! They died in a whirlwind!_

The realization fuelled panic. Despite having returned from every death he had died for over a hundred years now, Jack could not keep the fear at bay because he still was not sure that he could survive literally anything. Anxiety came every time he was about to die and being squeezed by a small tornado allowed Jack enough time to fully experience the unpleasant emotion.

His gasps for air remained without success and Jack felt his senses dwindle. There was another sensation that he could not place, like the whirlwind was taking something else from him, but maybe it was his life that he felt being drained from him just before he lost consciousness.

 

xXx

 

“Jack!” Toshiko screamed. Helplessly, she had to watch how their captain was caught in the whirlwind. Reaching up to her earpiece, she called for Suzie and Owen’s backup. Instinctively, she slowly moved backwards, away from the rush of air that held Jack captive.

“What happened?” Owen yelled as he stormed into the warehouse.

Pointing at Jack fighting his already lost fight against the force of the wind, Toshiko whimpered, “They got him.”

“What got him?”

“Two… something,” Toshiko muttered.

Suzie appeared behind Owen. She looked shocked by the scene.

“We’ve got to help him!”

“How?” Toshiko queried. “How do you fight wind?”

Being left without a clue, they stood and stared until Owen could not stand it anymore and moved forward.

“No!” Toshiko shouted and grabbed his arm. “Jack told me to get away! Don’t get caught by them as well!”

The medic was about to argue when the horrible pressure on Jack decreased and he slumped to the ground. Dust and bits and pieces were stirred up as the wind phenomenon turned in the direction of the Torchwood agents. Toshiko squealed as it quickly moved toward them and wrapped her arms around Owen. She could feel Suzie close behind them.

A gush of wind swept over them, showering them with the small bits of debris that it carried, and disappeared, the door swinging in its hinges as it was pushed further open.

“What the hell was that?” Suzie queried.

“Jack!” Toshiko shouted and ran, Owen right on her heels.

“The wind sucked the air right out of him,” the medic stated, falling to his knees beside the captain and placing both heels of his hands on Jack’s chest. “Breathe for him, Tosh!” he commanded as he began to pump. “One, two, three, four, five… breathe! Again!”

Feverishly they worked on reviving their leader who lay limp on the concrete floor.

“Oh, my God,” Suzie whispered, finally catching on to what had happened. “Can you help him?”

“We’ll see,” Owen grunted. “Three, four, five…”

As he trailed off, Toshiko blew air into Jack’s lungs. She desperately hoped that it helped.People who drowned could be saved like this, she knew that. Would it help Jack as well? Once more, she breathed for him.

Arching up beneath them, Jack gasped for air. A series of coughs followed. Every single one sounded painful and Toshiko reached out at him comfortingly. It took a moment until the captain could breathe properly again and fell back to the ground. His breaths still sounded a little rattling.

“Was someone kissing me?” he croaked, eyes still closed.

“Nooo,” Owen grunted and sat back. Rolling his eyes, heemphaticallygroaned, “Bugger! He’s already back to his old self.”

Toshiko cried hot tears with relief and Suzie released a breath she did not know she had been holding.

“You sure?” Jack queried and finally opened his eyes.

“You’re incorrigible,” Owen spat. “It was resuscitation, nothing more, nothing less.”

“You?” the captain smirked wickedly.

“No. Tosh.”

“Thank you,” he smiled up at her. Seeing her tear streaked face, he added, “Easy. I’m fine.”

“We thought we lost you!” Toshiko sobbed.

“But you didn’t,” he said and tried to sit up. It made him feel a bit nauseous. “Could you gather any data when they attacked me?”

“What…?” Confusion spread on Toshiko’s face. “You expected me to…” she trailed off, losing track of what to say. Instead, she looked at her PDA to see if it continued to scan and which data it could offer. She scowled. “I need to examine this closer,” she said. “Besides, it’s creepy to be here. Can we go back?”

“Yes,” Jack nodded and regretted the motion at once. “The aliens certainly are gone. Let’s bag the body and return to the Hub.”

Owen helped him to get up and offered him his shoulder as support as Jack staggered along. Still feeling queasy, he left it to his team to pack up the woman’s body and carry it to the SUV. Suzie argued with detective inspectors of the criminalinvestigativedivision. Jack was glad that his team took good care of everything. Once more, he wished he had his coat. He wanted to wrap himself up into the warm wool, using it as comfort as well as a shield against unwanted questions.

Now that he had a moment to gather his thoughts, he realized that only one person had been present when the coat disappeared and he intended to have an earnest word with him, which was a polite description of what he imagined to do when he got back to the Hub.

Realizing that it was dark by now, Jack looked at his watch. _Ianto probably went home already._ Well, that would not keep him from punishment. The worst thing Jack could imagine was that the Welshman thought the coat was beyond repair and threw it away. The mere idea made him shudder and his insides clench painfully.

“We’re ready to go, Jack,” Suzie insistently declared. Probably not for the first time.

Nodding, he followed the others to the SUV and readily allowed Owen to drive.

 

tbc…


	14. Twisted approaches

Checking his watch, Ianto realized that it was not quite eight in the evening. Straightening his back, he raised his arms and stretched upward, left and right and to the back to work the kinks out of his sore muscles. A yawn escaped him and Ianto was surprised by how tired he was.

_Maybe due to the sewing. I don’t have the best light down here, but I want it to be a surprise after all, so it’s not advisable to do it right in the central Hub where the captain can watch._

Once more, he let his hand run over the wool and smiled, being content with his work. He put the coat back onto a hanger and hung it on one of the shelves so he could gather up all the things he needed before he went up to the main Hub. The coat went onto the coat rack and a list Ianto had compiled for Jack onto the desk. His grumbling stomach made the Welshman aware that it was evening already and that he had not eaten since his lunch break.

_Which applies to the others as well._

For a moment, he thought about ordering takeaway like pizza or Chinese, but as he had no way of knowing when the others would return, he refrained from it. The thought of food reminded Ianto of his spidermice, but he had left a handful of chopped fruits as well as a small bowl of cat food for them so they should still be adequately supplied.

_I could get some sandwiches. No. What am I thinking? They’re perfectly capable of getting themselves food when they can._

Standing between the vacated workstations, Ianto felt left out. What should he do with himself now? Go home? It did not feel right.

_I really should get one of those earpieces. Then we could keep in touch._

For a moment, the Welshman contemplated if he should go back to the archives but if he was honest he could not stand the sight of anymore files tonight. As his gaze drifted to the sofa and the chest serving as a table in front of it, he sighed. Team Torchwood definitely did not know the definition of the word _order_. He piled up the magazines that were scattered on it, picked up some wrapping papers that he tossed into the bin, and took a mug with some leftover coffee to take it to the kitchenette. On the way there, he collected two other mugs and was about to wash them when he heard the door of the armoury open.

“You don’t have to perform the autopsy tonight, Owen,” Jack told the medic sharply. All he wished for was to be on his own. “We know what happened. Go home.”

“First I’ll give you a once over,” Owen insisted and tried to shove Jack toward the med bay.

“I’m fine! Leave me alone!”

“If it was anyone else you’d be pestering me to do a thorough check-up!” Owen snarled, intent on not letting the captain get away. “The sooner we start, the sooner we’ll be done!”

“No.”

From up on the catwalk, Ianto had a good view across the whole Hub. He saw Toshiko emerge from the armoury as well while Owen now stood at the entrance to the med bay, arms crossed over his chest and fixating Jack with a death glare.

“I’m waiting,” Owen grumbled.

“You can wait until hell freezes over!” Jack barked. Only four short days had passed since they came back from London which were not enough to recover from the multiple deaths he had suffered, especially as he had been working his ass off. He was so terribly tired. He needed a break. So he had to fight to keep his desperation out of his voice when he demanded, “Tosh! What are you doing here? Go home!”

“Suzie brought the body to the elevator,” she stated as she walked up the stairs to the gantry. “Please, let Owen make sure you’re all right.”

“I _am_ all right, Tosh,” Jack sighed and wished for a genie that would transport his co-workers home. “Now leave me be.”

“Those… _things_ almost killed you, Jack,” Toshiko all but whined. “Please. We just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“She’s right, Jack,” Owen grunted. “C’mon! Just a look with the Bekaran scanner.”

Ianto found that Jack looked positively dangerous when he rounded on the doctor and the computer expert, “What the hell do you want from me? Why can’t you take my word for it? Now get out of here before I really get angry!”

While Toshiko flinched away from him and retreated back down the stairs to get to the cog door, Owen stood his ground.

“What’s the matter with you?” he thundered. “We could be done already instead of screaming at each other! You’ve been cranky ever since we left the scene! What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s that to you?”

“You’re our leader, Jack! I’m the doctor and you’re not well. You’re my responsibility!”

“Fine!” Jack pouted, “I’ll release you from your duty!”

“You’re firing me?” Owen gasped incredulously.

“Get the hell out!” Jack screamed and grabbed the first thing he could lay hand on which happened to be the stack of magazines Ianto had sorted earlier and forcefully threw it at the medic. One of them hit Owen’s forearm when he brought it up to protect himself. The others scattered on the floor.

“Fine,” Owen huffed. “Have it your way.”

Pivoting on his heels, he bounded down the stairs and left through the armoury. As soon as the door fell shut behind the doctor, Jack threw his head back and let out a long, high-pitched roar of fury and frustration. When he paused to gasp for breath, his gaze fell upon the catwalk and the Welshman who still stood at the kitchenette and watched the scene with mixed emotions. Seeing the pale blue eyes bore into him with barely suppressed rage, Ianto shivered.

“You!” Jack hoarsely thundered, pointing at Ianto as if he aimed with a gun, “My office! Now!”

Ianto choked on the lump that suddenly stuck in his throat. What had he done wrong? With trepidation, he put down the mug he held in hand when the others returned and went to the staircase.

Jack stormed into his office, trying to think of another outlet. As mad as he was right now, he might do something to the newest addition to his team that he would regret tomorrow. On the other hand, he knew that the punishment had to match the crime. He could not just reprimand Ianto and let him go his way. He had to come up with something more impressive and right at that moment that was a thorough spanking. The captain got as far as his desk when he stopped dead in his tracks and spun around.

_My greatcoat!_

With widening eyes, he stared at his beloved coat and how it draped down the coat hanger on the stand. It was right where he had left it, and for a split second, Jack wondered if he had imagined that it was gone, but something was odd about the picture. He rarely put the coat onto a hanger, just on the hook, and it appeared rarely neat. Someone had cleaned it. Someone had mended it. Someone called Ianto.

Slowly turning his head to look over his shoulder, Jack noticed a thermos flask and a fresh mug sitting right next to a handwritten list. Suddenly, he had a frog in his throat and he had to support himself on the backrest of the chair standing in front of his desk as he felt slightly nauseous. His breath caught in his lungs and his lips started to tremble as he realized that he had done the young man wrong.

To Ianto it looked like rage when he carefully entered the office, still wondering what was going on, and addressed Jack with a tentative, “Sir?”

Being barely able to speak, Jack pressed through gritted teeth, “Did you take my coat?”

“T-to clean it, sir,” Ianto croaked. Seeing the captain shiver, he feared another eruption like the one that hit Owen. _He can’t even look at me. It has to be bad._

It was all Jack could do not to scream again with frustration. Why did he take it all so wrong? Why did he not learn? Had the Doctor been right when he said he would be bigger on the inside? As it was, he did not prove him right. And what would Rose say to his lack of empathy? Both she and the Doctor would be horrified.

Fighting for what was left of his composure, Jack rasped, “Why didn’t you ask?”

“I…” Ianto choked. “I wanted to d-do something for you. To express my gratitude for… getting me out and… well, for doing what you’ve done during the crisis and after, asking UNIT to cooperate and to arrange proper funerals and…”

Ianto trailed off. He was not sure why he defended himself as he did not think that he had done something wrong.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have asked, but… I wanted to surprise you.”

In his emotional uproar, Jack first could not believe what he heard, but when the Welshman’s words finally sank in he gasped for breath. All of a sudden, his world began to spin around him, he swayed, and tried to turn the chair around. Missing as he sat down, the chair toppled over and Jack came to sit on the floor instead, almost hitting his head against the desk, while the chair landed on its side.

“Sir?” Ianto called out and rushed to his side. “Jack, are you all right?”

Jack tried to answer but only a sob bubbled out of him. His eyes filled with tears that spilled down his cheeks and with every gasp for air his breath hitched in his chest.

Wrapping his arms around the captain’s shoulders, Ianto tried to steady him. He felt him sag against him and held him tighter, using one hand to rub circles on his back.

“Shhh,” he soothed. “Easy. Everything’s all right, Jack. Take a deep breath. C’mon.”

Jack tried to follow Ianto’s instruction and sobbed instead. He could not wrap his head around how someone he barely knew could be so considerate. It was more than anyone had done for him in a very long time. The gratefulness that filled him had become something strange to him and he still struggled with his emotions.

At the same time, Ianto tried to guess what made Jack dissolve in tears and suspected that it had something to do with the mission.

“What happened, cariad?” he murmured close to his ear as he leaned Jack’s head in the crook of his neck. With one hand, he kept rubbing soothing circles on the captain’s back while he ruffled his dark hair with the other. “Did the mission go awry?”

“Hmmm?” Jack sniffled and put his arms around Ianto’s muscular form. It felt so good to be held like this.

Realizing that he was being too forward, Ianto muttered, “Sorry. It’s not my place to ask.”

Jack gasped. He was not sure what to do. Fresh tears threatened to fall. _How can it be that this man, this child, is so much wiser than his years suggest? How can he be so understanding?_ _He deserves an answer. Not the whole truth, but something._

After a moment’s thought, he told him, “Something happened to me. When I was travelling with the Doctor. I don’t know…” His strength seemed to bleed out of him and he leaned against his desk. Did he want to tell Ianto about how the Doctor had left him behind? It felt so right to talk to him. He watched the young Welshman how he sat on the floor, waiting, but not prodding. After a short while, he saw him tense and shift his position to get up.

“We were separated and I tried to meet the Doctor here, but my vortex manipulator was malfunctioning, taking me to the wrong time… and then it burnt out, getting me stranded.”

“Your what?”

“Never mind,” Jack warded off with a soft chuckle. It was fascinating how Ianto focused on the technical thing instead of the mystery surrounding his existence. Or did he do it on purpose? “It took me some time to travel to Cardiff, and when I finally got here I could not find him.”

Ianto nodded. “That’s why you were so disappointed that you missed him in London.”

 _Disappointed?_ Inwardly, Jack cringed and he had to bite back a bitter laugh. _Oh, Ianto! The understatement!_

“You have questions,” Ianto simply stated.

“Yes.”Jack was stunned at Ianto’s incredible insight.

“And while you were waiting you created something you can be proud of.”

Jack paused. _Maybe his insight’s not quite that incredible._

“No,” he said. “No, I’m trying to build something that the Doctor can be proud of.” Jack saw Ianto’s features darken and wondered what was wrong. “Ianto?”

“Isn’t it more important to build something that _you_ can be proud of?” the Welshman challenged.

Stunned, Jack gaped at him.

“You know why I came to Cardiff?” Ianto queried.

“Why?”

“Because I was curious about you lot here,” Ianto explained. “And because I believed what Dr. Markham told me about you. That you’re not like Torchwood One. That you’re trying to make a difference.”

Jack swallowed a fresh lump in his throat. “That’s not… I’m not the hero you think me to be.”

“Are you kidding?” Ianto puffed. “After everything you did? You fought the Cybermen in Cardiff. You fought the Daleks. You came to London to save what was left to save. You saved me! And now you’re telling me you did nothing special?”

“Yeah,” Jack croaked. “Because I should’ve done more! I should’ve… done _something_!”

“Done what?” Ianto gently prodded.

“Stopped her!” it burst out of the captain with a suppressed sob. “I tried to figure out what those ghosts were. I had a really bad feeling about them but I needed to know more and… well, that’s why I tried to find someone in London who would help me.”

“Markham.”

“Yes, but he did not know a lot about the project. He tried to learn more while we conducted our own experiments, but before any of us could gather enough information…” once more, he gulped down a frog in his throat, “the ghosts turned into Cybermen.”

“But, if you suspected the ghosts to be dangerous, why didn’t you confront Hartman with it?” Ianto demanded to know.“She should’ve seen reason then.”

For a long moment, Jack looked at him silently. Ianto waited. He sensed that Jack needed to take his time to answer to difficult subjects… if he answered at all. Ianto figured that as long as the captain did not change the subject or simply leave, chances were good that he would actually get an answer.

In point of fact, Jack did not think as much about _if_ he should answer but about _how_ he should explain himself.

“It’s complicated,” he finally said, staring at the concrete floor rather than at Ianto. “You know I’ve been with Torchwood for a long time, right?”

“Yes.”

Jack sighed. “Then you can probably imagine that I’ve had a lot of experiences with the Institute.”

“I think so, yes,” Ianto confirmed.

Secretly, Jack doubted that Ianto had any idea of what kind of evil he had encountered inside the walls of Torchwood. Still it was encouraging to know that he would not simply reject what Jack was about to tell him.

Seeing the captain shiver, Ianto smoothly got up from the floor and retrieved his coat. Gently, he put it around Jack’s shoulders. Returning the captain’s small smile, Ianto sat down beside him, leaning his back against the desk as well.

“I have to start earlier,” Jack told him. “Back when they began to build the tower, Yvonne asked me to come to London and give her advice about how to handle a space-time-rift. We were at the old headquarters so I never had an actual look at the location or the opportunity to take any readings. Yvonne explained to me that the tower was supposed to give them access to the apparently stationary breach in order to control it. We talked about the Cardiff Rift and how we dealt with whatever washed through. Yvonne’s assistant took notes and the director assured me she would contact me again if she needed further information.”

Again, Jack sighed.

“I should’ve known better.”

When Jack fell silent, Ianto knew better than to prod him. The captain would continue on his own when he was ready.

“You’re not the only one with a shady history, you know?” Jack finally said in a teasing tone. His smile, though, looked pained.

Confused by the change of subject, Ianto raised an eyebrow at the captain.

“Your youth sentence,” Jack elaborated and conceded, “Okay, it was shoplifting. Once. It’s just an example. Everyone makes mistakes. Some are bigger than others…” he trailed off. “What I mean is that Director Hartman was not any better than all the Torchwood bitches before. She kept track even on minor slip-ups.”

“You were prone to being blackmailed?” Ianto suggested.

Finally, Jack met his eyes.

“Yes,” he admitted.

Ianto nodded. “Did she threaten you or… did she know about Toshiko?”

“Toshiko?” Jack all but gasped. “What do you mean?”

“Well, she told me about how you got her out of the UNIT prison,” Ianto admitted.

“Oh.” Jack was honestly surprised. On second thought, though, could he see a friendship developing between them, so it was not that surprising after all. What was really unanticipated was that Ianto actually managed to worm his story out of him, but right now Jack did not care. It was liberating to be able to talk to someone, so he went on, “We were at work when the first _ghosts_ appeared on a late January morning. One of them showed up right in our Hub. Suzie and Tosh freaked for a second before we started to try and figure out what happened and where the _ghost_ was coming from. No such luck. After a minute the spook was over. We wanted to tick it off as a one-time appearance when the _ghost_ came back the next day and when it showed up more regularly we became worried.

“At the same time, the people got used to the ghosts. Some said they recognized dead relatives.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Ianto threw in. “Then the news started to air a _ghost watch_.”

“What about your flat?” Jack asked. “Was one of them in your flat?”

“Thankfully not,” Ianto snorted. “It was bad enough that they were out on our street.”

“I take it you were not a fan.”

“Definitely not.”

“We weren’t fans either,” Jack tried to pick up his thread.

“Except Owen,” Ianto chuckled.

“Not as much a fan as being fascinated by the hype around the _ghosts_ ,” Jack huffed. “Anyway, when the appearances became more regular, we became suspicious. I called Director Hartman, but her assistant just told me she was not available at the moment.”

Ianto chuckled wryly, “So much for her people skills.”

“Why are you saying that?”

“She prided herself with being a people person,” Ianto explained. “Called everyone by first name. Ludicrous.”

“Did she call you by first name, too?” Jack prodded.

“I seriously doubt she even knew I existed,” Ianto laughed softly.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Jack said. “There’s a note about your psychic evaluation in your file after all.”

The captain’s serious tone brought Ianto back to the subject. “I guess there was a lot she was informed about.”

“You can bet she was. To become director of Torchwood you’ve got to be a cross between a piranha and J. Edgar Hoover.” The way Ianto rolled his eyesmade Jack smirk. “You remind me of Lumiere and…”

“Walt Disney?” Ianto interrupted incredulously.

Grinning sheepishly, Jack admitted, “I love those movies.”

Laughing good-naturedly, Ianto smirked, “Who am I to judge? I’m into totally unrealistic spy novels.” When Jack smirked back, he asked, “So, who’s the other then?”

“Cogsworth,” Jack replied teasingly, “but I can also see a good deal of James Bond in you.”

At that, Ianto scowled, “What’s that supposed to mean? You think I’m as pinched as Cogsworth and as fickle as Bond?”

“No,” Jack shook his head and when he searched Ianto’s gaze, the ardent longing in his eyes sent shivers down the Welshman’s spine. “I think that you have Lumiere’s sense of duty and loyalty… and James Bond’s courage and incredibly good looks.”

When Ianto blushed, Jack chuckled. “And that’s exactly how I want you.”

For a moment, Ianto looked at Jack scrutinizingly before he challenged, “I seriously doubt that,” he paused, “sir.”

It took Jack a second to catch up on what Ianto meant, but then he laughed out loud. “You mean in bondage? Oh, Ianto! You’re incredible!”

“By the way…” Ianto prodded, “which Bond would that be? Connery, Moore, Lazenby, Dalton, Brosnan…?”

“None of them,” Jack murmured seductively and tentatively brushed his hand over Ianto’s thigh. “Even offering descriptions, novels leave the appearance of a character up to the reader’s imagination, so I believe I just found my ideal James Bond.”

“Careful, sir,”Ianto scolded, without trying to remove Jack’s hand. “This could be considered harassment.”

“Hey! You started it!” Jack complained, only to add with a salacious grin. “Would you like it if I’d harass you?”

“No,” Ianto said flatly.

Jack scowled and sat back. “Then I just lessened my chances for dating you?”

“Not necessarily.”

Jack smirked. “What are my odds anyway?”

“Hmmm… about thirty-eight percent in favour, sir.”

“I see,” Jack murmured. “That’s not that good yet, is it?”

“No, sir.”

Uncertain about how to continue they sat in silence. Neither of them had forgotten what they were talking about. The banter had been a release. Now Jack tried to find the right pace for his tale.

“It was mid February when I decided that I was fed up with being stalled by Hartman’s assistant,” Jack finally said. “I drove to London to confront Yvonne personally.”

“And this meeting didn’t go that well?” Ianto guessed.

“That’s one way to put it,” Jack sighed and started to talk:

_Snow was in the air on that late February morning and when Jack arrived at Canada Square in Canary Wharf the first flakes tumbled down from the dark grey sky. As he was early, Jack left his car in the underground garage and took a short walk around the plaza. His gaze went up the highest building in London, wondering just once more what was going on behind its walls._

_Taking a deep breath, Jack strolled back into the tower where he took the elevator up to the top storey where director Hartman had her office. Upon leaving the carriage, he was confronted by security guards and a member of Yvonne’s team who tried to stop him, but Jack did not care. Being in charge of Torchwood Three gave him authority with an A2 security clearance. He had the right to know what was going on._

_With long strides, he marched down the corridor, his greatcoat billowing around him when he entered the open plan office he had to pass on his way to the director’s office._

_Jack stopped dead in his tracks._

_The office had changed since he had last seen it. Back then it had been empty, the craftsmen just starting to work on Yvonne’s office. Now there were several desks with technicians working on their computers. The rear part of the huge room was empty._

_Most intriguing for Jack, though, were the two huge levers and energy cannons that were directed at the rear wall._

_Jack’s features darkened at the sight. A look at his wrist device confirmed his suspicions._

_“Captain Harkness, Director Hartman is not prepared to see you,” the assistant addressed him. “I must insist on you leaving this area.”_

_Abruptly swivelling around, his swinging coat adding a dramatic flair, Jack got in the young man’s face._

_“Prepared or not, I need to see her,” he said darkly. “As I can see, she’s in her office and she doesn’t appear to be too busy.”_

_With that, he pushed past the assistant and through the door in the shatterproof glass partition, breezing into Yvonne Hartman’s office._

 

tbc…


	15. Interpersonal skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long wait, but I was so busy preparing a cake for a competition that I lost track of posting. Enjoy!

 

_“Yvonne…” the assistant started to apologize as he rushed in right behind Jack._

_“It’s okay, Matt,” the director said, smiling at him. “I’ll talk to Captain Harkness. Thank you.”_

_Nodding, the assistant left Yvonne’s office, closing the glass door behind him._

_“What do you want, Captain?” Yvonne asked flatly, putting her folded hands on top of the file she had been working on._

_“Answers,” Jack snarled. “What the hell are you doing with the breach?”_

_“We’re controlling it,” Yvonne replied jovially. “You came all the way from Cardiff to ask me that?”_

_“Well, as you neither accepted nor answered my calls I believe my visit to be warranted.”_

_“Oh, really?” Yvonne said, amused. “I don’t answer to you, Captain. If anything, you answer to me.”_

_That stung. Jack was about to reply when she cut him short._

_“You severed the ties to Torchwood London, as you don’t get tired of pointing out. I don’t see any reason why I should respond to your questions.”_

_“Maybe because you asked for my advice,” Jack spat, refusing to back down. “Those cannons are not meant to control the breach. So tell me what you’re trying to do to it!”_

_“We’re working on a project of supreme national importance,” Yvonne said sweetly. “And I am neither willing nor feeling obliged to reveal anything about it to you. If you’ll excuse me now.”_

_Picking up a pen, she returned her attention to the file on her desk. Jack was ready to explode._

_“I won’t just watch you endangering the entire planet with your project, Director,” he snarled. “Do you have any idea what you’re dealing with? Do you know what those ghosts are? Or where they come from?”_

_“The ghosts are a side effect,” Yvonne stated dryly. “They are harmless. And yes, I know what we are dealing with. We even have statistics about the project. So I can assure you that we have everything under control. You can drive back to Cardiff and toy with your own rift.”_

_“Yvonne, I really believe that you should run more tests on the breach. I don’t think…”_

_“Exactly,” Yvonne interrupted him. “You don’t think. Otherwise you would think twice about confronting me like this. I might recall your request about seeing our secure archives if you don’t leave us alone.”_

_Jack scowled._

_“You asked for my help,” he told her. “I’m just concerned that control is slipping from your hands and…”_

_“And you might find the cells in our secure archives quite hospitable,” Yvonne cut him short, reaching into her desk drawer and putting a gun on the tabletop._

_Jack winced at the implication. She knew him. And Yvonne was callous. She would shoot him dead without flinching, and when he came back he would find himself in one of the cells._

_“In order to guard against misunderstandings… You are Torchwood property, Jack. Your liberty is at our discretion,” she advised with a sweet smile. “Become a threat and we won’t hesitate to incarcerate you.” Now her gaze became menacing. “I’m worried about your team, Jack. With you gone, nobody will stand between Miss Sato and UNIT. I’m afraid she’ll have to serve her life-sentence. Dr. Harper has conducted several unapproved experiments. He’ll lose his licence to practise medicine. And as Miss Costello certainly will stand by you, we will have to prosecute her with treason.”_

_By then Jack shivered with rage, seriously contemplating pulling out his Webley and shooting the director._

_“_ _Dear Jack,” she chirped, “I know how much you love to solve conflicts with your weapon, but_ _If I were you, I would withstand the urge to pull the trigger on me, drive back to Cardiff and forget about the ghosts. We’re capable of dealing with them. We do every day. And now excuse me, please. I have work to do.”_

“I managed to save face until I was in the elevator,” Jack rounded up his tale. “I don’t really remember how I got back to Cardiff even though I must have driven myself.”

When he trailed off he became aware of Ianto’s right arm lying across his shoulders as the young man leaned against him. His left hand lay on Jack’s left forearm, his thumb stroking soothingly. At the captain’s last words Ianto reassuringly squeezed his arm.

“You know,” the Welshman murmured, “when Toshiko told me about the conditions of her release I was appalled, but now I start to think that you had no other choice.”

“It was the only way to get her out,” Jack murmured and Ianto could hear the compassionate pain vibrating in his voice. “She’s not just a genius. She’s brilliant, strong, and kind… She didn’t deserve a fate like that.”

“I still don’t understand how they could do this to her if she only tried to save her mother.”

“You mean that UNIT should have considered the hostage situation to be extenuating circumstances?” Jack asked and saw Ianto nod. “Well, she still committed treason. Being incarcerated was better than being shot.”

Once more Ianto nodded. He had to admit that he did not think about it from this point of view before. _What would I do if I was put into such a position? What could I do?_ His heart clenched painfully when he wondered what he would have been prepared to do for Lisa. She had died to buy him a little more time. A little more time that would save him in the end. Tears lurked in his eyes.

“What could she have done?” he asked.

“She should’ve told her superiors,” Jack tonelessly said. “It would’ve been a counter-intelligence case, so I think MI-5 would’ve dealt with it.”

“You mean she should’ve refused? Should’ve put her mother at even more risk?”

“There was no guarantee that the kidnappers would let her go anyway,” Jack told him sternly. “In fact Tosh told me that they did cheat, trying to force her to continue to work for them. Reporting the extortion attempt would’ve saved Tosh from prosecution…”

“And have further endangered her mother,” Ianto cut in. “Do you really think their chances were better if Tosh had reported the kidnapping?”

“Well, statistically…”

“Statistically,” Ianto huffed. “One can find statistics about _anything_. Doesn’t mean they’re anything _significant_.”

At that Jack had to chuckle. “So true.”

Not for the first time Jack let his fingers run over the wool of his greatcoat. It felt wonderfully warm and fluffy, as if it was new. Suddenly the suspicion was back and he asked with confusion, “Ianto, this _is_ my coat, right?”

Scooting away from him Ianto scowled at the captain.

“What kind of question is _that_ , sir?”

Biting his bottom lip with a sheepish grin Jack shrugged lopsidedly, “A logical one. This feels like new.”

“Slide your hand into its right arm, sir, and feel right below the shoulder. Then you’ll know that it’s _not_ new.”

Doing as he was told Jack inspected the coat’s inside and found a hardly noticeable seam. Once more he bit his bottom lip. _I did him wrong again._

“I’m sorry,” he murmured and felt his voice fail, “You worked a miracle, Ianto. And all I can say is: Thank you.”

“You’re welcome… Jack.”

That made the captain smirk. “Seriously, Ianto. I’m very grateful and… and I’m so sorry for doubting you and getting so angry before I knew the facts.”

“You were really pissed off because it was gone, right?” Ianto said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve asked.”

“Yes…” Jack conceded, “but I’m really touched by the thoughtful thing you’ve done. Please accept my invitation to take you out to dinner, as an apology for believing you could do something so horrible…”

“So horrible as what?” Ianto gasped.

“So horrible as disposing of something as personal as a coat without asking.”

Ianto was stunned beyond words and could just shake his head with disbelief.

“I’m really sorry, Ianto,” Jack pleaded. “Allow me to take you out to dinner.”

Once more Ianto shook his head.

“No, sir. You’ve done so much more. Not just for me. For so many other people. Cardiff. London. The whole world. Mending your coat was a small thing to do.”

“But I did you so wrong by assuming the worst,” Jack insisted, helplessly trying to reach out for the young Welshman even though he knew he would reject him. “Please. Just dinner…”

“Apology accepted, sir,” Ianto firmly told him and smoothly got up. Taking hold of Jack’s outstretched hand he pulled him up to his feet. “You’re ruddy tired, so I’ll ignore you getting soppy. You can buy the team’s takeaway the next time.” Straightening the coat he smiled at Jack and said, “If it’s any consolation, your odds just rose to forty-five percent in favour.”

The ridiculous smirk that cracked the captain’s features made him laugh. Reaching out for him Ianto straightened out a fold in his coat and Jack wished those elegant hands would touch his skin instead. When he tried to take Ianto’s hand the Welshman avoided him.

“Careful, sir,” he muttered. “I… can’t do that. Too soon.”

“I know, Ianto,” Jack replied gently. “I thought I made clear that I’m respecting that. I know I’m being forward… but I’m not stupid.”

“Yeah.”

“Can we keep up our game, though?” Jack smirked. “I really love it.”

“Our game, sir?”

“Flirting, rejecting, counting my odds…” Jack clarified. “You’ll let me know when it’s time for dinner, right?”

“Yes, sir,” Ianto agreed and meant it. Actually he was glad that Jack was not empathic. Otherwise he would notice that Ianto did indeed feel it. As soon as the gloomy mood lifted from Jack he sensed it again, the desire and his animalistic attraction, and could not deny the effect.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Jack said. “And thank you again for mending my coat. You don’t know how much it means to me.”

Ianto thought that he got a pretty good idea after experiencing Jack’s wrath and desperation but refused to mention it.

“I made you a thermos of coffee, sir,” he said instead. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Sure,” Jack teased with a lecherous grin. “But that would sooo exceed going out for dinner.”

“Careful, sir. That could be considered harassment.”

Jack laughed. “Is that going to be your favourite saying while you’re here?”

“That depends,” Ianto teased with a broad smirk. “You don’t want me to reduce your odds again, do you?”

“No way,” Jack shook his head. This game was so sweet and painful at the same time. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“You’re welcome.” As he could cheer Jack up again, Ianto thought he could try and address one of his worries. “Um, Jack… about the spidermice.”

“Uh, uh!” Jack waggled a finger at him. “Don’t ask me. You of all people should know that I’m not on best terms with those critters.”

“I know, Jack,” Ianto agreed with a shy smile. “It’s just… what shall I do with them? I can’t keep them at my flat forever. The cage is way too small for them.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you coaxed UNIT into giving them to you.”

“I accept that you don’t want them here, but maybe you have an idea where they’re better off than with UNIT.”

All Jack could offer was a helpless shrug.

“What about Edinburgh?”

Jack shrugged. “You can ask Archie if he’s willing to take them in.” Seeing Ianto’s disappointment, Jack said, “But you don’t want to give them away… I understand that, Ianto. I… just can’t stand them. Keep them if you find a way. Just make sure they’re not discovered. I trust you to keep our secrets.”

“Of course,” Ianto assured him. “What do you think of me?”

“Only the best,” Jack said with a broad smirk, his thoughts drifting to other spheres again.

 _Incorrigible,_ Ianto thought.

“Well, it was worth a try,” he said. “Good night, sir.”

“Good night, Ianto.” _And, ohhh, how do I wish I could take you in my arms. Just for a hug._ Inwardly he sighed as he watched the Welshman leave his office.

Walking away was not as easy for Ianto as it appeared to be. There was a part of him that wanted to give in to the charming captain, but as he had told him, the time was not ripe for them yet. So Ianto picked up his bag from the chest in passing and returned home to take care of his spidermice and prepare for another day.

 

xXx

 

“Now, aren’t you glad the Welshman has his own bedsit now?” Suzie teased as she followed Owen into his apartment.

“Huh?” he kind of burped. Neither of them was quite sober anymore. After two pints apiece at Eddie’s diner they decided to take their thirst elsewhere and as Owen’s flat was much closer to the bay they went there.

“Well, I guess I wouldn’t be here now if he’d still occupy your couch, right?”

“Actually, he took the bed,” Owen said as he opened the fridge to get out the beer. He popped two open and held one out for Suzie.

“You let him have the bed?” she laughed and took a swig.

“I was in doctor mode,” Owen shrugged and toed off his shoes before he padded to the sofa.

“You like him.”

“You make it sound like an accusation,” Owen huffed and dropped onto the couch.

“Well, I don’t know what to make of him yet.”

“Did you inherit Jack’s suspicions at anything Torchwood One?”

At that she grinned. “Probably.”

“I think he’s okay,” Owen shrugged, taking a drink from his beer. “I spent some time with him while he was trapped and he didn’t appear to be as narrow-minded as the others there.”

“Probably,” she repeated and knelt on the sofa beside him, her left leg dangling over the edge as she sat. A crooked grin played around her lips when she took a gulp of her beer. “I still don’t understand how he convinced Jack that he’s on our side.”

“There’s a side?”

“Of course there is. Jack didn’t sever the links to headquarters without a reason.” She shook her head and drank again. “No, I mean our captain’s thinking with the wrong head again.”

At that Owen chuckled. “And that surprises you? It’s Captain Jack we’re talking about after all.”

Putting her right arm on the backrest Suzie rested her head in her hand and sipped on her beer again. She eyed Owen intently. “Do you trust Ianto?”

Quirking an eyebrow at her he replied without a lot of contemplation, “Yeah.”

“Why?”

Owen shrugged. “I do. He’s got wit and courage… he was good when we were in the secure archives. Shot that predator, too.”

“He’s an archivist,” she kept bugging. “One’s archivist. And still Jack gives him a free hand. Who knows what he’s doing down there in the vaults.”

“God help us, he might be organizing them,” Owen said in mock dismay. “We’ll never find anything again.” After finishing his beer with two more gulps he burped and put the bottle onto the coffee table. Turning to Suzie he mumbled, “Stop worrying. You know Jack doesn’t trust easily. One hint at the Welshman playing a wrong game and not even his sex appeal will help him.”

Suzie still did not look convinced.

“What can I do to make you forget your worries for a while?” Owen smirked lecherously and reached out to thread his fingers into her dark curls. Taking hold of her hair he pulled her closer and their lips met in a feverish kiss. “Does that help?” he grunted when they broke up to breathe.

“A little…”

Taking her bottle away he put it onto the table, too, and leaned back in. Their kisses became more passionate and their hands roamed across one another’s body until…

…an inappropriate sound made Suzie back off.

“Ewwww, Owen! Really? We’re snogging and you fart…? Eeeewwwww!”

“It escaped me,” he murmured sheepishly.

“Make sure it doesn’t escape you again or I’ll be the one escaping.”

“Won’t happen again,” Owen promised and reached for Suzie’s blouse, fumbling open the buttons.

“It better not,” she threatened as she pulled his sweater over his head.

Owen’s vest followed as well as Suzie’s blouse and bra. Sharing more kisses they groped at each other. Her breasts were so wonderfully firm under his hand and teasing her nipples made them even harder. Without breaking their kisses they fumbled their zippers open and wound out of their trousers. Having no clothing left that restricted their motions they sprawled onto the couch, legs tangling and kissing heatedly, striving for their union.

 

xXx

 

Opening the door to his bedsit Ianto was surprised by an unexpected sight. Toshiko sat on the sofa, playing with one of the cuddly spidermice. It ran up her arm and over her shoulder. Before it could get into her hair Toshiko blocked its way with her hand. When it sat on her palm she lightly petted it with two fingers.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Ianto. Sorry,” she apologized. “I didn’t feel like going home. Your landlady let me in.”

“It’s okay,” he assured her. “How are they?”

“Fine, I think.” Toshiko smirked at the little creature she held. “They’re fascinating.”

“Did you feed them?”

“Yes. I gave them water, too.” She smiled at him. “They seem to behave now.”

“They still need another home,” Ianto sighed and put down the bag and carton he carried. Should he tell her about his conversation with Jack? He decided against it. “Do you like pizza?”

“That depends. What’s on it?”

“Um… a bit of everything,” Ianto smirked and sat down beside her, turning the carton around to push back the cover. “What do you think?”

“Well, that’s not meat feast,” she chuckled and got up to return the spidermouse to its comrades in the cage. “They’re sooo cute!”

“It’s not much meat on it,” Ianto stated. “Just some chicken.”

“What else?” Toshiko queried, sitting back down with him.

“Hmmm, red onion, artichoke, feta, tomato… sweet corn, mushrooms, chilli peppers.”

“What cheese is this?” she asked, bending forward for a closer look.

“Oh, um… mozzarella and cheddar.”

“Interesting choice.”

“Tastes good together,” Ianto shrugged and tried to pick up a piece of pizza. “Hmmm…” Getting up he went to the tiny kitchenette in the corner of the room. It was just a board with a small sink, a microwave, and an electric kettle. On a board above stood a few dishes and a small stand with cutlery. Ianto returned with two plates, forks, and knives.

“Makes things easier,” he chuckled.

“Indeed.”

As Ianto put a piece of pizza on each plate, Toshiko quickly went to wash her hands. When she sat down beside him they tucked in. For a while they ate in silence that was finally broken by Toshiko.

“Was he very mad?”

“Who?” Ianto mumbled around a bite.

“Jack.”

Gulping his food down Ianto said, “Yes and no. He didn’t have a reason anymore when he entered his office.”

“Ianto!” Toshiko gasped. “Did you really take his coat? Are you out of your mind?”

“It needed cleaning,” he shrugged and took another bite of pizza.

“As cranky as he was on the drive back I was a little worried,” she explained. “He had figured out that only you could’ve taken it. Right then I thought he’d rip your head off.”

“Nah, he just screamed around a bit,” Ianto reassured her. “I’m all right… and he’s fine, too. Really.”

“Okay.” Toshiko could not stand it for very long, though. Her concern was clearly audible when she said, “Those things… they’re like whirlwinds and they attacked Jack. We had to resuscitate him. I wish he would’ve let Owen give him a once over. With the Bekaran scanner it’s really not a big thing.”

At her mention of resuscitation Ianto paused. It intrigued him that his colleagues did not seem to know about Jack’s strange ability. They had worked with him closely for years after all. Ianto himself was still trying to wrap his head around the idea that the captain was immortal.

“I guess he was just a bit sensitive because of the shock,” he suggested. “When I left he appeared to be all right. Brooding a bit, but okay.”

“Good.”

They finished the pizza off in companionable silence. Ianto could sense that something was still weighing on Toshiko’s mind, but he was far from asking. If she wanted to talk she would address the matter on her own accord. His gaze drifted to the cage where the spidermice settled in their nest of silk threads.

“They’re sleepy,” he smiled.

“It’s late,” Toshiko stated with a lopsided shrug. “We should be sleepy, too, but I’m too wound up.”

“Yeah, so am I,” he agreed. “The captain and I had an intense talk and it’s still going round my head. It’s hard to come to rest.”

“And how’s the archiving going?” Toshiko asked in an attempt to change the subject.

“Good,” Ianto drawled. “It’ll take a while.”

“Yeah, sorry. Our archiving is kinda… innovative.”

At that Ianto laughed softly. “Nice euphemism.”

“It’s nice that you’re here, you know,” she murmured and scooted a little closer to lean against his side. “We can talk so well with each other.”

“Don’t you talk with the others?”

“Well, we do talk, but… not so much after work.” She snuggled against him and put her head on his shoulder. “I’m just not on the same wavelength with Suzie and Owen, well, Owen’s not interested in… talking with me.”

Smiling to himself Ianto put his arm around her shoulders.

“I guess he just hasn’t noticed yet how brilliant you are because he never comes out of his med bay,” he softly chuckled. “I’m sure he’d be crazy about you once he has a better look.”

“Sure,” she huffed against his shoulder. “That’s why he’s shagging Suzie.”

_Oh._

As Ianto was not sure about what to say about that, he did not reply.

“They really need another home,” Toshiko murmured. “The cage is way too small for them. We could take them to one of the unused store rooms and…”

“No!” Ianto stopped her. “No. Not to the Hub. If one should get near Jack… unimaginable!”

“Okay… but where else could they go?”

“We’ll think of something.”

Sinking a bit deeper in the cushions Ianto leaned his head back. It was nice to sit with a friend like that. Toshiko’s presence was very welcome as he simply did not have to be on his own with his brooding. Now he just tried to relax which worked so well that he fell asleep while Toshiko was snoring softly in his arms.

 

tbc…


	16. Incorrigible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I finished (and won) NaNoWriMo, I should be able to post more regularly. Sorry for the wait. Enjoy!

 

When Ianto arrived at work the next morning, Toshiko was already at her workstation, checking if she could find any trace of the whirlwinds. They shared a knowing smile before he went up to the kitchenette.

They had woken up in the wee small hours and Toshiko had decided to go home to catch a few more hours of sleep in her own bed. So Ianto had gotten to stretch his sore limbs as well.

A moment later, Suzie entered the central Hub. In the same clothes as the day before as Ianto noticed. One look at Toshiko was enough to tell him that she recognized it as well. With a small sigh, Ianto turned to the coffee machine to prepare the brew for the morning meeting. He was sad for Toshiko, knowing that she had more than just a little crush on the coarse medic.

As soon as Ianto spotted Jack emerging from his office, he filled four mugs, put them on the prepared tray, and took everything to the board room. Entering from the other side, Jack beamed at Ianto appreciatively and the Welshman thought he was delighted to get some coffee until Jack said, “Love that suit.”

“Careful, sir,” Ianto told him as he placed the mug in front of him on the tabletop. “You’re working on getting decaf for the rest of the day.”

“I can’t believe someone as lovely as you could be so cruel,” Jack pouted.

“Believe it, sir.”

Ianto distributed the other mugs and sat down with his own.

“All right,” Jack said. “Tosh, any sign of the whirlwinds?”

“Sorry, Jack. No trace of them yet. I’m about to set up a program that collects data from weather stations. It should be able to alert us if they appear again.”

“Okay. Suzie, I’d like you to give me a detailed report about the glove before I’ll agree to further experiments.”

“Consider it done.”

“All right… Ianto, I’ve talked with Ydris and he agreed to go to Tasmania with our tigers. Can you wrap up the preparations with him?”

“Sure.”

“Great,” Jack grinned. “Well, I’d like you to have an earpiece so we can contact you here when we’re in the field. Could you do some computer research if necessary?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Ianto agreed.

“Good. Tosh, set it up for him when you’ve got your program running, okay?”

“Yes, Jack,” she confirmed.

“Now where’s Owen?”

At that, all the others could do was share questioning glances and shrug. Toshiko glowered at Suzie, wondering if she knew more.

“Maybe he overslept,” the technician suggested.

“Well, that’s it for now,” Jack decided to finish the meeting. “You know what to do and I’ll ring up Owen.”

They all filed out of the boardroom and Jack returned to his office where he grabbed the phone as he sat down to dial Owen’s number. The medic answered after the eighth ring, his voice heavy with sleep.

“What are you doing at home?” Jack asked. “There’s an autopsy waiting for you.”

“You sacked me, remember?” Owen grunted.

 _Not sleepy,_ Jack decided. _He’s hung over._

“Well, you should have known I didn’t mean it.”

“How? I relieve you of your duty, were your words,” Owen snarled. “You didn’t contradict me when I asked if you fired me either.”

“I expect you at work in half an hour.”

“Bugger off.”

Jack had a feeling as if Owen was about to hang up on him. He did not have the nerve for that. “You don’t want me to come over to get you, right?”

“Will I get to examine you if I come back?” Owen challenged.

“Of course not,” Jack stated flatly.

This time, the young doctor grumbled something unintelligible.

“Owen, how long have you been working for TW? You’ve never insisted on routine medical examinations. Why start now? It will only make more work for you.”

“You died, yesterday, Jack,” Owen reminded him.

Suppressing a shudder, Jack replied, “And you saved me. I’m fine now, doctor. Consider it a job well done and get back here and get to work.”

“Slave driver!”

Before Jack could think of a come back, Owen had hung up.

 _Wow, he’ll be hard to bear today,_ Jack thought. Leaning back in his chair, he wondered if he forgot something. Some coffee would have helped him think, but by now his mug was empty already. _I should ask Ianto for more._

Watching the young Welshman talk with Toshiko made him think of something he should do in the very near future. He was looking forward to it, but first he had to deal with Owen.

 

xXx

 

As soon as Owen entered the Hub, Ianto sensed the tension rise. As he did not want to appear overly curious, he excused himself to the archives and greeted the medic on his way to the tunnel. Still he could not help but furtively watch how Jack, adorned with his coat, flounced out of his office to meet Owen at the entrance to the med bay.

“Nice of you to drop in,” Jack announced loud enough for Toshiko and Suzie to hear. “You’re only about an hour late.”

“First you sacked me, then you called to tell me I had half an hour… and now you’re surprised I’m late?”

“As a matter of fact, I am,” Jack growled, getting into Owen’s face. He still could smell the alcohol on the medic’s breath.

“Well, I’m surprised that you are,” Owen huffed and pushed past the captain to get down the stairs. “You still want that autopsy?”

“Yes,” Jack declared, standing at the banister atop the med bay, feet apart and hands on the rail. “You better get started.”

Smirking devilishly, Owen turned around and leaned against the autopsy table, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, and I still want your exam.”

“You can be the one cleaning the cells for the next week,” Jack suggested.

“You want an efficient doctor, right?” Owen challenged and saw Jack nod. “What kind of a doctor would I be if I would let it slide and say ‘okay, Jack, have it your way and skip the exam’?”

“One who respects the wishes of his patients.”

“An irresponsible one who’s putting his patient’s health at risk,” Owen shot back. “And what kind of an example are you giving us as our leader?”

That hit close to home.

Jack could feel the gazes boring into his back and knew that there was no way to back out of this challenge. For a moment, he wished for an alert to interrupt and get him out of this mess, but it did not come.

Coat swinging, he bounced down the stairs and towered in front of Owen.

“You’ll check if my respiratory system has suffered and nothing more,” he declared. “I’m fine and all you’re gonna do is confirm that.”

“Fine,” Owen retorted and grabbed a sphygmomanometer. “Blood pressure, too,” he declared. “Roll up your sleeve and hop on the table.”

Cursing in a foreign language, Jack did as he was told and allowed Owen to take his vitals. Then the medic examined him with the Bekaran scanner. The whole matter did not waste more than three minutes.

“Now, was that so horrible?” Owen snarled when he stood in front of Jack, once more his arms crossed over his chest. “Go back to harassing the archivist and let me perform the autopsy.”

Fleetingly, Jack imagined what might happen if he suffered a death that he needed longer to come back from and Owen started to do an autopsy on him. The idea was so unsettling that he hopped off the exam table and virtually fled the med bay.

Only for a second, he contemplated to breeze down to the archives and talk with Ianto, but his pride stopped him. Thankfully, he saw Yvonne stroll into his office, so he retreated there and smashed the door shut.

 

xXx

 

Taking a break with Yvonne, petting his calico cat and playing with her, relaxed Jack enough to return back to work. He filled out a report about last night’s mission and answered a call from UNIT. It was early afternoon when Owen knocked on his door and handed in one of the shortest autopsy reports Jack had ever seen, confirming that the woman had died of asphyxiation.

Another hour passed uneventfully so Jack was delighted when Ianto entered his office, carrying a mug of coffee. He thanked him but Owen’s words still ringing fresh in his ears he refrained from teasing the Welshman. It was about a minute or two after Ianto had left the office again when Jack realized how stupid he was to let himself be curbed by the medic’s tactless comment.

Shooting up from his seat, Jack sprinted to the door and called out, “Ianto!” Seeing that the young man was on the phone, he waited until he had finished his call before he commanded, “Come with me to the shooting range.”

“Why?” the young man replied, slightly confused. “I don’t do field work.”

“But you still need to be able to defend yourself,” Jack shrugged. “You had regular shooting practice at One, right?”

“Yeah,” Ianto growled, putting his own mug down.

“Well, I didn’t see you shoot yet. I just want to assess your proficiency.”

Reluctantly, Ianto started toward Jack who was on his way into the tunnel. He could have pointed out that he had shot the predator down in One’s Secure Archives, but he was not sure how much Jack really had noticed after the creature’s attack. How long did it take him to revive? Even though the scene had felt like forever, everything happened so quick and Ianto did not pay attention to the captain as he was confronted with the predator.

“Chin up, Ianto!” Owen shouted from where he reclined on the sofa. “You’ll do all right! Just make sure Jack keeps his weapon holstered!”

That was not really what Ianto was worried about while he followed Jack deeper into the bowels of the Hub. Guns just were not his thing, so he disliked weapon training.

“C’mere,” Jack encouraged when they entered the shooting range, gesturing Ianto to step up beside him at the shelves where an assortment of handguns was stored. “Pick one.”

Ianto scowled. He was familiar with most of them and finally chose the one he knew best, a .357 SIG. Jack handed him a clip with ammunition and he loaded the gun.

“Which target?”

“What about that weevil?” Jack nodded toward the cardboard alien that was about thirty yards away and put on ear protectors.

Taking a deep breath, Ianto nodded and put the weapon down to follow Jack’s example. Then he took the gun and made two steps aside. Breathing consciously, he raised the weapon to aim and released two single shots. While one grazed the target’s contours the other went right past it.

“Wait a moment,” Jack commanded.

Ianto let his arms sink, pointing the gun at the floor. “Don’t interrupt. I’m trying to get into the flow.”

At that, Jack chuckled. “Let me show you something.”

“Oh?” Ianto scowled. _Your own weapon, proving Owen right? I didn’t think you’d be so_ _artless_ _. Especially not after our latest conversations._

He had reason to doubt, because by now Jack was so close beside him that Owen’s earlier warning sure was warranted. A soft chuckle brought Ianto back to the present.

“You know, the tales about my exploits aren’t necessarily exaggerated,” Jack murmured with clear amusement, “but I wouldn’t be so tactlessas to simply unsheathe my sword. Don’t you agree?”

Biting back a smirk, Ianto had to agree, _Yeah, you’ve got more class than that._

Putting his arm around Ianto’s shoulders, Jack manoeuvred him around so he was facing the side, “Turn sideways to the target. Single handed.”

Standing behind Ianto now, he guided his hand down the younger man’s arm toward the gun. Simulating holding a gun, he slowly raised his hand from there, “Looking along your shoulder…” toward the target, “down your arm, a straight line to the sights.”

_Right, that’s more like you. Subtle and dangerous… and what is that delicious smell?_

Right at that moment, Ianto could not even follow Jack’s demonstration. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, inhaling more of Jack’s pheromones that went straight to his head. Then he turned his head according to Jack’s instruction and tried to concentrate.

“Okay,” Jack murmured. “Bring up the gun.”

Of course the captain had ulterior motives, but he knew when to reign himself in. In his mind set, he could enjoy this game for as long as he did not overdo it… and he did enjoy.

Being confronted with Jack’s heated closeness, Ianto forgot everything he had learned in London and brought the gun up way too quickly. As a result, Jack stopped him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!”

Taking Ianto’s wrist, he put his gun arm back down and grabbed his shoulders toward him. His touch sent hot sparks through the Welshman’s body.

“Too fast,” Jack whispered close to his ear, which made Ianto’s skin tingle.

All Ianto could do was to concentrate on his breathing as his throat threatened to close. He felt his lips tremble and Jack put his hand over Ianto’s in order to bring up the gun toward the target.

“It’s all in the breathing,” Jack explained calmly, more calmly than he felt. “Hold it firmly… don’t grip it.”

 _Breathing. Yeah._ Ianto still tried to concentrate solely on that, which proved to become more and more difficult the more often Jack touched him. Turning his head, he returned his attention to the weevil shaped target.

Behind him, Jack took up his position again, this time using his left hand to hold Ianto’s hips firmly against his own. The slight motion had a big impact on Ianto and it was all he could do not to accidentally release a shot.

“Breathe in,” Jack commanded, breathing in with Ianto. “Focus.”

 _That’s what I’m trying to do!_ Jack held his hand steady at the target but it became increasingly difficult for Ianto to think about shooting practice. _Unless you count that other way of release as shooting that you need to practice._ He had to smirk at his thought and hoped that Jack did not catch up on it.

“Breathe out…” Jack murmured, obviously fully concentrated on the target down the range.

Listening to the captain’s voice, deep and husky now and full of desire, Ianto had to draw a shaky breath first, before he could follow the instruction. Pulling himself together, Ianto hoped to blank out Jack’s flirting long enough to be able to prove to him that he could handle the gun and concentrated on the shot he was about to deliver.

“Squeeze gently.”

That was it.

Snorting a laugh, Ianto doubled over and lost his aim. Involuntarily, his backside ground against Jack’s groin which sent sparks of excitement through the Welshman. It could not do more to him, though, as, miraculously, the laughter made the tension that had built between the two men evaporate. Ianto just found this pretty hilarious. Gasping for breath, Ianto choked down his laughter, straightened up again, and summed his sudden realization up with, “I see, you want to test my shooting skills while being distracted.”

“Why?” Jack murmured innocently close to Ianto’s ear, brushing his fingertips along the Welshman’s left side and his breath tickling on his neck. “ _Are_ you distracted?”

Feeling the hand alight on his left hip, Ianto was more than a little distracted and returned to his reliable defence mechanism, “Actually, sir, this could be considered harassment.”

“I thought you liked being harassed,” Jack rasped seductively.

This time his charm failed to work. With fresh resolve, Ianto tightened his hold on the gun and took a steadying breath. Fixating on the target, he carefully aimed, felt for the trigger point…

“Nope.”

…and fired the rest of the magazine on the cardboard weevil.

Following the bullets with his gaze, Jack saw them impact, five in the weevil’s forehead, six in the bulls-eye on its chest. The holes were so close together that Jack did not think that Ianto had missed, when he spotted the last point of entry between the weevil’s legs

 _Ianto sure made his point,_ Jack thought, backing off.

“Wow,” he gasped. “That weevil won’t bite anyone anymore.”

“Thank you, sir,” Ianto said, removed the ammunition clip and held the gun out to Jack who took it reflexively. “Looks like I just needed the right motivation.”

Momentarily at a loss of words, Jack shook his head before he belatedly came back with, “I’m glad we found it.”

“Is there anything else you want to teach me?”

“Well, some close combat would be advisable,” Jack stated.

“I didn’t need to learn that at One,” Ianto deflected and could actually see how Jack’s tension dissolved as well. What had been meant as banter had hit too close to home, so Ianto tried to save it, “Guess we’ll have to start from scratch.”

“Yeah, that might be better,” Jack agreed. “We shouldn’t start it today, though.”

Ianto nodded. “Well, did I pass the shooting test?”

“Yes!” Jack assured him. “Brilliantly.”

“All right, sir,” Ianto said. “If that’s all I’ll return to my duties then.”

“Sure, Ianto,” Jack replied. “Go ahead.”

Nodding curtly, Ianto put the ear protectors down as well and turned to leave, still making sure that Jack was able to catch a glimpse at the mischievous smirk that cracked his features.

Overwhelmed by sudden amusement, Jack called out, “Don’t forget to make fresh coffee!”

Walking over to the shelves, he took off his own ear protectors and returned the gun to its stand. It was always interesting how new recruits reacted to his weapon training. Each of them, first Suzie, then Toshiko, and finally Owen, had to go through it. Of course it was meant to explore the candidate’s shooting proficiency, but secretly it was also Jack’s test to see if the agent was going to be able to deal with him. So far they all had excelled.

Taking down another gun, Jack returned to the shooting range where he put the poor cardboard weevil over the edge by removing its head with a few well aimed shots. The other bullets impacted in its chest or went right through the hole Ianto had produced. Satisfied, Jack returned the gun to its place and strode up to the main Hub. Toshiko and Owen were at their respective desks and Suzie just got started unpacking two bags with Chinese takeaway onto the chest-table. All three of them turned to him expectantly.

“Jack, c’mon!” Suzie shouted invitingly. “We’ve got enough!”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Jack smirked but positioned himself between them with an impressive stance, his hands akimbo. Looking sternly from one to the other he asked, “Now… who warned Ianto about my weapons training?”

For a moment, they managed to maintain their clueless expressions, but then Owen doubled over laughing, and since he had been sitting slouched in his computer chair with his feet up on the desk, he soon found himself on the floor. He did not care. He was still laughing.

Jack scowled. _I should’ve known._

Giggling at Owen, Toshiko shook her head and replied, “It wasn’t me.”

“Ianto’s clever, Jack,” Suzie pointed out with a smirk. “I very much doubt that he would have needed any kind of a warning.”

“I didn’t,” Ianto said briskly, magically appearing with a tray of fresh coffees. He served Suzie first, then Toshiko, then bent to let Owen take his mug off the tray. The medic was still half reclining on the floor chuckling and trying to catch his breath. “You may be secretive, sir, but there are times when you can’t seem to help but telegraph your intentions. If anybody warned me, it was you.”

Jack had the good grace to blush at first, but when he heard Suzie and Toshiko giggling at his expense, his scowl returned. Snatching his coffee off the tray, he intended to flounce out of the rec area in a huff, but as his movement was too brisk the dark brew spilled all over him.

“Serves you right,” Owen snickered as he got up and recaptured his chair.

“Talking about serving… I don’t think that he’s earned dinner after his escapades,” Suzie teased.

“Never underestimate the Welshmen,” Toshiko joined in with obvious pride.

“Hey! Don’t gang up on me!” Jack pouted, noting with astonishment and joy that his computer expert and the archivist were bonding. “No fair!”

“Groping me while I was concentrating on the shooting test wasn’t fair either,” Ianto stated matter of factly. “Considering your childish behaviour at the shooting range, your odds have dropped to thirty-five percent in favour. Sir.”

Jack looked crestfallen.

It was all Owen could do, not to drop back out of his chair with laughter.

“Ignore them,” Ianto suggested, letting one fingertip trail down Jack’s chest. “If you give me your shirt I’ll take it to dry cleaning for you.”

At that, Jack’s eyebrow shot up and one of his trademark grins cracked his features. Without hesitation, he shed his braces, removed his shirt, and held it out to the Welshman. All Ianto could do was roll his eyes.

Roaring with laughter, Owen gasped, “You should’ve known!”

Toshiko just cast one look at Ianto and was certain that he had known well enough what his innocent challenge would provoke Jack to do.

“Sit down, sir,” Ianto said, putting the shirt over the handrail. “You don’t deserve it, but as you need your strength for work I ordered _chicken on a stake_ for you.”

“What the heck is that?”

“Chicken kung po with vegetables and peanuts, extra spicy.”

“With chilli sauce?” Jack beamed.

“Yes, sir.”

“My favourite!” the captain cheered. “Ianto, you’re brilliant!”

“Will you ever sit down?” Suzie queried. “It’s getting cold.”

Being asked so nicely, the two men joined their colleagues and a friendly banter continued over dinner.

 

tbc…


	17. A shocking demonstration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos. :)

“Do you have any idea what to do about those whirlwinds, Jack?” Toshiko asked as she put the empty bowl down on the chest.

Unfortunately, Jack had no idea.

“Don’t we have anything in our armoury that could affect it?” Owen queried.

All Jack could do was shrug.

“May I ask what you’re talking about?” Ianto threw in. “Nobody told me what the mission was about.”

“Well,” Jack carefully started, “whatever came through is invisible. Despite its appearance as a whirlwind it seems to be intelligent. Actually, there were two of them and they moved purposefully toward my position.”

“They attacked you,” Toshiko interrupted. “You scared us all to death.”

“They killed him to be exact,” Owen grunted around his food.

“Do you want to be praised for saving me now?” Jack snarled.

“No, just stating a fact,” Owen shrugged. “Those things are dangerous.”

“What did they do?” Ianto asked and felt Suzie glare at him.

“They suffocated him,” Owen explained in Jack’s stead. “The force of the wind took his breath away.”

“How does that work?”

“It’s like when you’re walking in a storm,” Owen tried to elaborate. “The wind blowing in your face doesn’t allow you to breathe in. It’s like your throat’s closing up against it.”

Thoughtfully, Ianto nodded.

“But what can we do to stop them?” Toshiko prodded.

“I still have no idea,” Jack admitted.

None of the others could come up with a suggestion either. They did not even know if the program Toshiko had written would actually alert them of further activities of the whirlwinds. The conversation died away and Owen polished off the last of his pork Szechwan.

Ianto noticed that Jack was brooding again, but with the rest of the team being present, he did not want to ask him about what was bothering him. Actually, he was pretty certain that he knew what was on the captain’s mind, and that the matter was nothing he would discuss with the others.

Leaning heavily against the sofa’s backrest, Jack furtively looked at the Welshman and their gazes met. A small smile quirked the corners of Ianto’s mouth. It warmed the captain’s heart. He hated being clueless and he hated that the others’ curiosity had been piqued after his most recent death. As long as there was a chance that he could avoid them finding out about his immortality, he would take it. Ianto showed compassion without being intrusive. Something Jack appreciated.

“Huh?” Toshiko startled. Looking down, she discovered the cause of her affright. “Yvonne!”

The red, black, and white cat had touched her calf as she tried to squeeze past her in order to get to Jack. She strolled around Suzie’s legs and nudged her head against Jack’s shin.

“Hello, love,” he smiled. “Are you hungry, too?” Noticing that she carried something between her fangs, he purred, “Do you have a gift for me?”

“Ewww!” Toshiko had seen it as well now.

Owen quirked an eyebrow and Ianto could guess what it was. Only Suzie became really excited.

“Oh, brilliant!” she cheered. “Do you mind leaving it to me for testing?”

Toshiko grimaced at the idea. “What for? Do you want to dissect it?”

“No, Tosh,” Suzie beamed at her. “I want to bring it back.”

“Bring it back?” Honest confusion carried in her voice as she had not been present when Suzie told Jack and Owen about what the glove could do.

“Yep!” Suzie agreed excitedly. “I’ll go get it!”

Before Jack could even think about a reply, she jumped up from her seat and darted over to her workstation where the metal glove was propped up for examination. It did not take her a minute to return with the artefact.

“Now, where’s my mouse?” she prodded.

It lay to Jack’s feet where Yvonne had deposited it before she hopped up onto the sofa to get in Jack’s lap. There she lay now, purring happily as the captain gave her a good scratch on her neck and petted her tummy.

“I’m not picking it up,” Jack stated.

“Neither am I,” Toshiko warded off.

Smiling mildly at each of them, Suzie leaned down and took the mouse by the tail, lifting it up and placing it into one of the empty food containers. “You have no problems handling human bodies, but touching a little mouse is too much to ask?” she chuckled.

“Didn’t say that,” Jack pouted. “Didn’t want to disturb Yvonne.”

While Toshiko smiled warmly at him, Owen theatrically rolled his eyes.

“Never mind,” Suzie said and put on the glove, feeling the slightest tingling start.

Squirming around in Jack’s lap, Yvonne hissed.

“Sorry, did I tickle you?” Jack chuckled, holding her close and petting her head. “Go on, Suzie.”

“Hold your breaths.”

As Suzie moved closer, Yvonne started to growl and back up, working her way, rear end first, right up Jack's front and onto his shoulder.

“Oh, come off it,” Suzie grumbled at the cat. “Not like you haven’t seen alien tech before.”

Now crouched on the back of the sofa behind Jack’s head, Yvonne peered out at Suzie with her ears laid back and spat at her.

Jack gave his cat a curious glance and said, “Must be some kind of energy signature she doesn’t like.”

“Yeah,” Owen was quick to agree, “Like a dog hearing a dog whistle or something.”

Reaching into the food container, Suzie lightly touched the dead mouse with the glove and concentrated. Yvonne made a low, vicious sound in her throat. The others could hear a faint buzz and suddenly the mouse pedalled, rolled over and began to struggle to get out of the carton.

With a demonic shriek worthy of a made-for-television movie mountain lion, Yvonne fled the couch at top speed, claws tearing into the upholstery. She flew from the backrest and into the nearby passage and vanished into the bowels of the Hub in the blink of an eye.

“Whoa!” Owen called out. “It really works!”

“For about two minutes,” Suzie stated.

“And then?” Jack asked. He had pouted for a moment over his cat being frightened away, but then he was as interested in the glove as the rest of them.

“Then it’s dead again,” Suzie shrugged. “I didn’t figure out yet if that depends on the amount of power being transmitted through the glove or if it’s a safety mechanism.”

“Probably the latter,” Jack said.

“It’s incredible!” Toshiko marvelled at the mouse in its prison.

“Isn’t it?” Suzie cheered. “Imagine what it could do! Imagine it working on humans! Exploring what’s coming next! We could ask them about what’s on the other side!”

Jack did not quite share her excitement. Having been there, he could not see the thrill in the subject. He was not the only one who reacted rather sceptical.

“What about you, Ianto?” Toshiko tried to get his reaction. “Don’t you think it’s impressive?”

Ianto was not sure how he should answer her enthusiastic query. The cat’s reaction did not escape his attention, mirroring his own worries. He knew animals had a sixth sense when it came to danger.

“It _is_ impressive,” he carefully agreed. “But, Suzie, did you ask yourself if you should do it in the first place?”

“What do you care?” Suzie hissed.

Jack’s head whipped around to her, which clearly displayed his surprise, at her question and especially at the venom in her voice. He thought they had settled that matter.

“That’s hardly your concern! You’re just the archivist after all,” Suzie took the same line.

“Suzie…” Jack growled.

“Barely a week after a Cyber-invasion caused by the negligence and presumptuousness of Torchwood One’s directorate, you shouldn’t need anyone else raising that question for you,” Ianto spoke firmly.

“This is hardly comparable,” Suzie hissed. “The glove only works on one individual at a time after all.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Ianto stood his ground. “I’m talking about general ethics.”

“It’s not wrong what he’s saying,” Owen shrugged. “I mean, this time it just was a mouse, but you’re talking about people, Suzie.”

“That’s why we need to explore it more!” Suzie was adamant. “It needs testing! Only then will I be able to tell what it’s doing.”

“No matter what it’s doing,” Ianto cut in again, “I don’t want to imagine the impact it would have on humans. You talk about bringing them back for about two minutes. What do you want to tell them? That they’re dead? And then what?”

“I really don’t know why we’re arguing!” Suzie frayed. “That’s nothing to you!”

“Suzie!” Jack hissed forcefully. “In my office.”

He got up and strode to his office without checking if she followed him. It was all he could do not to explode. All Ianto did was to address a serious matter. Actually, the captain had expected Owen to bring it up, but the medic seemed to be overwhelmed by the possibilities. Okay, Jack was considering to agree with Suzie, but they still had to take the counter-arguments into consideration.

Jack had already sat down behind his desk when Suzie entered behind him and he gestured her to close the door. She complied by pushing against the doorbut stood with her arms stubbornly crossed over her chest and glared at him.

“All right, Suzie,” Jack sternly said. “What’s up? What do you have against Ianto?”

“Nothing,” she said. “He’s a nice guy.”

“But something about him is driving you nuts!” Jack insisted. “What is it?”

“It’s not just that he questioned my intentions and ethics,” Suzie said. “It’s everything he’s doing! He came here to help a little with the archiving and now he’s responsible for shipping the Tasmanian tigers, he’s in charge of coordinating the handling of the surviving Torchwood personnel as well as the organization of the funerals in London.”

  “I’m sorry, I still don’t see the problem,” Jack said, and he was sincere on both counts. He really was sorry that Suzie was so upset, and he really did not see the reason why. It was not as if they did not have enough to do without the decommissioning of One and the continuing clean-up of the chaos caused by the Cyberinvasion. “If you can tell me right now that you are ready, willing, and able to take on the job, I’ll give it to you. I just didn’t have any idea you would want to do that kind of thing.”

  “I don’t,” Suzie told him.“I’ve got enough to do keeping the PM off your back. Besides, that’s not the point!”

  “Then what’s the matter? You don’t object when I assign Tosh or Owen a special project…”

“You’ve given him the additional responsibility without consulting me!”

Jack scowled. He really had thought they had settled that matter.

“You never cared when I expanded Tosh or Owen’s field of work. Why Ianto?”

  “Because he’s not one of _us_ , Jack!” Suzie insisted. “And if you weren’t thinking with the wrong head, you would know that!”

  And the penny dropped. It was easy enough for Jack to understand why Suzie would be suspicious of anyone coming from One, but Jack had a sense about Ianto, just as he had had about Suzie, Toshiko, and Owen, but even stronger. It was so strong, in fact, that he could not quite bring himself to contemplate losing the Welshman. The looks, the voice, the beautiful Welsh vowels, and the miraculous coffee all had something to do with that, but there was something deeper, something stronger that he had only ever felt once before, when he first set foot on the TARDIS. As amazing as he appeared to be, Jack was certain that Ianto Jones was bigger on the inside, and having Suzie question his instincts really pissed him off.

  “He is one of us _now_ ,” Jack hissed, trying to reign in his temper. “Because I say so, and as long as Ianto Jones is with us, I will use him when and how I see fit!”

  Suzie snorted.

  “I’m sure you will,” she sneered. “Enjoy him!”

  She stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her, and was all the way to the cog door before he understood what she had said.

  Jumping up from behind the desk and rushing across his office, Jack yanked open the door and shouted, “HEY! I didn’t mean it like that, and you bloody well know it!”

  When Suzie left without acknowledging him, Jack slammed the door and went back to his desk to brood.

  “Of course, it wouldn’t be a bad idea…”he murmured to himself but could not follow the thought through because Toshiko called out for him.

“What’s up?” Jack asked as he approached her workstation.

“I think I picked up on the whirlwinds’ activity,” Toshiko replied. “Have a look…”

Examining the readings displayed on the screen, Jack scowled. “Looks pretty erratic.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too,” Toshiko nodded, “so I was trying to find a pattern. So far I couldn’t find one.”

“What are you looking at?” Ianto asked.

“Toshiko could find a trace of the wind creatures,” Jack told him. “But it’s telling us nothing.”

Ianto leaned further in to have a better look at the monitor where he saw a Cardiff city map and a few dots of where the whirlwinds could have been.

“We should try to figure out what motivates them,” he suggested. “Why did they go to those places? Is there something they need?”

The others eyed him with astonishment.

“What could wind need?” Toshiko wondered aloud.

“But they’re not wind,” Ianto pointed out. “Wind is just a force of nature caused by the heating and the cooling of the land and the seas. It cares no more for its own survival than a pebble on a beach. These are _creatures_ that manifest themselves as wind in this environment. What would _they_ need to survive? What would they be looking for?”

“Space?” Jack mused. “Somewhere to go to.”

“What about our atmosphere?” Ianto asked. “Could it be that it’s different from the one the creatures are coming from?”

“Probably,” Jack agreed. His interest was drawn back to the screen when a new dot formed near the docks and grew. It was supposed to show the barometric pressure of the small twister, but as they watched, it took on a bright red shade, indicating a source of extreme heat.

“Whoa!” Toshiko gasped. “What’s that?”

“Owen!” Jack shouted. “We’ve gotta move out!”

Groaning, the medic got up from his seat. “I was afraid you’d say something like that.”

“C’mon, kids. We need to get to know more about those things.”

“Suzie’s gone,” Toshiko stated as she grabbed her equipment.

“I know,” Jack huffed and picked up another earpiece. “Ianto? Could you come with us? You can stay in the SUV at the scene. Maybe Tosh can show you on the way how to observe from there.”

“In that short time?” she gasped. “I should try and keep track on the winds as well.”

“I could drive,” Ianto suggested. “Is the system in the car so much different than the one here?”

“Not really.”

“I should be all right,” he said. “Just get me into the program.”

“Okay.”

They left through the armoury to the underground garage where their SUV was parked. It was the first time that Ianto actually got to see the black monster of a car that looked quite impressive with its compact build and the solid bumper. In his opinion it also was quite conspicuous with the big letters spelling TORCHWOOD on its sides.

“So much about being a secret organization, huh?” he chuckled as he got into the driver’s seat.

“Hey! Don’t say anything against our SUV,” Jack scolded playfully.

“Well, you know what they say about men and their toys, right?” Ianto teased.

Being about to get into the car on the passenger’s side Jack froze in mid-move, gasping, “What?”

Toshiko and Owen laughed.

“You really have the gift of the gab,” Jack grunted as he sank into his seat. Leaning closer to the Welshman, he murmured, “No wonder you earned a youth sentence for being lippy with the judge.”

“Oh, really?” Owen snickered. “I’d love to know what you said to him that made him lag you.”

“It was nothing,” Ianto shrugged as he drove through the underground garage. “I just told him that I thought how abiding by the letter of the law clouded his judgement and he should use his common sense to recognize the truth.”

“I can see why he was thrilled,” Owen laughed.

“I can’t see why that annoyed him,” Jack mused aloud. “Did you call him sir?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Great, that means he was pissed because he couldn’t bear the truth,” Jack huffed. “How very British.”

“There’s no sense in crying over spilt milk,” Ianto told him.

“Oh, I’d love to go to that judge and give him a piece of my mind about it!” Jack frayed. “If it wasn’t a youth sentence and the file sealed it could have had a much bigger impact on your life. I think he acted irresponsibly when he did not acknowledge your defence.”

“Easy, Jack,” Owen cut in. “You weren’t there.”

“But I could be…” he trailed off, realizing that that was not possible because he could neither go with the Doctor nor with his vortex manipulator that had burned out after taking him to earth in the wrong century.

“Wouldn’t that change history?” Ianto said thoughtfully. “Maybe, if you spoke up then, I might never join Torchwood. We’d never meet.”

 _True,_ Jack thought and eyed him closely. _That would be a pity. What I would’ve missed already… and oh the possibilities!_

“Jack? I have no idea what’s going on,” Toshiko broke in. “There are two sources of extreme heat near the docks. They’re moving, so I can just assume that those are the whirlwinds, but… Jack, what are we dealing with?”

Jack could not begrudge her that she sounded anxious. Not if he felt fear crawl across his spine as well. Once more, he looked over to Ianto who seemed to be calm and focused, but when Jack eyed him closer, he could see the tense muscles in his neck and how he was gripping the steering wheel.

 _He must be scared as well. Ianto’s an archivist after all. Of course, he went through basic training, but does that prepare him for something like this? Probably not. Though he has proven that he’s a very good shot._ Inwardly, he smirked as he remembered, _With the right motivation. Wow, this Welshman really is a piece of work._

_All right, Captain Harkness. Focus! You’re not here to think about Welshmen, as handsome and fascinating they may be. You’ve got to concentrate on the aliens. Wind. How do you catch wind? And why are the whirlwinds emitting so much heat now?_

“I can’t think of anything similar, Tosh. But we’ll figure it out and stop them.” And he fervently hoped that he sounded more confident than he felt. Turning his head, he cast a glance at Owen. The medic stared out of the tinted window, apparently lost in thought. _But maybe he’s just thinking about how he could get out of this._

As he furtively looked at Owen again, though, he noticed the set of his jaws and the sparks in his eyes.

_What are they doing here? Those whirlwinds killed two people already. They killed me. They’re pretty fast and deadly and there’s no telling why they attack at all. How am I supposed to protect my team? I should go alone. Yeah, let Tosh analyze the situation from the SUV and let her guide me. If I can’t stop those things then at least they’ll kill only me._

Of course, he knew that this was wishful thinking. His team knew what was at stake and they all joined Torchwood on their own free will. _Even Tosh who could still have declined and served her sentence._ By experience, he knew that neither Toshiko nor Owen let themselves be stopped by an order and he guessed that Ianto would react similarly if he believed the situation warranted his sacrifice.

Pride welled up inside the captain. Still pride did not help with the problem at hand. He had to come up with something quickly because by now they had reached the docks and in the distance, they could see the flickering light of a fire shine behind stacked containers. As soon as Ianto stopped the car, Jack jumped out and started for the next corner, Owen following close behind.

“Jack!” Toshiko shouted. “Owen! Be careful!”

Reaching the containers, Jack skidded to a halt and stared at a horrific scene.

 

tbc…


	18. Fire and ice

Ianto saw Jack and Owen stop and how they stared at whatever was hidden from his sight by the containers. All he could make out was the shine of the fire and a knot tightened in his stomach. There had been a fire on the storey where he had been trapped in the conversion unit. He only realized it when it died and never knew what the source had been, but this fire now still reminded him vividly and anxiety put him on edge.

“Ianto?” Toshiko’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah,” he lied and got out of the SUV to get in to the back seat instead. “Show me what I’ll need.”

In this situation, Ianto could not pay much attention to the customised interior of this beast of a car, with its computers and tracking devices, but he still acknowledged how impressive it was, “This is brilliant. Did you build it?”

“No,” Toshiko shook her head. “Here, this is giving you an overview of the area and here you can patch into the CCTV system…” Trailing off, she pulled up a camera view. The sight made both of them gasp.

 

xXx

 

“Jack? What the bloody hell is that?” Owen barked, using anger to force the fear out of his voice.

“I’ve got no idea,” Jack admitted.

A few yards ahead was one of the whirlwinds, twisting above a heap on the ground that was hardly recognizable as a body. What made it so terrifying was the fact that it was clearly visible due to the flames raging inside it. Obviously, the fire was consuming or rather feeding off the body.

With a clearly audible rush, the flames were blazing up and the fire twister was moving in their direction.

“Whoa!” Jack shouted and pushed Owen aside, offering himself as the better target.

The medic pulled out his gun and aimed at the fire devil, wondering at the same time what he was doing. Jack glanced at him incredulously before he focused on the fiery whirlwind again.

“Am I mistaken or is it slowing down?” Owen asked, sounding slightly high-pitched.

“Can’t tell.”

Jack really was not sure. He could not do more than watch. He racked his mind, trying to remember any occasion where they had been confronted with something like this, but it was fruitless. The being or creature or however you wanted to call it was unknown to him and he still did not know how they could possibly destroy or even contain it.

“Where’s the other?” Owen wanted to know. “Can you see it anywhere?”

“No…” Jack replied, slowly backing off. “Isn’t this one exciting enough for you?”

“Well…” As Jack gestured him to step further aside, Owen retreated away from him. “What the hell are you doing?”

Jack shrugged.

“No, seriously, Jack. Do you plan to achieve anything?”

“That it comes after me and not you?” Jack suggested. “Can you see something organic? I’d love to try something.”

“Um…” In search for anything that fit Jack’s request, Owen turned away.

Jack on the other hand kept watching the fire devil. It swayed to the left, then to the right, slowly moving toward him. If he was not mistaken the flames were not as high as before. The rotation seemed to have slowed as well.

“I don’t have anything organic!” Owen spat. “If you’ve told me earlier I could’ve taken one of the bodies with me!”

“Not funny, Owen.”

“Not meant to be…” As he spoke his gaze fell on a scrap of wood from a broken crate. He rushed over, picked it up and threw it toward the whirlwind that was barely visible by now. The flames roared and flared up, quickly burning the board crisp. The rotation accelerated and a moment later, the twister moved toward Jack again.

“It really feeds off it,” Owen murmured. “Bugger! What are we doing with it?”

“Not let it get anywhere close to other people,” Jack replied.

“Oh, great. And if it converts back to a simple whirlwind? It could go anywhere.”

“I know!” Jack shouted, just as he felt his greatcoat sweeping up in a breeze. “Get out!” he managed to yell before the twister wrapped around him.

 

xXx

 

In the SUV Ianto and Toshiko listened to the others over their earpieces. Combined with the CCTV feed, they got a pretty good picture of what was going on. On the second monitor, Toshiko followed the motions of the winds using her tracking program for weather anomalies.

“The second one must’ve turned back to its wind form,” she murmured, seeing the second red dot vanish. “I can’t follow it…”

“I know!” Jack just shouted.

Ianto flinched in his seat as he saw how the coat was swept up, realizing in the same second that the winds attacked Jack again, which was even more terrifying now that they knew that those things could burn.

“Oh, my God!” Toshiko gasped. “Jack!”

“Climb up onto something!” Ianto called out. “Did you hear me?”

Instead, he had to watch how Owen darted toward Jack. What was the sense in that action? The medic jumped against the captain and threw him to the ground, out of the twister’s hold. They both gasped for breath.

“That won’t work for long,” Ianto grunted. “Get up and move!” He did not remember when he had looked up tornadoes, but falling back on the extensive knowledge his mind collected whenever he read, he recalled that there was a big difference between the mesocyclones that developed out of a supercell thunderstorm and their relatives, the whirlwinds.

“What good does it make to climb things?” Owen snorted. “They’re winds!”

“Whirlwinds, to be exact,” Ianto told him brusquely. “They appear to be kin to dust devils… aren’t you moving yet? In dust devils the forward momentum usually is produced by the spinning effect of the rising warm air, along with surface friction. It’s able to sustain itself by moving over nearby sources of hot surface air. The point is, they need flat surfaces.”

“He sounds like an encyclopaedia again,” Owen snickered.

Grunting with annoyance, Ianto watched the other men climb up the ladder on a container. The alien dust devil that now was clearly visible because of particles being caught up in the vortex, slowly followed them and stopped at the bottom of the metal container.

“So far so good,” Jack said. “And now?”

“Now we need to starve it,” Ianto told him matter of factly.

“And how are we going to do that?” Owen snarled.

“First you need to feed them in order to keep them where they are,” Ianto explained. “Then, can you see a refrigerated truck or container from up there?”

“Not yet,” Jack replied. “What’s your plan?”

“Do you see something you could feed them with?”

“Some crates.”

“Try and see if they take them,” Ianto told him. “Tosh, can you find out if there’s food in one of those containers?”

“Sure,” she nodded and hacked into the dock’s storage and loading system.

“Will you tell us what you’re up to?” Jack prodded. Ianto watched on the screen how he jumped onto another container from where he climbed down to get to the crates. There also were giant wooden spools that cable came on.

“All right. Let’s try it,” the captain said, took one of those spools, and rolled it toward the two whirlwinds that twisted in front of the container where Owen still stood on top.

Neither of them seemed to be interested, which left the team thinking again.

“The warmth,” Ianto called out. “It was relatively warm for April during the day. That’s why they could move through the city!”

“Right!” Owen agreed. “Jack, do you have a lighter?”

Being caught on the wrong foot, the captain patted the pockets of his coat and waistcoat. The team heard him snort his relief when he pulled out a couple of matches.

“Hope this works,” he murmured as he lit a match close to a small patch of grass growing between the pavement stones. As it kindled, he stomped onto a wooden palette to break off a board that he held into the small flames. When it started to burn he shoved it over toward the whirlwinds.

Sensing the heat, they turned to the burning wood. As soon as they came into touch with it, they lit up, flames blazing up inside the vortexes.

“Yes!” Jack called out.

“Okay… so that worked out,” Ianto mused aloud. “Let’s hope they’re similar enough to dust devils.” A bit louder, he added, “Keep feeding them! We’re looking for a way to direct them!”

“All right,” Owen replied and went over to where Jack had jumped to the other container but turned in another direction next.

“Whoa!” Jack shouted.

The dust devils had turned to the wooden spool. Fuelled with heat by the board they had consumed, they lit the spool themselves and were feeding off its wood now.

“You better hurry!” Jack commanded.

“Ianto, I found a refrigerated container,” Owen cut in. “What now?”

“Open it. We need to lead the dust devils there.”

“Ianto, will you finally tell us what your plan is?” Jack kept prodding.

“Well, our aliens are gaseous and show similarities to whirlwinds. In order to burn, they need heat and oxygen. When the air cooled in the evening, they needed to find food so to speak. In lack of other organic material they turned to the human body.”

“Killing him like they tried to kill me,” Jack threw in.

“Other than mesocyclones that form out of the clouds of a thunderstorm dust devils need a flat terrain and a swirling updraft under sunny conditions…”

“Then why are those things still moving?” Owen demanded to know.

“I can only assume that they’re still moving because they’re some sort of alien life form that can preserve or create the conditions they need up to a certain degree,” Ianto told him flatly.

“They’re flaring up quite a bit!” Jack cut in. “Whatever you’re up to… get it done quickly!”

“Feed them less,” Ianto replied.

“Whoaaa!!!”

Jack’s cry made Ianto look at the screen again where he saw one of the twisters which flame filled funnel now was about four yards high leave the burning spool to move toward Jack.

At the same time, they heard Owen laugh.

“You know what’s in the huge fridge?” he chuckled. “Naked sheep.”

“Huh?”

“Meat. Lots of meat.”

“Great,” Ianto said. “Put some on the floor.”

“Okay.”

“Ianto?!!!” Jack shouted. “They’re chasing me!”

“Don’t ruin the coat, sir,” Ianto told him matter of factly.

“Thanks for your compassion!” the captain yelled with clear anxiety. “Anything new on the plan?”

“Working on it, sir!”

“Ianto, over there,” Toshiko threw in, pointing at her screen . “That container’s loaded with oranges.”

“Oranges?” he queried. “Perfect! Orange peels are just full of highly flammable oils! The dust devils will love them!”

“Okay, let’s go get them.”

“Hurry up!” Jack shouted.

Toshiko was hardly out of the SUV when she started to run down the alley between the containers. For a fleeting second, Ianto wondered how she got so far ahead so suddenly. It took him an effort to catch up to her. At the right container, they struggled with opening the heavy doors. Once they got inside, they found bins of oranges.

“Quite a lot of ammunition,” Ianto smirked. “Let’s lay a track.”

“I hope it works,” she replied. “But we’ll need a handcart or something. Those bins are way too big for us to move them. Ianto?”

“Searching!”

No cart or barrow was in striking distance.

“Bugger!”

“Your jacket!” Ianto suggested and pulled off his own jacket to gather oranges in it.

With their makeshift bags, they left the container in search for the fire devils.

“Jack? Where are you?” Toshiko shouted.

“Here!” Jack replied. “Wherever here is!”

“Well, where is it?” Ianto queried, looking around in search of the shine of fire.

“Where are you?”

“Right in front of you!” Ianto called out breathlessly from running as well as with awe. Seeing Jack skid around a corner and starting to run toward him, the two fire devils right on his track and the coat billowing around him, was a magnificent sight.

“Just noticed!”

“Okay, Tosh!” Ianto shouted. “Let’s lead them to the fridge!”

Dropping the oranges at regular intervals, Toshiko and Ianto laid a track down the alley. When they reached another corner, the fire devils had just reached the first fruits and the flames flared up anew. The agents could hear the fizzling when the fire devils fed off the fresh and moist oranges.

Jack sidestepped to get away from the fire devils and thankfully they lost their interest in him.

“Quick, Tosh!” Ianto urged.

“I’ve got to get more ammunition!”

“Good that you have me then,” Owen cut in who dragged a sack behind him. Ripping one of the corners open, the medic started for the refrigerated container again. The oranges rolled out when the sack brushed over the rough asphalt.

“We’ll get more, just in case!” Ianto told the others and ran back to the container, Toshiko right behind him.

Jack ran to Owen instead, grabbing for the sack.

“Let me do that!” he commanded. “Let go, Owen! Help Tosh and Ianto!” Yanking the sack away from Owen, Jack pushed the medic aside. “Now!”

Owen backed off and went after his team mates.

“Oh, dear,” Jack gasped. The fire devils were catching up quickly. Their flame filled funnels reached up high again and the rotation was causing a swirling noise that sent chills down Jack’s spine.

“Hurry up!” the captain shouted, but he knew that the others could not be back quick enough. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that the giant fridge was only about forty yards away. “Shit.”

The sack was empty.

Dropping the useless thing, Jack braced himself.

“C’mon! I’m tasty!” he screamed at the fire devils. “Come and get me!”

By now the burning twisters were loaded with energy, consuming the fruits with increasing speed, and following Jack easily. At first, the captain retreated carefully to make sure that the fire devils stayed on his trail, but when they had burnt the last of the oranges they sped up, forcing Jack to run.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!”

Darting through the door, Jack slipped on the ground that was wet with melting ice. Falling, he skidded past a heap of frozen meat that Owen had piled up on the floor. Just when he bumped into the wall on the other end of the container, the fire devils merged to one. Jack’s heart beat into his throat as he was facing another agonizing death. This time he could not talk himself out of it. This time they would recover his body, blackened and crisp, and take it back to the Hub where Owen would want to do an autopsy. He shivered and that was not due to the cold. Horrified, he stared at the fiery twister that breezed through the door.

 

xXx

 

“Jack!” Toshiko screamed with horror.

Helplessly, the team had to watch how Jack ran into the refrigerated container and the fire devil followed him.

“Oh, my God,” Owen gasped, dropping the oranges he carried in his jacket now as well.

Ianto did not want to watch but could not tear his eyes off the scene. He knew what would happen if the fiery twister fed off Jack and he did not want to imagine what it would take to revive from a death like that.

Right then, the fire devils merged and breezed through the door…

   …and dissolved when it hit the icy cold surface.

Ianto gasped for breath.

_Is it gone? Did we make it?_

“Ianto?” he heard Jack call out over the earpiece. “I think it worked!”

Owen was confused. “Huh? That’s it? It evaporated?”

“Yeah,” Ianto confirmed. Actually, he was very grateful that his theory led to the desired outcome. “The funnel collapsed when it sucked in the cold air.”

“Simple physics, Owen,” Toshiko smirked.

“Yeah, well, I’m a doctor, not a physicist,” Owen grunted. “I favour autopsies.”

“I’m not really sorry that you won’t get a thing to cut open,” Toshiko said. “Those whirlwinds were scary.”

Together, they went over to the refrigerated container to check on their captain. As they looked in, they found Jack standing over the heap of meat, looking around the huge fridge.

“Do you think they’re really gone?” Jack wanted to know. “Maybe they fell apart but will form anew.”

“It didn’t look like that,” Toshiko mused aloud.

“Could you still keep the tracking program running?” Jack asked. “Just to be on the safe side.”

“Sure,” she assured him. “Well, guess it’s time to clean up then.”

“Yeah,” Owen grunted. “Don’t you just love it?”

“Quite a big mess they made,” Ianto stated. “Are you all right, sir?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Jack replied easily. “They couldn’t get far enough in to reach me.”

“Great,” Ianto smirked. “It would’ve been a shame having to mend the coat again.”

Readily, the captain returned the smirk.

“We’re lucky that the fire devils didn’t attract so much attention,” Jack said. “Owen, we need to identify the victim and fake an accident.”

“All right.”

“Ianto? Tosh needs to plant false reports and files with the computer. Could you help me with the actual cleanup? Sweeping up the ashes and so on.”

With a sigh, Ianto nodded. This would be a long night.

 

tbc…


	19. The escapee

When Ianto finally arrived at his bedsit it was after midnight already. As soon as he stepped through the door, he could hear the scurrying. He switched on the light and went straight to the cage of the spidermice. They were sitting right behind the tightly locked door, pawing with their forelegs, and looking up at him expectantly.

“Sorry, kids,” Ianto chirped. They had eaten all the fruits and the salad he had left for them and the water bottle that was strapped to the bars was almost empty as well. “Wow, do you have an appetite.”

Knowing that the little creatures would be hard to catch if he dared to remove the padlock, he refrained from opening the cage. Instead, he chopped a cucumber as well as an apple. When he peeled an orange, too, he was reminded of his latest adventure with the team of Torchwood Three. During the mission, he did not even waste a thought about the danger but now the idea sent a chill down his spine. Back then, following and supporting the others felt so natural, though, that he forgot about being just an archivist.

_Figuring out how to stop the fire devils was a challenge, but why the bloody hell did I leave the car? Jack even told me to stay. And yet I rushed as quickly to Jack and Owen’s aid as Toshiko._

With a sigh, he picked up the food and sat on the floor beside the cage.

“Here, kids,” he murmured as he pushed a piece of cucumber between the bars. The spidermice rushed to pull it fully in and started to gnaw on it. “Easy! Not so hasty. Don’t gorge.”

A loving smile played around his lips as he watched them eat the cucumber.

“I really need to find a better home for you. I wish I could keep you, kids, but this cage isn’t big enough for you. You need space to climb and weave your webs.”

He ate a part of the apple himself before he gave the rest to the mice.

Even though he had Chinese dinner, he felt hungry again. Working for so long certainly burnt a lot of calories.

_I shouldn’t have more to eat. Still I could do with a full meal now. I wish I had a real kitchen._

Ignoring the nagging feeling in his stomach, Ianto set his alarm clock and went to bed. Sleep, though, did not come, his mind being torn from the night’s events to his ordeal at One and to memories of his lost love. Tossing and turning, he tried to find the sleep that kept eluding him for several hours more.

 

xXx

 

Stepping through the cog door, Jack let his gaze roam around the Hub, which appeared deserted. After cleaning up at the docks, the others went home directly while Jack took care of the body. Now, he returned to an empty base that made him feel lonesome rather than offering comfort.

There had been times when he had loathed the Hub, cursing Torchwood’s existence. For decades it had been a cause of nightmares for him, but it also was a source of friendship and hope. Over the years it became home. A rather distorted and warped home, but a home nevertheless.

“Yvonne?” he called out for his cat. “Yvonne, are you here?”

The cat was nowhere to be seen.

Sighing with disappointment, Jack went up to the gantry and to his office. For a moment, he contemplated calling Ydris.

_No fair. It’s in the middle of the night._

He sank into his executive chair and stared at the paperwork that piled on his desk.

_Very encouraging._

The sight of the little coral lured a smile out of him.

_I wish your big sister would find her way back here soon. Why doesn’t the Doctor come? Doesn’t he need to refuel? I thought he said he came here for fuelling the TARDIS._

Another sigh escaped him.

_Those were happy times. They just passed too quickly._

Sitting up straighter, he eyed the forms in front of him.

_I should write a short report about tonight’s mission. Could very well be that Ianto’s going to ask about it._

A smirk cracked his features at that idea.

_Oh, he’s so good at what he does. And he’s doing so much for us already. Only two days have passed since he started temping, and already I can’t imagine the team without him._

Leaning back again, he let his hand run across the wool of his greatcoat.

_Ianto worked miracles with my coat. I can’t even be mad at him anymore for taking it without asking. It was such a considerate thing of him to go and wash and mend it. I don’t think that he can imagine exactly how important it is for me, but he still knew that I treasure it and chose that gesture to pay me back for my help in London._

Repeatedly he brushed his hand along the folds of his coat.

_Ianto has worked on it. His hands touched it everywhere. They mended the tears and washed out the stains. His fingers ran along the seams and over the fabric to see if he did not miss a spot._

A dreamy smile played around his lips.

_I wish he would caress me like that. His fingertips running along my sides and circling my_ _pecs_ _. Those long and elegant hands would feel wonderful threading in my hair. They would sear my skin as they caressed my cheek._

_Which shade of blue will his eyes take on in the twilight downstairs? I know that it’s presumptuous to even think about it, but I want to see those sparkles of real emotion in his eyes. I want him to want to touch me, to want to kiss me. To caress me. To tease me. To take me to the edge and let me hang there until he finally takes me over it._

Languorous shudders coursed through his body at his sensuous fantasy.

Of course, he could have taken his daydream a lot further, but something held him back. He could not tell what it was and guessed that it had something to do with how they had first met. Being trapped in the conversion unit, Ianto had been utterly helpless. That, combined with his youth and his incredibly good looks, triggered Jack’s protectiveness.

 _That must be the reason why I don’t strive to conquer him quickly and get him laid,_ Jack realized. _Besides, I’m enjoying our games way too much to rush it._

Somehow, it felt like Ianto was a prize he could win if he was good enough to earn it. He did not know yet what he had to do or achieve to receive that reward, but he knew that he would go to quite some length to get it.

Realizing that he would not get anything done, the captain retired to his room beneath his office where he lay restless until more fantasies allowed him to drift to sleep.

 

xXx

 

Waking horribly early after a restless night, Ianto got up and took a hot shower. It eased his aching muscles but did nothing to make him more alert. He got dressed and after a look at his tiny kitchen corner, he decided to go downstairs and get some pastries. Of course, Mrs. Dillard tried to engage him in a conversation, but at the early hour, he was not in the mood to chat with her. So he excused himself and returned to his room.

“Good morning, kids,” he murmured when he saw that at least a few of the spidermice were active, too. “Do you promise to be nice and get back in before I have to leave?” he asked as he bent down and opened the padlock. “There you go. One moment, I’ll make you breakfast.”

As expected, the spidermice swarmed out of their cage.

Ianto was cutting some vegetables for his pets when one of them startled him, appearing right in front of his face, dangling from a thread of almost invisible silk.

“Whoa!” he called out. “Do you have to give me such a scare?”

As it still hung there, upside down, clinging to the thread and its long nose twitching, Ianto tried to take it away, but the silk would not give way.

“That’s quite some stuff that you’re spinning there,” he snorted with wry amusement. “Maybe Tosh and Owen should examine it further. Who knows, we might find use for it.”

He put the bowl with vegetables down on the floor and sat down with his pastries, watching how the spidermice gathered around their food and ate. They really were adorable. By the time he had finished his breakfast, the bowl was empty and Ianto cut up a banana that he put into the cage.

As expected, the spidermice could not withstand the treat and readily climbed into the cage again.

“Hope that was enough to stretch your legs, kids,” Ianto said and refilled the water bottle. “I’ll be back for lunch, all right?”

Of course they did not answer, but he was pretty certain that they would be happy to see him, even if it just was because he brought them food. Those little critters were really hearty eaters.

_And they produce a lot of silk. Could be that they produce more of it when they’re well fed. Any way, they would veil the whole interior if I let them out unobserved._

When he entered the Hub, he was the very first to arrive. Well, except for Jack who sat at his desk already, trying to work on some reports.

“Good morning, Ianto,” the captain smiled tiredly when he noticed the young Welshman.

“Good morning, sir.” Taking in Jack’s appearance, Ianto asked, “Rough night?”

“Short night,” Jack shrugged.

“Would a cup of coffee help?”

“Definitely!” the captain beamed at Ianto.

Smirking, Ianto turned around and went up to the kitchenette to start up the coffee machine. While he worked, he thought about how he could probably convince Jack to allow him to use one of the unused storage rooms for the spidermice. It was not perfect, far from it, but it would at least offer them more space. Then he could still search for a place where they could enjoy the sun and fresh air as well.

_All right, industrial strength for Jack. He looks like he needs it. Some carbohydrates could help his mood as well._

Once more, Mrs. Dillard had forced a lot more pastries on Ianto than he could eat on his own. Wisely, he had picked quite different ones, trying to guess what his teammates liked. Now he was grateful for the stuffed bag his landlady had given him.

Choosing a lemon curd Welshcake and a pastry filled with apple and cinnamon, Ianto placed them on a plate for Jack, filled a huge mug with coffee, and took both downstairs. He had just left the staircase, when a terrified scream made his blood run cold.

Starting for the office, he only paused for a second to put the dishes onto the chest. When he darted into Jack’s sanctum, he was confronted with a peculiar sight.

Jack squatted in his chair, almost causing it to topple over with his attempts to retreat further. His eyes were wide as saucers and directed at something under his desk. He looked utterly horrified and whimpered with fear.

“What’s wrong?” Ianto demanded.

Jack, though, did not seem to hear him. All he did was quiver in his chair, twisting around in it as he followed the movements of whatever was scaring the crap out of him. Ianto still could not see the cause of the uproar so he asked again.

“Th-th-there!” Jack squeaked as he pointed in the same direction as he was staring at. “Argh!”

With a terrified shout, he tried to back off, but the chair was a small island, and when the source of his fright started to climb it, Jack jumped up, lost his balance, and fell backwards out of the chair.

Rushing forward, Ianto caught his fall and was almost thrown to the ground by the impact. Scrabbling backwards, Jack tried to escape, but Ianto wrapped his arms around him.

“What. Is. Wrong?” he queried insistently.

Shivering in his hold, still attempting to get away from the vicinity of his workplace, Jack gasped hoarsely, his voice almost cracking, “Spidery mouse thing!”

_Oh, shit!_

Realizing that one of his pets must have snuck into his bag or his coat, Ianto feverishly searched for the spidermouse. In his hold, Jack was still struggling, gasping for breath, almost hyperventilating.

“It’s all right, Jack,” Ianto tried to assure him. “It can’t hurt you. I’ll take it away. All right?”

“No!” the captain screamed, high pitched like a girl, making Ianto wonder how he could reach those high tones. “Kill it! KILL IT!”

“No, I won’t,” Ianto flatly told him. “Now pull yourself together!”

Spotting the creature of doom, Jack wriggled out of Ianto’s arms and grabbed a book off a shelf to throw it at the scurrying beast. It impacted very close to the adorable animal which made Ianto furious.

“Kill it!” Jack screamed again, backing further off and jumping onto his sofa.

“The hell I will,” Ianto huffed and squatted down in order to intercept the spidermouse. Carefully, he coaxed it to climb onto his hand where it settled in his palm.

“Argh!” Jack squeaked. “Don’t TOUCH it!”

“You know you’re being silly, right?”

Jack just whimpered and tried to climb from the seat to the back of his sofa as Ianto straightened up and took a step closer to him.

“Jack!” Ianto said firmly. “Come down there before this gets really embarrassing.”

In his distress, Jack did not even notice that Ianto called him by name.

“Please, just take it away,” Jack whined.

“I will not,” Ianto insisted. “Not until you come down off the sofa. If you make me ask you again, I will stay here until you pet it.”

“NO!” Jack wailed like a frightened child. “J-just, give me a moment.”

If it had been something even marginally dangerous, like a bee or a horsefly, something that could at least cause pain if not a real injury or an allergic reaction, Ianto might have been more sympathetic, but the spidermouse was harmless, and given the tensile strength of its silk, might even prove really useful. If they were to learn more about the creatures, they would have to be able to study them. For that to happen, Jack would at least have to tolerate having them in the Hub. Now seemed as good a time as any to start working on his phobia.

“D-don’t let it get away from you,” Jack whimpered as he put one foot on the floor. He was slowly climbing down from the far end of the sofa, as far from Ianto and the spidermouse as he could get.

“I won’t,” Ianto assured him in a soothing voice. “You’re doing fine Jack.”

Jack whimpered wordlessly and set his other foot on the floor, keeping himself practically plastered to the wall beside him.

“Excellent, I think your odds just went up to forty percent,” Ianto smiled.

Jack gave him a terrified grin.

“Really?” he whined.

“Yeah, really,” Ianto said. “If you can take just another step closer, they might go up a little more.”

Jack gave another fretful whine, but after a moment, he shuffled his feet just a few inches further from the wall. It was not a real step, but it was a good effort. Knowing how hard it was to overcome a phobia, Ianto decided to grant Jack the promised raise on his odds.

“Well, I’m tempted to give you another five percent,” he said.

Magically, Jack’s body swayed forward, coming level to his feet. His eyes shone with excitement.

“So I’m back to forty-five?” he asked for confirmation, his momentum carrying him another half step forward.

“Seeing how well you’re doing that seems just fair,” Ianto told him reassuringly. He could not help but be amazed by the fact that Jack exactly recalled his odds for dinner with him despite shaking with anxiety. “By the way, his name’s Benny.”

“It has a name?” Jack squeaked in a rather unmanly fashion.

“Yeah,” Ianto shrugged. “Doesn’t he look like a Benny to you?”

Reflexively, Jack leaned slightly forward in response to the question, which brought him another half step closer. When Ianto held up his hand just a little higher so the captain could see the creature better, Jack flinched back, sucking in a sharp breath. Still it was not enough to make him step back, which Ianto noted with satisfaction.

As he watched Jack who still stared with widened eyes and flaring nostrils, Ianto went on, “You’re doing well, Jack.” Ianto had to hide his amusement when he saw Jack quirk an eyebrow at noticing being called by name this time. “Before you know it you’re going to feed them fruits and veggies. They’re mostly vegetarian, you know…”

“F-f-feed them?” Jack cut in nervously. “And what do you mean with _mostly_ vegetarian?”

“Well, they would never attack you, Jack,” Ianto chuckled. “But they do eat insects like mealworms.”

“Ewwww!” Jack wrinkled his nose and almost forgot about his fear.

Ianto laughed softly. “Well, _you_ don’t have to eat them.”

Recalling situations where his only choice had been to overcome his disgust or starve to death, Jack said, “I would if I had to.”

At that Ianto could not suppress his amusement anymore and laughed out loud.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped between laughter, “but… you’d eat mealworms but you can’t even stand the _sight_ of a cute little spidermouse?”

“Right,” Jack huffed, taking a step back and crossing his arms over his chest. “And they’re _not_ cute.”

“Oh, yes, they are,” Ianto insisted, smirking broadly.

“No!”

“Yes.”

In order to emphasize his words Ianto held his pet just slightly higher. With widening eyes, Jack leaned away from it. Taking pity on his boss, Ianto let his hand sink again.

“By the way, they produce a very strong silk,” he told Jack. “It might have some practical applications. Might be worth further studies.”

“Probably,” Jack agreed absently, staring at the loathed creature. He had to admit that his heart did not beat that wildly anymore. By now, he could almost tolerate the spidermouse’s sight, if only from a distance.

“In order to study them we should be able to keep them here at the Hub,” Ianto casually mentioned, furtively watching Jack’s reaction that reverted instantly back to anxious.

“I-I’ll think about it,” Jack croaked.

It was more than Ianto expected with the captain staring wide-eyed and trembling at the mere sight of the tiny creatures. He decided that the small concession was worth another raise of odds.

“Now that earns you another two percent, Jack,” he told him, which won him a tentative smile.

The alarm of the cog door alerted them to the arrival of another team member. They needed to wrap this up.

“Thank you, sir.”

“That’s not a yes,” Jack rushed to say, fighting for his composure. He did not want anyone else to see how scared he was of the tiny being, knowing deep inside of him how ridiculous it was. Still, he could not help himself.

Ianto shrugged. Not because he did not care but in order to assure Jack. With a curt nod he turned to leave the office, carefully sliding his hand with the spidermouse into his suit pocket.

“Um, Ianto?” Jack called out. “Can we… keep that incident just between us?”

Looking back over his shoulder, Ianto asked blandly, “What incident, sir?”

Their gazes met and Jack tried to judge Ianto’s intentions. As he could not see any mischief and a small smile grazing the Welshman’s lips, he returned the tentative smile and nodded.

Nodding in return, Ianto finally left and went to retrieve the mug to replace the now cold coffee. On his way up he greeted Toshiko. He filled a cup for her as well, adding a pastry.

“You’ve got to stay right here, Benny,” he told the spidermouse as he carefully took it out of his pocket and sat it down on the kitchen counter. Frantically he searched for a way to keep it there. Thinking quickly, he came up with only one solution.

Once he solved that problem, he delivered the treats to his colleague first before he returned to the captain’s office. At the sight of coffee and pastries, Jack’s face lit up brightly.

“Mmmmm, you’re spoiling me,” he smirked. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Ianto returned the smile. “My landlady’s showering me with pastries.”

“She can keep doing that,” Jack snickered.

“It would be only fair to pay for them,” Ianto complained, “but she doesn’t let me. I’m asking for two scones and she gives me two whole bags with mixed pastries, but is taking only the money for the scones.”

Jack chuckled at the young man’s misery.

“Well, thank her from me anyway,” he suggested and took a big bite of the pastry. Chewing happily he mumbled, “It’s delicious.”

“Will do, sir,” Ianto replied, rolling his eyes.

Hearing the others arrive, Jack said, “I want to finish these reports before the morning meeting. See you then… with fresh coffee?”

“Of course, sir,” Ianto agreed.

As Jack watched the Welshman leave, one of his eyebrows went up with curiosity, wondering why one of his laces was missing.

 

tbc…


	20. Trigger

After enjoying his coffee and pastries, Jack spent a couple of minutes contemplating how he should handle the morning meeting. Suzie was there. Only a few minutes before Owen, she came in and went straight to her workstation. She neither acknowledged her colleagues’ presence nor stopped by Jack’s office. His second in command acted as if she had done nothing wrong and that bugged the captain.

Of course, he could have called her when the alert came in last evening, but he had been so mad at her that he did not care. Then Ianto offered to support them and Jack did not even waste another thought on Suzie. The mission went surprisingly well without her. Jack wanted to rub it in but knew that it would give a bad impression toward the rest of the team.

Deciding to ask her into his office after the meeting, Jack went up to the boardroom, his sign to the others to join him there for the meeting. As he entered, he found mugs and small plates distributed on the table. A moment later, Ianto was the second one to arrive, bringing in a thermos and a plate with pastries. Jack eyed the latter curiously and spotted two more Welshcakes. Delight lit in his eyes and he boldly took both Welshcakes to put them on his plate.

“I’m the boss,” Jack declared when Ianto cast him a disapproving glance.

“I didn’t say a thing, sir.”

“You didn’t have to,” Jack smirked and shoved his mug toward the Welshman. “Would you be so kind?”

So Ianto filled the captain’s mug and his own and sat down in his chair. Toshiko came in next, smiling at Ianto and thanking him for the extra breakfast. Suzie and Owen settled in their chairs without any comment, even though Owen was quick at placing two pastries on his plate as well.

“All right, kids,” Jack said, clapping his hands together. “Before we begin… Suzie, I want to talk to you in private after the meeting. Now that that’s said, I want to thank you for the successful mission last night…”

“What mission?” Suzie cut in, not the least bit apologetic for missing the action. “Did you call?”

“As a matter of fact, I didn’t,” Jack stated matter-of-factly. “Everyone else was present, so we went out without you.”

“I see,” she nodded. “And you want to talk to me alone because you were too bloody stubborn to call me in after I left yesterday?”

 _Left? You all but ran away._ Being put on the spot, Jack fixated her with a death glare.

“Why not tell me now?”

Jack did not budge to the challenge. “Because then I would have to tell you how annoyed I was by your accusations and about my disappointment at your lack of support toward our newest team member.”

“Temporary assignment,” Suzie replied.

Glaring at her for the interruption, Jack went on, “Especially as Ianto was a really big help last night. He and Tosh developed a plan that led to the neutralization of the threat the two whirlwind aliens posed.”

“Ianto was brilliant,” Toshiko threw in.

Her comment made the Welshman blush, which Jack found quite endearing.

“Yeah,” Owen agreed but could not help but tease, “He knows Wikipedia by heart.”

This time, Ianto rolled his eyes.

“Anyway,” Jack said, “He did a great job. You all did,” he nodded at Toshiko and Owen. “Tosh, did your tracking program find anything?”

“Thankfully not,” she told him. “But I’ll keep it running to make sure that we really caught them.”

“Good. I hope that case is closed then.” Jack took a drink of his coffee before he continued, “Now, Ianto, you arranged a flight for Ydris and the tigers, is that correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Right. Ydris called to tell me that he would come in later with the crates he organized and the forms we need to fill in.”

“Okay, sir.”

This time it was Jack’s turn to roll his eyes, but he did not comment on still being called sir. Instead, he addressed a more serious matter.

“Major Billingham sent me an email in which he informed me that UNIT is going to arrange a memorial service next Saturday and we all will attend…”

“What?” Suzie cut in.

Slowly but surely, Jack got really annoyed with his second in command.

“We are going to demonstrate our respect for the colleagues who died in London,” Jack told her firmly. “There’s no room for discussion. We’re going to London on Saturday.” Turning to Ianto, he went on, “We agreed that we will use the opportunity to meet with the survivors to wrap things up there.”

Ianto stared at him with open incredulity.

“I’m not sure if I’ll be prepared by Saturday,” he admitted.

“Well, that’s why Suzie’s going to help you, right?” Jack said. “At least that’s what I recall we agreed on.”

His second in command glowered at him but remained silent as she remembered that they talked about it.

“Well, unless you’re not feeling up to it,” Jack offered Ianto a way out. He was not sure what the sceptical look the Welshman cast at him was supposed to tell him.

“No, that’s not it, sir,” Ianto said. “But the archives…”

“Don’t worry about the archives,” Jack shrugged. “I was distracted from compiling the list you wanted anyway. I’ll try to have it by this afternoon, all right?”

Beside him, Suzie was fuming. Jack could tell as much, even though she did not comment, and he realized that Ianto noticed it as well.

“Um, sir?” Ianto spoke up because he sensed that Jack was about to change the subject. Anxiety threatened to overwhelm him, but he had to ask, “Do we know by now how many employees have survived the invasion?”

Jack took a deep breath before he answered, “Not every body could be identified yet, but we know by now that twenty-nine members of Torchwood One’s staff have reported in or are being treated at the hospital. Two are still in a critical condition.”

“I see,” Ianto murmured. His stomach was about to do somersaults. _Twenty-nine only. Oh, my God! What have we done? And still, it could have been so much worse._

His heart ached for everyone who had lost his life or health or a loved one during the Cyber invasion. Yet even though he grieved with the survivors, he failed to recognize that he was one of them. It still did not quite register that he barely escaped the tower himself, and he had lost his fiancé to the army of ghosts. Were he able to acknowledge his unique status as a survivor of the Battle of Canary Wharf, he most certainly would have guessed that mourning and recovery would still be a long process.

Sensing the tension build, Jack tried to diffuse it.

“Well, there’s a possible research project Ianto told me about,” the captain said and looked at the Welshman meaningfully. “I’d like to postpone that matter until after the memorial service, though. I’m sure you’ll remind me, right, Ianto?”

“Yes, sir,” Ianto confirmed distractedly and nodded slightly. First, he did not expect Jack to bring the subject up so soon anyway so this was fine with him, and second, he had other things on his mind right now.

“I think that’s all then,” Jack declared. “Suzie, I think we said all that needed to be said. You’re going to help Ianto with preparing the contracts for One’s surviving personnel and you’re on vault duty for the weekend. Thank you, everyone.”

Suzie glowered darkly at Jack but refrained from venting her anger. Swiftly, she stood and strode out of the boardroom. Toshiko grimaced at her co-worker’s behaviour. She liked Ianto and was glad about the friendship that was slowly forming between them, so she could not quite understand why Suzie was being so hostile. She emptied her mug and excused herself.

“Your landlady really knows how to bake,” Owen said as he got up, grabbed another pastry, and breezed out of the door.

Slowly, still in thought, Ianto got up and mechanically gathered the used mugs and plates on a tray. He was just about to put the thermos on it as well when he thought better of it and shoved it toward Jack who grinned in response.

“You know, Ianto,” the captain began and his grin became wicked as he leant back in his chair, “I told you what would happen if one of those things came anywhere near the Hub, right?”

“Yes, sir,” Ianto agreed.

“Well?”

Suddenly, Ianto had a lump in his throat. The way Jack slouched in his chair now did not have anything threatening about it. No. Actually, his pose was rather provocative. Ianto found it hard to respond to him in this situation.

“You said you would make me… your coffee slave, sir,” Ianto all but croaked.

“I did, didn’t I?” Jack smirked.

“Yes, sir.”

“For the rest of your life,” Jack elaborated, eyeing the Welshman challengingly.

Ianto choked. No, he was not mistaken. Jack had switched to his cheeky self. To Ianto’s horror, the way Jack draped his arms over the armrests of the chair and his crossed legs did not fail to work on him. The Captain’s grin had become salacious and the sparkle in his eyes testified to his attraction.

“Right, sir,” Ianto automatically replied, but he did not think of endless service as coffee boy but of another form of slavery, a much more erotic variety to be exact. The images pushed into his consciousness and he had to shake his head to clear it.

_Jack’s revenge for the earlier scare?_

That thought reminded Ianto that he needed to check on Benny. Even though Jack looked like he wanted to pursue the matter, he asked, “Did Ydris say when he’ll come over?”

“No,” Jack told him, readily accepting that Ianto backed out of the game.

“Okay, guess I’ll know when he arrives then. I’ll go back to work now, sir, if that’s all right.”

“Sure. Go ahead. Oh, and those Welshcakes are fantastic.”

Ianto acknowledged him with a nod, took the tray, and was on his way out when Jack lasciviously said, “By the way… I love that suit.”

Ianto froze and had to take a deep breath before he could continue on his way.

 

xXx

 

At the same time someplace else in Cardiff, Constable Andy Davidson had other problems. His coffee break was interrupted by dispatch, sending him and his partner, Gwen Cooper, to a domestic fight. Neighbours had called in the emergency, reporting screams and other weird noises coming out of the adjacent flat.

When the constables arrived at the address they got, everything was calm. Andy rang the doorbell repeatedly before finally the door opened, revealing a lean twelve year old boy with mouse brown hair.

“Hello,” Gwen chirped. “Constables Cooper and Davidson. What’s your name?”

The boy just shook his head.

“Is your mom at home?”

The kid eyed her disdainfully.

“No.”

“What about your dad?”

“No.”

Gwen frowned. What did the neighbours hear when the parents were not at home? And why was the kid not at school?

“We’re here to check if you and your parents are all right,” she said. “May we come in for a minute?”

“No,” the boy said without hesitation.

Gwen was stunned. “We just want to make sure everyone’s okay,” she insisted.

In the background the constables could hear a commotion and excited voices. Someone else had to be in the flat. They needed to get in.

“C’mon, let us in,” Andy told the boy sternly. “What’s going on back there?”

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing,” Andy prodded and pushed slightly against the door. As it swung further back, it allowed the constables a better sight into the hallway and Andy noticed blood on the floor.

“All right, kid, the fun’s over,” Andy said and took the boy’s arm to shove him over to Gwen who wrapped her arms around him.

“Hey! You can’t go in!” the kid shouted. “Mom!”

“So she is there then,” Andy huffed and exchanged a glance with Gwen to make sure that she stayed and took care of the boy. Then he proceeded down the corridor.

“Mrs. Sandford?” he called out. “Police Constable Davidson! Mrs. Sandford, is everything all right?”

Hearing something bump, Andy decided not to wait for a response.

“Mrs. Sandford, I’m coming in!”

“No!” the boy yelled. “He’ll run away!”

“Who’ll run away?” Gwen asked, struggling to keep her hold on the writhing boy.

“My pet!”

“Your dog?” Andy pushed and saw the kid shake his head. From inside the other room, he heard more suspicious noises and the high-pitched voice of a woman. She probably was chasing the boy’s pet.

Still fighting with the boy in her arms, Gwen moved inside the hall and closed the door. Hearing a scream, Andy pushed the door open.

“Whoa!”

The bedroom was a mess. Feathers from the covers on the king sized bed flew around and everything that once stood on the furniture, alarm clock, bedside lamp, candle holder, flower pot, was now scattered on the floor. Amidst the chaos was a petite woman, strands of her blond hair slipped out of her bun and hung messily onto her shoulders, her makeup was runny with tears, and her forearms bleeding from several scratches. What gave Andy quite a scare, though, was the animal that sat in the middle of the bed.

Its long snout was filled with tiny razor sharp teeth. It bobbed its head, hissing angrily at the newcomer and whipping its tail from side to side threateningly.

“Um… Gwen?” Andy shouted. “We need the animal catchers!”

“No!” the boy screamed and darted into the bedroom. “Mom! I want to keep him!”

“Your pet’s a monster!” she sobbed.

Well, the green skinned creature was not exactly a monster in the classic sense, but it did trash the bedroom thoroughly. It just had the size of a chicken, but it seemed to be agile and possess some strength you would not expect in a small animal like this.

“Easy, ma’am,” Andy said, carefully putting a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s go outside and talk in quiet.”

“In quiet?” she frayed. “With that beast under our roof?”

“Ma’am, my partner’s calling in help. We’ll catch the… bird. Or is it a lizard?”

“He’s _my_ lizard!” the boy threw in defiantly. “Don’t you hurt him or I’m gonna…”

“Joey Sandford,” his mother interrupted him, grabbing his arm hard, “Behave yourself! That beast was here for the longest time! The police will take it!”

“But, mom!” Joey whined. “You said I could keep him! He’ll learn! You’ll see!”

“No it won’t!” she snapped. “It’s a lizard, for God’s sake. It won’t learn to do its business in a box or to leave our shoes alone!”

“But mom!”

As Mrs. Sandford manoeuvred her son out of the bedroom, Andy cast a last look at the lizard that hissed at him again, and closed the door behind them.

“Go! Catch it!” Mrs. Sandford turned to Andy. “The sooner you take it away the better.”

“Ma’am,” Gwen mingled in. “Calm down, please. Can we sit down somewhere?”

“In the kitchen,” she nodded and pushed Joey into the opposite direction. “You’ll stay in your room. Got me? If you try to let it run you’ll be grounded for the rest of the year.”

“Moooom!” he whined again, but banged his head against a brick wall. Mrs. Sandford was truly pissed off and would not take pity on him. Pouting, the boy vanished in his room and smashed the door closed.

“That way,” the mother gestured down the hall and took two steps back to lock the bedroom and keep the lizard from escaping. In the kitchen, Andy sat down with her and asked Gwen to wait outside for the animal catchers and call an ambulance as well.

“Ma’am,” Andy tried to sooth her when she started to argue about needing a doctor, “Those scratches need to be treated.”

For the first time she seemed to notice that she was injured. Incredulously she stared at her forearms and began to cry.

“Joey brought it in,” she tried to explain. “It was weak and we didn’t think it would survive. Actually, it was quite cute, or rather pretty, with its green skin and the slender body… but as it gained strength it became hard to control. Joey kept it in his room first so we didn’t notice. And then it escaped into the living room and made quite a mess.” Her distress changed to rage. “You’ve seen the bedroom! It’s a monster!”

Andy let her talk while they waited. About half an hour later the animal catchers arrived. The lizard gave them quite a hard time, flitting from side to side and through their legs. It almost escaped into the corridor and they managed just in time to close the door. They needed about twenty minutes to catch the creature. When they took it outside in a cage, Andy asked them to wait for a moment and had a closer look at the lizard.

It looked familiar. Standing on its hind legs, it really had the size of a slim chicken, light green, long neck, astute eyes. Once more, it hissed and tried to bite. Its tail did not have enough space to whip in the small cage.

_Flash._

Andy winced at the sudden flash of memory, the sound of a machine gun and the high chirps of animals.

_What was that?_

Tilting his head to the side, he eyed the lizard intently. It was an extraordinary specimen. He knew that lizards usually moved on all four legs. That this one stood on its hind legs was a little weird.

_Flash._

This time it was the slightest sense of how he put a bucket over something. Shaking his head, he tried to make sense of the memory.

“Can we go now?” the man carrying the cage asked. “We’ve got other things to do.”

“Yeah, sure,” Andy agreed.

“Are you okay?” Gwen asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he assured her, even though he could not quite shake off the weird feeling that he had seen a lizard like that before. The memory was there, but he could not access it. That was really a peculiar feeling. Unwilling to brood further about it, he told Gwen, “Let’s wrap this up.”

They went back to the kitchen to exchange a few last words with Mrs. Sandford before they returned to their car and called dispatch to let them know that they were back on the beat.

 

tbc…


	21. Searches

“Okay, Benny, I’m back,” Ianto chirped when he returned to the kitchenette. “I’m going to spare a few minutes to take you home, kid. We don’t want you to give anyone a scare again, right?”

He sat the tray down on the kitchen counter and put the mugs and plates into the sink. As he shoved the tray in its place beside the cupboard, he groaned.

“Oh, no… Benny?”

Squatting down, Ianto opened the left door of the bottom cupboard. When he needed a safe place for his spidermouse earlier, he had taken the plates and bowls out that gathered dust down there and left the little creature in it instead. As he did not want to lock it tightly, he secured the door with one of his shoelaces, so it would open a crack but not far enough to let the animal through.

The shoelace lay on the grid of the catwalk. The knot was still intact but obviously Benny had gnawed on the lace until it gave way. A look into the compartment confirmed Ianto’s suspicion: the spidermouse was gone.

“Benny?” he said, hesitating to call out aloud. “Oh, c’mon! Come back. You’ll get banana if you come back.”

Chirruping, he tried to lure his pet out of its hiding place. To no avail. Benny remained missing.

“Jack’s gonna kill me,” Ianto muttered, only to see erotic alternative pictures flash before his mind’s eye. Trying to shake off the images, he searched the whole kitchenette for any sign of the spidermouse. “Jack’s really gonna kill me.”

Of course, the creature was a really good climber, so Ianto extended his search on the surrounding catwalk and the ceiling. The mouse was nowhere to be seen.

“Benny!” Ianto rasped with growing agitation. “Where are you?”

Hoping against hope that his pet did not go far away, Ianto searched the kitchenette a second time.

“Benny!”

There was no denying it, the spidermouse had escaped into the Hub.

“Please, whatever you do, don’t go to Jack,” Ianto pleaded and started down the staircase, checking the construction with every step in case the mouse sat on the handrail or between the banister’s bars. No such luck. Down on the gantry, Ianto went straight to Toshiko’s workstation.

“Tosh?” he asked softly and she turned around to him. “Do you happen to have a banana?”

She shook her head no. “Sorry, Ianto. Don’t you have one of those pastries left?”

“It’s not for me, it’s for Benny,” he whispered conspiratorially. “He must’ve snuck into my bag or my coat. I caught him in Jack’s office earlier, but now he’s gone.”

“Oooops!”

Ianto huffed. “Can you help me search? God, he could be anywhere in the Hub by now. I should’ve taken him back home straight away, but there was the morning meeting and I didn’t want to let you wait or miss it entirely.”

“Of course I’ll help,” Toshiko reassured him. “Where did you last see him?”

“In the kitchenette,” Ianto said. “But I searched there twice. He’s not there.”

“Does he have other favourites than bananas?”

At that Ianto could only shrug.

“Okay, let’s go search. Which part do you take?”

“Let’s both search the whole central Hub,” Ianto sighed. “Then we have a better chance to find him, don’t you think?”

This time, it was Toshiko who shrugged, Ianto rolled his eyes, and they both started to search.

 

xXx

 

Seeing Ianto and Toshiko talk put a smile on Jack’s face. He really liked that they became friends.

_If he forms bonds with his co-workers he might be more willing to stay._

Watching closer, he could not shake off the feeling that something was wrong. Ianto looked worried and Toshiko seemed to share his concern. When they set about searching, Jack watched for a minute more before he returned his attention to the file he was putting together.

_Hope he didn’t lose anything important._

Writing reports definitely was not Jack’s favourite pastime so he soon let himself be distracted by the search party. That the two were looking into each and every corner made him curious.

_What could he have lost? And why are they searching in such peculiar places?_

Slowly realization dawned and a small whimper escaped the captain.

_Oh, crap! The spidery mouse thing ran away!_

His breathing quickened and his heart rate increased.

_Please don’t let it come in here!_

Impending panic almost paralyzed him. Then he realized that the door to his office stood wide open.

_Argh!_

Pushing himself out of the chair, Jack quickly strode around the desk but paused, looking around the office, scanning it for the loathed creature. When he could not spot it, he made a beeline for the door and pushed it shut. Leaning against it with his back, he tried to regain control over his breathing.

_Keeping the spidery mouse things here at the Hub? No, Ianto, I don’t think so._

 

xXx

 

The longer they searched the more desperate Ianto became. He was so worried. About Benny finding his way back to Jack’s office and scaring the crap out of the captain, but also about the spidermouse itself as it was Ianto’s secret favourite and he did not want anything to happen to the tiny being.

_What if he gets out of the Hub? Who knows if he can survive out there on his own? And he’d be so lonely without his family._

“Benny!” he whispered insistently. “C’mon! Show yourself!”

Thankfully, Suzie was working somewhere else in the Hub. It would be so much more embarrassing having to explain to her what they were searching for.

“Did you see anything?” Toshiko asked.

“No. Not even a silk thread,” Ianto replied, his concern clearly audible by now. “Where could he have gone?”

“As you said… he could be anywhere,” Toshiko shrugged helplessly. She wished she could reassure the young Welshman, but the truth was that they had no idea where the spidermouse had gone. “Hope Yvonne doesn’t find him before we do.”

“What?” Ianto gasped. “No! Poor Benny! We’ve got to find him!”

They were searching the area around the silver column now and Ianto intently scanned the tidal basin. Could spidermice swim? He had no idea.

“What about the vaults?” Toshiko asked. “Could he have gotten so far?”

“Probably,” Ianto mused aloud. “They’re excellent climbers and can move pretty fast.”

“Maybe we should extend our search.”

Thoughtfully, Ianto worried his bottom lip. For some reason, he did not believe that Benny really travelled so far. There was nothing in the tunnels that might be of interest for the little creature. Maybe dark places to hide in, but those could be found in the main Hub as well.

“Argh!”

_Jack!_

Freezing with shock, his eyes growing wide, Ianto stood stock still for a moment. Then he realized that it had not been the captain’s voice.

“Owen!” he and Toshiko said as one and they darted up the stairs and to the med bay.

“Bloody hell!” the medic shouted. “That’s my stash! What are you doing in there? And what the hell are you anyway? Get out! Shoo!”

Both Toshiko and Ianto stood upstairs at the handrail and watched the doctor gesticulate wildly. Benny had to be alive and well to cause that reaction. Ianto could have cried with relief but forced it back. Crying over a spidermouse in front of Owen or Suzie if she came along was _not_ an option.

“What’s wrong?” Toshiko demanded to know.

“There’s a… thing sitting in my drawer,” Owen complained, pointing at one of the two drawers in his small workstation down in the med bay.

“Do you happen to have a banana in there?” Toshiko asked teasingly.

“Among other things… What the bloody hell is that thing?”

“A spidermouse,” Ianto snarled and went down the stairs. Pushing the doctor aside, he peeked into the drawer where his pet was sitting among candies, chocolates, an open soda bottle… and a very ripe banana. “Benny,” Ianto sighed and reached in to pick him up. “Come here. Naughty boy.”

“Is that yours?” Owen grunted.

“Yeah. First he snuck in and then he ran away. He must’ve smelled your banana. Can he have it?”

“Take it, for God’s sake.” Stepping closer, Owen had a second look at the spidermouse with its long, twitching nose, the big round ears, and the eight spindly legs. “Actually it’s rather cute,” he conceded. “It just surprised me.”

“You screamed,” Ianto teased.

“Well, yeah. That was a reflex to allow the lungs to expand again to breathe.”

Both Toshiko and Ianto laughed at that and a third voice also joined with a chuckle.

“Did you secure it?” Jack asked. His eyes were widened but he still watched from upstairs.

“Yes,” Ianto confirmed. “Maybe I should take him home now.”

“Yeah, do that,” Jack agreed and shied just a little back when Ianto passed him on his way up the steps and over to the cog door.

“I’ll be back in about half an hour, sir,” Ianto told him.

“Fine. Take your time,” Jack muttered. Seeing the broad and proud smile Ianto favoured him with made him feel better and he straightened up a bit more. “Back to work,” he declared.

Owen sat down at his workplace to examine some specimens and Toshiko returned to her workstation. Only when the cog door had closed behind Ianto, and the spidermouse, Jack dared to go back to his office.

 

xXx

 

Convincing Benny to go back into the cage was a hard piece of work. The company of his family could not coax him inside and Ianto pleaded with him as he feared that the spidermouse might escape the bedsit while he was at work. When Benny finally rejoined the others, Ianto used the opportunity to refill the water bottle.

_They don’t have enough space. I feel so bad keeping them in that small cage._

With a sigh, he said goodbye to his pets and left the small flat. On his way out of the house, he was intercepted by his landlady.

“Oh, Ianto!” she shouted from out of the bakery. “Just a minute, please!”

Dreading another bag of pastries, Ianto slowed his steps and entered the bakery. Instead, she held out a small package to him.

“I accepted your mail in your stead,” she announced. “Here, my boy.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Dillard,” he replied and felt the urge to roll his eyes. As he had been friends with her nephew when they were in school, she felt nostalgic towards him. He took the carton from her and a smile touched his lips when he thought of what was inside.

“Is it something nice?” she asked.

“A gift,” he told her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Ianto. Have a nice day.”

“You, too, Mrs. Dillard,” he said cordially.

“Do you want another pastry?” she asked before he could get to the door.

“Not right now,” he declined her offer. “But thank you very much. My boss enjoyed your Welshcakes very much. He asked me to relay to you that they are delicious.”

“Oh!” her features lit up with joy. “Thank you! Do you want to take another one for him?”

“I shouldn’t spoil him,” Ianto joked. “But if you’d have fresh ones tomorrow morning I wouldn’t say no.”

“All right. I’ll pack you a bag,” she smirked. “Goodbye.”

“Bye, Mrs. Dillard.”

Before she could engage him in further conversation, he left the bakery and went back to the Hub. Knowing that they did not have much time left until Saturday, he went straight to Suzie, asking her about their cooperation.

“You can leave the financial things to me,” she told him brusquely. “Just prepare the documents terminating their contracts with Torchwood and I’ll do the wage and pension administration. I’ll put it all together for you so you can advise them after the memorial service.”

 _So much about working together,_ Ianto thought. Aloud he asked, “What about those who want to transfer to UNIT?”

“They need a new contract with UNIT,” Suzie said.

“And a proper notice of termination…” he thought out loud, “along with some sort of credentials or references verifying their employment with Torchwood? Or the respective cover business?”

“Yeah,” she grumbled. “All right then, I’ll do this and you’ll do that. Okay?”

“Fine,” Ianto agreed and swore she would get decaf from now on. _On second thought that might not be such a good idea as caffeine withdrawal will make her even bitchier._

As he was not sure which conditions he needed to include in the references, he went to Toshiko next.

“Hey,” she greeted. “Is Benny all right?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “But I really need to find another place for them. They need more space. A lot more space.”

“Yeah, I know,” she agreed. “Jack didn’t look too happy when he saw Benny. Guess he doesn’t like him.”

Lowering his voice Ianto let her know, “It’s not so much about dislike.”

Catching on to what he was implying, she looked at him with astonishment. “Oh!”

Nothing more. More was not necessary. Ianto loved her for that.

“Can I help you somehow?” Toshiko asked.

Ianto nodded. “Yes, with the exit interview packets. I just want to know what I need to include. Maybe you could also have a look at them when I’m finished before I give them to Jack?”

“Sure. No problem.”

“Thank you,” he smiled and produced the parcel. “I got something for you.”

“Oh, Ianto!” she said. “That’s not necessary.”

“I wanted to. I saw it and thought it was perfect for you. C’mon, go ahead,” he gestured her to open the carton.

Seeing his whimsical smile, she could not help herself and eagerly picked at the package. Another carton was inside, but the content was printed on it and realizing what she got, Toshiko beamed up at Ianto before she opened the other carton. Carefully, she pulled the egg cup out and held it up like a trophy.

The cup holding the egg looked like half of a broken eggshell with two duck feet. A computer keyboard was under the right foot and a cable wrapped around both legs, the mouse lying on the left foot.

“Oh, my God! Ianto!” Toshiko cheered. “It’s brilliant!”

“And so much you,” he teased lightly. “As I said, I saw it and thought that you had to have it.”

“You’re a peach,” she beamed and got up to wrap him up in a big hug. “Such a surprise! Thank you.” When she let go of him, she looked around her workstation. “I think I’ll keep it here. Just where…?”

In the end, she sat it down right behind her keyboard.

“I’ll go down to the archives for a while,” Ianto told her and put on his earpiece to be available if necessary.

“Okay,” Toshiko replied. “Call me if you need something.”

“Will do,” he smiled. “Oh, do you have a torch? Some areas in the archives aren’t well lit.”

“Sure. Somewhere around…” she searched on her desk and then opened a drawer, “here.”

“Thank you,” Ianto said as he took the torch. “Later.”

First, Ianto went to his workstation down in the vaults and was surprised to find a handwritten list on the tabletop. Jack actually had managed to finish the description of his symbolized filing system. Ianto sat down for a moment to read it and decided to go and get a better overview over the archives. After examining row after row in two adjacent rooms, Ianto had enough. He needed a break.

_Let’s see what else they have down here._

Strolling down the tunnel, Ianto found another door and opened it. More shelves, crates and artefacts greeted him. Right now, he did not want to know more about the room’s contents and put examining it on his mental list. He went further down into the bowels of the Hub until he reached another set of doors. The one on the left side of the tunnel bore a symbol that stood for danger on Jack’s list and when Ianto tried to open it, he had to realize that it was locked. The door right across led to a small room where he found bucket and broom and other cleaning utensils. There also was a water tap. A door on the left side probably led to the room that lay at the end of the tunnel.

Ianto peeked inside. It was quite big. He closed the door again and tried the one at the end of the tunnel to see his assumption confirmed. The beam of his torch could not quite reach the other side of the room. It seemed to be empty when Ianto strolled in. There were a couple of boxes, but that was all. Ianto felt a light breeze and his mind started to race.

_Oh, kids, this would be brilliant!_

Shining above with the torch showed him that the ceiling was higher than it was in the tunnel. The room really was quite spacious.

“We could turn the storage room into a lock!” Ianto mused aloud. “It doesn’t have to be an air lock, just a room we can enter through where we can store things and make sure that nothing is getting out.”

Once more, he looked around and a plan formed in his mind. He needed to make a sketch and outline what he needed to secure the room against breakout attempts. The ventilation shaft for example needed another grid that would not let the small animals through. Otherwise, they could climb into the shaft and come out in the main Hub. Not a good thing as long as Jack still reacted phobic to the spidermice.

“That will work!” Ianto cheered. “I’m sure it will! I just have to make sure that I don’t leave Jack any reason to argue.”

Ianto looked at his watch. Another hour and he would return to the Hub to see what the others were doing. Maybe he would go up to the tourist office to check how they could make it a better front as he waited for Ydris as well. If the computer there worked, he could even start to work on a first draft of the exit documents.

With a whole bunch of ideas fresh in mind, Ianto continued his exploration.

 

xXx

 

After his shift, Andy Davidson found himself at Cardiff Bay. He had no idea why he came to Mermaid Quay as it was not a place he usually frequented. Strolling across the Roald Dahl Plass, he got down to the boardwalk and leaned on the railing. Overlooking the bay, he watched the boats and the people.

Ever since he had seen the lizard at Mrs. Sandford’s flat, he could not shake the feeling that he encountered it before. Still he could not remember when or under which circumstances.

It bugged him. Not knowing put him on edge. It was like a déjà vue, just the other way round.

_Like when you’re searching for something. Your keys for example. You try to remember where you’ve last seen them. You’re racking your mind because you believe you know it. It’s just an inch away, but you can’t grasp it._

An annoying feeling.

_Bugger! Why can’t I remember?_

Shaking his head, he tried to clear his mind. Maybe it was better if he forgot about it, but that was the point as the sight of the lizard had triggered a vicious circle. He could not remember where he had seen the creature but he could not stop thinking about it either.

 _Maybe it’s got something to do with the missing day?_ Andy wondered. _That would explain why I can’t grasp the memories. I mean, if I forgot that I had an all over body waxing there could be so many other things that I’ve done and don’t remember._

Andy wished that he also did not remember the day after the missing one. After waking up in his living room, his partner Gwen and a stranger who called himself Ydris sleeping in the easy chair and on the sofa beside him, he did not think anything was wrong and Gwen also did not say a thing… but when he went into the bathroom he saw that he did not have a single hair on his head. Even his eyebrows were gone. Returning to the living room and confronting Gwen, she sheepishly declared that she did not want to disturb him, only to dissolve into laughter next.

_That was soooo nice of her. I could’ve strangled Gwen. It was **not** funny!_

Thankfully, his hair was growing back. It was not very long yet, but at least he was not completely bald anymore. Finally, he looked like a normal human being again.

_Snippets of events. Only pictures. A quick motion. Can’t even grasp what it is, a swinging coat or something? Heavy rain. Another thing we were told about later, the strong thunderstorm that made the others think Cardiff would be washed away. We missed it and yet I’ve got flashbacks of heavy rainfall._

_And then there’s Darth Vader. Why in bloody hell do I connect Darth Vader with the missing events?_

Andy did not have a clue.

He sighed. He knew he would not find the answers here so he decided to go to the animal shelter to see if someone came to claim the lizard. As he was getting hungry, he went up the stairs to Eddy’s Diner to have a burger beforehand.

 

tbc…


	22. Startling encounters

“Hey, Ianto!” Toshiko called out when he emerged from the tunnel. “There you are again.”

“Yep. Did you need anything? Coffee? I told you I’d be down in the archives.”

“No, I’m good,” she replied, silently scolding herself for having greeted him so enthusiastically. Being rather reserved herself, she felt awkward about giving away that she already loved the young, diligent Welshman.

“Just glad to see me then?” Ianto teased with a quirked smile and a wink.

Feeling herself blush, Toshiko waved it off and turned to her monitors.

Stepping up behind her chair, Ianto leaned in to her and whispered conspiratorially, “I think I found a place for the spidermice.”

“That’s great,” she commented. “Where?”

“At the end of one of the tunnels,” he explained. “There’s a big unused room and the best thing is that there’s a smaller one right next to it that could serve as a lock… to make sure none of them escapes when we go in.”

“Well, you need to sell it to Jack.”

“I will,” he nodded, “When I have the plan worked out and I can catch the right moment.”

“Sounds like a plan already,” Toshiko praised.

“A rough draft,” the Welshman snickered. “By the way, is the computer in the tourist office working?”

“Should be,” Toshiko nodded.

“Okay. Just wondered, because I thought I could open the tourist office for an hour or so until Ydris comes in. Or was he here already?”

“No, not yet.”

“And what are you working on?”

“I’m currently checking some reports. The police were called to a domestic disturbance and the officers involved the animal catchers.”

“Why’s that interesting for us?” Ianto asked. “Aliens as pets?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out,” Toshiko said. “They mentioned an unusual lizard and as we caught a pack of small dinosaurs while the Rift was acting up, I thought I’d check it out.”

“You mean the procompsognathus dinosaurs you mentioned at the pub?”

“Yeah. Jack caught them with the help of the constables.”

“Except one, though,” Ianto stated. “And you can’t have dinosaurs on the loose now, can you?”

“Nope.”

“Tell me more about those police officers,” Ianto suggested.

“Actually there’s not much I can tell you about Gwen and Andy. We didn’t spend much time together as they were out in the field with Jack.” She smirked. “I’m sure he’d love to tell you about it.”

“And I’m sure you know a lot more about them than their names,” Ianto chuckled and murmured teasingly, “exactly _because_ you know their names.”

“Well, everything you’d find out about them as well,” Toshiko teased back.

“Find out about who?” Jack cut in.

“The constables,” Ianto replied in Toshiko’s stead. “Tosh just noticed that someone found an unusual lizard.”

“Could be one of the dinosaurs,” Toshiko confirmed, searching for more details. “Maybe you should check it out.”

“Where is it now?” Jack asked thoughtfully.

“At the animal shelter, I presume.”

“Ianto,” Jack turned to the Welshman, an excited grin cracking his features at the prospect of his company, “would you like to come see a dinosaur?”

“Actually, I think that Owen would be of better use, sir,” Ianto declined. “He’s not a vet, but he knows how to administer sedatives.”

Jack looked actually disappointed.

“Besides, one of us should be here when Ydris arrives.”

“True,” Jack conceded and shouted, “Owen!”

“Yeah?” the medic’s voice waved up from the med bay.

“We need to check something out!”

“Coming,” Owen grunted.

Jack smirked and went back to his office to get his coat. When he returned, he brushed his hands down his sides and accompanied the gesture with an admiring smile at Ianto. The Welshman could not help but roll his eyes. Seeing Jack pout at it, though, he felt a surge of affection that surprised him. So Ianto was glad that Owen just came up the stairs to join them.

“All right, let’s go,” Jack said, and both men left the Hub to get to the animal shelter.

Ianto glanced at Toshiko, a bit surprised that Jack gave in so easily. He could not imagine the captain being coy, so maybe Jack really was just inviting him along to see a live dinosaur. Whatever the case, he had lost his chance for now. Shrugging, he asked Toshiko if she needed anything from him and when she said no, he headed out the cog door and up to the tourist office.

 

xXx

 

At the animal shelter, Jack asked for the lizard that was brought in by the police. When he was asked for identification, he introduced himself as a member of the Department for Natural Environment of the Cardiff Council and demanded to see the animal.

“It’s a fascinating specimen,” the young woman chattered on as she went down a row of cages. “We tried to identify it but we’re still not certain what it actually is. Our best bet would be the South American common basilisk as it can walk on its hind legs.”

“We assume that it escaped from a pet shop,” Jack told her. Owen followed close behind but did not chime into the conversation.

“I’m sure we’d find someone who could take it in,” she said.

“Oh, we’re not worried that it wouldn’t be taken good care of,” Jack explained. “We have to make sure, though, that it doesn’t carry any diseases.”

“Our vet couldn’t examine it yet as it arrived only a few hours ago.”

“We’ll do that,” Jack assured her. “And if it’s healthy we’ll find a place for it at a zoo.”

“A zoo?” she queried with mild astonishment.

“Yes,” Jack told her firmly. “As the woman it was taken from obviously didn’t know how to handle it, it would be better off in professional hands, don’t you think?”

“You may be right there,” she agreed and stepped into another room. “Here is it. Isn’t it marvellous?”

Taking a look at the creature, Jack grunted a forced yes. This single individual did not look dangerous, but Jack recalled only too vividly how the whole pack had gnawed on him like a dog on his favourite bone, killing him slowly and agonizingly.

“I can help you with putting it into the transport box,” the woman offered as Owen stepped forward.

“Thank you…”

“Melissa,” she replied with a smile that the medic returned.

“Thank you, Melissa.”

He opened the flap of the box while she pulled on thick gloves. When she nodded, Owen opened the cage for her and as soon as she reached in to grab the lizard it bit at her fingers and tried to scratch with the claws on its feet. Unperturbed, Melissa grabbed its body and gently but firmly took its neck right behind the head to keep it from biting.

“Hold it steady,” she scolded when Owen slightly backed off as she turned with the writhing lizard in her gloved hands.

“Wow, it’s quite a fighter,” the medic praised.

“Yes, it is,” Melissa proudly agreed. “So… there you go.” She closed the flap and the little dinosaur was safely tucked away in Owen’s box.

“You’re a brave girl, Melissa,” Owen smirked. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Tonight?” she chuckled. “Tonight I already have a date.”

Owen actually looked crestfallen which amused Jack who hid it behind a stern façade.

“I hope he’s nice,” Owen grunted.

“Very,” Melissa confirmed. “I’ll pick him up after work and we’ll go out. Later we’ll have dinner… he’s quite sportive and the nicest fellow on the planet.”

“You know,” Owen muttered, “I didn’t need to know all the details. Why didn’t you just say...”

“His name’s Diego,” she said and pulled the gloves off.

“Diego,” Owen parroted, imagining a Hispanic with black hair, well-toned, and good humoured.

“Yes. If you don’t mind, the three of us could go together…”

“But…” That was not really what Owen had imagined.

Laughing softly, she took mercy on him and explained, “Diego’s my border collie.”

“Oh,” was all Owen could utter. Now he noticed that Jack almost choked on his suppressed laughter. Glowering at his boss, he thought hard about an appropriate reply. “I love dogs, I’m just not always sure if they like me. I’d love to give it a try, though.”

Still chuckling to himself, Jack took the transport box from Owen and stepped out of the room… only to run into someone else. When he looked up to meet the other’s gaze, he stared right at Constable Andy Davidson.

“Hey,” he muttered, instantly wondering if this was a coincidence.

“Hey,” Andy replied and for a split second his face lit up with joy before his expression changed to confusion and an astonished, “Captain Harkness!” escaped him.

For Jack, watching the reflections of the constable’s mixed emotions was disconcerting. Just for a moment, he believed that the retcon did not work, but then he recalled that Andy had already recognized him as the head of Torchwood when they first met at the Heddlu headquarters. Back then, the young constable had no idea, though, what Torchwood did. Now Andy’s view drifted down to the box the captain held and a scowl darkened his features.

“Something wrong?” Jack asked, dreading that meeting him now might break the chemical amnesia.

“No…” Andy murmured, unable to take his eyes off the lizard. “I came to see this lizard.” Suddenly, he seemed to realize that it was sitting in a transport box. “You have no right! Where are you taking it?”

Jack eyed him with curiosity. Remembering that he should not be knowing who Andy was, he asked in a playful tone, “And I should be telling you that because…”

“I’m Constable Davidson,” Andy replied and looked a bit sheepish as he became aware that he was not in uniform right now. “My partner and I dealt with the incident and called in the animal shelter when it became obvious that the family was unable to cope with their pet. It may be dangerous if not handled right, but it’s nothing to do with your spooky-dos.”

 _If it’s not my striking personality it might be the dino that triggers his memories,_ Jack thought grimly. He got a bad feeling at Andy’s vehemence. _I need to scatter his concerns._

“We’ve got the necessary experience to deal with it,” he told him, “and are going to take it to the Department for Natural Environment. This is an exotic species and will have to be tested for disease. If it is healthy, we’ll rehome it in a facility where they know how to properly care for it.”

At that the young constable looked concerned. “And if it’s not healthy?”

“It will be cured and then relocated, or put down, depending on the illness,” Jack told him without whitewashing the facts.

Andy’s worry switched to alarm. “And if it’s sick, what about the people it attacked?” he asked.

“Well, if it’s communicable to humans, we’ll get their contact information from the incident report,” Jack lied, and suddenly, he found himself wondering how many times over the years people had contracted something from an alien encounter and become seriously or even fatally ill. It had never been Torchwood policy to follow up with exposed civilians unless they were suspected of harbouring parasites. Perhaps that was something he should look into. It would not be hard for Toshiko to run a search of names in their files against hospital admissions within a few weeks of their Torchwood cases. If there was a correlation, then he could think about extended follow-up.

“What if something winds up that did not show in your tests?” Andy queried.

“Our tests are very thorough,” Jack assured him. In his opinion the young constable was too curious. “If you’ll excuse me now.”

“Wait! How can I reach you?”

“You can’t,” Jack chuckled and pushed past the constable. “Goodbye, Constable Davidson.”

“But…” Somewhat confused, Andy stood in the hall and watched the man go, his coat swinging around him as he turned.

“Jack, wait!” another man shouted and almost ran Andy over as he followed.

Looking over his shoulder to Owen, Jack caught a glance at how recognition flit over the constable’s features before it was gone again a second later. Jack scowled. This was quite worrying.

“Hurry up, doctor,” he scolded. Casting a last quick look at Andy, he followed Owen this time. He would have to ask Toshiko to set up surveillance on the constable’s online activities.

 

xXx

 

Up at the tourist office, Ianto wanted to go through a couple of files that belonged to the archives, but he could not quite concentrate, so he stood and stretched his stiff limbs. Time to take a break.

He stepped out onto the boardwalk, producing a package of cigarettes. Only when he lit one, he realized that it had been a while since he had last smoked.

_That must’ve been even before the Cybermen came._

A conflicting thought, actually, and a moment later, he recalled that it was not true either. He had had a cigarette when he had returned to his flat. After his stint at Canary Wharf he came home with a cage full of spidermice, Indian dinner that he had picked up on the way, and the intention of calling Captain Harkness and telling him that he would not be coming back to Cardiff. That was when Owen’s words came to his mind and he fired up his laptop in order to find the medic’s number as it was scribbled onto a carton back at the bedsit in Cardiff. Talking to Owen, though, made his conflicting emotions boil and once he finished the call, he was not sure about anything anymore.

That was when he had needed a cigarette.

If he was honest with himself, he still did not know why he was standing on the boardwalk at Mermaid Quay right now. As he did not seem to have control over his actions, Ianto decided to live in the moment. Enjoying the taste of his cigarette, he leaned on the handrail, overlooking the bay. A ship crossed the bay on its way to the barrage and a couple of sailboats cut through the water. In the distance, a water bus chugged along, heading for the Taff.

It was a warm day for April, even with the sun beginning to set. From the quay above, Ianto heard the chatter of people. Occasionally, a seagull squawked where it soared on the salty breeze coming from the sea.

Drawing on his cigarette, Ianto let his gaze drift across the bay. The quay looked different to when he had last seen it and a lot of people sauntered along the coastline. Just a few yards to his left was an ice cream parlour right above the boardwalk that was connected to the quay with a bridge. As it was too early in the year for ice cream, Cadwallader’s was still closed.

Voices drifted down to the boardwalk. A group of girls, joining at the rail to go to Eddy’s diner next. Ianto could just imagine how they shared the latest gossip over burgers and soda. The young office workers would meet at Starbucks while families and couples went for dinner out to the Italian restaurants on the upper level.

_I could get used to this._

All of a sudden, a hard lump formed in his gut. This scenario was so normal and peaceful. Standing here, enjoying the sun and a cigarette, seemed somewhat surreal. It was almost as if he had no right to be here. Suddenly, the cigarette did not taste all that good anymore.

 _Might be a good day to stop smoking,_ he thought and stubbed out the cigarette against the metal bar of the handrail. _Lisa always disapproved, too._

Of course, he knew that it was a bad habit. Usually, he told himself that it could not be too bad if he got by with a single pack a week. Sometimes, it lasted even two weeks. Now that he thought about it, he did not even wish to smoke during his captivity and the following days. Too much had happened and he still had to come to terms with it.

As bad as it was, it also was a habit he became fond of as he had taken it up after his father’s passing. The scent of the freshly lit cigarette made him nostalgic every time as it reminded him of his tad. Strangely, it brought back only the good memories. All the trouble he had had with his old man remained out of focus then. Paradoxically, even his father would have objected to his smoking.

_I should start my non-smoker life today._

Taking out the still half-full package, he crushed it in his hand. He looked around in search of a bin and found one beside the bench right outside the tourist office. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he already felt better when he tossed the crumpled box into the bin.

On his way back into the tourist office, he paused… with one foot inside and the other still out on the boardwalk.

_What am I doing here?_

With a jolt, he realized that he was stuck with the same madness once more.

_What am I still doing with Torchwood?_

Repeating the question did not make finding the answer any easier. Ianto was not sure anymore how he ended up here. Three’s team had helped him and in exchange he should help with their archives. That was the easy explanation, but there was more to it. Ianto’s problem was that he could not figure out what exactly _more_ was.

_I’m feeling constrained because they helped me._

That was not it and he knew it.

Finally, he forced himself to take the next step into the office. It was an effort to go around the counter to get to the chair behind and he gratefully sank down in it. Taking a deep breath, he released it slowly and closed his eyes. As soon as darkness enveloped him, he saw Lisa’s face in his mind’s eye and he shivered. She was talking to him but he could not understand what she said. Lisa’s image dissolved in a spray of red.

Ianto’s eyes went wide and he needed a second to orientate himself. Hearing something squawk, he got up and was surprised by a swirl of feathers.

“Whooosh! Out!” Ianto shouted and hurried around the counter. “What are you doing in here? Get out! Shoo!”

Thankfully, the seagull fled into the right direction and fluttered out of the front door.

“That’s right!” Ianto yelled as it struggled up onto the handrail and started from there off across the bay. “And don’t come back!”

For just a second, Ianto wished to be as free and footloose as the bird. With a sigh, he went back inside. Now he could have gotten started on the files, but he got no chance as Ydris entered the tourist office a moment later and pulled the door shut behind himself.

“Hey!” the other Welshman greeted. “Did the seagull ask for the way to the waste dump?”

“Hey, Ydris. No, it just popped in to say hello.” He smirked, glad to get distracted from his gloomy thoughts. “So, you’ve got our transport boxes?”

“One box. Singular,” Ydris replied. “Yep, it’s in the car.”

“Right,” Ianto nodded. “Then you should drive into the garage below the Millennium Centre. I’ll let you in.”

“Which level?” Ydris asked.

“Three.”

“All right.” Ydris was about to turn when he sniffed, wrinkled his nose and asked with disapproval, “Do you smoke?”

“Just quit,” Ianto declared with conviction.

At that Ydris laughed. “Good on you. You know, Tobacco is a filthy weed that from the devil does proceed. It stains the fingers, burns the clothes, and makes a chimney of the nose!”

Now Ianto just had to laugh with him. “Where’s that coming from?”

“No idea,” Ydris shrugged. “I picked it up somewhere, but it expresses so well how I feel about smoking.”

“All right,” Ianto said, intent on avoiding a longer discussion, “I’ll meet you at the entrance in the garage then.”

“Fine,” Ydris agreed readily and winked before he left the tourist office.

A few minutes later, Ianto stepped out of the tunnel that led to the armoury and waited for Ydris who drove onto the last free parking space reserved for Torchwood under the names of their fictitious tourist officeas well as Dr. John Smith and Ms. Janet Jones.

“Are you sure the box will fit into the plane?” Ianto chuckled at the sight of the Harwood’s van.

“I’m sure it will,” Ydris smirked as he opened the door to the loading space. “It’s not the size of the truck. I just don’t have a car and didn’t know exactly how big the box would be.”

“Right.”

With another wink, Ydris climbed into the van to shove the crate to Ianto who held it until Ydris was back out and could take the other side to lift it out and set it down.

“Good thinking to bring a barrow,” Ydris said.

They wheeled the crate into the tunnel where they set it down so Ydris could go back and lock the rented van. Then they closed the tunnel up behind them.

“I thought it would be bigger,” Ydris mused aloud as they took the crate to a crossing and further down into the dungeons beneath Roald Dahl Plass, “she needs the space to care for her young after all. But the guy at the animal shipping company assured me that it’s big enough for a German shepherd with its puppies.”

“A German shepherd, huh?”

“Well, they needed her size and I could hardly say that you caught Tasmanian tigers in Bute Park, right?”

“True.”

They brought the box down to the holding cells where the Thylacines awaited their journey to their previous and future homeland. When Ianto approached the safety glass, Ydris noticed that the female tiger seemed more relaxed than the last time.

“Did you spend time with her?” he asked, seeing Ianto squat down in front of the glass and the tiger nudging one of the holes with her nose.

“I think she can sense that I mean her no harm,” Ianto murmured and carefully held a fingertip up to the hole for the grown tiger to take in his scent.

“Animals are good judges of character,” Ydris agreed and hunkered down beside Ianto. “She smells that you’re friendly.” Watching the doglike marsupial sniff, he felt a grin tug on his lips. Lacing his challenge with amusement, he asked, “Talking about scents… what do you think about Jack’s?”

As expected, Ydris caught his fellow Welshman on the wrong foot. Even from the side, he could see how Ianto paused and his eyes grew wide.

Ianto knew he waited too long with his answer, but, dead on target, Ydris addressed one of the things about Jack that made him nervous every time.

Ydris smirked. “Goes straight to your head, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Ianto admitted. “I already wondered which aftershave he uses.”

“I don’t know,” Ydris mused aloud. “I’m not so sure he does use one.”

“You think he smells like that naturally?” Ianto queried incredulously.

Ydris nodded. “Even after our dive in the bay, when the octopus took me and Jack saved my life, it was still there. No aftershave lasts like that.”

Absently, Ianto nodded. “He saved your life?”

“Yep,” Ydris confirmed and stood back up. “Dove after me when the octopus pulled me into the bay. It went into the tunnels, trapping us. Jack shared his breath with me.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” Ydris recalled. “T’was our first kiss. Unforgettable.”

“I can imagine,” Ianto murmured. _Saving handsome men seems to be one of Jack’s hobbies._ He straightened up as well, his gaze still resting on the tigers. They looked lost. Exactly how Ianto felt. Maybe that was why they found a connection to each other.

“Oh, I doubt you can imagine,” Ydris retorted. “You’ve got to experience it.”

Scowling at the other’s conviction, Ianto could not help but ask, “What’s between you and Jack?”

“Between us?” Ydris parroted. “Nothing, really.Wish there was.”

Confused now, Ianto prodded, “But you’re shagging, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, well,” Ydris replied evasively. “If anything, I guess you can call us _friends with benefits._ ” For a moment, he became pensive before he brought the ball back into Ianto’s court, “And what’s that thing between Jack and _you_?”

“We’re… just playing a game,” Ianto told him for lack of a better explanation. In order to buy time, he unnecessarily checked on the box before he finally added, “I think. He can’t stop flirting and I’m trying to handle it.”

“I see,” Ydris murmured thoughtfully. He was not sure what exactly Ianto meant, but he knew that he had read something else out of watching their interaction. So he advised, “You should be careful with the captain.”

Perplexed, Ianto shot back, “Why?”

For a moment, Ydris eyed the other Welshman before he said, “I’m not so sure he’s just playing a game, Ianto.”

“Then what do you think?”

“I think that there’s more to his interest in you.”

“Like what?” Ianto asked with honest confusion.

“Well, I guess you need to figure that one out by yourself.”

Scowling deeply, Ianto shook his head. “Whatever it is, Ydris, I don’t intend to let anything happen between us. Even if I was interested… and I’m not saying I am… it’s too early.”

“I understand that, Ianto,” Ydris assured him. Still he felt the need to say something but cut himself short because he noticed movement at the entry to the corridor.

Hearing steps approach from behind, Ianto turned to see Jack coming down the tunnel.

“My two favourite Welshmen,” the captain cheered. “Is everything ready?”

“Yep,” Ydris confirmed, offering Jack a broad smile. “We’re ready to go.”

“Good,” Jack beamed and eyed the tigers intently. “They’re looking good. You took good care of them. Do you think she knows that they’re going home?”

“And what do you have there?” Ianto asked, gesturing at the transport box Jack was carrying. “The dinosaur?”

“You’ve got a dinosaur?” Ydris asked excitedly. “Let us see!”

“Yep,” Jack cheered, holding up the box. “We’ve got a new visitor. I’m afraid that this one will have to stay, though.”

“It’s cute,” Ydris smirked. “What is it?”

“Procompsognathus triassicus,” Ianto told him matter of factly and leaned forward to have a better look himself. Actually, the chicken-sized prehistoric reptile was quite impressive. “It’s carnivorous by the way.”

“I still like it,” Ydris declared and inched a little closer. Hissing loudly and attacking the door of its cage, the dinosaur expressed its dislike of his proximity, making Ydris back off. “Okay, okay! Compared to you we’re huge and you’re scared. I get it.”

“I’ll take it to a free cell,” Jack stated. “Then we have to see what we’ll do with it.”

“Can we help?” Ianto asked.

“No, just finish up here. I’ll be fine,” Jack assured him. “Thanks, Ydris, for organizing the box.”

“No problem,” Ydris replied. “Thanks for arranging a paid trip to Tasmania.”

“No problem,” Jack grinned and left the tunnel.

“He can be quite harsh,” Ianto murmured thoughtfully as he watched Jack leave, “but he’s got a good heart.”

“Yep,” Ydris agreed. “He’s got a deep love for people in general,” he paused, “and an even deeper one for only a few in particular.”

“Oh, you’re an expert?”

“Nah, I’m an outsider, actually,” Ydris shrugged. “Maybe that’s why I see things the team doesn’t seem to notice.” _Like witnessing him drinking himself to a stupor. He certainly didn’t have his guard up then._ He refrained from mentioning anything about it.

“Probably,” Ianto agreed, wondering if Ydris’s observations were comparable to his own. He would have loved to question him about it, but he sensed that grilling him about Jack would not meet with success. So he asked instead, “How about coffee?”

“Coffee would be great,” Ydris agreed.

“I’m sure the others won’t mind a cup either,” Ianto snickered as they went up the stairs. Entering the main Hub, they parted, Ydris taking a seat on the sofa and Ianto climbing up to the kitchenette to work some coffee magic.

 

tbc…


	23. Departure

Captain Jack Harkness had to admit that he would miss this.

The fingers brushing along his cheek and threading in his hair.

The kisses breathed onto his chest.

The skin rubbing against his own.

After a long workday there was nothing better for relieving the stress than relaxing in bed with someone he loved. Actually, Jack did not think that the last day had been especially strenuous, but he felt drained nevertheless which might still be an after effect of the Cyberinvasion. Which was why he especially enjoyed being caressed now and felt rather nostalgic toward the man on top.

“How long did you say you’ll s-stay in T-tasmania?” he moaned and his voice quivered on the latter words due to Ydris’s ministrations.

“I don’t know yet,” the Welshman replied. “Should I return?”

At that Jack started.

“What kind of question is that?” he asked indignantly.

“A normal one I presume,” Ydris shrugged and pushed himself up, supporting himself on his hands on both sides of Jack’s head… and pinning the captain’s forearms with his weight.

Realizing he was rendered immobile, Jack flexed his muscles. It would not be too difficult to throw the Welshman off, but where would be the fun in that?

“Do you want to stay there?” Jack prodded. “I thought you’d come back when the tigers are out of quarantine.”

“You want me to come back?” Ydris challenged.

Jack leered. “We could pick up where we left off.”

“We didn’t leave off yet,” Ydris whispered as he bent down to nuzzle Jack’s earlobe. As he did, he inhaled the captain’s unique scent and recalled his earlier conversation with Ianto. “By the way,” he murmured, breathing a row of kisses on Jack’s cheek, “do you really smell like this naturally?”

“Huh?” Jack uttered. “Why’s that important?”

“Just wondered,” Ydris worried his bottom lip as he hovered over Jack, “and Ianto said it’d be aftershave.”

Now a huge grin cracked Jack’s features.

“You two are talking about me?” he challenged with a lecherous touch to his voice.

“Yep.”

His curiosity got the better of the captain, “What did he say about me?”

“You’ll have to ask him that yourself,” Ydris said. Grinning, he added, “I’m not one to kiss and tell.”

“You kissed him?!” Jack did not just sound surprised. The emotions behind that one simple question ranged from jealousy to hurt to lust, and even something more Ydris could not quite identify, but whatever it was, he was certain that Ianto was more than just a diversion. Deciding to let the Captain off the hook because he obviously had not really recognized his own feelings regarding the other Welshman yet, Ydris confessed, “It’s just a figure of speech. I’m not going to share our private conversation with you. If you want to know what he said, you can ask him for yourself.”

“Or pull up the CCTV recor...OW!”

Jack yelped when Ydris pinched him.

“Don’t you dare!” he said. “I don’t want him thinking I told you what he said. I think he would view that as betraying a trust. If you want to know, just bloody talk to him, Jack.”

“Okay, okay! Later,” Jack said. “But right now, weren’t we doing something else?”

He stretched up to steal a kiss, and Ydris let him have one, but only one.

“Yeah, we were talking about my future with Torchwood.”

“Hmmm, can we return to the previous subject?”

“No…” Ydris drawled and pressed his legs firmly against Jack’s sides to keep him trapped. “So, are you going to hire me?”

  Jack scowled in confusion.

“W-what?”

  “Are you going to hire me on permanently here at Torchwood?” Ydris demanded.

  “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” Jack protested. “Is that why you were letting me shag you?!”

Ydris was scowling, too, now.

  “Maybe that was part of it,” he admitted with a shrug. “I honestly don’t know anymore. I mean, there was no master plan to seduce you into giving me a job, but you’re a hell of a lot of fun in bed, and if it could help my chances, why not?  Just remember, until tonight, it was always your idea to have me stay.”

Jack was not sure whether to be hurt, offended, embarrassed, or flattered, and he said so.

  Ydris laughed aloud.

  “If it’s any consolation, I’d happily continue shagging you even if I don’t get the job,” he said. Carefully watching for a reaction that he could not find, Ydris went on, “Besides, you and me, that’s not meant to last anyway, is it?”

“Ydris…” Jack started helplessly. “I’m sorry. I know I should have talked to you, but...”

“But what, Jack?”

“Well,” Jack drawled. “You and I never said anything about being exclusive. For me it was all in good fun, just a friendly shag. I’m sorry if I never made that clear...”

“Oh, you did,” Ydris said. “Crystal clear.”

 _But he still sounds pissed off_ , Jack realized. _That’s one of the things I hate about this era of human history. People can't separate sex and love and commitment, and they can’t accept that it is possible to love more than one person._

_Well, that’s not my fault. I was up front with him._

“I’m not angry,” Ydris went on when Jack did not answer. “Bit disappointed maybe… andcertainly jealous, but not angry.”

“You’re not?” Jack rasped, surprising his lover with how insecure he suddenly sounded.

Ydris could not help but smirk. Cocking his head to the side he chuckled, “Maybe just a tiny bit.”

Jack wished he could caress him, but his arms were still pinned beside his head.

“And why are you jealous?”

Incredulously Ydris sat up a little straighter. “You need to ask?”

“I wouldn’t if I knew what you meant.”

Now Ydris was really stunned. _Is Jack really so oblivious? He doesn’t seem naïve at all. I’m sure he has loads of experience with all kinds of relationships. I can’t imagine that he doesn’t know._

Still Jack looked at him with honest curiosity and it dawned on Ydris that the captain really did not know what he was talking about. _Or maybe he just doesn’t think it could be that._

“You’d readily keep Ianto,” he finally grunted and let go of Jack, scooting back and climbing off his lap to sit on the edge of the bed.

Jack propped himself up on his elbows.

“That’s different, Ydris.”

“I know. It’s him you want to play happy families with after all.”

“What?!” Jack gasped with blatant incredulity. “I don’t know where you’re coming from. Ianto already _is_ Torchwood. He signed his contract two years ago in London.”

“Not talking about the job,” Ydris hissed, feeling his anger rise. _Damn! Didn’t want the green-eyed monster to get the better of me._ Steeling himself he told him firmly, “Though, if I was, I believe that I can maintain a professional relationship with him and you regardless of any personal relationship you develop with each other.”

“But…”Now Jack was really confused. Right at that moment, Ydris sounded more like someone from the 51st Century than the 21st.

“Jack,” Ydris cut him short. “It’s okay. I told you I’m jealous, yes, but you said it yourself, we never promised to be exclusive. As much as I enjoyed the sex, that’s really all it was ever meant to be, and I don’t care about that enough to try to screw things up between you and him.”

Jack frowned, but said nothing. He still tried to wrap his head around what his lover was implying. Did his interest in Ianto really go that far? Did he want to pursue a serious relationship with him? To become exclusive?

To his honest surprise he was not scared by that idea.

After a minute, Ydris had to ask, “So... Did I manage to stroke your ego and ease your fears enough to get the job?”

A small smirk played around Jack’s lips.

“You come back from Tasmania… and I’ll let you know.”  
  Ydris snorted. Then he leaned in to give Jack an affectionate peck on the cheek.  
  “Bastard.”

“Yeah…” Jack reached out to caress Ydris’s bare chest, “but you wouldn’t want me any other way, would you?”

“No.”

Shifting his position, Jack continued to fondle his lover who let his fingertips run along Jack’s side in return. They held each other’s gazes, trying to discern what the other was thinking. It was obvious, though, that Ydris was not ready to return to bed. Jack sighed.

“You know,” he murmured, “I wouldn’t be playing.”

Ydris nodded. He did not forget the line Jack was now referring to. _Good to know. Ianto won’t be willing to share._ He kept watching the captain.

“It’s not so much that I prefer him,” Jack explained somewhat helplessly, trying to figure out what he meant for himself as he went along. “I… feel a deeper connection to him. I like you a lot, Ydris, but Ianto... It’s been a long time since I shared my life with someone.”

“And you want to share your life with him.”

 _Yes,_ Jack realized. It took his breath away. When did their game become so serious?

“If he lets me…” he trailed off. “I think, if I’m to have any chance at all, I think he needs to know he’s the only one.”

“Yeah.”

Jack’s eyes grew wide at the simple statement. “That’s it? I’m telling you that I want to share my life with someone else and all you’ve got to say is _yeah_?”

“What more is there to say?” Ydris murmured and leaned forward to kiss Jack on the cheek. As he did he pulled his legs up and came to lie halfway on the captain who readily sank back down on the pillows. “You just confirmed my suspicions.”

“You are an amazing man, Ydris Rhydderch,” Jack proudly stated.

“Obviously not amazing enough to be hired by you,” the Welshman teased and firmly pushed his knee between Jack’s legs, making him groan with aching pleasure.

“I told you, I’ll think about it,” Jack hissed when fingernails bit in the firm bud of his left chest. “It’s just… It’s got nothing to do with Ianto, all right? My reluctance. I don’t… Shit! Ydris!” he grunted as the young man roughly teased his nipples. “I’m trying to be earnest!”

“Okay,” Ydris agreed, putting his palms on Jack’s shoulders, pinning him again. “Try to be earnest.”

Jack snorted but pulled himself together, “I don’t want you to be in a situation like the one with the octopus again.”

“You’re scared for me?” Ydris smirked. “That’s cute.”

Jack scowled.

“Jack, I get that Torchwood is dangerous,” Ydris declared. “You’re risking your life on an every-day basis. Still I asked you for a job. I know what I’m doing.”

“Probably,” Jack conceded. “But it’s not just that.”

“What is it then?” Ydris prodded, growing impatient. “Just tell me.”

Jack was about to explode.

“You’re reckless!” he snapped. “Ydris, you already put yourself in the line of fire to protect me. Do you realize what a paradox that is?” Seeing the young man’s features crumple he knew that his words hit home. _Good. I don’t want him to die a meaningless death._ “Besides…” Too late he realized that he should have stopped.

“Besides?”

Biting his bottom lip Jack contemplated if it really was wise to tell the young man about his other doubts. _Maybe not wise, but fair._

“Suzie,” Jack said. “She’s our technician and you’d be doing her job. That wouldn’t be fair.”

“She’s also second in command, right?” Ydris queried. “Besides, I’m applying for field agent, not technician. And even if I was, we might complement each other.”

Jack did not look convinced.

“I’m not so sure it would work,” he replied evasively. “Your temperaments are quite alike as well.”

With an exasperate sigh, Ydris let himself heavily sink down on Jack’s chest.

“So no chance at all?” he moaned against Jack’s neck.

Jack felt his resolve crumble.

“I didn’t say that,” he heard himself say. “Tomorrow you’ll fly to Tasmania and when you’re back I’ll let you know.”

“Tomorrow?” Ydris glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “You mean in a few hours, huh?”

“Is it really so late already?”

“So early,” Ydris grunted and started to tease Jack again. “We’ll better make good use of the time we’ve got left.”

Jack could not disagree and surrendered himself to Ydris’s love-making.

 

xXx

 

Wandering down into the vaults the next morning, Ianto found Ydris standing in front of the cell that held the Tasmanian tigers.

“Did you even go home?”

“No,” Ydris replied sheepishly. “Was having some more fun before the trip.”

“I see.”

Ianto tried not to show his annoyance, especially as it came totally unexpected and unwelcome. Out of the blue something stirred inside of him and formed a small, hard knot in his stomach.

 _It’s none of my business,_ he thought with irritation, _that Ydris spent the night shagging the captain._

“I got all my business in order,” Ydris explained unprompted, “and… we also needed to sort some issues.” He tried to meet Ianto’s gaze and when he did, he could see the other Welshman scowl. Ignoring that, he went on. “I’ll be away for quite a while after all.”

At that Ianto’s features darkened with aggravation.

“Not what you’re thinking, Ianto,” Ydris gently scolded, guessing right that Ianto assumed he was marking his territory. “I gave up my job after all, so I wanted to know if Jack will offer me a new one when I’m back.” He sighed with a short rush of resignation. “I could also imagine staying in Tasmania.”

Sceptically eyeing the other man, Ianto asked, “What do you want in Tasmania?”

“What do I want here?” Ydris challenged.

“Jack?”

Snorting a laugh, Ydris leaned against the cell’s glass wall.

“And getting caught in the crossfire?” he challenged. “I don’t think so.”

“Crossfire?” Ianto felt a little stupid for not catching on. “Jack’s with you. Why should you get in anyone’s crossfire?”

Laughing out loud, Ydris gasped, “Sorry, Ianto, but that’s just ridiculous!” Still chuckling, Ydris tried to judge his opposite before he remarked, “We’re just shagging, that’s all.”

“But…”

“But what?” Ydris cut him short. “I know there’s nothing going to come out of our relationship… if you can say that we have a relationship at all. We’re just having fun with each other. Nothing more…” he paused and a wistful smile cracked his features, “but nothing less either.”

Ianto frowned.

“You know, as Jack’s never going to hire me, staying in Tasmania could be an unexpected opportunity.”

“You want to stay with Torchwood?” Ianto asked, surprising himself with a surge of confusion.

“It’s a fascinating job.”

“Yeah…” Ianto muttered, thinking back to his own early fascination with the Institute and the phenomenal arrogance that led to its downfall. In hindsight, he was anything but certain that he would make the same decisions again.

“You don’t sound convinced,” Ydris teased lightly.

“Well, I have every reason to be cautious,” Ianto replied. “Did you see the ghosts turn into Cybermen?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that was Torchwood’s doing,” Ianto all but hissed. “So maybe you should think twice about what you’re wishing for.”

“And yet you’re still here.”

Ydris’s statement caught Ianto on the wrong foot.

“I have my reasons,” he said brusquely, hoping to stall further prodding.

“So do I.”

Once more, Ydris triggered Ianto’s annoyance. Seeing the other’s features become earnest only intensified his irritation.

“It’s not the sex that draws me in,” the other Welshman told him bluntly, “though that’s most amazing… and I think that you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

To Ianto’s chagrin, he felt that Ydris was right.

“And by the way…” Ydris paused for effect, “Jack _never_ asked _me_ out on a date.”

Thrown by the comment, Ianto could only stare at him as he passed. Looking back over his shoulder, a mysterious smile cracked Ydris’s features before he finally went on to meet who entered the vaults.

“You’re doing it again, huh?” Jack issued an amused challenge.

“Doing what again, sir?” Ianto asked.

“Talking about me,” Jack smirked. “Am I right or am I right?” His gaze drifted from Ianto to Ydriswho leaned in to try and steal a kiss from him. Taking a step to the side, Jack prodded, “What was the subject?”

“We were just discussing your aftershave,” Ydris claimed, clearly disappointed by being unsuccessful.

His lie was quite obvious for Jack who ignored it, “Never wear any.”

“You smell like that naturally?” Ianto blurted out. Too late, he snapped his mouth shut. He bit his tongue and rolled his eyes.

“Fifty-first century pheromones,” Jack shrugged even though he was pretty pleased by Ianto’s reaction that told him that his interest probably was mutual after all. “You guys have _no_ idea.”

“Well, then give us one,” Ydris prodded with a mischievous smirk.

Laughing good-naturedly, Jack playfully trailed Ydris’s cheekbone with a fingertip, his eyes fixed on Ianto, though.

“I already gave you ideas, didn’t I?” he lasciviously drawled. “Which would falsify the results of any experiment I could conduct with you.” Giving Ydris’s shoulder a quick squeeze, Jack went on, “and demonstrating it on Ianto would be unfair. I promised to keep my distance.”

Despite the captain’s words, both men felt magnetically drawn to him. All Ianto could do was stare, captured by the pale blue eyes that never strayed aside as well as by the pheromones.

“I have to admit, though,” Jack murmured lasciviously, “that it takes all my willpower to withstand those gorgeous blue eyes and your luscious mouth.”

Entranced, Ianto had to muster all his willpower not to melt against the captain. Abruptly, though, the effect evaporated, leaving Ianto momentarily confused

“Actually, I should choose someone else in order to show it to you,” Jack declared innocently. “Maybe Owen. As he’s totally _not_ interested, it would make the demonstration all the more impressive.”

Realizing that he had been influenced by said pheromones, Ianto was getting increasingly annoyed. The fact that Jack shamelessly flirted with both of them did nothing to appease him, and that he threatened to use Owen for _demonstration_ topped it off. It did not even take another meaningful look from Jack to make him erupt, “Do you plan to sleep with both of us? What if we didn’t want to share? Which of us are you stringing along?”

All Jack could do was stare. Standing in the middle of the aisle, his balled fists on his hips, and fire sparking from his eyes, Ianto was a magnificent sight. But the Welshman was not finished yet.

“Only a cad would court two lovers at once. I don’t know if there is a word for the type of man who would court them both within earshot of each other.”

 “Did you say lovers?” The captain’s grin was far too delighted to be lascivious. “Does that mean you love me, Ianto Jones?”

  With a dramatic eye-roll Ianto said, “Right now, I barely find you tolerable, sir.”

  Jack actually looked hurt at that.

  “If anyone cares to know, I usually find you reasonably pleasant,” Ydris cut in.

  Jack turned his grin on Ydris, but it was not the megawatt smile Ianto got at his mention of lovers.

“I’ll settle for reasonably pleasant.”

  Not sure why he was so irritated, Ianto grumbled, “Perfect. It’s settled then. You two deserve each other. Now can we please get these beasts crated for their journey to their ancestral home?”

They could.

Between the three of them it was not too hard to convince the female tiger. Once her pups were in the box she joined them readily. All the men had to do was push the flap closed and their work was done.

Taking the box upstairs turned out to be more difficult, but in the end they shoved it onto the loading space of the lorry, ready to leave for the airport. Ydris went to get his last bag from down in the Hub. Waiting for him, Jack and Ianto stood beside the lorry, sharing an uncomfortable silence.

“Well, that’s it then,” Jack muttered when Ydris reappeared and tossed his bag into the driver’s cabin of the truck.

“Yeah.”

“We’ll miss you.”

Ydris snorted with wry amusement. “You and your little friend?” he teased.

“I meant the team,” Jack pouted.

“I know.”

Ydris’s smirk was invitation enough and Jack dove in for a passionate kiss. Beside them, Ianto rolled his eyes.

“Fine, get into the cabin,” Ydris demanded when they parted and shoved Jack in the right direction. When he was out of earshot, Ydris cornered Ianto who was about to return into the base.

“Don’t be mad at him,” Ydris told him. “As you said yourself, he can’t help himself. He’s being forward and he’ll miss me. Don’t blame him for seeking comfort in a goodbye-snog.”

“None of that’s my business,” Ianto replied.

“Did you even hear what he said earlier?” Ydris all but thundered, forcing himself to keep his voice down so Jack could not hear them. “He promised you to keep his distance until you’re ready! He’s not giving such a promise easily.”

“But…”

“No, Ianto,” Ydris cut him short, shaking his head. “I wish you the best of luck. For all his bravado and blustering… Jack’s not shallow, quite the contrary, and he…”

“Do you think I wouldn’t know that?” Ianto hissed, recalling the profound conversations he had with the captain. “I know he’s a very deep and complex personality. I know he’s upfront about his sexuality. I know he has principles. That’s _not_ the problem, all right?”

“Sorry,” Ydris muttered, realizing that he shot past the mark. “I was under the impression that you missed or misinterpreted Jack’s signals.”

“Even if I did,” Ianto snarled. “Why do you care?”

  “I…” Ydris paused. “I already care about him, and I don’t want to see him get hurt. If he’s already in love with you...”

  “Don’t use such big words, Ydris,” Ianto scolded. “We met only a few days ago. How can you possibly know how Jack’s feeling?”

  A soft chuckle escaped Ydris.

  “Love at first sight? It does exist, you know.”

  “But… Jack?”

  “Why not?” Ydris shrugged. “He’s different, but he’s still human. He can fall just as easily as any of us.”

Ianto knew only too well that Jack was human. What he could not wrap his head around, though, was how the forward captain could be serious about one person while still flirting with another. So far he saw hardly a difference. It was the stark contrast of the pensive immortal and the cheeky young man he reverted to, that he could not reconcile.

“Why me?” Ianto asked incredulously.

“That’s something I won’t speculate about,” Ydris replied. “All I can say is that I see the difference between how he treats me and how he dances around you. He’s not just flirting. He’s courting. And I think he’s serious.”

Sceptically, Ianto eyed the other Welshman.

“Hey, Ydris!” Jack shouted out of the truck’s window. “Don’t you have a plane to catch?”

“Yes, I do!” he shouted back and turned a last time to Ianto, “Thanks for the tickets. I’ll call when we’ve arrived. Take care!”

With that he left Ianto standing and climbed into the lorry. Ianto still stood and stared at the same spot when the truck had long left.

 

tbc…


	24. Liaisons

On his way back fromRhooseairport, Jack had time to think. Of course, he knew that the younger men were talking about him. He would have been disappointed if they were _not_ talking. What he did not know was what _exactly_ they were discussing. They could not compare and Jack did not really believe that they would. As Ydris had been steadfast about not sharing what Ianto had entrusted to him, Jack also did not think that he would relay any details about their love-making.

_What is it then?_

Heaving a sigh, Jack drove the lorry on toward Harwood’s.

_Maybe Ydris explained to Ianto that we’re just friends? Well, when I say just, I mean in comparison to being exclusive, which we’re not._ _Without wanting to diminish what we have, of course, as it’s special. They all are special one way or the other._

The weather was changing. Heavy clouds hung over the capital city of Wales. Soon it would rain and Jack hoped that it would not be too bad when they had to drive to London the next day.

_How serious am I willing to be with Ianto? Do I want more than a shag?_

For a moment, he had to concentrate on traffic. Once he had turned left, he let his thoughts wander again.

_Yes, more than just shagging. But how much more? Commitment?_

A lump formed in his throat.

At the same time, he felt butterflies in his stomach. The idea of having a deeper relationship with Ianto excited him.

 _More than imagining a shag,_ Jack realized. _Oh, how I would love to be touched by him. Feel those elegant hands on my skin. Sense his lips brush against my own._

A chill ran down his back.

_I need to give him some space, though. Rushing things would ruin any chance I might have. Time’s not ripe yet._

To his own surprise, he did not mind having to wait and that alone was telling. When Jack had returned the lorry and took a taxi back to the bay, he felt eased, yet determined, and was looking forward to meeting the young Welshman again.

 

xXx

 

For once, Ianto was glad that the others had helped themselves to the coffee he had prepared. That way, he could vanish in the vaults unnoticed. First, he busied himself with sorting some more artefacts, but when he could not focus on the task anymore, he paused with a cup of coffee of his own.

Leaning back in his office chair, he let his mind wander and came back to his conversation with Ydris. The other Welshman seemed pretty concerned about his relationship with Jack, which was somewhat strange for Ianto.

_He sounded genuine when he said that he cares about Jack. Still, why would he care about us getting together or not?_

There was a thought.

Getting together.

It seemed just as strange.

_Did I really just think about getting together with Jack? Seriously? Heck, just a few days ago I was engaged to Lisa!_

His insides constricted at recalling his fiancé.

 _And yet I can’t deny that there is something between Jack and me. There_ is _a connection. It’s not just those ruddy pheromones. God, I could’ve slapped him for that! If that stuff’s really that effective he should be careful about using it._

Ianto did not think that Jack could have made him do anything against his will, but on the other hand, he knew for sure that it would have been next to impossible to say no to him.

 _Let’s just say I’d like to explore things and try and figure out what could come out of a relationship with Jack,_ Ianto mused. _What would that entail? Going to Cardiff would be only one thing on the list. I’m sure I could find a job here. Do I want that? Do I want to stay in London? In the flat that I shared with Lisa?_

There was another thought that made him uncomfortable.

 _Finding another place to live would help with moving on,_ he thought. _Does it matter if it’s in London or Cardiff? Probably not. Cardiff is around the corner from Newport, but it still doesn’t mean I’d run into family. Though, catching up on that front would be good, too._

_What would I do for a living? Find another coffee shop? Work at an office?_

_Stay with Torchwood?_

For a moment, he let that thought linger, trying to see how he felt with it. To his own surprise, he was not appalled. After his ordeal at Canary Wharf, he had expected to have reservations against working for the Institute. It was true, though, that Torchwood Three was different and with the right leadership it could thrive and really make a difference.

Only then, Ianto realized that he pictured a leading role for himself in that scenario. Scared by that idea, he got up and left the archives without a clear destination. He did not want to go to the central Hub either as he did not feel like dealing with his co-workers. There had to be something else he could do.

After a moment of thinking, he found an issue that needed dealing with. Determined, he went to the cells. The tigers were gone, but they had left their traces. Arming himself with a bucket and a cleaning mop, Ianto strode to the vacant cell. On his way in, his gaze fell on the other cells in the row and he sighed. This would be a long day.

 

xXx

 

When Jack returned to his office, he felt disappointed by not finding a thermos flask on his desk. Asking Toshiko about Ianto’s whereabouts, he was told that the Welshman wanted to go to the archives, so Jack went to see if the archivist got a grip on his symbolism now. The archives were vacant, though, and Jack continued his search.

He found Ianto in the cells, on his hands and knees, scrubbing the floor.

  “Really, you lecture me about professional behaviour and then you tempt me like that?” he teased, taking in the view of that beautiful backside clad in pinstriped wool.

  He could almost hear the eyeroll as Ianto replied, “The tigers made quite a mess in the short time they lived here. Just because Weevils are content to live in the sewers doesn’t mean our other guests are as comfortable with feculence. Someone needed to clean the cells. The others were busy, and frankly I doubt they would do a satisfactory job of it, so I decided to do that myself. Now, are you going to stand there and ogle, or are you going to help me?”

  “I think I’ll ogle,” Jack smirked.

  When Ianto stopped in his scrubbing and tensed up, Jack quickly back-pedalled, “I’m kidding! I’m kidding. What can I do?”

“Get the mop and the bucket and swab down the walls and floor of the next cell,” Ianto said. “Leave it wet. I want it to soak in the disinfectant solution for a while before I scrub.”

  “Ok,” Jack agreed, “but you know, if I do the one across the aisle I can multi-task.”

  _I know I am gonna regret it_ , Ianto thought, _but I just have to know where he’s going with this._  
  “How, Jack, will swabbing down the cell across the aisle allow you to multi-task when doing the one next door won’t?”

  “Well, if I do the one across the aisle, I can ogle and help at the same time,” Jack explained innocently.  
  Ianto stifled a snort of laughter with a long-suffering groan.

  “Suit yourself,” he moaned, unwilling to let Jack know he was enjoying the teasing, “as long as you actually do the work.”

Grinning madly, Jack grabbed mop and bucket and carried it over to the cell to set to work. As predicted, his gaze kept drifting back to the young Welshman. Between swift strokes with the mop, he watched the object of his desire and started daydreaming, getting so lost that he was only startled back to awareness when Ianto removed the mop from his grip and lightly bounced the stick against the captain's forehead.

“Stop staring holes into the air,” Ianto told him gravely. “It makes you look stupid.”

“Huh?”

“That... doesn’t help with reverting the impression.”

Jack looked crestfallen.

“You don’t have a good opinion of me, do you?” he asked, offering a glimpse at an insecurity that did not want to fit with his usual image.

“Only when you regress to an adolescent boy,” Ianto scolded. “Can you finish this without undressing me with your eyes?”

“Yeah.”

“Good boy,” Ianto praised. “Show me how thorough you can be.”

“Very!” Jack beamed, clearly imagining impure activities. Seeing Ianto’s stern gaze, his features crumbled and he forced himself to quickly straighten up, standing at attention and shouting with mock salute, “Aye, sir! At your service, sir!”

Ianto could not help but laugh.

“You’re impossible.”

“I’ve been called worse,” Jack shrugged and began to scrub intently. This time, he did not allow himself to be distracted and washed the whole cell.

“Finished!” he called out with joy, looking for Ianto to share his triumph.

“Good,” the Welshman nodded. “While it soaks, I’ve got other work to do. Thank you for your help, sir.”

“No problem. What else are you working on?”

“I still need to prepare the papers for One tomorrow,” Ianto explained. “Tosh will have a look at them before I’ll print them all, just to be on the safe side.”

“I’m sure they’ll be spot on,” Jack assured him.

Ianto appeared to be sceptical, but before the captain could proceed charming, an alert called him way.

 

xXx

 

Constable Andy Davidson had enough. He was so fed up with weird images that tried to manifest themselves in his mind. Nothing of what flashed before his inner eye made any sense and all he wanted was to forget about it when he strolled into his favourite pub and got himself a beer. Of course, one beer did not suffice and a second followed suit. Sitting in a corner, he stayed by himself with his brooding.

Handsome Captain Harkness came to his mind. When he met him at the animal shelter, he thought, just for a second, that he knew why Harkness showed up there, but just like that the idea was gone again. Like a déjà vu. And just like that, the vague connection with spooky-dos that he felt did not stop bugging him.

With a sigh, Andy lifted his glass to take another drink. As he busied himself drinking, he first did not notice the newcomer in the pub, but when he heard loud voices, he looked around to see what was going on.

_What the hell…?_

Andy was not the only one staring at the… person that argued with the barkeeper. Whatever it was wore an elegant suit and a white shirt with ruffles instead of cuffs and collar. No matter how weird its attire, it was nothing compared to its physique. Its skin was flaming red and it had striking features. Instead of hair it had fins, the one in the middle of its head standing up like a Mohawk.

Vigorously shaking his head, Andy tried to return to the present. Only then, he noticed that the argument was about to get rough and he got up to intervene.

“Hey!” he called out. “Easy, mates. Maybe you should cal…”

“We’re not _mates_!” the unknown entity declared heatedly, turning to the constable. “This is none of your business, so get…” It paused, staring straight at Andy now, before it shouted angrily, “Oh! You!”

“Huh?”

Nobody could understand the stream of words that followed, which made the person even more mysterious. Transfixed, Andy still stared at the creature when it moved toward him and punched him in the gut. Andy stumbled backwards and slumped against the wall. Strong hands with webbed fingers took the collar of his jacket and yanked him to his feet. Still shouting in an unknown language, the thing dragged the stunned and confused constable along, out of the back door and into an alley.

“Your fault!” it screamed, slamming Andy into a brick wall. “The colony sucks! Why did ya have to do that? Tell me!”

Andy had no idea what the alien wanted from him, but he was pretty certain that this would not end well when it kicked at him, driving the air out of his lungs.

 

xXx

 

“He went into a pub,” Toshiko declared.

“Where?” Owen grunted.

“Turn right at the next crossing,” she said. “God, I hope it won’t pick a fight.”

“Yeah…” Jack was asleep at the wheel, finding it difficult to focus on the task at hand. Even knowing that he needed to be prepared for a rogue blowfish, he could not concentrate. His thoughts trailed back to Ianto. For once, it had nothing to do with his lustful daydreams, though. The young archivist had reminded him of the memorial service they were going to attend and that made him quite pensive. Images of his fights after the Cyberinvasion crossed his mind. So many people had died. So many lives had been turned upside down.

 _Ianto’s one of them. How is he coping? Is he coping?_ Jack blinked. _He’s so professional and suave that I can’t really tell. I think he’s talked with Tosh. There seems to blossom a friendship between them. I like that.They could be good for each other, and maybe the prospect of a little competition will finally make Owen take notice of Tosh.They deserve to have a life outside Torchwood. We’re so caught up in work that we hardly have peeks at what’s normal for other people. Have friends, a partner, a relationship…_

_If nothing else, Canary Wharf reminds us that life’s fragile. A single mistake can have monstrous consequences. We need to…_

“Jack!”

Toshiko’s shout finally startled him out of his musings.

“Jack, c’mon!” Owen prodded. “It’s over there.”

“Yeah, it’s still in the pub,” Toshiko confirmed. “Let’s get it before it causes trouble.”

“Right,” Jack muttered, refocusing. He was the first who alighted from the car and strode over to the pub’s entrance.

A small group of men just left when the team reached the pub, looking anxious. The Torchwood operatives shared knowing glances and proceeded inside. As it turned out, the blowfish did indeed cause trouble. Once they had deciphered the bartender’s frantic babbling, they went on to the back door. Jack not without slipping a pill into the man’s drink.

What they found in the alley behind the pub alarmed them.

The blowfish was towering over a human male. It held a knife that was so big that it almost passed as a sword. In response, team Torchwood drew their weapons.

“What do you want?” the man on the floor all but whined. “I don’t know you!”

“Freeze!” Jack yelled.

Instead of complying, the blowfish quickly bent down and grabbed the man’s arm, jerking him to his feet. The young male was struggling as the blowfish tried to get a better hold on him and put his knife across his neck.

“Drop your weapons!” the blowfish shouted back. “Or this man will die.”

On the periphery of his vision, Jack could see that the others hesitated.

“Put down your knife or you’ll be the one who dies,” the captain replied harshly.

The blowfish did not look like he believed his words. He tightened his hold on his captivewho still squirmed. When he turned his head, Jack recognized him as the stubborn young male who had braved him at the public pool in Splott.

“Oh, I see,” the captain drawled, “the colony’s not to your liking.”

“Bloody right!” the blowfish spat. “Drop your guns!”

Right then, Jack met the widened eyes of the human in the fish’s hold and recognized Constable Davidson.

_Oh, shit!_

“Jack,” Toshiko whispered from beside him. “We gotta help Andy…”

“Kid, I’m counting to five,” Jack told the blowfish sternly. “You don’t release him, I’ll shoot.”

“Jack,” Toshiko gasped.

“You should listen to the female,” the blowfish snarled.

“Yeah, listen to Tosh,” Andy croaked past the arm that choked him.

“Shut up,” Jack barked. “One.”

“Jack,” Owen mingled in. “I think, Tosh’s right.”

“Two,” Jack went on unperturbed.

The blowfish shifted his weight from one foot to the other, the only sign of his nervousness.

“Three,” Jack counted, adjusting the Webley that lay reliably in his hand.

“Oh, God,” Andy whimpered.

“Jack…”

A warning that Jack did not need, as his trained eye spotted the minuscule changes in the blowfish’s features a second before he drew back his webbed hand to stab the constable. Instead of counting four, Jack squeezed the trigger and his Webley spat fire.

A wordless scream tore off Andy’s lips as the knife hovered over him, ready to pierce his flesh. The blowfish did not move for what seemed like forever. Then its weight pulled the constable down with him.

Still screaming, Andy frantically tried to wriggle out of the dead alien’s hold.

“Jack,” Owen grunted, “was that really necessary.”

“You think I should’ve let him stab the constable?” the captain challenged, starting toward the fallen. “I hate shooting people, but he didn’t leave me any choice.”

“It must’ve still been confused,” Toshiko threw in. “It just arrived here, right?”

“Culture shock is a reason, not an excuse,” Jack growled, but did not relent. “About a week should be enough to acclimate.” Taking the constable’s arm, he pulled him to his feet and commanded, “Stop crying and tell me if you’re injured.”

Stunned, Andy looked around at the captain. First, he seemed confused, but then recognition lit up in his eyes.

“I know you!” he gasped, having an epiphany. “You’re Torchwood! Oh, my God! We’ve hunted aliens together!” Reaching up to brush his hand over his short hair, he howled, “That’s how I lost my hair! It was one of your things! And that… that… fish, it said that it knew me and I couldn’t remember, but now I do! We were in Splott at the swimming pool! They laid their eggs into the pool and he had a gun! You should’ve shot him the first time!” he frayed. “These blowfishes are loose cannons! You shouldn’t send them to colonies, you should put them behind bars if you can’t send them back to where they come from! Earth is not the waste dump for the scum of the universe!”

Jack sighed. It was pretty obvious that the constable overcame the retcon.

“All of them?” he calmly asked. Seeing that his team just stood and watched, he gestured at Owen to get to work, covering up the whole mess.

“Yes, all of them,” Andy replied steadfastly.

“You would lock everyone up who’s male and might start a fight at a pub then?” Jack asked.

Andy opened his mouth to answer but snapped it shut again.

“Didn’t think so,” Jack stated. “Blowfish are sentient beings, forming a society not that much unlike ours. You should treat them accordingly.”

“Well, yeah…” Andy muttered. “What happens now?”

“We’ll cover it up,” Jack shrugged.

“I mean, with me,” Andy elaborated. “Whatever you did to me… will you do it again?”

Jack did not bow to the challenge… he evaded it.

“Owen, Suzie,” he prodded, “we don’t have forever.”

“We know,” Owen grunted. “Tosh! Was there any sign of the blowfish having company?”

“If there was, I would’ve told you _before_ we followed him,” she chided. Furtively, she looked at Jack and the constable beside him, whose adrenalin rush seemed to ebb away now, making room for anxiety and insecurity. Kneading his hands, he shifted his position every now and then, obviously uncertain about what to do with himself.

“Tosh!” Owen urged. “How about you helping, huh?”

“Yeah, right,” she muttered. “Give me the keys. I’ll get the car.”

“I’ll get the car. Help Suzie.”

While his team was busy with the blowfish’s remains, Jack examined the area with his wrist device. There was no trace of Rift activity anywhere near their position and he found no sign of other aliens either. He had blocked the door to the pub on their way out, so nobody could follow them. Nobody came into the alley from the streets either. For now, they were safe.

“Jack?” Andy tentatively started when nothing happened. “Seriously… what are you going to do to me?”

“Why should I do anything to you?” Jack asked back, his attention still being with the team’s cleanup.

“You drugged me to take my memory,” the constable stated with a touch of accusation lacing his voice. “Isn’t it logical to assume that you’ll poison me again?”

“Oh, c’mon!” Jack groaned, just giving the constable a cursory glance. “I didn’t poison you. It’s just an amnesia pill.”

“I call it poisoning!” Andy frayed.

“Don’t be so melodramatic,” the captain scolded without looking at him.

“I’m not,” Andy grumbled. “Now, will you answer my question?”

“I won’t do anything to you, Andy,” Jack said, finally turning to face him. “The question is, though, what I’m going to do _with_ you.”

“Like what?”

“Like… well, first you’re gonna sign the Official Secrets Act,” Jack declared. “Don’t want you to blab about Torchwood.”

“I won’t,” Andy assured him.

“Good.”

For a moment, they both watched the others work, loading the blowfish’s body into the back of the black SUV.

“Maybe you could be like… well, a liaison,” Jack mused aloud.

Andy looked up at the captain whose gaze was still fixed on his team.

“Liaise with who?”

“With the police,” Jack chuckled. “Occasionally our cases cross jurisdiction after all.”

“Occasionally…” Andy smirked and earned a deep scowl in response. “Fine. I’m looking forward to it.”

“It’s settled then,” Jack nodded. “You’ll come with us to the Hub now, sign the documents.”

“Now?” Andy moaned. “Can’t we do that tomorrow?”

“We’ll be busy tomorrow.”

“Is another Armageddon scheduled?” Andy prodded.

Once more, Jack’s features darkened.

“No… we’re just going to be busy. Now come.”

Resigning himself to his fate, Andy followed Jack to the car. As they all climbed in, Jack declared, “When we’re back at the Hub, you can go home. I can dispose of the blowfish myself and we’ll meet early tomorrow morning for the drive to London.”

“I promised Ianto to look at the documents he prepared,” Toshiko threw in. “I can help you first.”

Her comment reminded Jack of the assigned tasks. “Suzie, you should join in,” he said, “and go over what you’ve set up as well.”

“Is that really necessary?” she growled.

“Just for proper co-ordination,” Jack told her firmly. “Can’t take long if everyone was thorough.”

“Which I was,” she muttered and sank back into her seat, crossing her arms over her chest.

Once more, Jack had to wonder about her unwillingness. Whenever Ianto was involved, she became stubborn. He would have to dig deeper on that subject. If Ianto was willing to stay with the team, Jack wanted him to be welcomed rather than greeted with hostility.

 

tbc…


	25. Mitigating circumstances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos!

Ianto woke screaming, his throat hurting as his voice broke on the highest pitches. His covers were soaked with sweat and his body shivering violently. Feeling sick, he stumbled out of bed and to the small bathroom, hardly making it in time before dinner forced its way back out. Coughing violently, he cowered beside the toilet when he heard a knock on the door. First it was tentative, but as his own breathing gradually calmed, the knocking became more insistent at the lack of response.

“Ianto?”

_Mrs. Dillard!_

Ianto groaned, but she sounded so anxious that he awkwardly pushed himself up and somehow made it to the door of his bedsit. Opening it just a crack, he peeked out and all but squeaked, “Sorry for the disturbance.”

“Nonsense!” she shot back with alarm. “Are you all right, son?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” Ianto lied in an attempt to assure her. “Just a bad dream.”

“That must have been a pretty bad nightmare, love,” she replied, not being reassured at all and trying to squeeze forward. “Is there something I can do for you?”

Ianto did not know if he should throttle her or break down in her motherly embrace.

“No, Mrs. Dillard, but thanks for offering. Good night.”

Before he could change his mind, he pushed the door shut. Right now, he did not have it in him to be polite. Leaning his back against the wood, he slid to the floor. There he sat, a breath hitching in his chest, and before he knew it, tears rolled down his pale cheeks. For a moment, he dissolved in sobs before a frantic rustling caught his attention.

“Oh, kids!” he muttered wetly and crawled over to the cage, “did I scare you?”

The spidermice gathered behind the bars, scrambling over another in their eagerness to get to him, and struggling to nuzzle his fingers when he reached out to lightly pet them through the bars. They seemed to be really excited, but Ianto did not want to let them out for fear that he would not be able to lure them back into the cage again. So he just lay there beside them and let them tickle his fingertips with snouts and fur.

Tears freely ran down his cheeks.

Unable to stop them, Ianto forced himself to his feet and dragged himself to the bathroom. Splashing water in his face did not help and at the sight of the messy toilet he choked again. Backwards he stumbled out of the bathroom.

 _Clean that mess,_ a voice in the back of his mind demanded.

Despite the sour smell, Ianto quickly wiped away the worst with toilet paper and flushed. More thoroughly, he washed his hands and brushed his teeth to get rid of the awful taste in his mouth.

As soon as he had finished his task and nothing to keep himself occupied with, his misery returned with a vengeance. Becoming unsteady again, he stumbled to the bed, dropping heavily onto the mattress.

Tears still clouded his vision and he closed his eyes. At once horror scenarios engulfed him. Death screams echoed through the corridors, sparks flew, and heat seared his skin. Agony coursed through his body when a metal hand clamped down on his shoulder, sending electricity through every fibre.

Saucer-eyed he stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily. Panic still tried to get a hold on him and he shivered again.

Only slowly, his heartbeat slowed again. As soon as he closed his eyes, though, the horrific pictures returned. A cone-shaped alien glided toward him, its energy beam hitting him squarely in the chest.

Once more, he started awake, gasping for breath.

Ianto stood and paced his bedsit. He contemplated making himself a hot drink, but all he had was coffee, which would be rather counterproductive. After a few minutes of pacing, he decided to give sleep another try.

First, it seemed to work, but then he ran. Leaving one corridor, he turned into another. One as endless as the other. Running. Running! Metal voices chasing him along. Fire burning all around him. Running! Dead end. Running! Staircase. Up? Down? Downstairs. Running. Running! Cybermen! Upstairs. Daleks! Door. Corridor. Screams. Smells. Noises. Cybermen. Running. Running! Running! Running! Running!

A strangled cry escaped his lips as he shot up straight in bed. Heavy gasps achieved nothing but hurt his chest. Falling out of bed, Ianto reached for his mobile and dialled the first number that came to his mind.

Only when it rang steadily and finally went to voice mail, he realized what he had done. Hearing Lisa’s voice upset him once again and barely suppressed cries tore off his lips.

Choosing another contact, he dialled Owen’s mobile that went to mailbox as well.

_Shit!_

Cowering in a corner on the floor, he held the phone with trembling fingers.

_Call Rhi?_

What should he tell her? Aside from being estranged, he could not talk to her about anything Torchwood.

_Jack?_

No, he could not bother their boss with his heartache. Chances were he was not there anyway and he would be damned if he kept him from investigating an alert, or, even worse, interrupted more private activities.

_Tosh!_

With difficulty, he brought up her number and dialled. After a few rings, she tiredly answered. Ianto could not form a coherent thought, let alone speak a whole sentence.

“Tosh…” he moaned and dissolved in tears.

“Ianto! What’s wrong?” she asked, suddenly alert. Hearing the distress in his voice, she feared the worst. When all his attempts at answering her ended in sobs, she commanded, “Stay on the phone! I’ll be there in ten. Don’t hang up!”

All he could do was sob.

“Stay on the phone!” she commanded. “I’ll be right there.”

Even feeling a surge of gratitude, Ianto could not force himself to answer. He heard some rustling through the phone as she pulled on some clothes, then a door slammed.

“Ianto? Are you there?”

Ianto groaned.

“I’m on my way,” she assured him. “Stay with me, love.”

He could hear the patter of her shoes on the stairs.

“Talk to me, Ianto.”

“C-c-cant,” he stuttered.

“I’m here,” she assured, dropping into the driver’s seat. “Just hang in there, all right?”

Toshiko actually made it over to Ianto’s in eight minutes. When he let her in, he did not bother how many traffic rules she had violated to get to him. As soon as she stepped over his threshold he clung to her desperately, crying out his heartache.

 

xXx

 

When Ianto slowly returned to his senses, he lay in bed and had no recollection of how he got there. The last thing he remembered was calling Toshiko. Gentle fingertips brushing a strand of hair off his forehead startled him.

“Shhh...”

Who did the soothing voice belong to? Opening his eyes answered his question and made him start.

“Tosh!”

“Shhh, Ianto,” she murmured. “It’s all right, love. Relax.”

“What did we do?” he croaked.

Confused she quirked an eyebrow before she caught on and gave him a crooked smile.

“Nothing inappropriate,” she promised and could not help a chuckle when he blushed. “You needed rest. I just stayed with you to help you relax.”

“Oh.” A faint blush coloured his cheeks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to say... I mean, how could I think for just a second...?”

At that Toshiko became earnest again.

“Maybe because you wouldn’t be too wrong,” she murmured sadly, lowering her gaze.

All of a sudden, she appeared fragile, younger and more vulnerable. Ianto felt her loneliness and yearned to comfort her. With Torchwood you led a hidden life and Toshiko had not even her family to fall back on and find support. Then there was her unrequited love for Owen.

Carefully, he reached out to touch her cheek.

When she leaned into his caress, he was not quite sure what to do, but what happened next came naturally enough. After a moment, he let his fingers slide into her hair and cradle the back of her head so he could pull her toward him. The first time their lips met, it was a feather light touch, each of them testing, tasting, wanting to be sure the other was willing.

Their tentative kisses became more demanding until Ianto drew back with a start.

“What’s the matter?” Toshiko murmured.

“What the hell are we doing?”

Never before had she heard the polite young man swear, which stunned her so much that all she could do was stare.

“We’re seeking comfort,” she finally replied. “Why? Does it feel wrong?”

Ianto nodded. “No.”

A small chuckle escaped her at that.

“You’re contradicting yourself,” she explained when she saw his confused expression.

“Oh?”

Still chuckling, she propped herself up on her elbow. Even though he still seemed uncertain, Ianto kept toying with her hair, twirling the strands around his fingers.

“Do you want to talk about Lisa?” Toshiko gently offered.

A pained expression crossed his features.

“Not sure.”

“Okay,” Toshiko relented and stretched back out beside him. “When you are, I will listen.”

Surprised, she let it happen when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Lying snuggled up against him now, she leaned her head in the crook of his neck. Absently, he caressed her bare shoulder. A few minutes of silence passed that Ianto broke with a hoarse whisper.

“Tomorrow… makes it so… real.”

He fell silent again, but Toshiko could feel how tense he was, so she prodded, “In which way?”

“Her death,” he tonelessly answered. “It did not feel real before. I… didn’t have nightmares before…” He paused and Toshiko waited patiently. “And that feels wrong. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yes.”

“I think it never hit home until now. Right after Jack got me out of that ruddy conversion unit I had a task to concentrate on, decisions to make, and work to do. I never even spared her a thought.” With every word he became more agitated. “I didn’t think of all the others either. I never mourned! What’s wrong with me? I’m not that cold!”

“Sh…” Toshiko soothed, calmingly caressing his forehead. “Don’t beat yourself up like this.”

“But…”

“Hush,” she stopped him with a finger over his lips. “That’s not true.”

Incredulously, he stared at her out of eyes that seemed impossibly wide and deep with emotion.

“I know it, Ianto,” she softly assured him. “I was there. Remember? At your flat, before we drove to Cardiff.”

“Oh.”

Ianto had totally forgotten about that. Now that she reminded him the memories returned in a flood, and fresh tears burnt in his eyes.

“Still, I forgot,” he moaned. “But I can’t forget! Someone needs to remember them!”

“You won’t,” Toshiko murmured compassionately.

“I did!” he whined, desperate. “During the last week I sorted files, cleaned up after my colleagues, sent thylacines to Tasmania, fought alien whirlwinds, but I never thought about Lisa! Or Virginia! Or anyone else who died at Canary Wharf! Instead I enjoyed the work and the banter and…”

“Ianto,” Toshiko interrupted his more and more frantic speech. “I’m sure that’s not true. When you take a moment to think about it you’ll notice that there were moments when you did remember. You did not forget and you never will.”

“It hurts,” he sobbed. “I feel so… guilty.”

There it was.

Toshiko did not need to reply anything. She could see how his understanding grew as he formed the sentence.

Survivor’s guilt.

“Oh, Tosh,” he cried. “I was so angry with her. We argued so much recently. Most of it was about work, but it disclosed differences between us that we had to deal with. We were going to get married after all. I’m not saying that we should have separated, but we needed to sort out those issues. And then… then came the ghosts and the Cybermen and…”

Unable to talk past the lump in his throat, Ianto trailed off and swallowed dryly. Tears started to roll and he went on with difficulty.

“Even hiding from the Cybermen we fought. Dr. Markham gave me some documents, telling me to go to Captain Harkness. She said I should leave it, that it was none of our business. She still believed in the Institute.” Pausing, he took a deep breath. “In her opinion it was not worth the effort. We were what mattered. We should think of ourselves and get out of the tower. Yet when we were caught and led to the conversion units…” Once more, he could not speak with emotion and had to fight to continue, “she stepped in when they wanted to take me. It was all futile, still, going first, she sacrificed herself in order to buy me more time… for the slightest chance that I could survive.”

“Oh, Ianto, I’m sorry,” Toshiko whispered close to his ear. Lying beside him, she listened patiently, caught between fascination and compassion, and ruffled his hair soothingly with one hand while she caressed his shoulder with the other.

For a while, they just lay together, giving each other comfort.

“I don’t know what happened elsewhere,” Ianto suddenly said, “but I’m pretty sure that Lisa was not the only one. So many were killed by the Cybermen and yet there must have been people who stood up to them, tried to defend themselves, their colleagues, and our world. Brave men and women who deserve to be honoured for what they gave up… and yet we’re not allowed to do it. We can’t ever talk about their sacrifice, not even at the memorial service.”

Realizing the truth of his words, Toshiko did not know what to say. She knew that family members of One’s employees would be there. They could not reveal the true nature of the Institute to them. That would mean breaking their confidentiality agreement. Toshiko had no desire to see that UNIT cell ever again.

“How are we supposed to honour our dead when we can’t talk about how they died?” Ianto hoarsely asked.

That was a good question, but Toshiko had no idea how to answer it.

“I miss her so much!” Ianto sobbed, burying his face against her shoulder. “I miss her!”

“I know,” Toshiko mumbled against her own tears.

“There’s that big hole inside me,” Ianto sobbed. “I want her back.”

“I know, love,” she tried to reassure him. Unable to find any words that could relieve his sorrow, she continued to caress him. She really wished she could offer him solace and when she noticed that he responded to her touch, she softly kissed his cheek. Ianto took a long shuddering breath and calmed a little, which encouraged her to repeat her action.

As Ianto turned his head, though, their lips met, and this time they were electrified.

 _Not a good idea,_ Toshiko thought.

The younger man just wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight and kissing her fiercely. At first, she harboured doubts about the wisdom of their intimacy, but with every kiss, they melted further away until she caved and surrendered herself to the Welshman.

 

xXx

 

When Suzie’s screams echoed through his apartment, Owen smirked devilishly. Next time he met his neighbour from below, she would look at him disdainfully again, for the disturbance in the wee small hours as well as the origin of the noises. Owen could not care less. Only fleetingly, he wondered if anyone might be watching from below, which added to his arousal and made him shove her into the panorama window with another thrust.

“Oweeeeeen!” she screamed with pleasure, scratching his back.

Rocking against the glass, they reached the peaks of their lust. Swaying backwards, Owen took his lover with him and they landed on his bed.

“Whoa!” Suzie gasped. “Wow.”

Below her, Owen chuckled with contentment.

“Feeling better now?” he asked as she settled beside him and pulled the sheets up.

“Yeah…” she drawled and snuggled up to him.

For a few minutes, they lay entangled, lazily caressing each other.

Even though she had claimed to feel better now, Owen sensed that her earlier tension slowly returned. Something was still bothering her and he sleepily asked, “Care to tell me what’s on your mind?”

“You don’t really want to know, do you?” she grunted.

“Still tell me,” he prodded. “Doctor’s orders. You’ll feel better.”

Snorting wry laughter, she shifted her position beside him.

“I’m mad at Jack.”

“Why?”

Suzie groaned. “Isn’t that obvious?”

“You really still annoyed that he hired Ianto?” Owen asked with disbelief.

“Hired?” she scoffed. “He didn’t _hire_ him. He’s kinda kidnapped him and stuffed him into the archives to keep as his pet.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on the captain now?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Suzie stated and propped herself up on her elbow. “You know Jack. Our boss is too besotted with his archivist to think clearly. Otherwise he’d cut him loose.”

Feeling strangely intimidated by his lover leaning over him now, her black curls tickling his chest and her dark eyes burning with passion, Owen scooted back a little and sat up against the head of the bed.

“You’ve known Jack even longer than I have,” Owen told her matter-of-factly. “So I don’t know what you’re complaining about.” Curiously, he saw her features darken even more. “Or are you jealous?”

Stunned beyond belief, he saw her roll her eyes before she made an annoyed sound from deep down her throat and dropped into the pillows. It was as good as a confession and Owen wondered how he should tickle it out of her.

“I am _not_ jealous,” she snarled.

 _Of course not,_ Owen thought. Aloud he said, “So you’re upset because Ianto was right?”

“About what?” Suzie huffed.

“Because I really can’t imagine that Ianto doing the preparations for the memorial service is what’s bothering you. You’d much rather tinker around with your alien toys.”

“Right about what?” Suzie insisted.

“I have to admit that I’m fascinated by the possibilities the glove might offer,” Owen explained, “but Ianto was right to raise those ethical questions.”

“It’s not that he tried to hold a mirror to me,” Suzie snapped. “It’s the fact that he has no reason being at Three at all.”

“Oh, don’t get started on that again,” Owen groaned, pushing the covers back and turning to swing his legs around and sit on the edge of the bed. “I thought we were beyond that point.”

“Come back,” Suzie moaned.

“No!”

Owen stood and padded over to the sofa. Now he was the one who was annoyed. His aggravation came from his split loyalties. Suzie was a good colleague and his current lover. He knew her as a reliable Torchwood agent and trusted her with his life. Caring for Ianto during the long hours that the younger man had been trapped in the conversion unit, Owen had learned that he was intelligent and witty, and while they searched the Secure Archives, Ianto proved to be just as dependable.

“Why are _you_ angry now?” Suzie demanded to know.

“Because I can’t hear it anymore,” Owen told her flatly. “You keep saying that you view Ianto as a risk, but you have nothing to prove your statement!”

“Right,” she huffed. “I know you like him. That’s why you can’t see how he’s manipulating us.”

“What?” Incredulously, Owen shook his head.

“Really, Owen. Did he hesitate when Jack asked him to come to Cardiff? No, he didn’t. He came with us when we returned from London. Not a day or two later. No, Jack couldn’t wait, and he used that. Jack wouldn’t have allowed any of us to use any of One’s software or technology.”

“Ianto needed that for the archiving,” Owen threw in. “And you know how desperately we’re in need of proper archiving.”

“But he’s not stopping at that!” Suzie argued, finally scooting over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Right,” Owen sarcastically said, “but organizing the tigers’ transport and writing a speech for the memorial service hardly threaten your position.”

“He’s undermining my authority!” Suzie frayed. “Don’t you see how he’s influencing Jack?”

Vigorously, Owen shook his head.

“What I did see was how he took your place in the field when you were too busy sulking and saved our asses, figuring out how to defeat those whirlwinds.”

At that, Suzie actually looked offended.

“I see,” she drawled. “Now it’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not,” Owen shot back. “But it isn’t Ianto’s either.”

Shaking her head, Suzie reached for her clothes and began to dress herself.

“I see that arguing is futile. You don’t want to see because you like him.”

Glowering at her, Owen snarled, “All I see is your wild imagination.”

Nodding decisively, she pulled on her boots and got up.

“I guess I should go.”

“You probably should.”

“Fine,” she huffed and strode to the door.

She did not look back and Owen winced when the door smashed into its frame. Their argument left him confused. He could not understand why she doubted Ianto. The young man had done nothing but help. The only reason Owen could see was that she felt indeed threatened by him.

_She’ll come back to her senses. Ianto won’t stay with us forever. Despite what Jack likes to believe he will leave. I seriously doubt that our captain has anything to offer that can change his mind about it. When the time comes, Suzie will realize that she worried in vain._

With a sigh, Owen poured himself a drink that he downed with two big gulps. The alcohol failed to work, though. It could not chase away the gloomy feeling that threatened to take a hold on the doctor. Suzie was gone, leaving an empty bed behind.

 _Time to call it a night,_ Owen thought as he crawled under the sheets. _Tomorrow will be a long day._

 

tbc…

 


	26. A study in empathy

Despite having spent half of the night talking, Ianto was the first one in the next morning. Favouring Jack with only a nod, he strode straight to the stairs that led up to the gantry, where he set about making coffee.

Toshiko came in next. Looking down at where she settled at her workstation to check on a program she had left running over night filled Ianto with anxiety. It confused him because he did not find the situation to be so awkward. Filling three mugs with the first fresh brew, Ianto went down to the work area.

“Thank you, Ianto,” Toshiko said, offering him a shy smile as she accepted the coffee.

“Thank you as well,” he murmured and was overwhelmed by a sense of embarrassment. Ianto found it hard to keep his hands steady and he had to take a deep, calming breath. Still he felt the need to express himself, so he continued,“I don’t know what got into me last night. I just felt so… bereft. I’m grateful for your kindness. I don’t know how I would have made it through last night alone. I… I realize you were just trying to comfort me and… that you don’t really think of me that way, but I’m glad it was you who was there for me.”

There he had to stop. Instead of releasing the tension, it seemed to make things worse. At least Toshiko was looking at him out of wide, dark eyes and an expression that bordered on panic. Suddenly, she averted her eyes and hid behind her coffee mug.

“Ah, fresh coffee!” Jack cheered as he stepped up beside Ianto. Grinning broadly he teased, “Can I safely assume that one of these two is for me?”

“Yes, sir,” Ianto confirmed, holding the mug out for the captain. He did not think that their boss had overheard their conversation, but he became equally embarrassed as he clearly felt jealousy pass through him. Strangely, it was not his own. Ianto could only presume that it was the captain’s and he struggled with getting rid of the emotion.

_How’s that happening? Usually I need to consciously reach out to sense anything from others._

Confused, Ianto slowly went to the sofa opposite the workstations and sat down. He could feel Jack’s gaze on him and hear Toshiko type. Grabbing a magazine from the chest-table, he used it to hide.

Which did not quite work with Jack. The captain leaned against Owen’s desk now and watched Ianto. Of course, he knew why the younger man pretended to be immersed in his reading, but he sensed that something was wrong and was determined to find out what it was.

 _Not that Tosh and Ianto spent the night together,_ Jack thought with another surge of jealousy. _It’s something else. I can feel it. I need to keep an eye on him._

“The others are late, again” Jack sighed and took another sip of his coffee. “This really is addictive, Ianto,” he praised as he pushed himself off the workstation. “Do you have enough to take a thermos or two with us?”

“Sure,” Ianto nodded with a tentative, professional smile that instantly made Jack fall back to his flirting.

“Oh, my gorgeous Welshman, you’re magnificent.”

His intention was to lighten the mood, but his comment had the opposite effect. All of a sudden, Ianto’s smile fell from his face and he turned an ugly shade of grey. At least that was what Jack thought he saw just before the young man darted to the tunnel in pursuit of the locker rooms.

“What did I do wrong?” Jack blurted out, ready to follow him. A gentle hand on his arm stopped him. Confused, he looked around to Toshiko. “Shouldn’t I have said gorgeous?”

“I think you shouldn’t have said Welshman,” she softly replied.

If anything, Jack looked even more puzzled. The question _why_ burned inside of him, but he sensed that he would not get an answer from his computer expert. The strongest hint he got was the wave of grief and pain just before Ianto ran away. It had to have to do with Lisa somehow.

“You were with him last night, right?” he finally asked and was surprised to see her flush crimson. “I didn’t mean to insinuate anything,” Jack rushed to say. Actually, he did not have to. The moment Ianto had entered the Hub, he knew that he had been sexually active over night and when Toshiko came in, he had a pretty good picture in mind. His only regret was that it could not be him who was there for Ianto. With a heavy heart, he carefully prodded, “Just tell me if he talked to you.”

“Yes,” she simply said.

“Good,” Jack nodded.

Toshiko eyed him curiously. The captain clearly was not as content as he pretended to appear.

“Are _you_ okay, Jack?”

“Yeah…” he drawled and was glad when the proximity alert blared and the cog door rolled open to let Suzie and Owen in. He used the opportunity to escape to his office.

 

xXx

 

Silence reigned inside the black SUV that rolled along the M4 to London. Neither of the two men felt compelled to break it. While Ianto just stared ahead and tried to make sense of his emotions, Jack had to concentrate on the traffic.

What disturbed Ianto deeply was that he could feel the jealousy and disappointment roll off Jack in waves… without having to concentrate on it. On the contrary, he could not manage to shield himself against it. Beginning to worry earnestly, he tried to recall what he had been taught at Torchwood One about psychic shielding, but no matter how hard he tried, it still did not work.

Aside from being troubled about the empathic intrusion, Ianto was irritated about the fact that Jack _was_ jealous and disappointed. So far, he had thought that all of the flirtatious posturing originated from the captain’s irrepressible libido. To him it always appeared like an act that Jack put on because everyone expected such behaviour from him. Only when Ydris talked to him about Jack, did he realize that he had misjudged the older man’s intentions.

_What’s his motivation?_

Ianto was not sure of it and even though he had enjoyed the game, Ianto now wondered if it had been wise when he played along.

_If Jack’s interest really goes beyond a date, and I don’t mean a friendly shag either, it’s wrong to encourage him. I can’t think about anything serious. Not after…_

At that, his thought process faltered. Images of Lisa flashed before his inner eye and a dizzying agitation filled him. Closing his eyes, he fought the scarily real feeling of being pursued. Or was he the pursuer? He could not tell. His head throbbed, though, and he leaned it against the cool window.

“Ianto?” Jack carefully asked. “Is everything okay?” He glanced at the younger man who looked a bit green around the gills. “Shall I stop?”

“No,” Ianto moaned. “I’m fine. Just leave me be for a bit, all right?”

“Sure,” Jack agreed with a hint of regret. Knowing what troubled the younger man, he wanted nothing but help, which he could not do if Ianto did not let him in. Perforce, he kept driving until they reached the street where Lisa and Ianto had shared an apartment.

Patiently, Jack waited for Ianto who was so distracted that he did not even notice that they had arrived. As far as Jack was concerned, he could have waited forever if they were not on a schedule. Taking a deep breath, he asked Ianto if he still wanted to go to the flat. Startled, Ianto almost frantically scrambled out of the car.

When Jack followed Ianto inside, he could feel the younger man’s stress level shoot up. He was pretty certain that Ianto’s heart was hammering against his ribs when he unlocked the door to let them in. While the Welshman purposefully strode to open the windows, the captain lingered at the open entrance, which took Ianto a couple of minutes to notice.

“What are you waiting for?”

“You didn’t invite me in,” Jack shrugged with a sheepish smile.

Dramatically, Ianto rolled his eyes at how ridiculous that seemed. “You actually need an invitation?”

 _For more than just entering your flat,_ Jack thought as he stepped over the threshold and closed the door. _But it’s a start._ Carefully, he used his mental talent to reach out for Ianto and bounced back from the amount of anxiety that filled him. Seeing how forlorn he stood right in the middle of the living room, Jack longed to go to him and offer him the best comfort he knew. After last night’s events, though, he was less than certain that he would be welcome.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Jack softly asked.

Still he startled Ianto with his request. The young man’s head whipped around and he stared at Jack as if he was stunned by not being alone.

“You could stay here,” Jack offered. “I could pick you up on…”

“No!” Ianto vigorously cut him short. “No, I need to do that.”

Jack nodded his consent. “All right.”

Furtively, Jack glanced at his wrist strap. They still had about an hour to get to Canary Wharf in time, but had to go through half of London. Despite feeling the pressure, Jack refrained from forwarding it to Ianto.

“I’ll have to cancel the rental agreement,” the Welshman murmured to himself. “I can’t afford it on my own.”

“You don’t need to decide that now,” Jack said, forming a plan in his mind, “while you’re…”

“Don’t!” Ianto barked, taking the captain totally by surprise. “It’s _my_ responsibility, not yours!”

“I didn’t say…” Jack started only to be interrupted again.

“I don’t need your money!” Ianto frayed. At the same time, he neither knew where his knowledge came from nor how to deal with it. “Or your pity! Or whatever else you intend to give to me!”

Jack on the other hand realized that Ianto’s helpless agitation rose by the second. In vain, he tried to make contact. The young man simply was too wound up to allow his approach. His untrained mind ricocheted off Ianto’s like a bullet from a spinning tire.

“Ianto,” he softly murmured, trying to calm him. “Please, listen to me.”

“No!” Ianto shouted. “You listen! I don’t know what you think happened last night, but it’s none of your business! Stay out of my life, okay?”

At that, Jack looked crestfallen. It hurt. His insides constricted with a pain that he recognized instantly. He wanted to deny it, but with every moment he spent longer with Ianto, his feelings grew. By now, he was beyond the point where he could simply shake them off.

It was that pain that finally managed to connect with Ianto.

“Jack?” he asked, insecure. All of a sudden, he looked like a little, frightened boy. Unable to process the emotions that flooded him, he defended his actions,“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Jack. It’s just… I don’t know how to explain. I’m so raw…” he paused, trying to brace himself for the eruption that he was sure would come when he told Jack the truth, “I called Tosh because on some level I knew what might happen and I didn’t want it to be you.”

Having expected outrage, Ianto was caught on the wrong foot when he saw Jack’s features crunch up to a mask of pain. With horror, hefelt flooded with distress and realized that Jack took him wrong once more. Sounding somewhat desperate, he tried to save it, “It’s… Jack, I didn’t want to base whatever might be on comfort sex.”

Even though Jack knew what happened, he suddenly found himself incapable of helping because his own emotions ran amok.

“I didn’t reject _you_ , Jack,” Ianto did his best to explain. “I refused to be put in a horribly awkward situation. I…” The words caught in his throat as he realized right at that moment that they were true, “I want you... but not like that.”

“Oh.”

Helplessly, all Jack could do was open his arms invitingly, and as Ianto could not sense any hint of dishonesty, he readily stepped into Jack’s embrace.

“I just want to help,” Jack murmured into Ianto’s hair. “Please, let me.”

Wrapping his arms around the captain’s form beneath the greatcoat, Ianto swallowed a lump of dread.

“I’m scared, Jack,” he whispered.

“I know,” the captain soothed, holding the young man close. “What you’re experiencing can be terrifying. I can guide you if you allow it.”

Tightening his hold, Ianto leaned his head against the other man’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I think that I just need time to deal with my grief.”

_Grief?_

That was not exactly what Jack meant.

“But I can do it,” Ianto went on before Jack could voice his concerns. “I _have_ to do it. Do you understand?”

“Of course,” Jack agreed.

“Just… hold me for a minute longer,” Ianto tentatively said. “Okay?”

_Anything you want, love._

 

xXx

 

Arriving at Canary Wharf, Jack was greeted by a young woman as soon as he parked the Torchwood SUV. She asked him and Ianto to follow her and led the two men to a mobile command centre. As the Welshman climbed up the steps to the truck’s loading space, he looked around at what was built up on the plaza in front of the entrances to the tube. A marquee sheltered the guests from the drizzling rain. There were two more tents, probably one for the catering and another for staff or something.

Ianto was grateful that he did not have to enter the tower. Aside from UNIT still working inside, he did not think that he would be able to set foot in the building. It was bad enough to be at Canary Wharf again as it was.

“Jack! Ianto!”

“Alistair!” Jack returned the greeting. “It’s good to see you.” Carefully, he glanced at Ianto who still lingered at the entrance. Sensing that he had better give him some space, he turned to address the woman who was with the Brigadier, “Who’s the beauty at your side?”

“Sarah Jane Smith,” the brunette woman introduced herself.

“Oh, marvellous!” Jack cheered, taking her offered hand and blowing a kiss on it. “Sarah Jane, the stuff of legend.”

“Oh, really?” she pushed with a challenging smile. “You probably mean the stuff of nightmares.”

“What I heard was only the best, my love, only the best,” Jack replied with a wink, “We’re all part of a very exclusive club after all.” Sensing his presence beside him, he added, “Ianto, meet the famous Sarah Jane Smith.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” the Welshman greeted cordially. He felt somewhat in awe of the woman, knowing the others were referring to the Doctor. She had to be a former companion.

“Ma’am?” she chuckled. “Please, just call me Sarah Jane.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ianto automatically replied, which made Jack laugh.

“Don’t worry, Sarah Jane,” he assured her, “I couldn’t make him stop calling me _sir_ either.”

“Politeness is not to be laughed at,” Ianto hissed in the captain’s direction.

“No, it isn’t,” the brigadier cut in. “Jack told me that you are going to contribute in the service, is that right?”

Ianto was glad for the brigadier’s change of subject.

“Yes, sir,” he nodded and felt his mouth go dry. _At least that’s my intention._

Right now, he was not so certain anymore about his ability to step up in front of his colleagues and their friends and families. Actually, he was not sure about anything anymore. Anxiety did not appropriately describe what he felt. In addition, he got a headache.

“Are you all right?” Jack asked.

“Huh?”

“You seem so distracted,” the captain said. “Everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ianto lied. “Just thinking about the service and… being here…” he choked. “It’s like, I don’t know, like I wasn’t away at all.”

“I know what you mean,” Jack nodded and gently steered him to the open door so he could breathe some fresh air. “Do you need anything? A drink of water? Anything to soothe your nerves?”

“A cigarette,” Ianto chuckled humourlessly. “But I promised Lisa to quit, so… no, thanks.”

“You smoke?” Jack blurted out with shock. That did not seem like the young Welshman at all.

“Ummm, it was not quite a habit yet,” the young Welshman admitted. “Sometimes after dinner, before or after a test… I quit before it could become really addictive.”

At that Jack smirked.

“Right, better stick with your fantastic coffee.” With the idea his smirk grew even wider. “Talking about it, didn’t you say you took a thermos with you?”

Being reminded of his failure, Ianto’s features crunched up with remorse.

“Sorry, Jack. I forgot.” Tears burned in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I know I promised…”

“Shhh,” Jack soothed, putting one hand on Ianto’s shoulder. “Never mind. There’s something to look forward to then.”

Strangely, Jack’s compassionate smile put Ianto on edge.

“You know, you look like you sucked on a lemon?” Jack lightly teased.

“Got a headache.”

“Probably because you’re so tense,” Jack murmured, carefully prodding the younger man’s shoulder. “Come here.”

Gently, he pulled Ianto closer and rested both wrists lightly on his shoulders. With skilled fingers, he began to work the taut muscles in the back of his neck. At first, Ianto resisted, but when he caved to the captain, Jack felt him relax. He saw him close his eyes, which was a pity as he thought that Ianto had gorgeous eyes. He kept up the massage until his ministrations elicited a sound of contentment from deep within Ianto’s throat that Jack would have rather expected to hear in bed.

“Promising,” he chuckled. “Really promising.”

For a second, Ianto stared at Jack with open puzzlement until the penny dropped.

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

“Nope.” Jack grinned like the Cheshire cat.

“Why do you even expect anything better from him?” a new voice mingled in that belonged to Owen. “We were already searching for you. Are you coming?”

“Just a minute,” Jack replied and waited until Owen went away. Only then, he turned to Ianto, “Are you ready?”

“I think so,” Ianto nodded. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Jack assured him.

“Careful, sir,” Ianto tentatively warned, which put a smile on Jack’s face.

“All right, son,” the brigadier said as he stepped up beside the two men. “Let’s pay your people our respect.”

He and Sarah Jane accompanied Jack and Ianto to the entrance of the marquee from where they would get straight up onto the stage. As they approached, Ianto felt his anxiety rise again. Taking a deep breath, he tried to steady himself and get rid of the sensation of imminent danger.

_With all the UNIT soldiers present, what could happen? We’re at a memorial service. Yet anything can go wrong, aliens invade and kill everyone. It happened before and it can happen again. We have nothing to counter it. We’ll all die._

In his mind’s eye, he saw a long corridor with countless chambers and screams rang in his ears. He could feel the others’ agony. They were dying.

_Pull yourself together!_

Jack was beside him while Sarah Jane and the brigadier had taken place in the first row of chairs. Right next to them sat the three members of Torchwood Three. Toshiko looked compassionate and Owen absent, but the wave of hostility that he felt coming from Suzie took his breath away.

Ianto was vaguely aware that the captain was speaking to him and nodded in confirmation, even though he had no idea what Jack had said. When he followed him onto the stage, he felt like his legs weighed a ton. How he made it to the speaker’s desk, he did not know.

Part of him was aware that he took out the papers with his speech and spread the sheets on the desk. Another part of him experienced the whole scene as if through a thick fog. Sounds seemed strangely muffled while he could clearly hear the squealing voice of a Dalek shriek, “Exterminate!” Fear, grief, and rage tightened his chest. Thunderous stomps made the wholestage vibrate and the hissing of hydraulics caused him to jump.

Telling himself that what he was experiencing was his memory running wild, Ianto tried to concentrate on Jack who was still delivering his opening speech. Jealousy filled him at how easily and naturally it seemed to be for the captain. Jack was not just comfortable in front of a big audience, he even thrived on it. An ability that Ianto thoroughly lacked.

Once more, Ianto let his gaze wander over the crowd. Some of them looked up with interest. Most of them, though, seemed to fixate Ianto with penetrating stares. Their irritation and loathing was not just palpable. Ianto could feel it as if they were his own emotions. It robbed him of his breath.

Hearing Jack refer to him, Ianto knew it was his turn. Despite his frantic heartbeat, he began with his speech and felt how it was met with refusal. A fresh wave of rejection washed over him that corded up his throat and made breathing impossible. Feeling his pulse beat in his temples and hearing his blood rush in his ears, Ianto lost focus of the real world and tumbled into a deep well of turmoil.

 

tbc…


	27. Down the rabbit hole

**Chapter 27 – Down the rabbit hole**

 

Owen did not think that he had ever seen Jack move that fast. Before anyone else could react, he was at Ianto’s side, stopped his fall, and laid him gently on the floor. He had loosened his tie and opened his collar when the medic tried to push him away.

“Jack! Let me help!” Owen yelled at their boss.

Strangely, his words stilled the captain, and when he looked up at the medic, his eyes were full of pain.

“I don’t think you can,” Jack hoarsely said.

“Oh, really,” Owen huffed. “Now who’s the doctor?”

“You are… and a good one,” Jack said. “I’m afraid this is nothing physical, though. Help me by taking him elsewhere, a place where we can be on our own.”

“Jack!”

“Not what you’re thinking!” Jack erupted. “Now help me!”

“Just let me check on his vitals, okay?” Owen tried to calm him, reaching out for Ianto’s carotid pulse. “Wow, his blood pressure must be going through the roof! He belongs in hospital!”

“Your medicine can only treat the symptoms,” Jack shook his head. “But it can’t save him.”

Hearing the finality in Jack’s voice, all colour drained from Owen’s face. They did not know much about their enigmatic captain, but one thing that Owen knew for sure was that he would never indulge his penchant for melodrama at the risk of his team members’ welfare.

“But what happened?” Owen tonelessly queried.

“Later,” Jack told him firmly. “Now we need to help Ianto.”

Jack’s tone now brooked no objection and Owen obeyed, giving him the space he needed.

Only when he gathered the young man up in his arms and stood, Jack realized that they were surrounded by people. The Brigadier wordlessly signalled his men to stand back while Sarah-Jane took the microphone to address and assure the crowd.

“Come with me, Jack,” the Brigadier told him.

The Brigadier went first, his mere presence making curious people, who wanted to know what had happened or offered their support, move away.

“Out of the way!” Owen shouted, as he followed right on the Brigadier’s heels, ready to make space for Jack who cradled an unconscious Ianto in his arms.

The Brigadier led them past the command centre to another truck and ordered everyone present to leave.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Thank you, Alistair,” Jack rasped as he strode past his friend and to a narrow bed that could also serve as a stretcher. Carefully, he lowered Ianto on it. On the periphery of his vision, he saw Owen linger about.

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” the medic prodded.

“I’ll explain later,” Jack told him firmly.

“Tell me the gist of it!” Owen snapped. “I need to make sure he receives the appropriate medical treatment!”

“Except this is nothing you can treat, Owen,” Jack softly said.

Owen could not help but think that the captain looked scared. Jack was not sure if he could provide the help he promised and that put Owen on edge.

“What is it?” he yelled.

“PTSD?” the Brigadier mused aloud.

“Sort of,” Jack nodded, elevating the Welshman’s legs in order to make him as comfortable as possible. “It’s an empathic kind of backlash, and now, please, stop pestering!”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Owen asked, eyeing the medical equipment the truck was stuffed with. “Monitor his vitals or something?”

Hearing the desperate will to help in the medic’s tone, Jack caved.

“All right. Monitor him. Warn me if you feel it to be necessary, but don’t interfere. I need to focus solely on Ianto.”

Owen agreed.

“I need to go back,” the Brigadier softly told them, “but I’ll make sure you won’t be interrupted.”

Absently, Jack nodded as the Brigadier retreated.

“I was afraid that something like this could happen,” the captain nervously muttered to himself as he opened Ianto’s belt buckle as well as button and zipper of his trousers. “Astonishing, really, that he did not lose it when he was stuck in that conversion unit. When he seemed to be all right, I started to believe that I was mistaken, that he would manage on his own. I was so wrong…”

Owen listened to his rambling while he took Ianto’s blood pressure.

“I was right, Jack!” he urgently told him. “The measurements are going off the dial.”

“Oh, stop exaggerating,” Jack scoffed. “He’d be dead already. Could you keep that stuff to yourself?”

“I can’t just ignore it!” Owen frayed, searching for anitro spray or capsules. “I’ve got to do something!”

“I’m about to, Dr. Harper,” Jack snarled. “I could be helping already if I wasn’t constantly interrupted.”

The captain could see how being unable to help ate away at the doctor.

“Believe me, I know what I’m doing,” Jack tried to assure him. “I already sensed his talent when I first met him. That’s the reason I wanted him in Cardiff.”

“Oh?” Owen was confused. “So your carnal instincts had nothing to do with it?”

At that, Jack just glowered at him.

“Ever done this before?” Owen pushed as he still was not convinced.

Biting his bottom lip, Jack cocked his head in an undecided motion.

“Not quite this… but I know how it should be done,” he said. Still guilt and anxiety carried in his voice. Two expressions that made Owen aware of the gravity of the situation. “I hope I can guide him.”

This time, the medic refrained from prodding, as he could see how Jack tried to concentrate. Ianto’s blood pressure was way too high, his features ashen, and his breathing shallow. They had no time to lose.

 

xXx

 

Jack’s heart beat in his throat when he finally turned his attention solely on Ianto. Despite his assurances, he was not certain if he could pull this off. Yes, he made mental connections before, truth was, though, that he had never had to act in a case of emergency. If he could not connect with Ianto now, everything might be lost.

It scared the crap out of him.

That Owen was scared as well did not help.

_How much more scared must Ianto be?_

Taking another deep breath, Jack laid his left hand on Ianto’s shoulder, beneath the shirt, his right hand came to rest on the dark brown curls, and he closed his eyes. The physical contact was not exactly necessary, but in his opinion a reassuring touch could not hurt.

_Please, let me in!_

It was harder to get in touch with Ianto than Jack had thought. His own mental abilities were limited and somewhat rusty. During his long stay on Earth, he rarely met people who could respond to him that way.

_C’mon, Ianto! I know you’re scared. Don’t reject me! Please, give me a chance to guide you!_

All of a sudden, he was enveloped by darkness. Jack’s heart skipped a beat. There seemed to be a presence in the dark that he could not spot. His attempt to sense it made Jack shiver. The cold crept from his fingertips over his hands, up his arm and down his body to his legs. It was so horribly similar to his own experiences that he feared he might be too late.

It was then that he noticed a faint shimmer that seemed to come through the crack of a door. Carefully, he approached and reached out. Before he could find a handle, the door gave way under his soft touch and Jack fell head first.

Hands!

Hands all around him!

Hands a-thousands!

Hands of metal.

Hands of flesh.

Hissing of hydraulics.

Jack fell through a tunnel of hands that reached for him, but none could stop his fall. Endlessly, it seemed to go down. Twisting his body, Jack tried to take one of the hands, but slipped past at every attempt. Suddenly, it was dark again.

Miraculously, his fall slowed. Maybe it was just the dark that made him feel like it slowed. Once more, he turned. Then his feet touched soft ground.

_Where the hell am I?_

At once, he berated himself for cursing. That would not help. Instead, he did his best to exude strength and security.

_Ianto?_

No sign of him.

When Jack tentatively started to move, he felt the floor beneath his feet sink. It felt like walking on moss, and his shoes made wet noises. Gradually, his surroundings became lighter and Jack realized that the tunnel was a dark red. Partially, it looked like flesh that merged with the straight lines of a corridor. As he proceeded, the bizarre dreamscape put him on edge.

Suddenly, Jack froze in his tracks.

At the t-crossing far down the corridor stood a figure with a familiar shape. Jack thought he recognized the profile, but something was odd about…

“Ianto?”

When the younger man turned his head to look in the captain’s direction, he realized what was wrong. A cyber-helmet covered his head.

_Oh, crap!_

Heavy stomps sounded when the Welshman strode away. Jack followed and turned left… running into an outstretched arm. The metal hand clamped down on his shoulder, electricity shooting through his system and paralyzing him.

“Argh! Ianto!”

In his half-converted Cyber state, the young man seemed at odds with what he was doing, his blue eyes wide with terror. Before Jack could make out anything more, he collapsed at Ianto’s metal feet.

“Ianto,” he croaked. “Please. I’m here to help.”

Terrified of him or of what he had done, Cyber-Ianto backed off and merged into the flesh wall.

“Damn!”

Jack scrambled to his feet and tried to follow, but the flesh would not let him through. Instead, he had to avoid wires shooting toward him. His attempt to run down the corridor became increasingly difficult with the wobbly ground that bounced beneath his shoes. Cables and wires stuck out everywhere, crossing with tubes and bars. An ugly gurgling sound mixed with the whining and hissing of machines, creating a disturbing soundtrack to this nightmare.

_Where did he go?_

Desperately, Jack searched for a way to get to Ianto. Proceeding through what seemed to be a biological, yet cyber-augmented version of Torchwood Tower, the captain cast about for the young Welshman. Rounding another corner, he stepped into a white-tiled corridor, brightly lit by neon tubes. Reflexively, he threw himself to the ground, rolling over his shoulder, in order to avoid a Dalek’s blast.

“Exterminate!” it shrieked.

Pulling out his Webley made no sense as it was utterly useless against the Dalek. Its bullets would not even make dents in the alien’s armour. Screaming with rage, Jack charged at the oversized pepper caster, running zigzag to avoid the deadly beams and making it past the attacker.

“Ianto?” Jack shouted as he dove through an opening and found himself in darkness. It was cold and silent. For a moment, Jack stood and wondered at the sudden change of location. Then he heard a faint sob. Somewhere in the darkness seemed to be a frightened child. Jack searched for him but could not even tell if he got any further in the dark. He could not find the child either.

“Ianto!” he softly called. “Where are you? You’re safe now. Come to me.”

His cajoling words got no reply. On the contrary, Jack felt the repulsion. All of a sudden, the ground beneath his feet gave way and he fell into darkness, landing on something hard and sliding down in spirals until he shot toward a concrete wall.

_Stop!_

Protectively bringing up his arms, Jack smashed into the wall, miraculously coming out on the other side where he found himself in what looked like a factory. Almost deafened by a cacophony of buzzes, hisses, drills, screeches, howling, cries, and screams, he struggled to focus. On second sight, though, Jack realized that he landed in a cyber-conversion-facility. Stacked like honeycombs, the conversion chambers stretched to an endless corridor.

“Ianto?” Jack called out in search of the Welshman. His own heart was beating wildly in sync with the machines, while anxiety corded up his throat. “Ianto, where are you?”

Running from chamber to chamber, Jack examined the aisle. Whenever he looked into a cubicle, he was confronted by horrifying scenes. With every second, his own panic rose, his breathing turned to ragged gasps and his vision blurred.

 

xXx

 

“Jack?” Owen cried out with fright.

Ianto’s body arched off the thin mattress and fell back, shuddering and jerking. Jack’s stance and expression were not encouraging either. His breathing was just as laboured as Ianto’s and his eyes shut tight with concentration. By now, he had a death grip on the young man’s hair and he rather supported himself on Ianto’s chest than resting his hand there reassuringly. It was obvious that he worked hard to do whatever he was trying to do.

Once more, Owen entertained the idea of administering an injection, even though he clearly recalled Jack’s order just to monitor them. Seeing Ianto’s condition now, though, he could not help but wonder if it was not a mistake to just sit back and let Jack have his will.

_His pulse’s racing. I bet hissystolicreading’s ranging aroundtwo hundred._

Owen knew that he risked a heart attack or a stroke. Yet he did not know exactly what was going on. If he acted on impulse, he might make it worse… or lose him.

His sense of duty being torn between his Hippocratic oath and his trust in Jack, Owen watched the bizarre scene, only to see Ianto arch once more, a silent scream escaping his lips.

 

xXx

 

By a hair’s breadth, Jack would not have recognized Ianto and gone on to another conversion chamber. Trapped in the cyber-machine, his limbs exchanged with cyber-parts and his terror-contorted face framed by the horrible helmet, Ianto screamed with breaking voice. Jack’s heart clenched painfully as he strode in to shut down the conversion unit, if not the screaming.

It was a heartbreaking sight.

Ianto’s body was partially covered with metal straps, wires sticking out everywhere. From his pelvis down his legs had been replaced with artificial limbs, and the same applied to his arms. The young man strained against the clamps that held him and screamed unstoppably.

To Jack’s horror, the machine restarted, cutting at Ianto’s body, sparks flying and blood spattering. His attempt to stop the unit failed and he helplessly had to watch Ianto writhe in agony.

Knowing no other way, Jack threw himself between the mechanics of the conversion unit. Ignoring the vicious stabs into his body, he grabbed Ianto and kissed him.

 

xXx

 

Repeatedly, Ianto’s body jerked. Still, no sound came over his lips. Owen could see, though, how the eyeballs flicked beneath the lids. It was like he was caught in the throes of a nightmare. One that he could not escape by startling awake.

The readings he got worried Owen more and more. Against Jack’s order, he pierced a capsule, ready to squeeze out the drops into Ianto’s open mouth, when the captain sagged over the Welshman’s now limp body.

 

xXx

 

When their lips met it was not just sparks that flew but the air around them crackled with electricity, bright lights dancing in circles, surrounding them in a swirl and sucking them into a Rift storm.

Jack’s arms protectively wrapped around the Welshman’s form, they shot through lightless space like a rocket. Fireworks exploded around them, scattering the stars into the dark.

That was when Ianto pulled away from Jack. The disturbing sounds of the cyber-factory returned with a vengeance, the confines of metal armour rapidly closing in on them, squeezing relentlessly until the bones cracked. Despite sensing his repulse, Jack dove into another kiss and the sun appeared, vaporizing the cyber-parts.

This time Jack backed off.

“Come with me, Ianto,” he said. “You’re safe now.”

“I’m not!” the young man sobbed.

Jack still could feel the cold in him and see the terror in his eyes.

“Then let me take you to the safest place I ever knew,” he suggested, gently taking Ianto’s hands. They drifted toward a comet and as they sailed through its tail they entered another Rift storm.

 

xXx

 

Fixed to where he sat beside the cot, all Owen could do was stare.

For a second, he had thought that Jack had collapsed as well, but then he realized that while he leaned heavily on the young man’s chest, he did not exactly slump. Gradually his position even straightened again, while his eyes remained closed and his breathing slowed.

To Owen’s astonishment, he saw Ianto’s readings return to a normal level. Only then, he dared to relax slightly.

 

xXx

 

“Where are we?” Ianto asked as Jack released him from another kiss. Their surroundings were strange, the room empty except for the weirdest pieces of architecture Ianto had ever seen. “This the safe place you told me about?”

“Yes,” Jack nodded, withstanding Ianto’s attempt to pull away from him. Comfortingly, he rubbed his thumb over the back of the Welshman’s neck. “Safest place in the universe.”

“Where is it?” Ianto demanded to know, still trying to comprehend what happened and to make sense of the unfamiliar building with its nearly organic structure of pillars.

“Right now? I don’t know.”

“But…”

Helplessly, Ianto trailed off. Something still put him on edge, no matter how reassuring Jack’s words. So far, he could not pinpoint it. If someone would have asked him to describe it, he might have said there was ‘a spirit’. It was an unearthly feel that made him certain about another’s presence. It soothed him and he had the courage to take a deep, if shuddering, breath.

“That’s it, Ianto,” Jack praised. “Relax.”

“I’m scared,” Ianto whined. “What happened?”

“Your mind turned against you,” Jack explained. “But here you can rest now. Here you can heal.”

“Heal?” Ianto muttered, confused. “From what?”

“Sensory overload,” Jack stated. “Being confronted with the place of origin of recent traumatic events, your latent empathy was flooded with too many emotions for you to handle.”

Ianto looked even more confused and focused on the more tangible thing, “What is this place?”

“The TARDIS.”

xXx

 

Seeing Ianto’s pulse slow to a normal level, Owen had a closer look at both men. Jack’s features still wore a mask of concentration, while the young Welshman appeared more at peace now. Owen listened to his breathing, which was still a bit erratic but gradually evened out. Still they seemed far from returning to the present, which raised the medic’s anxiety a notch. As it had worked so far, though, he trusted Jack to bring them the rest of the way, and waited, if not patiently.

 

xXx

 

“The Doctor’s ship?” Ianto gasped and Jack nodded.

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

Ianto was not sure about that and wanted to remark that he did not see much of the ship yet when the scenery changed, a very prominent pillar, circled by a console with numerous displays, buttons, and handles, appearing in the centre of the room. A pretty, young blonde leaned against the desk, chatting animatedly with the man who sat on a cushioned bench beside the console. He had a wide, infectious smile, astute blue eyes, and short cropped, dark hair. Casually clad all in black with jeans, a v-neck t-shirt and leather jacket, the man did not appear alien at all.

Alas, Ianto could come only to one conclusion, “Is that him?”

“Yes.”

A chill ran down Ianto’s spine at hearing the captain’s voice loaded with sentiment. The captain seemed to feel rather nostalgic about the Doctor. Then a wave of ambiguous emotions surged against him, robbing him of his breath. Just for a second, he heard a voice singing in his head before his surroundings dissolved.

Once more, Ianto found himself in a conversion unit, screaming with agony. It lasted for a couple of horrifying seconds, then he was sucked into the metal frame, plunged into darkness and falling. Something caught his fall and he felt wrapped in thick fabric. His head was swimming with a terrifying spinning sensation. As the whirl finally slowed, the room they previously were in came back into perspective.

Still unbalanced by nausea, Ianto leaned into Jack’s embrace.

“What happened?” he rasped.

“It’s your mind failing to cope,” Jack told him, brushing a hand over his hair soothingly. “The onslaught of emotions simply is too much for it.”

As a matter of fact, Ianto was threatening to lose the fragile control he currently had. He could feel it slip.

“Help me,” he muttered and felt Jack’s arms wrap around him protectively.

“That’s what I’m trying to do.”

Sensing that he could not wait for Ianto to muster the strength to build up control himself, Jack aborted his last doubts and dove into a slow and sensual kiss.

 

tbc…


	28. Decommission - part I

Ianto awoke peacefully. Blinking a few times, he adjusted to the dimmed light. As his memory returned, he scowled at the irritatingly rested feeling he woke with.

“Hello, sleeping beauty.”

Just for a second, Ianto wondered, why Jack sounded so unfamiliar and smug, before he realized that it was Owen.

“How are you?” the medic prodded.

_Good question._

Thinking that he might be mistaken if he gave in to his first impulse, saying he felt all right, Ianto took a moment to assess his condition. While it was true that he felt fine in general, he found that something constricted his chest and kept it from expanding.

“I’m fine,” he told Owen. “Just… difficulty breathing.”

Astonishingly, the medic chuckled.

“I’m not surprised,” he replied with obvious amusement and tilted his head to indicate Ianto to take a look.

Carefully lifting his head, Ianto discovered the captain sprawled across his body.

“Jack!” he called out with shock. “What’s wrong?”

“My educated guess as a doctor,” Owen snickered, “would be clear and simple exhaustion.”

“Did you check on him?” Ianto demanded, freeing his right hand to reach for the captain’s pulse. “Jack? Do you hear me?”

Shaking him on his shoulders, Ianto tried to rouse him and got a grunt in return.

“I saw him shudder and sweat,” Owen explained, “I heard him pant with the effort it took him to do whatever he did. He was totally beat.”

“Jack?”

Worry laced his voice when he called out for the captain. At the same time, the apparent lack of emotion that Owen demonstrated annoyed him. Did he care so little about the captain? Ianto could not quite imagine it after seeing Owen butt heads with Jack about the exam after the attack of the whirlwinds.

“Oh, c’mon, Jack! You’re too heavy! Get off me!”

Finally roused by the insistent pushes against his shoulders, Jack moaned and tried to scoot back, sliding off the edge of the cot instead.

“Ouch!” he called out as he landed on the floor.

Owen snickered.

“Not funny,” Jack growled.

“Depends on the perspective,” Owen shot back.

“You better wipe that smirk off your face if you don’t want your perspective to change drastically,” Ianto sourly cut in, sitting up. Although he was not quite sure what to make of the medic’s remark, he knew he did not like Owen’s grin. Aside from that, he felt odd, as if he was watching the scene through a pane of frosted glass.

“Hey, take it easy, teaboy,” Owen muttered.

“What did you just call him?” Jack gasped indignantly, pulling himself up on the cot.

“All meant in good fun,” Owen replied defensively, holding up his hands in a pacifying gesture. “Take it easy, Captain.”

“Leave us alone for a moment.”

“I didn’t check on Ianto yet.”

“He’s fine, Owen,” Jack pressed through gritted teeth. “Just go.”

“It’s okay, Owen,” Ianto confirmed. “Just give us a moment.”

“Sure?” the medic prodded, looking the young man over enquiringly.

Ianto nodded. Actually, he still felt odd. It was a sensation that he could not quite grasp, as if the world had shifted an inch. Due to the vague nature of his symptoms, he doubted, that Owen could help with that.

A last time, Owen favoured them both with an exploring look before he left the truck. When they were alone again, Ianto turned to Jack. His scalp tickled at the look the captain bestowed upon him.

“Jack,” he began tentatively, “what we did when you… did whatever you did… that wasn’t, I mean, I don’t want to…”

“Easy, Ianto,” Jack said softly, lowering his gaze. “You could say that it was a projection. I just wanted to assure you that you’re safe.”

“I thought that what I saw were memories.”

“They were,” Jack confirmed. “Memories and emotions your mind tried to deal with by displaying them as a dream.”

“What happened anyway?” Ianto prodded. The intense gaze directed at him made him uncomfortable. Any attempt to further explore what might go on within Jack ended in emptiness. It was unsettling. Ever since they had told him at One that he bore a latent empathic if not telepathic talent, he had struggled with the knowledge and wished to be rid of it. Now he was confused by the sudden lack of intuition.

“I don’t know how else I should explain it,” Jack said with a helpless shrug.

“No,” Ianto shook his head, “ _what_ did you _do_?”

“I helped you deal with it,” Jack told him firmly. “Showed you a way out of the chaos.”

Ianto scowled at him deeply.

“Anything else you did?” he pushed.

At that, Jack sheepishly worried his bottom lip.

“Jack!”

“Yeah,” he relented, trying to decide how to explain himself. He had been uncomfortable doing it, but at the time, he saw no other way, “there is something. I… was afraid I was losing you, so… instead of helping you to regain control, I shut it down.”

“Shut what down?” Ianto pressed, feeling a tingling on his scalp.

Now Jack avoided his view as he admitted, “Your empathy.”

“What?” it burst out of the young Welshman. “Reverse it!”

“I wouldn’t advise it,” Jack calmly told him. “Not yet.”

Ianto did not hear the latter as he stormed out of the truck.

“Ianto, wait!” Jack shouted. “I had no choice!”

But the Welshman already was too far away.

 

xXx

 

As Ianto ran away, he was mad enough to kill Jack, but what good would that do? He would not feel any better and Jack would bounce back.

A mad giggle escaped Ianto at that idea because it was so inconceivable and outrageous.

 _What kind of farce has my life turned into?_ Ianto thought, feeling an odd mix of misery and hilarity. _My fiancé was killed by Cybermen, I’m turning into a mad alien hunter, and to top it all off my boss is immortal!_

Seeing that the crowd in the marquee was beginning to dissolve, he quickly looked around in search of his team mates. As he could not spot them, he decided to go straight to the Marriot Hotel where they had arranged for the debriefing of One’s survivors. He had just started on his way, when someone called out for him.

“Ianto, wait!”

Wearily he looked over his shoulder as he slowed his steps.

“Are you all right?” Toshiko asked as she caught up with him and fell into pace at his side.

For a moment, he was uncertain how to answer her.

“Physically I’m fine,” he cautiously replied. “The rest… getting there eventually, I think, hope...” he trailed off.

“You gave us all a scare,” she softly told him, carefully placing a hand on his forearm and sliding it slowly down. When he did not resist, she laced her fingers with his. “The Brigadier’s assistant gave a good speech. At first, she improvised and asked for a minute’s silence. I suspect that she used the time to go over your notes that still were on the desk, because she then led over to what you have written. I’m grateful to her for that. You found such wonderful words. So poignant.”

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“You know, you don’t have to help with the debriefing,” Toshiko said. “We can cover it.”

“It’s okay,” he assured her, realizing he sounded rather half-hearted.

“But really, you don’t have to.”

“And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?” he asked, “Sit in a corner and wallow in misery?”

Realizing that the alternative was definitely not preferable, she shook her head. “No.”

Ianto offered her a small tentative smile and they continued on their way.

In the shadows of the marquee, Jack stood and watched them go. He had been intent on following Ianto, but when he saw Toshiko go after him, he refrained from pursuing him. They had talked before so he was certain that his computer expert would be able to sort this out as well. Grateful, yet disappointed, the captain stayed behind.

“I’m glad he’s all right.”

Jack started. He did not notice the Brigadier stepping up beside him.

“Yeah,” was all he knew to reply, still following Ianto with his gaze.

“He seems to be a remarkable young man,” the Brigadier said.

“He’s… precious.”

Noticing the emotion in the captain’s voice, the Brigadier eyed his friend intently. There was definitely an underlying meaning in his statement.

“Then you should not let the opportunity slip by,” he advised.

“That’s not my place to decide,” Jack told him curtly.

“Probably not,” the Brigadier cautiously agreed, because he realized that Jack was about to drive the young man away. “Just remember, where there is no choice, one cannot choose.”

Confused by the cryptic words, Jack scowled at his friend.

“Just saying,” the Brigadier shrugged, quietly amused by the obvious lack of insight the much older man demonstrated.

Jack already followed another train of thoughts, asking, “Did you see him when he was here?”

“The Doctor?” The Brigadier shook his head. “No, I didn’t even know he was here until the Cybermen and Daleks miraculously returned to wherever they came from.”

“Well, that’s him, right?” Jack said with false cheer. “Hopping in and hopping out. Never staying anywhere.”

“Jack…” the Brigadier started to try and reassure him, but the captain took off toward the hotel, calling a distant ‘goodbye’ over his shoulder.

 

xXx

 

Entering the hotel’s conference room made Ianto feel like he was back in school. Some people fell silent at his sight. Due to his earlier collapse on stage, he soon became the focus of unwanted attention. Unfortunately, his physical condition was not the only reason. As he passed former colleagues on his way over to Owen, he heard snippets of their conversations.

“We all know Harkness likes ‘em young and pretty,” someone said disdainfully.

“Yeah, I’ve heard the captain makes most of his hiring decisions with his cock.”

“Guess that explains how he put together that _illustrious_ group,” a third voice sarcastically contributed to the unedifying conversation.

Choosing to ignore them, Ianto continued on his way, only to run into someone else. He knew he had seen him before… _Oh, right! He was in the same division as Lisa._

“Didn’t waste any time to get your feet under that table, now did you?” the tall dark skinned man accused.

“What kind of table would that be?” Ianto asked.

The man gave him an ugly sneer.“Did Lisa know you play for both sides, or were you going to marry the poor girl and not tell her until an old boyfriend met you by chance and let something slip?”

Ianto’s first reflex was to punch the guy right in the face. Feeling exhausted and on show, though, he scrabbled about for a come back.He also would not sully Lisa’s memory or the relationship he had with her by discussing it with this troglodyte.

“Seeing how concerned you are for my fiancé, I’m surprised you don’t show more respect, honouring her memory,” Ianto replied dryly and left him standing, following Toshiko to their colleagues.

“Are we ready to begin?” he asked.

Owen eyed him with stunned indignation. “We’ll take care of it,” the medic said. “Take a break.”

“No, I’ll do it,” Ianto declared stubbornly.

“The introduction,” Suzie cut in, fixating him with a death glare, “I’ll do the presentation. None of us wants to iron out any glitches later.”

Ianto was astonished by her offer but chose to accept it. “Thank you.”

“You really don’t have to do any of it,” Owen insisted.

“C’mon, Owen,” Ianto snarled. “I _have_ to do that.”

“Are you really up to it?” the medic asked.

“Not sure,” Ianto shrugged, “but I have no choice.”

After sharing another meaningful look, Owen stepped aside to let Ianto pass. The young Welshman went to the microphone and activated it. Clearing his throat, he started at hearing how loud his voice became. Taking a deep, calming breath, he addressed his former co-workers.

“As there seems to circulate a misconception about how I came to be _temporarily_ employed in Cardiff, I should set the record straight: I just happen to be an archivist and Three needed someone to integrate the artefacts they salvaged from One into their archives. Since I am familiar with One’s culture and personnel, Captain Harkness has asked me to help with transitioning all of you to the next phase of your careers.”

Hearing the discontent murmur, Ianto thought that it was advisable to pass the responsibility on to Suzie now, but before he got the chance, he was rudely interrupted, “What I’d like to know is how you happened to meet up with him in the first place!” someone cut in loudly. “Where were you hiding out while the rest of us were taken into UNIT custody?”

Recognizing the voice as one of those he had overheard in passing, Ianto felt anger rise inside him. They could not get it more wrong and it annoyed him that they had to cast a slur on him and Jack in order to whitewash their own failure and jealousy. He neither wanted to answer to the cruel accusation, nor did he want to give them any satisfaction by backing down to the challenge.

“Well, just pretending it’s actually any of your business, while you were cooling your heels in UNIT custody, eating biscuits and drinking coffeewhile others struggled for survival, I was trapped for two days in a jammed conversion unit, staring at a bloody circular saw blade poised to rip into me if the power should suddenly come back on, and by bloody, I do mean coated in the blood of the previous victims. Captain Harkness freed me. End of story.”

Embarrassed silence followed.

“We put together information packets for you,” Ianto went on as if nothing had happened, “outlining how continuing your careers with UNIT could increase your pension when you retire. They will also provide you with an idea about the alternatives. Agent Costello will guide you through those packages before we meet with you in one-on-one exit interviews to complete the paperwork with each of you individually. Thank you.”

As he stepped back from the desk, Ianto realized that he forgot something important and still feeling the anger at the impertinent men he could not help but include a not quite serious threat when he announced, “We are authorized to Retcon without their consent anyone we believe we cannot trust to be discreet with the special knowledge gained by working for Torchwood.”

  It was not really true, but he imagined it would be fairly easy to get that permission if he only asked for it.

  Lightening his tone, he continued, “And on that note, it seems appropriate to remind you all that you had to sign the Official Secrets Act to join Torchwood, and despite the branch here in London being decommissioned, that promise is still binding for as long as you live.”

When Ianto stepped back this time, he felt somewhat wobbly on his feet. Unfortunately, he ran into Owen who eyed him with a stern expression that made him quite uncomfortable. As a result, he had trouble taking in what the medic told him in a rather indignant tone, “I’m grudgingly impressed.” Ianto opened his mouth to reply, but Owen cut him short, “Don’t thank me, teaboy. You should take a break. Now.”

Ianto did not intend to argue. He felt physically and emotionally drained and readily accompanied Owen past the group of Torchwood employees to one of the partitions they had set up in the back of the conference room for the one-on-one interviews. Behind the walls of the partition, Ianto was out of sight but could still listen in to what was going on. The leather office chair looked comfortable.

“Is this all right or should I search for something more private?” Owen asked uncharacteristically friendly.

“No, I’m fine here,” Ianto warded off. “Should have brought something to drink, though.”

“I’ll get you something,” Owen rushed to say, keeping his patient from getting up by putting a hand on his shoulder. “Be right back.”

The medic rushed away and Ianto adjusted his chair. The backrest gave way readily, allowing him to stretch out. Now he just needed something to put up his feet on.

 _Not the desk,_ he decided. With a sigh, he straightened his limbs.

As if he had read Ianto’s mind, Owen quickly returned with one of the chairs, shoving it in position. It was quite considerate, actually, but the medic only acknowledged Ianto’s grateful smile with a dismissive grunt.

 _Oh no, you don’t want to give the impression you might actually give a damn,_ Ianto inwardly chuckled at the doctor’s attitude.

A moment later, Owen was back with a bottle of water, a glass, a mug of coffee, and a plate loaded with pastries. Now Ianto could not restrain his chuckle.

“I don’t know why we’re feeding One’s bastards anyway,” Owen growled.

“Because they’re _survivors_ who deserve our compassion,” Ianto replied as he put his feet up on the chair. He filled the glass with water and took a sip. Judging by Owen’s dark expression, he did not share Ianto’s opinion. “You freed them out of a stuck elevator, rescued them from black predators, dug them out of rubble… these twenty six people are the only ones left from about eight hundred. Don’t forget about that.”

“I don’t like their attitude,” Owen huffed.

“Well, I guess then you’re even,” Ianto smirked. “I’m sure they don’t like yours either.”

“Smart-arse,” the medic scoffed.

“Sorehead.”

Owen snorted. “Don’t move away from that chair. Doctor’s order.”

 _Don’t worry,_ Ianto thought but did not reply. He had no intention whatsoever of getting up any time soon. Owen went back to the meeting where the survivors sat, provided with information packages, coffee, and pastries, listening to Suzie’s presentation.

Ianto sighed and closed his eyes, allowing himself to be lulled by the drone of voices. Only when he thought about the general atmosphere among the group, he was disturbed by his lack of empathy. Where he had been flooded and overwhelmed by emotions earlier, he now experienced a fat lot of nothing.

Grief tightened his chest and blurred his vision with brimming tears. It was so unfair. Even though he never really wanted those special abilities and did not consciously use them, he already sorely missed them.

_I could’ve lost so much more than just that._

He sighed and took some sips of his coffee. As his stomach growled, he reached for a pastry. It was a pity that he could not really enjoy the treat, but he just was so raw. Just when he chewed on the last bite, he noticed someone peek around the partition.

“Carlie?”

“Hello, Ianto,” she murmured. “I didn’t want to disturb you. Can I come in?”

“Sure,” he replied and sat up. Gesturing at the chair on the other side of the table, he encouraged her to sit down. As she did, he could not stop watching her as she had changed so much. Gone were the unfortunately shaped glasses, replaced by a frameless designed model that allowed a free look at her pretty features and green-brown speckled eyes. Only some of her hair was pinned up while the rest cascaded down onto her shoulders. Ianto could not remember ever seeing the willowy oceanaut with her hair down, except on the day after the Cyber-attack when the team dug her out of rubble in the Secure Archives.

“Ianto, I’m really, really sorry about Lisa. You were such a nice couple.” Seeing his brow reflexively shoot up, she sheepishly went on, “I’m also sorry if I gave a begrudging impression.”

“Just a little bit,” Ianto blurted out before he could stop himself.

“Serves me right,” she waved it away before he could apologize. “I admit, I have a crush on you.” Just as quickly as it slipped off her tongue, she clapped a hand over her lips, “Huh! I should watch my mouth.”

Actually, Ianto found it flattering, and he felt a light flush heat his cheeks.

“You’re looking good,” he heard himself say. “I like your new style.”

Now it was Carlie’s turn to blush.

“Thank you, Ianto.”

An awkward pause passed before he said, “The presentation’s still going on. Don’t you want to hear what Suzie’s saying?”

“I prefer to talk with you,” Carlie replied. “I know what I want, just need to complete the paperwork.”

“Okay,” Ianto agreed and provided her with the respective documents.

Carlie began to fill in the form until she suddenly said, “I hate how the others treated you.”

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” Ianto grunted and wished he could just shrug it off.

Reading a passage carefully, Carlie paused again. She appeared worried, so Ianto felt compelled to ask, “Can I help?”

Thoughtfully, she toyed with her pen.

“That paragraph about Retcon…” she murmured. “Is taking it really voluntary?”

“Yes.”

Strangely, his answer did not seem to persuade her.

“Carlie, you don’t have to forget,” Ianto tried to assure her. “The Official Secrets Act is committing you to secrecy. Nobody will force you to take Retcon.”

“If that’s true, I don’t want to forget,” Carlie told him carefully.

“That’s all right,” Ianto confirmed. “You said you knew already what you want to do next?”

“I’m going to try and find a research job,” she said. “I’d love to work on a research ship. It would be perfect if they would have a submarine at their disposal.”

“Sounds good.”

“Yeah… if I can find such a position,” she chuckled.

“I’m sure you’ll find a job that suits you,” Ianto encouraged.

“Thanks.”

Her smile was warming his heart. It was nice to see that she was able to smile after everything that had happened. It also did not make it seem like he did something forbidden when he smiled himself… or even laughed for that matter.

“Anything else I can help you with?” he asked.

“No, I’m good. Thank you.”

Ianto kept watching her while she read the rest of the paperwork and answered the last questions. She seemed content, which was somewhat strange to see. In the end, she signed with a flourish and shoved the documents over to Ianto.

“Well, that’s it,” she sighed. “No more Torchwood.”

“Right.”

“It’s weird, but I’m relieved,” she said. “I didn’t think I would be.”

“I would say that’s a good sign,” Ianto told her and hoped he was right. He really wished she was going to be all right and would lead a happy life.

“You know,” she awkwardly began, “please don’t get it wrong, but there’s still something I’d like to ask you about Captain Harkness.”

At that Ianto felt reluctance. Did she turn out to be just another gossiper? Guardedly he asked back, “Which is?”

“How’s working with him?” Carlie wanted to know. “I mean, all the rumours are hardly significant. You worked for him for a while now, so you should have a first impression.”

As he had felt a pang of dread at hearing that she wanted to ask him something about Jack at first, Ianto was now glad about Carlie’s actual question. Still, he was not quite sure about what to tell her.

“Diversified,” was the first word that slipped off his tongue. “I’m the temping archivist, yes, but as the office is so small, there are lot of different tasks that fall in my scope of duty.”

“Like what?” she readily picked up on the subject.

“Making coffee,” Ianto responded immediately, almost automatically, “order office supplies, clear out the bins…”

“Glamorous,” she smirked. “But you’re evading the question.”

“I’m… looking for the best way to answer it,” Ianto smiled back at her. “It’s hard to put a label on a man like Captain Harkness, which makes me wonder why most of One are so readily applying one to him.”

“And not the best one,” Carlie murmured absently, mulling over his words. “So how _is_ working with him?”

“A challenge,” Ianto finally conceded. “And not for the reasons that seem so obvious to everyone. No, he’s actually a very good leader and… ultimately a good man.”

Something in his tone made her lift her eyebrows.

“Easy, Ianto,” she lightly warded off, “You don’t have to defend him to me. Remember, he saved me, too.”

“I… I’m not defending him, Carlie,” Ianto replied, “It’s just…”

“No, really, Ianto,” she tried to cut in, “I was just trying to form my own opinion.”

“Well, then you’re one of very few who show real interest in him instead of just trying to verify the rumours they heard.”

Astonishingly, she looked wounded.

“Ianto, I hope you know me well enough to believe that I’m _not_ that shallow.”

“I’m not at my best right now, otherwise you wouldn’t have mistaken my statement for sarcasm,” Ianto replied. “You know… I think that what I just told you struck me most about the Captain from the very beginning. He’s just fundamentally very decent, and ruthless, too, when he needs to be. It’s hard to reconcile those two traits existing in equal measure in one man, but they do in Jack. But mostly… mostly he’s decent.”

“Decent?” Carlie echoed. “Then how did he get such a reputation as a rogue?”

“Well,” Ianto conceded with a smirk, “he _is_ forward and flirtatious.” _Very much so._ “But remember what I told you earlier, don’t just try to put a label on him. Jack has strong principles and his own code of honour. I think he can be a very loyal ally, but also a terrible enemy if you happen to be on his bad side.” His words led him to another revelation, “I can only imagine that those principles were the reason that he felt the need to separate Torchwood Three from One, which may have been suggestive of him going rogue.”

Ianto did not even notice that he changed to calling the captain Jack, but Carlie did. Favouring him with a long, exploring look, she began to smile softly.

Following his train of thought, Ianto went on, “And I don’t think he ever sought the power and position he has attained in Torchwood. I think he would sooner shun it.”

“But he hasn’t.”

“No. In fact, I think he would fight to hold on to it despite himself.”

“Yet you say he’s a decent man.”

 Challenged like this, Ianto thought about what he based his opinion on and was confronted with a new insight, “He wouldn’t do it for the love of power. He seems almost above all that. He would do it because he really is the best qualified man for the job. He feels a sense of responsibility to this planet, a moral obligation to take on a task that all too often leaves him physically and emotionally exhausted, clinging to the end of his rope, rather than risk letting someone else cock it up and get people killed. He would do it because it puts him in the best position… to do good… to help people…”

_To play the big damn hero and save the whole bloody world. It’s like he’s trying to live up to some impossible standard and can’t stop fighting until he’s good enough for whoever set the bar. He must be so lonely._

Ianto’s thoughts ran away with him, but fortunately his words did not. Fond as Ianto was of Carlie, he did not think Jack would like him sharing his sudden revelation with her.

“Looks like he found a loyal friend,” Carlie murmured. “You’ll be careful, yes?”

Confusion filled Ianto for a moment until he understood what she meant.

“Oh, we’re not… I’m really just working for him, and when the archives are up to date I’ll go my own way.”

Once more, Carlie studied him closely.

“Right,” she said with a mysterious smile and got up. “Still… take care, Ianto.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied. “Good luck.”

 

tbc...


	29. Decommission - part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait... my computer crashed. :-(   
> Please, enjoy!

After seeing Ianto so disturbed and confused, Jack wracked his mind about how he could soothe him. _First I need to explain to him what I did. He needs to realize that I had no choice. He would have died._

The thought troubled him.

_I should've told him right away, but he was so upset already that it didn't seem advisable… and then he was gone._

As he strolled into the conference room, Jack heard the murmur that swept through the crowd as he passed. Being used to the unwanted attention, he ignored it, until he heard Ianto's name being mentioned. Before he could give the offending parties a piece of his mind, though, Ianto gave his short speech.

_Wow!_

It was all that came to Jack's mind at first. His gaze drifted from the Welshman's determined features over his straight posture to the small crowd. For a second, he was tempted to intervene when he heard the impertinent man's accusation, but he was even more impressed when he heard how Ianto handled the situation. A smirk cracked his features at the mention of Retcon.

_Empty threats, my dear boy?_ he chuckled to himself.

Jack was impressed.

_What did the Brig call you? Remarkable? He's got no idea._

With his eyes, he followed Ianto's motions. When Owen accompanied him to one of the partitions, Jack assured himself that Suzie was taking matters in hand and followed them. Unfortunately, a willowy blonde entered the cubicle before he could reach it. A low growl escaped him.

Following Suzie's presentation could not distract Jack for long. Stepping just a bit closer to the partition, he could hear what was said between Ianto and the woman. He knew he had seen her before and wracked his mind about who she was. At first their conversation was not that interesting, peripherally he heard Ianto explain about Retcon, but then the woman asked him about his boss.

At that, Jack pricked his ears.

_A good man, Ianto? That's so sweet of you._

Apparently the lady interpreted Ianto's assertion as a defence. Only when she mentioned that he saved her, too, Jack recalled that they met her in the Secure Archives. Just why she connected her rescue with him, he did not know. He had nothing to do with digging her out of the rubble after all.

Ianto's next words, though, hit his very core.

_Decent?_

It left Jack feeling like a huge question mark. Actually, he could better identify with 'ruthless', which Ianto used right in the same sentence. For Jack it was easier to believe when he was told ugly things, so he was not surprised when Carlie questioned Ianto's statement.

The following concession might have made him cringe if he could not clearly hear the amusement in Ianto's words, which allowed him scope for interpretation. His new team member did not just describe their work climate, he also delved in character exploration, trying to explain to Carlie how he saw Captain Jack Harkness.

_I'm sorry, Ianto, but you seem to mix something up there,_ Jack thought, feeling embarrassment warm his cheeks. He could not deny that he was deeply touched by Ianto's words, but that was not why he suddenly was totally choked up.

He felt like a fraud.

_I'm the wrong man to hero-worship, Ianto. Don't make the mistake of idealizing me just because I got you out of that ruddy conversion unit. I couldn't have cared less about you when we first got to London. Owen insisted, that's the only reason why I came to your aid. I had much more important things to do than caring for one of One's people._

Not for a second did he remember the moment they had met. Jack also conveniently blanked out what Ianto told Carlie about his ambiguous stance about the power and position he had attained in Torchwood. Solely focussed on the many times he had failed to meet the standards set for him, Jack neglected to acknowledge what he had achieved.

Suddenly realizing that Carlie was about to leave, Jack moved aside. He did not want her to think he had been eavesdropped… especially as he had. Thankfully, she did not notice him when she first left the cubicle and then the conference room.

Taking a deep breath, Jack tried to reign in his conflicting emotions, which proved to be rather futile. Right now, he wished for a hole to crawl into, so he could curl up into a ball, and wallow in misery. He did not deserve how Ianto stood up for him, and he certainly was not worthy of his faith and trust. He wanted to be, he really did, but that was a long way to go.

"How much did you hear?"

Totally caught by surprise, Jack's head whipped around at Ianto. Two clear blue eyes bore into him questioningly, which made him feel even worse.

"You weren't exactly inconspicuous," Ianto chuckled lowly. "If you want to talk, come in here."

"Sorry," Jack muttered sheepishly as he followed Ianto into the cubicle. "I didn't wa…"

"You're the boss, sir," Ianto cut him short, dropping into his chair. "If anyone has the right to observe the interviews, it's you."

Jack noticed at once, that his tone reverted back to professional.

"Was everything all right?" Ianto asked. "I didn't misinterpret what we agreed upon considering Retcon, did I?"

"No, not at all," Jack assured him, surprised that he even needed to ask. "You handled the interview in an exemplary manner." He paused, watching how Ianto tried not to fidget. "I just wanted to check on you. You went through a traumatic experience. If you want to know more…"

"Why did you have to take it away?" Ianto hissed with more venom than he had intended.

"I didn't _take_ _it away_ ," Jack calmly told him. "I stored it in the back of your mind and secured it there. To protect you."

For a moment, Ianto mulled over that.

"And if you hadn't done that?" he finally queried.

_Time to be honest with him._ Still Jack was scared of his possible reaction when he perched himself on the edge of the desk and murmured, "You might have died." Judging by how the colour drained from his features, Ianto did not expect it to have been potentially life threatening. "I don't want to go into the details, Ianto," Jack went on. "Trust me, please, when I say that I had no choice."

Ianto nodded.

"I _will_ help you to restore it if that's what you want… just give yourself some time to digest everything." Seeing Ianto worrying his bottom lip, he tried to explain, "In a couple of days you should feel better and we can give it a try. Very carefully, though. Steps forward, not back, right?"

Ianto nodded.

"Did you lose your voice?"

Ianto nodded.

"Now, that's a first, I think," Jack allowed himself a small smirk. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. You really miss it, yes?"

"Only now that it's gone," Ianto mumbled. "You'll help me get it back?"

This time it was Jack's turn to nod. "When you are ready."

"When?"

"As I said… we can look into it in a couple of days. You shouldn't stress yourself about it."

Thoughtfully, Ianto tried to read the signs of his body. "It's…" he started awkwardly, "like I suddenly went blind."

"I understand."

Ianto wanted to protest, but when he looked up at Jack he saw something in his features that stopped him. Once more, he became painfully aware of how much he had subconsciously depended on his empathic talent. Now he had to trust his other senses in order to figure out what he had previously sensed.

"You were magnificent."

Ianto's expression changed to confusion.

"Your speech," Jack elaborated. "It was brilliant."

At that, Ianto snorted dismissively. "No way. It was serving its purpose, though."

Stunned, Jack was not sure about what to reply at first and when he was about to answer, they were interrupted by Owen, "Hey, teaboy, is that your idea of taking a break?"

"You know," Jack growled, directing his anger at the convenient target, "I really don't like you calling him that."

If anything, Owen looked surprised.

"Don't bother, sir," Ianto sighed. "It's going in one ear and out the other."

"Yeah, well," Owen muttered, "just wanted to announce that we're ready for the interviews."

Releasing a long suffering moan, Ianto declared, "Fine with me."

"Owen," Jack turned to the medic who was about to leave, "I think you should sign him off sick."

Casting a sceptical look at Jack first and then at Ianto, Owen crossed his arms over his chest.

"Boss, I don't think that I would survive such an action."

Lucky for Owen, Jack was too stunned to stop him when he pivoted around and went to another cubicle. Beside him, Ianto chuckled.

"Owen's assumption's correct," he stated with wry amusement.

"You should be careful," Jack advised.

"I _am_ careful, sir."

"I'll stay and supervise the interview," Jack decided and left his perch to find a position behind Ianto where he leaned against the wall.

Ianto did not think that was necessary, but he did not complain. If something _did_ go wrong, the captain would be ready to help.

The first employee was easy to handle. He wanted nothing to do with Torchwood or UNIT anymore and decided to take the Retcon. Once they had completed the paperwork, Jack led him to the adjacent room where they had arranged a number of cots for the people who decided to forget the traumatic events to sleep off the amnesia drug.

Jack had not returned yet from administering the pill, when another man stepped into the cubicle. Ianto did not think that he ever saw him before, which reminded him once more of how big Torchwood One had been and just how many had died.

Gordon Weston accepted the documents without many words and began to fill in the form. Ianto was both relieved and disappointed that he did not want to chat. He was not surprised, though, when Gordon asked, "Is that really true about the Retcon?"

"Yes."

"Wouldn't have thought…" Gordon muttered.

"It was One's policy, actually," Ianto explained.

"Well," Gordon uneasily shifted in his chair, "I would've expected Captain Harkness to be even more strict."

"To guard against misunderstandings," Ianto told him earnestly, "That taking Retcon is voluntary doesn't mean you're free to spill information."

Gordon looked chastened. "He's not the forgiving type of a guy, huh?"

"Let's put it this way: I really wouldn't want to be in your place if you're violating the Official Secrets Act."

"Well, I was just asking," Gordon shrugged and returned his attention to the papers. As he signed, he muttered, "Actually, I'd rather want to be in your place."

"Why?" Ianto queried. "My employment at Three is only temporary."

A broad smirk spread on Gordon's features.

"Let's put it this way: The Captain's yummy and his reputation as a lover legendary. If I were you, I'd seize the chance."

Ianto could not help the blush that coloured his cheeks at the blunt remark.

"Or did you already?" Gordon prodded.

"That's none of your business," Ianto replied sternly.

"Okay, I get it. You didn't," Gordon warded off and pocketed his part of the papers. "Could you introduce us?"

Ianto's penetrating gaze was enough to silence Gordon. After an awkward moment, he bid his goodbyes. He had just left the cubicle, when Jack came back in.

"Thanks for scaring him away," the captain said.

Slowly, Ianto raised his astonished gaze at him.

"Really," Jack snorted lowly, leaning in to Ianto, "I don't sleep with anyone… or anything."

"I know, sir."

Jack pouted, straightening and crossing his arms over his chest, "Then why were you looking at me like that?"

"Because your remark seemed so ridiculous, sir," Ianto told him earnestly. Still, seeing Jack scowl, he added, "I mean, it's not as if you needed help scaring someone away." The flicker of hurt in Jack's eyes urged him to go on, "You can be pretty scary if the situation warrants it after all."

Placated, Jack's stance relaxed.

_Wow, he's really a piece of work,_ Ianto thought and was grateful that the captain appeared to be more open around him than he was toward other people. In situations like this, he already missed his uncanny ability to read his opposite.

"You'll get it back," Jack murmured as he took position behind him again. "Well, actually, it's not gone. You still get the input, but you can't receive it right now. That's what I blocked in order to protect you."

"I see."

Unfortunately, Ianto saw something else as well, or better someone else. The man who entered his cubicle now was the one who had challenged him during his speech earlier. His crooked grin alarmed him at once, and on the periphery of his vision, he saw Jack step up beside the desk, ready to intervene if necessary.

"How protective of you, Captain," the man sneered. "Probably should've shown that trait before everything went to hell here."

"I did and was kicked in the ass for it," Jack shot back.

One look at his boss was enough to make Ianto's skin crawl. This man definitely was on the captain's bad side and only a wrong word shy of experiencing his ruthlessness.

"You're still Torchwood! Where were you? You should've helped us instead of riding it out, safe in Cardiff!"

Ianto shivered as he heard the man talk like that. Jack's expression had turned stony, but Ianto could imagine that he was boiling inside. He probably was only holding back because they were not on their own.

"The ruddy Cybermen should've killed you," the man declared, his voice full of loathing, "and your little pet there right with you."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Ianto was so shocked that he hardly could follow what happened as horrifying memories pushed back into his consciousness.

Jack heard him gasp, which quickly turned his focus on Ianto.

"Are you all right?"

"Y-ye-yeah," Ianto stuttered, feeling anything but all right. A storm of pictures flew through his mind, memories and emotions, robbing his breath.

Seeing his obvious distress, though, Jack's rage boiled over. "Owen!" Grabbing the man by the lapel of his jacket, he hauled him out of his chair and around the desk to shove him into the wall. At first, the man was too shocked to defend himself, but when he began to struggle, Jack reacted like he would to any threat: he drew his gun.

"Boss," Owen hissed, as he strode past Jack to where Ianto was leaning forward in his chair, breathing hard. At once, the medic recognized the anxiety attack and ordered his patient to keep his head down and to try and control his breathing, murmuring to him as he felt for the pulse that was racing under his touch.

Watching anxiously, Jack kept the man pressed against the wall, his weapon loosely in his right hand. He hated that Ianto had once more been hurt, especially as this was absolutely unnecessary. Automatically, his grip on the other man tightened.

"That's it, mate," Owen muttered, rubbing soothing circles on Ianto's back while his other hand now rested on the back of his head, thumb stroking calmingly. "You're safe. Just try and relax."

"T-t-trying," Ianto croaked.

"Well, try a little harder," Owen teased, giving a reassuring nod to Jack.

The captain did not consider himself assured, though. Feeling the urge to do something for Ianto, he found a better hold on the man, pushing his Webley under the other's chin, and spat, "Apologize!"

Shocked, the man lost what remained of his colour and choked on his answer, "Sorry, Captain."

Grunting with fury, Jack got into his face, emphasizing his demand with a push of the barrel, "Not to me, you oaf!"

Swallowing his anxiety and pride, the man cleared his throat and honestly attempted, "Hey, look, mate, I'm sorry for what I said."

"His name's Jones," Jack hissed. "Do it properly."

Confronted with Jack's wrath, the man gathered his courage and said, "Mr. Jones, please accept my apology for my rude behaviour."

"Apology accepted," Ianto replied, casting a stern look at the captain as he did not approve of his methods.

Without letting go of the man, Jack holstered his weapon and snatched a set of papers off the desk.

"You're privileged," he snarled as he shoved his captive toward the door to the adjacent room, "I'll take your debrief personally."

"Jack, no!" Ianto called weakly from where he still slumped in his chair, harbouring well founded suspicions about the captain's intentions. "He has every right to be angry, maybe not at us, but at Torchwood."

Jack glanced from the man to Ianto and back. They were both pale and shaken, but where the man's expression had gone from twisted with hatred to frozen in terror, Ianto's visage showed nothing but compassion.

"If he's so angry, he can't be trusted," Jack argued, deducing easily why Ianto was annoyed with him.

"He's kept his oath so far," Ianto went on. "He can be angry and still honour that promise. You have no right to take his memories just because you don't like what he has to say. As the leader of Torchwood, you don't _have_ to explain yourself to anyone, but under the circumstances, it might help more than waving your gun in his face."

Both chastened as well as upset at being caught out, Jack glowered at Ianto.

"I'll keep it in mind," he finally grunted and dragged the man with him.

Ianto was about to follow, but Owen shoved him back into the chair.

"You'll stay put, teaboy," the medic grunted.

"I'm fine, Owen."

"You're fine when I tell you you're fine," Owen grumbled. "I don't intend to be on the wrong side of Jack's wrath, so I'm gonna make sure you're recovering."

"Stop pretending you care," Ianto told him flatly and straightened in his chair, "and let me do my job."

"No way, teaboy!" Owen shot back. "My job now. Who's next?" he called out and this time a lady entered the cubicle.

For a short while, Ianto watched Owen handle the interview. Listening in was next to impossible, though, as he could not focus on anything but his worries about Jack going too far, forcing the survivor to take Retcon and steal his memories. Even as exhausted as he was, Ianto could not manage to sit and wait. When Owen leaned over to show the lady something on the documents, Ianto got up and snuck into the other room.

Seeing the captain stand over a cot, the form of the man curled up under a blanket, Ianto lost it.

"What the hell did you do?" he frayed, striding over to his boss. "I can't believe you did that!"

Jack opened his mouth to reply, but Ianto did not leave him the chance, his fist flying and punching the captain's chin. Shocked, Jack tumbled back. He did not know what to say and rubbed his smarting jaw. Only when Ianto had already stormed out of the room, Jack shook off his rigour.

"Ianto!" he took off in pursuit, but ran into Owen. "Get out of my way!"

"No."

"No?" Jack thundered. "Stand back!"

"I don't think so," Owen remained steadfast, shifting his position when Jack tried to step around him. "You've done enough damage. Leave him be."

"But…"

"My official statement as your medical officer," Owen cut him short. "As requested, he's on sick leave."

"I… We need to make sure he's all right," Jack helplessly muttered. He felt crestfallen, once more having failed colossally. _Can't I do anything right?_

"Which would be _my_ job as his attending physician," Owen insisted.

"What are you waiting for then?" Jack snapped, reflecting his distress as anger.

"We need to give him some space, Jack!"

"What happened anyway?" Toshiko asked, stepping up beside them after bidding another survivor goodbye.

"Ianto's gone," Jack grunted more aggressively than was appropriate, "and Owen stopped me from following him."

"Because your over protectiveness is choking him," Owen hissed in order to avoid being overheard by the remaining employees. "He needs space to deal with his loss. I'll check on him later."

"What if it's too late then?" Jack challenged. "He's distressed! You have no idea what he went through earlier!"

"I got a pretty good impression," Owen argued. "I know an anxiety attack when I see one!"

"One more reason to have an eye on him, don't you think?"

"Just think it shouldn't be your eye!"

As the men continued to shout at each other, Toshiko fished her mobile out of her bag and sent a message. It did not take long until her own phone announced an incoming text. Reading it eased her worries.

"Time out!" she called, holding up a hand between Jack and Owen. "Look at this."

Both men glowered at each other for a few seconds longer before they turned to Toshiko and read what her phone displayed, 'I'm okay. Will call later'.

"I seriously doubt he's _okay_ ," Jack huffed.

"Probably not," Toshiko agreed, "but he's aware enough to reply immediately."

"He might be stalling," Jack objected. "What if he…," he searched for words to express the unthinkable.

"He won't," both Owen and Toshiko told him in unison.

"Remember what he has endured, Jack," Owen added, "He won't top himself now."

_True._

Still feeling the urge to argue, Jack turned away. He could not just switch off his worries. He had been inside Ianto's mind and thought that he knew more about him than the medic did. On the other hand, Owen had spent long hours watching over the young man while he was stuck in the conversion unit and developed a sense for him as well. The friendship he saw blossoming between Ianto and his computer expert enabled Toshiko to assess his current mental condition.

_Should I put my own concerns aside and trust Tosh and Owen? I was wrong about so many things recently._

The thought sat in his stomach like a millstone, slowly grinding up his self-esteem. Or what was left of it anyway. Over the years it had suffered frequently, especially during the Cyber-crisis and its aftermath.

All of a sudden, the conference room seemed to shrink. Jack could not breathe, feeling oppressed by the others' presence. Shivers coursed through his body and he felt slightly nauseous.

_Out!_

"Jack?" Toshiko shouted after him as he quickly strode out of the conference room. She was about to follow him when Suzie called her back.

"We have to finish those debriefings," Suzie declared. "He'll be back."

"He didn't look like he intended to come back," Owen stated wryly.

"Well, we don't need him to complete decommissioning One's survivors," Suzie told him sternly. "Get back to work."

Reluctantly, Toshiko and Owen obeyed her command.

tbc…


	30. Fallout

Unfortunately, Owen turned out to be right. Jack did not return and neither did Ianto. Between Toshiko, Suzie and him, debriefing the survivors seemed to take forever. UNIT could not help them with the interviews as they needed to cover confidential subjects. A few soldiers stayed with the survivors, though, especially with those who chose to take the Retcon and were sleeping it off, and in another conference room those who chose to go to UNIT could talk about their applications.

Owen had just finished the paperwork with the last person in his queue, when a scream disrupted his concluding words. Alarmed by the sounds of terror, the medic darted into the adjacent room to find a man flailing on his cot, trying to defend himself against an attacker only he could see.

"Hey!" Owen called with his soothing doctor's voice as he stopped beside the other and tried to catch his waving hands. "Easy mate! It's a nightmare. Just a bad dream. Calm down…"

While he kept talking to the agitated man, he managed to still him and gradually the man's breathing eased as well.

"That's it," Owen muttered. "You're safe."

"N-n-not safe."

"Now you are," Owen assured him firmly.

"C-c-cybermen…" he stuttered, his voice shaking with terror.

"It was just a dream," Owen tried to convince him. "The Cybermen are gone for good."

With still contorted features, the man looked up at Owen. One's former employee took the wind out of the medic's sails, though, when he plaintively accused, "You turned your back on us."

"We didn't!" Owen shot back, with righteous anger. Choking it down, he explained somewhat calmer, "We had our hands full with Cybermen materializing inside our base! We fought for our lives just as you did in London!"

Seeing the man's obvious distress, Owen felt bad for his outburst, but at the same time annoyance threatened to overwhelm him.

"Why didn't you help us?"

"I get what you're saying, mate," Owen tried to calm him, "but you don't know what was happening in Cardiff. After the Cyberinvasion the Rift was spewing out all kinds of chaos, not to mention an alien ocean, complete with a giant octopus, and our boss was dealing with all that alone in the field, supported only by two police constables he temporarily recruited, while our computer expert observed the Rift to warn him of anything that came through."

"I had no idea…" the man said hoarsely.

Owen could see that he was still halfway caught in the throes of his nightmare, but he was willing to listen now.

"There was no way you could know what Captain Harkness had to contend with alone because he sent half of his staff to London. I was here at Canary Wharf only hours after the Cybermen were gone and worked with UNIT to secure the tower. I wish we could've done more, but there was nothing we could do. Nothing…"

Exasperated, Owen trailed off.

"You are safe now," the medic assured the man. "And we're taking care of you."

"Really?" the survivor queried with obvious disbelief. Owen's nod did little to calm him. "I'm so sorry, for everything. I know I've behaved badly, but… man, I haven't been able to sleep for days. I… just can't think straight."

"For how long exactly?" Owen asked, switching to doctor mode.

"Since the invasion."

Now that was definitely too long.

"Look… would the Retcon take away the nightmares?"

"Probably," Owen shrugged. Nobody could tell for sure.

"What if it doesn't?" the man asked fearfully. "I mean, at least now, I know why I'm having them. If I lose my memories… Knowing it was real is the only thing keeping me from going mad!"

"Well, we could provide you with counselling and see how it goes," Owen suggested. Apparently that idea was not convincing. "Or you could take the Retcon now if it's too much for you, and we can assign a counsellor to help reinforce the story we give you to cover the gap in your memory and explain the dreams."

"That's possible?" the man asked insecurely, a stark contrast to his earlier behaviour.

"Sure," Owen nodded. "There are a lot of ways we can work this. The point is, we're not going to abandon you."

All the tension seemed to bleed out of the man and he slumped on the cot with a sigh.

"Thank you," he breathed.

"You're welcome," Owen replied and it was heartfelt.

"I don't want to forget," the man murmured to himself. "Someone has to remember, don't you think?"

"Right," Owen nodded.

"Can I stay some more?"

"Sure. Do you want something to help you sleep?"

"No Retcon…"

"No, of course not," Owen assured him. "I'll be right back."

Nodding at him encouragingly, the doctor went to get the medicine.

xXx

Jack did not really know how he got to be into this small Tesco, perusing the paltry selection of booze, and he did not care. He did not stop to think about what he was doing and went to the checkout with four bottles of the strongest stuff on the shelf. Right now he did not care about quality but quantity.

_I wanted to go back to Cardiff._

He stood, waiting to be able to pay and get the hell out of there.

_Just what the hell do I want in Cardiff? What's keeping me there?_

Nothing.

All Jack felt within himself was an aching emptiness. He paid for his purchase and opened the first bottle on his way to the SUV that he had parked in a side street.

_I'm such an idiot. Why was I even surprised that Ianto assumed the worst? I gave him every reason to presume I retconned the man against his will._

The hard liquor was awful, which was perfect for its purpose.

_Reminds me of moonshine. Oh, prohibition times, lots of alcohol and Charleston dancing at the speakeasies. Easy to get pissed and fall into bed with a stranger._ _Went blind once, from bad booze, but that particular bootlegger never made another batch, did he?_

A bitter laugh escaped him as he opened the driver's door and scooted into the seat, placing the bottles on the passenger's seat.

_No wonder Ianto thinks the worst of me. No second chances with me, are there? I'm a ruthless bastard._

Drinking once more, he started the engine. It hummed away while he stared into vacant space, taking another swallow frequently. The stuff really was terrible, but that did not bother him.

_Wasting good whiskey would be a crime. Would take way too long anyway._

Realizing that he was wasting fuel as well, Jack killed the engine.

_Kill the engine, yeah. What an expression. Kill…_

His thoughts trailed off on that word and he spoke it to himself, tasting its sound and its feel. His gaze still was unfocused and it did not get better with more drinking. With a sigh he closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

At some point later he opened his eyes and realized that the buildings cast long shadows.

 _It's getting late. The others should be finished by now, and mad as hell at me for abandoning them._ He snorted. _Not the only time I let them down. Almost got them killed. I, of all people, should've known better. Ghosts my ass! I should've known they weren't harmless! If I had listened to my gut, none of that crap would've happened!_

At that Jack started.

_I wouldn't have met Ianto._

That thought caused a lump in his throat and had him lift the bottle again. His mobile phone chirping made him pause. Hearing Suzie's ring tone, though, he ignored it and took a big gulp.

_Not achieving anything yet._

Another series of beeps alerted him of an incoming text message. Hoping against hope that it came from Ianto, Jack checked and saw that it was from Suzie. They had wrapped up the meeting and were ready to head home, asking where he was and if he would come with them.

_Home._

The idea made his whole being ache. Home was a distant memory, a sentient ship a long time ago in the future.

_Are they going to pick up Ianto?_

The question sat heavily in his stomach, drowning in cheap liquor. As he did not want to call Suzie to ask, he dialled Ianto's number instead.

The call went to voice mail. Hearing Ianto's deep voice on his recorded message, made Jack shiver.

_You're not into communicating with anyone yet, huh?_

So instead he texted, 'We should think about heading back to Cardiff.'

Strangely, Jack's heart began to thump in his chest as he waited for a reply. When it finally came, he read, 'You go on. Don't let me hold you up.'

Now his heart skipped a beat.

'You are coming back, right?' Jack typed into the device, hesitated, and erased the message to replace it with, 'We should talk before I go.'

Impatiently Jack waited five minutes for a reply.

'Ianto?'

Another ten minutes later he had to accept that Ianto was ignoring him. Jack dialled Ianto's number, but hesitated to send the call. He sincerely doubted Ianto wanted to talk to him right now.

 _It's like taking a date to a party,_ he told himself, trying to convince himself that he should try. _Even if you have a fight, you don't leave without making sure your date has safe passage home._

He frowned at the thought and from his subconscious he could hear a reprimanding voice that, strangely, sounded like Mickey Smith's.

'Except he's not your date. He's not even interested in being your date, and it definitely isn't a party.' His internal dialogue became even weirder when the Doctor piped up, 'You were here to decommission twenty-seven survivors out of a workforce of over eight hundred, and you made a mess of things. It was supposed to be a nice little memorial service and a bit of paperwork, but they made fun of Ianto because of you and then you gave him a panic attack. No wonder he walked out on you.'

He killed the call before he ever sent it, hearing Mickey jeer him, 'Ianto's a grown man. He'll find his own way back to Cardiff, if he decides to return. He sure as hell doesn't want to ride back in the same car with you after what you did today.'

"That's none of your business!" Jack groaned, starting the motor. He had to get away from here.

'Sure it is,' Mickey shot back. 'Gotta try and prevent you from killing anyone else.'

"What?" Jack gasped, "What are you talking about?" He could feel the other man's gaze drilling into him, which made him wonder even more whom he was talking about.

"Well, for one thing… she was MY girl and she died because of you, Captain Cheesecake!"

Jack felt a sudden pang as the scales fell from his eyes,

"Rose!"

Of them all, Mickey had loved Rose Tyler first, so it should not come as a surprise to him that his subconscious took on Mickey's voice to accuse him of getting her killed at Canary Wharf. When Jack had met the Brigadier earlier this week, he had looked at the lists UNIT had compiled of the casualties. Feeling the pressing urge for certainty he had glanced over the names more than reluctantly in search for those that he knew.

Jacqueline Andrea Suzette Tyler; missing; presumed dead

RosE Georgiana Jacqueline Tyler; missing; presumed dead

Jack had choked at finding those two names and quickly returned to the current issues they were discussing.

Now the disturbing information pushed to the forefront of his mind…

…and was blown away by a horn honking in protest when the SUV drifted to the wrong side of the street. Jack had been so deep in thought that he did not even realize he was driving on autopilot. Swiftly he pulled his car back to the left.

_I need to get away from here!_

He did not necessarily mean the road he was travelling. If possible, he would have left the planet altogether and returned to the stars. Instead he found his way to a less populated street. Driving through dark and empty alleys, he stopped at a random place, took the bottles, and entered the building to his right. He climbed up to the roof where he started to put considerably more effort into getting drunk.

 _You should always be ready for volcano day,_ a tiny voice whispered in the back of his mind, sounding a note of caution. Bitterness pushed it to the side and more alcohol silenced it.

_Rose!_

Two more gulps of hard liquor could not quench the pain spreading from within. There was the slightest chance that Rose escaped the tower together with the Doctor, but just the mere possibility was not enough to make Jack believe she might still be alive.

 _That she was not found does not mean she got away with him,_ Jack mused. _She could've fallen victim to the emergency upgrades, but it's even more likely that the Daleks killed her. Rose was in the sphere chamber when the void ship opened after all. Confronted by three Daleks… I know only too well how that feels._

Having convinced himself that his beloved Rose was dead, Jack downed more liquor and tossed the empty bottle aside.

_One down, three more to go._

With big gulps, Jack emptied about one third of the second bottle.

 _Doesn't work yet,_ he thought as he padded over to the edge of the roof. Even though he had not heard a ring tone, he pulled out his mobile phone to check if he got any new messages.

_Zero._

A breeze ruffled his hair and caught in his coat, making it swing around him. Urged by the elements, Jack stepped forward. _One inch more…_ Below him the depths of the dark alley beckoned him. The fall would embrace him with the oblivion he craved.

_They're doing right to ignore me. I'm good for nothing. Just a fraud that perfected the art of cozying up to people, flirting and conning my way through the galaxy. I should never have escaped that Chula ship. It was Rose with her soft heart and big eyes who convinced the Doctor to save me. Now look what her compassion earned her: death by Daleks._

His wordless scream shattered the silence of the falling night and another empty bottle smashed against a brick wall. Unnoticed by Jack, his phone slipped out of his other hand with the same motion.

_Which demon brought me back anyway? If travelling with the Doctor was my final reprieve, then dying on the Gamestation was my destiny. There my death at least served a purpose. Which cruel entity condemned me to live this perpetual life, an abomination, a freak of nature?_

Not for the first time Jack quarrelled with his warped existence.

_It must be my punishment for everything I've ever done wrong. I always thought that what the Time Agency did to me was horrible, but this is so much worse. My failures are coming back to haunt me. Losing Gray. Going rogue, though I still think it was justified. Almost wiping humanity from existence by releasing the Chula nanogenes. All the mistakes I made working for Torchwood. Allowing the Institute to pave the way for the Cybermen. Ultimately getting Rose killed…_

_No wonder the Doctor left me behind. I'm impossible to bear. He should have ignored Rose and let me die on that Chula ship._

Once more he drank, downing the burning alcohol like water.

_How can I dare waiting for him? Why would he ever talk to me again, let alone answer my questions. I'm not worth the dirt under his fingernails, least of all his understanding or, even worse, his forgiveness._

Hearing his phone chirp, Jack whipped around in search of it. The sudden motion overbalanced him, which made him stumble sideways. Stepping onto a length of pipe, he lost his equilibrium as it rolled beneath his shoe, giving him a momentum that made him stagger forward and fall into a heap of debris.

"Aaarghhh…..!"

His scream died away as his lung deflated, pierced by a metal piece of scrap that he fell on. It speared him right in his chest. His breathing rattling, Jack stared incredulously at the thing he impaled himself on.

_Of all the ways to go, impaling myself was not on the list._

Trying in vain to push himself far enough up to get off the spear, Jack fought a futile fight. Peripherally he realized that his phone was still ringing and looked for it once again, spotting it just about a yard away. With growing horror, he recognized the caller ID.

_Ianto._

Closing his eyes, Jack gave in and sent a prayer to whatever deity that might take pity on him, asking for this death to stick.

xXx

When nobody answered his call, Ianto snapped his mobile phone shut. He had only found Jack's messages when he switched it back on after leaving the hospital where he had visited with fireman Jeffreys. Ever since the man had been injured while trying to get him out of the conversion unit, Ianto had wanted to check on him and now had seemed to be the perfect opportunity. They had talked for a short while before Jeffreys got too tired, which was Ianto's cue to leave.

_What now?_

A part of him regretted running from the meeting, but another part was glad that he could escape for a while. He needed time to think. Properly.

_Even as I stormed out onto the street, I knew I was wrong. Instead of asking what had happened, I just assumed the worst, jumping to conclusions and getting angry with the captain for forcibly retconning the man who had insulted me._

_I can't go back, though. I can't spend another minute inside that hotel, near Torchwood. Away, just away…_

First he stopped at a grocery store, though, to get some food and other necessities. Going shopping felt surreal. It was so normal that it appeared unreal. In a trance he moved through the aisles.

_I've got to stop!_

Ianto was not sure what exactly he meant, but he knew that he could not continue like this. So he stopped right in the middle of the aisle and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Slowly he released the air. As he still was tense he repeated it twice. When he opened his eyes, he was determined to choose his dinner deliberately.

Once he decided to have fish, Ianto picked a piece carefully before he returned to the shelves with vegetables. In his mind's eye he saw a dish he once had at a Greek restaurant, with fried fish served with sweet pepper, onion, and zucchini. He was not sure if there were mushrooms as well and chose to take those for Sunday.

_What did they have for a side dish? Something with potatoes, scalloped, I think, with a thick, creamy sauce with feta cheese._

The simple task of gathering the ingredients soothed Ianto's frayed nerves and gave him new purpose. He put some more vegetables and a few things for breakfast into his trolley and headed to the checkout.

When Ianto finally dragged himself into his apartment, he sat his bags down at the kitchen door and scuffled into the living room where he dropped onto the sofa.

_How can something as ordinary as going shopping be so exhausting?_

Of course he knew that it was not his shopping trip that had drained all his energy. The day had been long and eventful, and as Ianto reflected on all the events, he felt like a whole week had passed in just a few hours.

His gaze drifted around the living room that felt as familiar as it was strange to him now that it was only filled with memories instead of Lisa in flesh and blood. He could almost see her standing by the shelf, hear her talking to him, her laughter echoing from his memory.

Alarmed by his growling stomach, Ianto pushed himself up and went over to the kitchen, picking up the bags on his way. After unpacking everything, he quickly changed into casual clothes before he started to work on his dinner. He had missed this. It was not like he often got the opportunity to cook before, but the bedsit in Cardiff was too small and lacked a proper kitchenette. Preparing the food became meditative, up to the point of Ianto being astonished when the finished meal stood in front of him.

A second plate on the other side of the kitchen table.

For a minute or two, Ianto stared at the carefully arranged dish that would never be touched. A lump formed in his throat. Lisa would not come to join him, neither in the next few minutes nor ever again.

'Why don't you eat?'

Her question startled him. She was not there. Could not be there. Her voice an echo from his memory.

'You need to eat, love,' Lisa said. 'This looks too bloody good to go to waste.'

"I can't," he murmured, putting his cutlery down.

'Oh, but you will,' she scolded gently. 'It's bad enough that I can't taste it, because it looks delicious. I won't allow you to throw all of it away. Besides, you need the energy.'

"I don't need any…"

'Nonsense!' Lisa cut him short. 'I knew what I was doing, and I didn't sacrifice myself for you to wallow in grief now instead of doing something significant with your life.'

"I'm not ready yet," he meekly defended himself.

'You know that I trust you, don't you?' Lisa went on. 'I understand your grief. Don't use it as an excuse to avoid life, though. Okay?'

"I won't. Just give me some time."

Finding himself unable to eat what he had prepared, Ianto got up and went to the bathroom. He used the toilet and washed his hands. Then he stood at the washing bowl and stared at his reflection in the mirror.

_I should eat._

Back at the kitchen table he could not bring himself to touch his meal, though.

_I should put her plate away. What a waste. I can't throw it away, but it's too much for one._

With a sigh he sat down and racked his mind about what to do with the excess food. In the end he pulled out his mobile.

tbc…


	31. Crisis dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, I need to say that I'm glad that you're still with the story. Sorry for the delay! Changes in real life have slowed us down and I'm looking for a BETA READER, as Mandassina just can't keep up with everything right now. We're currently working on wrapping this story up, then we'll see how it's going (I'd love to return to a story I once started on FFN, "Odyssey" that is rather long and needs rewriting, polishing, and finishing). Please let me know if you could imagine supporting me with grammar and finding/resolving awkward sentences. Enjoy!

Gasping back to life, Jack found himself lying prone in a heap of debris, a sharp, pointed piece of metal buried deeply in his chest.

_I need to get off before shock and blood loss kill me again._

Freeing himself took a considerable effort as he lacked the strength to just push and stand up. As it was, he struggled for a good hold on the debris beneath him in order to even try and lift his weight. Gritting his teeth, Jack groaned with the excruciating pain as he felt the object slide out of his flesh. With a slick sound he came loose and rolled to the side where he came to rest on his back, staring up at the dark sky. Dark clouds reflected the lights of the city, which was the last thing Jack became aware of before he closed his eyes. With reopening the wound he lost a lot of blood and he felt his senses dwindle.

_If it won't stick, I can call Ianto back._

With that wryly pleasant thought, he died again.

xXx

Ianto could not really tell why he was so anxious about calling Toshiko. She had always been nice to him. He even felt like a friendship was developing between them. Still his anxiety knotted up his insides when he dialled her mobile number.

'Hello, Ianto,' she greeted as she picked up. 'Thanks for calling.'

"I promised, didn't I?" he replied. He could hear how she tried to sound cheerful despite her tiredness.

'Are you feeling a bit better now?' Toshiko asked.

"Yes, a little," he assured her. "I was about to eat when I realized that I forgot about Benny and the others…"

'Oh, don't worry,' she interrupted him. 'I will check on them as soon as we're back in Cardiff.'

Ianto breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Tosh. That takes a load off my mind."

'No problem, Ianto,' she insisted. 'The main thing is that you're feeling better.'

"I'm getting there."

A pause spread between them, but strangely it did not become awkward. When Toshiko broke the silence she softly asked, 'Will you be back tomorrow?'

The way she pronounced the end of her question told Ianto that she was carefully trying to ask for more than just the time of his return, and he took a moment to think about it.

"I'd be grateful if you could take care of them tomorrow, too," he finally told her.

'Take as long as you need, Ianto,' Toshiko readily replied. 'Don't feel pressured. I'll make sure your pets are well provided.'

"I really appreciate that, Tosh." He paused before he carefully added, "I'm sorry for running away. It just was… too much."

'That's okay,' Toshiko tried to reassure him. 'We understand that. Really.'

"I don't know how to explain it all to Jack. He just tried to help and I took it so wrong… no, I _did_ him wrong."

'Simply tell him that, Ianto. I'm sure he'll understand, too.'

"I'm not so sure it's that simple," Ianto murmured. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

'Sure. Take care!'

"You, too. Bye."

'Bye.'

The line disconnected, but a long moment passed until Ianto lowered his phone. Numbly he stared ahead.

_Maybe I should call Jack. At least tell him that I'm home and that he needs to give me some space._

He lifted his phone to find Jack's number, but by the time it dialled, he changed his mind and disconnected the call. Knowing what was right and doing it were two different pairs of shoes. Right now, he was too much in an uproar to deal with the captain.

As he sat there quietly, the silence became oppressive, and Ianto realized that he still had not solved the problem with the excess food. His own stomach was grumbling audibly by now, but somehow he did not feel like eating anymore. Looking at the fish and vegetables made his insides roll and he got up to go to the bathroom.

Only a few steps along, Ianto became dizzy. It came out of the blue, leaving him panting and searching for a hold on the doorframe. As he missed, though, he stumbled into the corridor where he ran into the opposite wall. Slowly, still feeling nauseous, he sank to the floor. His pulse was thumping at the base of his neck and there was a tickling on his skull, like goosebumps yet different.

Scared, Ianto searched for his mobile. He did not think about who to call and just pressed redialling. The numbers blurred as he was hit by another surge of dizziness, which made him feel like he was going to black out.

xXx

Air burning in his lungs, Jack struggled to regain his senses. Darkness still enveloped him and it took a long while until he realized that it was night. The breeze sweeping over the rooftop chilled him. His limbs were heavy when he made an effort to roll around and sit up. A few minutes of rest allowed him to recover enough to start another attempt to get up. This time, he was successful, and leaning far sideways, he picked up his phone.

 _He's called back!_ Jack thought with cautious elation.

Listening to the distressed sounds on his voicemail, though, sobered Jack up thoroughly. As quickly as he could manage, he scrambled to his feet and found his way to the stairs. Twice he almost rolled down the stairs head first as he was not fully recovered yet and stumbled over his own feet. Refusing to be discouraged, Jack loped over to the SUV and started the engine.

When he reached his destination, climbing the stairs to Ianto's flat did not exhaust him that much anymore. Nobody reacted to the ringing bell. Swearing, Jack patted his pockets in search of his lock pick. Thankfully, he did not need long to open the door.

Upon entering the hall, he was greeted by a pitiful sight.

"Ianto!"

Rushing to the young man's side, Jack knelt beside him and carefully reached out to feel for his pulse. As he gently touched his neck, Ianto whimpered.

"Shhh," Jack murmured. "Easy… I'm here to help. You're safe, Ianto…"

Continuing to mutter soothing nonsense, Jack brushed some hair off Ianto's forehead that was clammy with cold sweat. The young Welshman shivered and panted, and his pulse thumped frantically against Jack's fingertip.

_Bet his blood pressure's soaring as well._

Jack was no doctor, but as he had seen them earlier, he recognized the signs of a heavy panic attack. Ianto's physical symptoms were an expression of his inner uproar, and as a result they caused even more panic as they scared the crap out of him.

Deciding that he needed to do more to be of any help, Jack shed his greatcoat to take off his torn shirts that were sticky with drying blood. Quickly, he swiped over his chest before he shrugged the coat back on. Then he sat down beside Ianto. Leaning with his back against the wall, Jack carefully manoeuvred Ianto to rest against him. Gently, he guided him to lean his head against his shoulder and put one palm on his forehead. All the while, he kept murmuring to him.

Gradually, Jack felt Ianto relax, but he still did not move. He knew that he had to give the troubled young man the time he needed to return from the dark place his mind was trapped in. Ianto's soul was hurting and all Jack could do was to offer comfort and to hope that it would be accepted.

When he ran out of nonsense, Jack found himself humming a lullaby that he had thought he had long forgotten. With the once familiar melody a memory returned to him of a gentle woman who sang to him. His mother. With this song she had soothed many hurts and eased his mind when he could not find sleep. Now he used it himself and a warm glow of nostalgia and love flooded him.

Suddenly, he felt Ianto lean deeper into his hold.

A smile cracked Jack's features. He waited another moment before he carefully tightened his hold and awkwardly got to his feet to take Ianto with him. He went the few steps into the living room where he sat down on the sofa, leaning into the corner. Ianto was comfortable in his embrace as he resumed singing.

"Where's the Boeshane Peninsula?"

Jack started.

_Trust Ianto to focus on the seemingly trivial details! I wasn't even aware I mentioned it!_

His chances of getting away with a lie dwindled with every passing second.

"I know my geography, Captain," Ianto murmured against his shoulder. "I don't recall having read about a Boeshane Peninsula."

"Well, it's a rather small peninsula in the north of Washington State."

"Aren't we past that stage?" Ianto sighed, extricating himself from Jack's hold and sitting up beside him. "Tell me the truth."

Realizing how much Ianto had already learned about his past, Jack became aware of how silly he was and a sheepish grin cracked his features.

"I'm so used to covering up my tracks," he shrugged. "How good's your astronomy?"

"Not that good, actually," Ianto admitted. "So Boeshane is out there?"

"Yes," Jack confirmed. "A small planet in the Kovala system. One of many human colonies."

Nodding, Ianto accepted his explanation. Knowing that Jack once travelled with the Doctor, he came to the conclusion, "I take it you're from the future then."

"Yeah."

"Ever thought about telling the others about it?" Ianto casually went on.

Jack shook his head.

"You don't trust them?"

"I _do_ trust all of them," Jack pouted. "But… well, let's say things get complicated when people know more about me."

Focussing on the captain, Ianto had to rely on pure instinct to guess what might be on his mind. Still he believed to have a good idea of what it could be.

"They take you for granted."

A chill ran down Jack's spine at hearing Ianto's solemn tone, knowing without a doubt that he meant his immortality.

"I've been sent on suicide missions more than once." Running a hand through his hair, Jack heaved a sigh. "It's somewhat easier when I volunteer."

"I get that," Ianto softly said.

Before the situation could get even more awkward, the men were interrupted by a clearly audible grumbling of Ianto's stomach.

"Sounds like someone's hungry," Jack teased, glad that they could change the subject. "When did you last eat?"

Ianto shrugged. "Don't recall. Which day is it?"

"Really?"

"Nah, I had breakfast," Ianto chuckled humourlessly. "I was about to eat tonight when… well, that was when I… um, collapsed."

"What happened?" Jack carefully asked.

A soft red glow of embarrassment coloured Ianto's cheeks.

"I made dinner for two."

"I see," Jack murmured, reaching for Ianto's hand and brushing his thumb over its back repeatedly.

"I miss her."

Cupping Ianto's cheek with his free hand, Jack softly told him, "I know." He wished he could take his pain away, but all he could do was be there.

For a long moment, Ianto just sat like that, allowing Jack to gently caress him. Unshed tears glistened in his eyes at first but they never fell. He just held Jack's gaze and concentrated on his breathing. When he felt strong enough to get up, he slowly turned his head and breathed a kiss on Jack's palm.

Then he used the moment of astonishment to get up and a few steps away from the sofa.

"Do you like fish?" Ianto asked. "It would be a pity to let it go to waste."

"I love fish," Jack beamed, delighted to see some energy return to the younger man. "Now that you mention it… it still smells good."

"All right. I'll heat it up again."

"And I'll go to the bathroom," Jack declared, "to freshen up a bit."

"All right."

Ianto went to the kitchen and was about to gather up the plates when he became aware of the fact that he should wash his hands and face. While he cleaned himself he realized with wonder that it was a small miracle that Jack had held him like he did.

_That snot is disgusting._

A shudder passed through him and he had to force himself to focus on the task at hand. As he would not fit both plates into the microwave, Ianto put the still untouched vegetables into a bowl that he microwaved, while fish and potatoes went into two casseroles that he placed in the oven. From next door, he heard the flush of the toilet.

As the food was not quite warm enough yet, Ianto decided to go and change into another sweater. Standing in front of his wardrobe, he changed his mind and shrugged on a casual dress shirt instead, choosing to wear his favourite jeans with it. Crossing the living room, Ianto froze dead in his tracks when he almost ran into Jack. It was all he could do not to stare as the captain only wore his trousers and the greatcoat.

"What happened?" Ianto demanded.

Jack could not find his voice to answer, though, as he could only gape at Ianto, the crisp white shirt with the woven stripes and the letter print on his left chest, and the dark blue denims with the black leather belt. He could not help but imagine how the young man looked without them and the fantasy made his mouth go dry.

"Jack!" Ianto startled him out of his musings. "What's wrong with you?"

"What? Nothing's wrong," Jack spluttered, unable to avert his eyes, "Actually, I'm perfectly fine."

"Then why are you suddenly shirtless?" Ianto queried with fresh suspicion. _What did I not notice?_

"You should check on the fish," Jack deflected, finally managing to step aside and let Ianto pass.

"Don't believe for a second that I'm letting this slide," Ianto stated as he went to take the food out of the oven. As he distributed potatoes and fish on two plates he prodded, "Now?"

His defences torn down by the incredibly sexy sight in front of him paired with the insistent and yet innocent curiosity, Jack bluntly stated, "I got drunk, tripped, and impaled myself on a piece of scrap."

The reprimanding look that Ianto shot at him between spooning vegetables on the plates made Jack feel incredibly stupid.

"My shirts were torn and bloody," he defended himself sheepishly. "But I can put them back on…"

"Okay, okay," Ianto quickly warded off, as he put the plates onto the kitchen table. "Sit down."

Jack sat and watched with fascination how Ianto slid into his own seat where he sat and stared at the food. After a moment of contemplation, Ianto shook off his rigour.

"Enjoy," he said and picked up his fork.

"I'm sure I will," Jack declared, "It smells wonderful."

Piercing a few pieces of zucchini and sweet peppers on his fork, he took a first bite that already convinced him of how well Ianto could cook. Where the vegetables were good, the fish and scalloped potatoes were delicious, and Jack told his archivist so.

"I'm glad with how it turned out," Ianto shrugged. "First time."

"Certainly could become one of my favourites," Jack stated without thinking. Seeing the questioningly raised eyebrow he elaborated, "I'll have to try and make it myself. Any tips you could give me?"

"Follow your instinct," Ianto smirked.

"Always do," Jack returned the grin. Maybe it turned out too roguishly because Ianto averted his eyes, taking a strangely intense interest in his food. Jack did not mind the break. He had his own thoughts to sort.

_He looks gorgeous! Did he dress up on purpose? No, probably not. Guess he just wanted to replace his soiled sweater and changed into something appropriate for a visitor. That's what I am after all, his temp boss who's visiting, in a crisis in addition. So, don't interpret his wardrobe wrong._

Easier said than done.

_I think we better should talk. About what? The weather? Rather not. About how delicious he looks in that shirt? No way!_

Trying to avoid a chuckle at that thought, Jack almost choked on his fish.

"Something wrong?" Ianto asked. "Did you find a fishbone?"

Jack shook his head and swallowed his bite before he answered, "I thought so, but it was the zucchini."

Ianto did not look convinced.

Jack smirked.

"And my mind that took me down a pleasurable path."

"That sounds more like you," Ianto teased. He wanted to reach for his glass only to realize that they had nothing to drink. "I'm a git. I didn't even offer you a drink." He got up to get glasses. "What would you like? I think the range's limited to water, beer, or wine."

"White wine would go well with the fish," Jack replied, chuckling this time at the way Ianto got flustered by his lapse. "As I still need to drive I should go with water, though."

Leaning against the cupboard door that he had just opened, Ianto paused. Why was he so surprised that Jack intended to leave? He could hardly expect the boss to hang around for the night, let alone the rest of the weekend.

Feeling the need to break the tension, Jack asked, "You said you'd like your spidery mouse things to live at the Hub… where would that be exactly?"

Glad for the change of subject, Ianto reached for the glasses and said, "I found an apparently unused storage room that could offer them a nice home. I don't want to talk you into anything, but," he poured them both water, "I only have a cage for them, and they need so much more space."

"I understand that, Ianto," Jack argued between bites of fish, "It's just that I can't see them moving in under my roof. You should've thought of that before you brought them with you."

Hearing that, Ianto glowered at Jack.

"They don't have to move to the hub," he explained. "I just wish we'd find a good place for them before I'm done temping. You know I can't take them with me then. We're already risking detection keeping them at my bedsit."

Suddenly the fish got stuck in Jack's throat, but the loathed spidery mouse things were not the reason. Before he could make up his mind either way, though, Ianto went on,

"I think Toshiko would volunteer to take care of them. We just need to find a place where they can safely stay."

"And where else do you think you're gonna find that place?" Jack challenged, annoyed now by being put on the spot, because he felt like he had no real choice in the matter. They could not keep the aliens anywhere where they might be discovered by civilians, which left Torchwood. But Jack knew for sure that he did not want them in his base.

Facing Ianto became harder, but when he looked directly at him now, Jack saw him struggle for his composure.

"All I knew was that I couldn't leave them with UNIT," Ianto whined. "They might have killed them. I couldn't do that to them after they survived the invasion."

Hearing the telltale tremor in Ianto's voice, Jack suddenly felt like a cold-hearted bastard.

"I know, Ianto," he tried to save what could be saved, "I'm just torn between my… strained relationship with them and my wish to help." Hopefully he looked at Ianto.

"You mean your phobia," Ianto stated.

"Yeah…" Jack sheepishly drawled. "Maybe I could ask Archie, or…" and at that he had an idea, "hm, I might know a place that's not as far away as Scotland."

"Where?" Ianto asked. Actually he was glad that Jack did not seem to be offended by his earlier statement. He was still raw and hurting, torn between emotions, and seriously lacking his uncanny ability to read people.

"An island about an hour away by boat," Jack explained. "Torchwood has a facility there."

"What kind of facility?"

Jack should have anticipated that question and he mentally kicked himself. Even though he had shared other personal information with Ianto, he was not prepared to talk with him about what he had created in secret on said island.

"I take it that it's really not my business," Ianto casually remarked, ready to change the subject. "And it isn't. I'm just the archivist. You don't have to explain anything to me."

Hearing that, Jack was momentarily glad that Ianto's empathy was currently impaired, because he felt a flood of emotions that were confusing him and he definitely did not need Ianto to know that.

"Thanks."

"You don't have to thank me, Jack," Ianto replied with amusement. "If anyone has reason to express thanks it would be me." At that he became earnest again and favoured the captain with a warm smile that made Jack's heart skip a beat. "Thank you, Jack. For tonight. For your willingness to help my spidermice. For everything. Thank you."

Feeling the urge to lighten the mood, Jack teased, "If you're feeling so grateful, you could accept my invitation for dinner."

Laughing at the challenge, Ianto pointed out, "We just had dinner."

"I mean a proper date!" Jack cheerfully complained. "Didn't I earn it?"

"Your odds definitely improved," Ianto told him, forcing himself to school his features in a more or less earnest expression. He imagined his old history teacher and tried to match his stern gaze when he went on, "And you really earned that."

"What are my odds now anyway?" Jack eagerly took the bait.

"Something around seventy-five percent now."

As they had been at forty-seven percent before, Jack's eyes went wide as saucers but he swallowed a comment. For one, he did not want to ruin what he had just gained, and for the other he was rendered speechless, which really did not happen often. All he could do right now was stare at Ianto and wonder what was going on inside him.

_He went through quite an ordeal today. He must be dead tired. I'm keeping him from his rest. But can I just leave him here on his own? Sure, he's a grown man, but he just recovered from a panic attack. Maybe I should stay for the night._

Ianto was equally glad that Jack remained silent, because he needed to digest what he had just told the captain. _Seventy-five percent is bloody close to a hundred percent, Ianto Jones. I shouldn't encourage him so much. But then he really earned the raise of his odds. If he wouldn't have come I'd still be cowering in the hall and crying my eyes out. How he helped me. So considerate. So gentle. His singing… it made my scalp tickle. More than that. No, don't go there. Concentrate. Playing. Flirting. Coping. Stay!_

Once more he tried to connect with Jack. Usually he avoided using his empathic talent, but now that it was locked within, he felt the urge to recover it. It did not work.

Of course, Jack noticed that Ianto was struggling internally and thought that he knew what the problem was. Strangely, it was a reason for both staying and leaving.

"Don't stress yourself, Ianto," Jack calmly told him, hoping he could soothe the frayed nerves. "Your ability will come back to you. You should allow yourself a break, sleep in tomorrow, and refuel your batteries."

Ianto gave him a crooked grin.

"You sound like my mam."

"Just think of me as your concerned boss," Jack shot back. At once he knew that it was the wrong thing to say from a rather selfish point of view as he sensed Ianto's professional façade come up again.

_May be for the better. Now's not the right time to prod for more. I should encourage him._

Another moment passed in silence, which urged Jack to ask, "Will you be all right?"

He was pleased to see that Ianto did not reply at once but took his time to contemplate the question before he nodded.

"Good. I don't want you to think I'd leave you behind. You're working for me and I feel responsible for you. I won't have to worry?"

At that a mystic smile cracked Ianto's features.

"Is there anything I can say to keep you from worrying?" he teased.

Jack laughed.

"Not really," he admitted. "I've been connected with your mind after all. I can't just switch my emotions off and pretend I'm just your superior."

Ianto nodded slowly. Even though he was grateful that Jack had saved him, he still found the idea that he had entered his mind and manipulated his talent disconcerting to say the least. That Jack mentioned it now, woke his concern anew.

"When you helped me tonight… did you do it again?"

"No," Jack shook his head and leaned back in his chair, "and I wouldn't have done it earlier either if it wouldn't have been an emergency."

"I want it back," Ianto demanded plaintively.

"You will get it back," Jack assured him. "Your empathy isn't gone in the first place, but like everything else it needs time to heal."

With a sigh, Ianto resigned himself to his fate. Now that the adrenalin ebbed away and that he had eaten, tiredness tried to take a hold on him.

 _Maybe it's time to start said healing process,_ he thought and glanced at the clock on the kitchen counter.

"Oh, my goodness!"

"What?"

"I didn't realize how late it is!" Ianto gasped. "It's well after midnight."

"So?"

"So I think you're probably right about the rest…" Ianto trailed off on the latter with a widening yawn. Seeing Jack smirk made Ianto aware that he was going to be on his own when Jack left. He would miss the company.

"Thank you for the dinner," Jack said as he got up from his chair. "It was delicious."

"One out of a hundred," Ianto chuckled wryly. "I'm not really that good at cooking."

"Well, that fish was a real treat," Jack praised, suspecting that this was Ianto's understatement again.

"I'll keep it in mind."

Ianto felt uncomfortable as he followed Jack over to the living room. He did not want to be alone. Watching Jack getting ready to leave, Ianto contemplated the question that formed in his mind and what it would entail. Once asked, there was no turning back.

"You could stay," he finally suggested.

It made Jack pause and look at him properly. Of course he understood the implication and felt surprisingly undecided.

"I think I could," he vaguely agreed.

"But…?"

"But I'm needed in Cardiff," Jack explained, the excuse sounding lame to his own ears. He was not surprised that Ianto did not look convinced. Then the other's features changed to what seemed like forced amusement. "What?"

"Well, I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved to see that not all rumours about you are true," Ianto told him.

"Oh, really?" Jack scoffed. "Like what?"

"Like you weren't one to pass up a free fuck," Ianto reflexively replied, only to bite his own tongue after his words slipped out.

Jack nodded gravely.

"I guess that said rumour didn't exist without a reason…"

"Jack, you don't need to explain," Ianto told him.

Jack just waved him off.

"I know that," he said, "and I don't really intend to. I just want you to know that I never intentionally did it with someone who was more... invested... in the relationship than I was. I don't use people that way." _At least not anymore_ , he ruefully recalled his days as a time agent and conman.

"So, it has to be a mutually agreed upon casual fling, is that it?"

"If that's what it is, yes," Jack admitted.

"That's what you had with Ydris?" Ianto queried, surprising himself by digging so deep. His longing to understand his mysterious boss still was a mystery to him.

"That's what we have, yeah," Jack nodded.

Of course Ianto noticed the implication that their _fling_ was not over yet.

"And if it's something more?"

"Oh, ho, ho!" Jack chuckled, refusing to be put on the spot there. "I've been burned a time or two. Talked myself into believing that the other person felt more than they did. Sometimes I have a tendency to... overcommit."

"I see," Ianto said seriously. "And have you ever _burned_ someone else?"

"Once or twice," Jack admitted as he traced a line on the tablecloth with his finger. "I've misjudged the depth of other person's feelings, or been unwilling or incapable of being or doing what they wanted, or moved too fast and found out too late that we just weren't compatible. I'm only human, Ianto, er, _mostly_ human. Over ninety-eight percent. Sometimes, I get it wrong, but I don't use people just because I can."

"Because you can?" Ianto echoed, surprising Jack by completely ignoring the _mostly_ bit. "Are you referring to your pheromones?"

Stunned, Ianto saw a faint blush colour Jack's cheeks.

"You really have a knack for pushing my buttons, Mr. Jones." Jack playfully complained, bracing himself for giving a more elaborate explanation when Ianto beat him to it,

"I might want to push more than just your buttons, Captain Harkness," Ianto shot back, feeling his heart jump into his throat at his bluntness.

"What do you mean?" Jack prodded because he felt like he needed the elaboration, judging by the butterflies taking flight in his stomach.

"Maybe I want that mutual agreement," Ianto told him.

"But that's not…" he paused instead of continuing with _what I want_. Forcing himself to push the thought to the back of his mind he went on, "Ianto, I already hurt you badly enough. Don't let us put comfort sex on top of the heap."

Now that put a deep frown on Ianto's face.

"You hurt me?" he asked, confused, "When? When you got me out of the conversion unit? When you offered me a place to stay when my world threatened to fall apart? When you saved me from dying of shock at the memorial service? Or when you comforted me tonight? When did you hurt me?"

Thoroughly disarmed, Jack couldn't think of any argument. Finally he settled on, "I understand that you're hurting. You feel lonely… And that's why it just wouldn't be right."

Ianto knew that. Still he wished Jack would stay.

"Will you really be all right?" Jack demanded to know. "I'll stay if you're not sure... taking the couch."

Stunned by the offer, Ianto was about to jump at the chance when his conflicting emotions made his mouth go dry, and he shook his head.

"No," he murmured. "I mean, yes, I'll be all right eventually. Thank you for the offer, sir."

Jack's eyebrows shot up at the sudden change back to the formal address. He understood, and he also felt that Ianto's temporary assignment was about to draw to an end. That was something he could not simply accept.

 _I have no right to draw him back into Torchwood!_ Jack reprimanded himself. _He needs to figure out for himself what he wants to do with his life. But I don't want him to leave! Stay, Ianto!_

Could he dare to let Ianto know how important he was or would that influence him too much in his decision? Jack did not know when he last felt so torn. Ianto Jones fascinated him. He wanted to learn more, yet felt like he already demanded too much of the young man.

"Ianto," Jack carefully began, "Please don't feel pressured in any way, but… I need to say this. You're an enrichment for the team and I would like to make your employment less temporary. I mean, I just want you to know that there's a job for you if you want it, so you could stay if you like." He paused. "So you can take it into consideration."

Ianto accepted the information with a nod.

"I'll be back Monday morning," he declared. "I usually finish what I start."

That elicited a smile from Jack.

"Okay."

"Have a safe trip back to Cardiff, sir."

"Thanks," Jack smiled, closing the belt of his coat. "Same to you, Mr. Jones."

"Thank you, sir."

Ianto watched him go with mixed emotions, but they were not as conflicting anymore as they were a few minutes before. He had absolutely no idea for how long he would return to Cardiff, but he would be true to his word that he would be there on Monday morning. Closing the door behind Jack seemed somewhat final and yet felt like a new beginning.

tbc…


	32. In duty bound

Trapped in a maze of concrete and flesh, Ianto desperately searched for a way out or at least a safe place to hide. Wherever he went, he heard the wails and screams of terror and agony. His body hurt and his flesh burnt. No matter how far he left the Cybermen behind, the thundering stomps were always with him. Ignoring the wires that stuck out of his body and made his skin itch seemed the only way to keep the last fragments of his sanity. It was outrageous. He was _not_ a Cyberman. He refused to be one!

Feeling lost, Ianto ducked into shadows where he cowered and hoped for the metal men to vanish. Whimpering, he watched a dark shadow approach. Retreating as far into his hiding place as he could, Ianto prayed that whatever was outside did not find him. It leaned into his dark space, though, and gently pulled him out, wrapping him up in a warm embrace. A kiss to his lips startled him and he felt dragged through the universe.

Ianto found himself in a strange room. Breathing was easier and he could sense his legs again. With relief he realized that he was not converted after all. Someone stood beside him, holding him in a loose embrace and caressing his neck.

_Jack!_

This was the TARDIS, Ianto learned. It was amazing. Ianto could have sworn that he could feel her presence, that he could hear her sing in his head. Certainly he was mistaken. No, it was so peaceful it had to be true. She was his friend and he loved her, loved her like he loved her master.

_I have to help him!_

Suddenly he was outside. Fresh air washed over him and seagulls were crying in the wind. Cardiff bay lay right in front of him. A presence behind him made him feel safe and secure. With a sharp voice hissing 'you are the weakest link, goodbye' the contented feeling evaporated. Anne Robinson spit fire at him and he was running.

Running.

Sparks flying.

Breaths burning.

Running.

Laser fire.

Running.

Nowhere to run.

Nothing.

Disoriented and screaming, Ianto woke. He shot up to a sitting position, flailing, grasping for anything that might offer comfort. Bathed in a cold sweat he was shivering despite the covers. Even though he tried to shake off the horror, the events from his nightmare manifested as memories.

"Not mine," he sobbed, grasping something soft beside him and pulling it in, hugging it to his chest. It carried a familiar scent.

"Lisa…"

Tears ran down his face as he could hardly picture her face that repeatedly threatened to be distorted by a cyber-helmet. Images of his nightmare still haunted him. Instead of fading, they became clearer and clearer. Involuntarily focussing, he could even make out details. He knew he had never been at such a place, never done the things he recalled so vividly. The horror would not leave him alone and he just knew that it would be impossible to return to sleep.

"All your fault!" he yelled at Jack despite knowing that his boss was long gone. Sobbing into Lisa's pillow, Ianto whined, "What have you done to me?"

xXx

"Exterminate!"

Trapped as he was in the conversion unit, Jack couldn't even flinch as laser fire swished past him and he heard a heavy thud. In the distance the thunder of the battle rolled. His heart beat frantically in his chest as he tried to be silent, hoping to be overlooked. However, the Dalek noticed him and turned to shoot. A whooshing sound swept through the chamber but nothing happened. The shot never came. Still there was pain, a lingering agony caused by immobility. Unexpectedly, the saws twisted back to life, circling above him and making him scream. From another cubicle came the screeching sounds of the conversion unit doing its job on another victim. The deafening chorus of the machines haunted him as he lay panting for breath, his eyes wide and his nostrils flaring. His whole body was shivering and he desperately yelled for help.

A female voice called for someone else. They were searching for Jack but not for him. He could not breathe. It felt like a sack of potatoes lay on his chest, constricting him. The shrill noise still rang in his ears, its urgent call triggering something in him. He had to go back and was not sure where to.

A long moment passed until he realized that the proximity alert had woken him.

"Jack?"

_That's Tosh!_

Still halfway caught up in the throes of his nightmare, Jack struggled to sit up. Chagrined about having fallen asleep on the sofa in the rec area, Jack rubbed at his eyes.

_I shouldn't be surprised, though. It was late after all. Very early morning actually._

When Jack had arrived at the Hub it was half past five and he had texted Ianto, asking if he was doing alright. A couple of minutes later, Ianto had answered him, writing, he would be fine. About two hours later, Jack had received another message from Ianto, saying he wanted to beat Jack to asking, and yes, he was still doing alright. Sleepless, but still, despite the circumstances, as alright as he could possibly be. So Jack had dared to relax and rest on the sofa for just a couple of minutes…

Now, ignoring his sore limbs, Jack swiftly got up from the sofa in order to avoid his computer expert who just came up the stairs.

"Jack!" she barked at him, "Where are they? And what have you done to them?"

_Huh?_

Concentrating was hard on Jack as his own memories mingled with the lingering nightmare triggered by Ianto's experiences. In his mind it got all jumbled up, making him shiver with fear and slowly fading agony that had felt so real in his dream.

In her indignation, Toshiko failed to notice his distress and angrily rounded on him, "Benny and the others! Where are they?"

At first, Jack was thoroughly confused, but then it dawned on him that she meant the spidermice. Pacifyingly, he held up his hands and muttered, "The creepy crawlers are down in the vaults, awaiting completion of their new habitat."

"Oh."

Stunned, Toshiko paused, but after a few seconds of surprise she all but shrieked, "Did you tell Ianto?"

"Um, actually… no," Jack sheepishly replied. "I wanted to surprise him."

"Well, if you aimed at giving him a coronary, you succeeded," Toshiko muttered breathlessly. "Why did you bloody take them?"

In hindsight, Jack realized that Toshiko was right. Coming back to Cardiff to find that the cage with his alien pets was gone, was bound to scare the crap out of Ianto.

_He's got to jump to the same wrong conclusion as Toshiko. Why can't I get anything right?_

"Because Ianto's right," it burst out of him and he was speaking faster and faster as he went on, "They've got only that small cage! What they need is space, though, and we have space! I thought I'd roughly prepare the storage room and let them out. Throwing a cover over the cage and taking them with me was… okay, as was cleaning up and securing the ventilation shafts..." Trailing off, Jack rubbed the back of his neck. It was so embarrassing, but right now he saw no other way to solve his problem than to tell Toshiko about it, "but I… I couldn't… get close enough."

"Close enough to do what, Jack?" Toshiko queried with fresh suspicion.

"To…" he choked, "to open the cage."

Realization dawning, Toshiko stared at him incredulously.

"Jack, are you arachnophobic?"

"No," he shot back indignantly, which was true. "I just… I can't stand those spidery mouse things."

"But they're sooo cute!"

Pulling a face, Jack shook his head.

One more look at her boss was enough for Toshiko to understand that she should change the subject.

"All right," she said, slapping his upper arm, "call Ianto and tell him that you relocated his pets. I'll take care of them."

Sensing that she should give Jack some space, she started for the vaults.

"Tosh!" Jack called after her.

"Yes?" she paused.

"Thank you."

"No problem," she replied and vanished in the tunnel.

Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, Jack prepared himself for the call he was about to make. Toshiko's reaction had startled him. _But she didn't know that I talked with Ianto about his spidermice. She was shocked to see them gone._

_She's right when she says that Ianto might not appreciate my entering his bedsit without his permission, but he'll understand that. In the end it's my job to deal with the critters, isn't it? Only not telling him about what I did might have the potential to become disaster._

With fresh resolve he decided that Ianto would be grateful to him for collecting the alien animals. As he sat down at his desk, he picked up the receiver and dialled Ianto's number. Shaken as he still was from the nightmare and Toshiko's accusation, every ring that echoed away made him feel a little more nervous.

_I don't know why_ , he chuckled to himself _. Ianto's always been understanding._

"Jones."

"Harkness."

"Hello," Ianto muttered with obvious surprise. "What can I do for you?"

"That's not why I'm calling," Jack told him. "I've got to tell you something."

"Oh? What is it?"

Jack noticed that something was different about Ianto. When he had left him after their late night dinner, he had been under the impression that he was still sad but in control of his emotions and on the way to recovery. Otherwise he would not have left him on his own. Now he sounded so distant and the slightest bit hostile.

"During my drive back, I kept thinking about what we talked about," Jack went on, "and made a decision. I already made preparations when I realized that I should talk with you."

"Now you're making me nervous," Ianto chuckled.

_There's no real humour in his tone, though. What's wrong?_

Jack decided to take the direct approach.

"I went to your bedsit and took the creepy crawlers."

Silence.

"Ianto?" Jack asked, when he got no reply. This was so unlike the archivist he knew so far.

"Yes."

"Say something…" Jack prodded, his previous anxiety rekindling.

After a short pause, Ianto coldly said, "You know, Captain, as death threats would fail to impress, I can't think of anything but to reduce your odds by fifteen percent.

Jack hated to hear that and felt a pang of regret. The flat reply made him swallow once before he continued, "I knew which storage room you meant and secured it against escape attempts. It will need some decoration, branches, sand, rocks, or what else they need, but it'll do for now.

Another moment of silence passed, urging Jack to fill it.

"Guess I earned that," he muttered, even though he could not stop wracking his mind about Ianto's strange behaviour. This was not the man he had bantered with before. "I should have told you before I went to get their cage, but at that time I thought it was a great idea. I wanted to surprise you."

"You're lucky that you didn't," Ianto grunted. "Did you pick them up yourself?"

"Yes." The hostility left Jack baffled. _I thought I'd do him a favour. Okay, Tosh said he might take it wrong if he discovered it upon his return, but now that I'm telling him? Did I misjudge him so thoroughly?_

"And that didn't kill you?"

If Ianto tried for humour, he failed. The serious tone of his query confused Jack even more, but he forced a chuckle as he replied, "By a hair's breadth."

"Astonishing."

That was all that was forthcoming, so Jack attempted to trigger a reaction by saying, "I… couldn't let them out, though."

"I see," Ianto calmly accepted the fact. "You could ask Tosh for help. I'm sure she wouldn't mind." A telltale pause offered Ianto all the information he needed to conclude, "She's already there, taking care of the spidermice while you called me as she suggested."

"Um…"

A soft laugh from the other end of the line made Jack aware that he had just confirmed Ianto's theory. What sent a chill down his spine, though, was, that this was not one of the pleasant laughs that he associated with the Welshman. Not knowing what was wrong, Jack went on with more banter, "What can I say? You know we're not on best terms."

"You and Tosh?"

Jack gasped. What could have been a witty comeback, sounded more like an insult. _What the hell is wrong with him?_ This time, Jack did not know what to reply, so he kept his mouth shut, hoping that Ianto would fill the silence.

"You know, sir," Ianto sternly told him, "seeing your good intentions and the bravery of your actions I'm willing to grant you a raise of ten percent."

A cry of cheer might have escaped Jack at hearing that if the banter did not sound so forced. _So I lost only five percent! I can live with that. I'd readily lose more, though, if I could have the cheerful Ianto back._ As he did not want to upset him any more he asked, "When will you be back?"

"Late this evening."

That still sounded flat and distant, but Jack refused to react to it as he lightly suggested, "Shall I pick you up at the station?"

For a moment, the line remained silent, which put Jack on edge. Subconsciously he toyed with the cord of his phone.

"Under one condition," Ianto finally said.

"What condition?" Jack shot back, at once reprimanding himself that he should not try and antagonize him.

"No playing tonight and we're going to have a serious talk," Ianto explained.

"Talk about what?" Jack could not help but ask.

"I'll tell you tonight," Ianto evaded the question. "The train's scheduled to arrive at ten twenty-three."

"I'll be there."

"Then I'll see you when I arrive. Goodbye."

"Bye," Jack muttered and heard the phone disconnect. _Now that was strange. Did I do something wrong? Is it a repercussion of his collapse? I think Owen should give him a once over._

Realizing that he still held the receiver in hand, Jack put it down on its cradle.

xXx

Waiting on platform one for the train from London, Jack pushed his hands deeply into the pockets of his coat. The strong breeze coming from the bay ruffled his hair and made him glad that he had pulled his collar up. The train was scheduled to arrive in six minutes and Jack felt his anxiety rise. Ianto had sounded somewhat peculiar on the phone, so Jack wracked his mind about what he had done wrong the night before.

_Maybe I should've stayed. He asked me to after all._

He sighed.

_He was ready to ask for more than just company. Somehow that felt wrong, though. I think that sharing his bed now would destroy any chance of our relationship developing into something very special._

It was not the first time that Jack felt that tingling in the back of his mind. Actually he had sensed it the moment he laid eyes on Ianto Jones. Forgotten was his need to wrap up the matter of the cleanup. All of a sudden he had felt an inexplicable urge to get Ianto out of the bloody conversion unit, as if that was the only reason why he came to London. It felt like he would otherwise miss something very important.

_I can't really pinpoint it, and I'm still trying to figure out its significance._

A drizzling rain sprayed under the roof. Seagulls circled above the rails. An especially bold one landed on the platform and searched for anything edible. It picked at some crumbs and toyed around with a candy bar wrapping. When it marched toward a waiting couple, they shooed it away. Its wings almost brushed the woman when it swept up to join its mates.

Jack smirked.

He turned into the rain to try and see if the train was coming. A moment later, he spotted the approaching headlights and his anxiety mixed with excitement. When the train screeched to a halt and the doors opened, Jack looked around in search of Ianto. First he could not spot him among the other travellers, and then he was startled by, "Behind you."

Pivoting around, Jack came face to face with Ianto and a smile cracked his features, "Hello."

One look at the other man was enough. Jack just _knew_ that something was wrong. As Ianto remained silent, he carefully inquired, "Did you have a bad night?"

"Yes."

Brusquely, Ianto marched past Jack, dragging a suitcase behind that hit Jack's shin.

The captain chose not to express his surprise at the minor pain and bit his tongue. Instead he followed Ianto down the stairs.

"I have the SUV parked near the back," Jack stated, but Ianto turned to the left. "Ianto? Wait!"

Ianto stopped, but did not turn back around.

"Please, tell me what I did wrong?" Jack softly prodded. All he had done was try to be nice, to be obliging, and, last but not least, to do him a favour. He could not understand why he was treated so harshly now.

"I… wanted to explore that," Ianto pressed through gritted teeth, still not willing to look at Jack, "but I… can't. I just can't."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, going around Ianto in order to face him again. When Ianto started to walk past him, Jack stopped him.

Ianto's gaze drifted to the hand on his left shoulder and along the arm up to Jack's eyes. Seeing the anger reflected in Ianto's features, Jack removed his hand.

"Is it something I did last night?" he anxiously asked. "Have I been too forward?"

Ianto clenched his teeth and it took a moment until he said, "You've been a gentleman."

To Jack it looked like talking was a real effort for Ianto. The other travellers moving around them certainly did not make it any easier.

"Maybe we should find a calmer place," Jack suggested. "Then we can talk."

All of a sudden, Ianto looked haunted.

"No!" it escaped him sharply. Sucking in a breath, he tried for calmer, "No. I can't. I thought I could, but I was mistaken. I need to be alone."

With that he tried to push past Jack, but the captain sidestepped.

"Let me through!" Ianto hissed.

"You're obviously unwell," Jack muttered. "I'd be a bad boss if I'd leave you alone… again."

"I insist you do," Ianto snarled.

Of course, Jack could see that Ianto wanted to get away from him as fast as possible. It broke his heart. On the other hand, he really could not let him go like that. He was responsible for him after all.

"Whatever I did…" he muttered, "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't last night," Ianto pressed through gritted teeth, but he would not look at Jack. "It must've been what you did… earlier."

Realization dawned on Jack.

"At the memorial service?"

Ianto nodded, still not meeting Jack's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Ianto," Jack said. "There was no other way to help you, though."

"I understand that," Ianto hissed. "But… right now… I have to go. Really."

Once more, he started to march away.

_I can't let him go like that!_

"Will you talk with Owen?" Jack called after him.

Ianto paused.

Jack could see a shudder ripple through him. A moment later, he was relieved to see him nod.

"But I'll call him," Ianto said. "Not you."

"That's okay," Jack agreed, glad that Ianto would talk with _someone_. Somewhat helplessly he stood and watched the younger man who still stood there, the handle of his suitcase in hand, looking rather forlorn. Hopefully he raised his eyebrows when Ianto turned his head to look at him.

"Thanks for coming," Ianto murmured tonelessly, "and for relocating my pets."

"You're welcome," Jack replied, heartfelt. Trying to lift the mood a little, he added lightly, "It's my job after all, isn't it?"

"Well, you didn't care before."

It did not sound quite as harsh as earlier, but it still hurt more than it should.

"I admit that I would rather have seen UNIT take them in," Jack shrugged. "But… if you say that they might prove valuable, I'm glad that we found a solution."

"Yeah?"

"Well…" Jack drawled, trying for a roguish grin that failed to manifest, "as long as I don't have to feed them or clean up after them."

The tiniest of smirks cracked Ianto's features.

"I have to go," he declared, his voice slightly wavering. "Sorry, but I… just can't."

"Please," Jack pled, reluctant to let him part, "I wish I could help but I accept your decision. Just… find someone you can talk with." Watching Ianto like a hawk for a reaction, he paused. When none was forthcoming, he prodded, "Okay? Owen, or Tosh… anyone."

Ianto nodded.

"See you tomorrow?" Jack asked.

"Got a job to do," Ianto mumbled as he turned around.

Taking that as a yes, Jack let him go.

tbc…

 


	33. Collective concern

Nagging doubts ate away at Jack. After spending a long night trying not to call Ianto or Owen, he felt like he had been spewed out by a garden shredder. Ever since his life had changed so drastically after a fight on a satellite gamestation a long time ago in the future, he did not need as much sleep as he used to, but now he was bone deep tired. _Ianto is my responsibility_ , he told himself over and over again and still could not convince himself that it was more important to call and assure himself of the Welshman's wellbeing than it was to respect Ianto's wish for privacy.

His desire for fresh coffee led Jack out of his office and up to the kitchenette on the gantry. As so often before, though, he could only shake his head at the professional coffee maker that would never produce drinkable coffee when Jack tried his luck. Still yearning for a shot of caffeine, he leaned on the railing and looked down at the central Hub, willing the proximity alert to sound and announce Ianto's arrival. However, when it finally rang and the cog door rolled open it was Owen who trudged in. Slowly, he made his way over to his desk where he dropped in his office chair.

"Good morning," Jack hollered but got only an unintelligible grunt in return.

Muttering to himself with dismay, the medic went through all of his desk drawers and finally produced a pill bottle. The captain watched him look around in search of something, until Owen's gaze drifted upstairs and met Jack's.

"Isn't the teaboy in yet?" the medic called up to him.

Jack bristled on Ianto's behalf.

"Don't call him that," he scolded, but Owen ignored him.

"Do we have coffee?"

"Coffee grounds, yeah," Jack replied and watched Owen angrily push the start button on his computer to fire it up. Aside from that, the medic did not look like he intended to work any time soon. Instead, he stood with an effort and scuffled to the stairs.

_Hung over?_ Jack mused. As Owen approached the kitchenette, his nose confirmed his suspicions. _Oh, yeah._ _Seems to have been a long night with some heavy drinking_. Knowing that he could hardly claim the moral high ground after recent events, Jack chose to ignore it.

"I have no fucking idea how that bloody thing works!" Owen complained and hit the coffee machine with his flat hand. "Even if I tried, the ruddy thing wouldn't spit out coffee!"

At that, Jack had to fight to prevent himself from laughing. It was a pity that none of them could work the machine properly, which would result in regular Starbucks runs in order to sate the team's need for caffeine.

_Hopefully, not that soon_ , Jack sighed inwardly, all but cringing at the fact that Ianto was eventually going to leave Torchwood. Even though he usually tried to think positive, Jack could not help but feel a little more miserable with every day that passed and brought them closer to Ianto's impending departure.

"Don't we have anything useful in here?" Owen grunted as he rummaged through the contents of the fridge and finally produced a can of coke. With a sigh, he popped the can open and took a draw only to moan next, "Not the teaboy's coffee, but it'll do."

Again, Jack scowled deeply at Owen's use of his new nickname for Ianto that was generally beset with a derogatory meaning.

"Do you happen to have talked with Ianto last night?" he asked, trying hard to sound nonchalant as opposed to concerned.

"Nope," Owen shook his head. "Tried to reach him, but I've not seen him since the memorial service."

Right then the proximity alert interrupted their conversation. Owen did not miss how quickly it diverted Jack's attention to the cog door and how his features fell a moment later. A quick glance confirmed Owen's suspicion that it had not been Ianto who entered.

"Good morning," Toshiko's voice drifted up to them.

"Good morning," Jack hollered back, but his enthusiasm did not reach his eyes. Turning back to Owen he demanded incredulously, "And it didn't cross your mind that you should check on him?"

"Actually, it did," Owen shot back in his usual acerbic way, "but even if he would've opened the door, none of what happened next would be your bloody business but fall strictly under doctor patient confidentiality."

"He wasn't home?" Jack queried, confused.

"Obviously," Owen grunted. "Or he didn't want to see anyone."

Turning on his heels, Owen made his way to the stairs.

"Wait," Jack called on him, following him down the staircase. "Didn't that worry you after what happened? You should've been more insistent!"

"Newsflash, Captain," Owen snapped over his shoulder as he walked over to the stairs to the rail level where Toshiko tried to appear like she was engrossed in starting her computers instead of furtively listening in, "He may not look like it, but Ianto's a grown man. I cared several hours for him while he was trapped in that ruddy conversion unit and despite what he went through, he did not break. He knows he can come to me if he feels the need. All I can do is to offer my help and it's not my fault if he doesn't make use of it."

Stunned, Jack slowed his steps.

"You could've gone to check on him," he persisted stubbornly and climbed up the stairs after Owen.

"Did you listen to anything I said?" Owen shot back indignantly. "I went to see him and he wasn't there. Didn't answer my calls either. I think it's safe to assume that he didn't want to talk with me."

"But you…"

"Shut it, Captain!" Owen yelled as he dropped in his chair. "I'm not in the mood to put up with your whinging. If you were so worried for him, you could've gone to him yourself. You did it to him after all!"

Reaching for the pill bottle, Owen popped it open, shook two tablets out, and washed them down with a big swallow of coke.

By then, Jack looked positively dangerous.

"What I did to him?" he snarled. "All that I did, I did to save his life!"

"Maybe he sees that different," Owen huffed.

"Maybe he's not in the condition to judge properly right now," Jack argued more heatedly than he liked, feeling a pang of guilt that he certainly would not show. He could not shake off the feeling that he had failed in his position as his team's leader.

_I shouldn't have accepted Ianto's declaration that he would be all right. How's he supposed to know? He's traumatized! It's our job to take care of him. My job, to be exact! I should've stayed anyway._

"Then why are you yelling at me?" Owen shouted. "It's not like you ordered me to check on him!"

"Maybe I should have."

"Maybe you should give him some space."

"Space?" Jack scoffed, "He needs our support. He shouldn't be left on his own, thinking he was alone with his problems."

That was something that Owen could not dispute and apparently, he did not have to as Toshiko softly cut in, "Maybe you're both wrong. Ianto has no reason to believe that we wouldn't support him."

Gobsmacked, both men fell silent. Jack did not want to prod her, but when the distinct clatter of her keyboard suggested that Toshiko began to work on something, he could not help himself, "Did you talk with him?"

"Yes, we had a good long talk on the phone," she replied almost casually.

Obviously, she did not intend to elaborate, but as she did not seem to be concerned, Jack decided not to press the matter. Movement down in the central Hub distracted him, and when he looked around, he saw Suzie entering through the tunnel from the underground garage.

"Morning," she hollered when she felt the others' attention focussed on herself. "I'll go and do some more testing on the glove before the meeting if that's all right!"

"Fine with me!" Jack agreed. His anger at her still lingered. After returning from London she had fulfilled her vault duty as quickly and efficiently as possible and returned twice on Sunday, wrapping things up in record speed. As she did what she needed to do, Jack could hardly reprimand her, but her unfamiliar disrespect toward the creatures they were responsible for bothered him.

Before he could further wrack his mind about her unusual behaviour, his interest was torn off her and at the cog door that opened once more to let Ianto in. Deciding that the archivist looked a bit tired but otherwise all right, he let out a cheerful, "Good morning!"

Ianto winced, paused for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, turned his head and nodded curtly before he went up to the kitchenette. With a sigh, Jack abandoned his watch and returned to his office until he was ready for the meeting. A hard knot sat in his stomach and for once he dreaded the team's encounter. Today the Rift was quiet and aside from the memorial service they did not have much to discuss. So Jack decided to get it over with and went up to the boardroom. The others followed close behind and when everyone else was present, Ianto silently slipped into the room with a tray, put it down on the table, and slid into his chair.

Toshiko smoothly took the mugs and distributed them. She poured herself some coffee and gave the thermos to Suzie. They each helped themselves to coffee before Jack began with asking about the decommissioning. Toshiko, Suzie, and Owen reported what they had done and Jack listened intently if not patiently. He could not shake off a peculiar sense of hostility. As he doubted that Ianto would be comfortable talking about what had happened to him, Jack did not ask him anything about the memorial service but told the others about the spidermice that now lived down in the vaults and that Ydris had called to let him know that he and the thylacines arrived safely in Tasmania.

As soon as he finished up, Ianto quickly gathered the dishes and slid out of the room before Jack could address him. The others left the boardroom, but Jack leaned heavily in his chair and watched Ianto busying himself at the kitchenette. At some point he could not bear watching anymore and shook off his rigour to get up and join Ianto. He had just stepped out of the boardroom, though, when Ianto turned around and, two bowls in hand, headed down the stairs.

"Ianto?" Jack called after him. "Just a word, please…"

"Not now," Ianto replied curtly without looking around and bounded down the rest of the stairs to vanish in the tunnel leading to the archives and storage.

Confusion flit over Jack's features. Ianto's behaviour confirmed his assumption that he had done something wrong. He did not want it to stand between them, but he got no chance to follow and clear things up, as he saw Toshiko entering the tunnel before him. Feeling rejected, Jack slowed his steps.

_He's probably gone to feed his pets._

Due to that fact, Jack was not eager to catch up on him. He was still contemplating whether he should go after Ianto anyway when he heard the phone in his office ring. Deciding that it was the lesser of two evils, Jack went to answer it instead.

xXx

With every step that carried him further down the tunnel, Ianto felt his stress level go down a notch. Going to work this morning had actually taken quite an effort and when he had entered the boardroom, it was all he could do not to baulk and drop the tray. Quickly he had tried to bring up his mental shields like Dr. Dryden once taught him, but he still could not prevent a wave of unbidden emotions sweeping over him.

Stepping through the door to the small room that served as a lock, Ianto heaved a sigh. Sorting everything was hard and he was afraid that it might break him if he was not careful.

_I should ask Jack for help._

A shudder ran down his spine at the mere idea of coming near the captain.

_Ultimately he's the only one who can help. I wish I wasn't so scared!_

Ianto also wished that Jack would have been right where his empathy was concerned. After experiencing sort of a burnout after the overload at the memorial service, it came back with a vengeance.

The trouble was that it came in episodes.

Even worse, it was uncontrollable.

Making sure that one door was closed behind him, Ianto opened the other.

"Hey, kids," he greeted when he entered the storage room and put the bowls down on the floor. He heard the scurrying and noticed a few small shadows move in the twilight. Suddenly one of the spidermice appeared right in front of him, dangling on its rope. Seeing him elicited a smile from Ianto.

"Benny!"

When he held out his hand, the spidermouse lowered itself further down to land on Ianto's palm. There Benny sat and enjoyed Ianto petting him. For a fleeting second, Ianto could have sworn that he could sense the alien's joy, and a fresh surge of anxiety washed over him.

Still caressing the small animal, Ianto let his gaze roam around the room. Jack had put grids over the ventilation shafts that would not let the mice through. Aside from that, it really needed some serious work at decoration. There was not much the mice could climb on, just some pipes beneath the ceiling and, curiously, a laundry rack. At least they had space now, and Ianto smirked at the big nest the spidermice had woven between two tubes.

"You've been busy."

A loving smile flit across his features as he sat Benny down for breakfast and the spidermouse rushed to join in the meal. Hearing the door open and close, Ianto tensed. Stiffly he straightened up and looked around to find Toshiko.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you," she carefully said, "but you seemed upset."

"It's all right," he muttered, shyly looking over his shoulder at her. "Thanks for the talk last night."

As if on cue, a huge yawn escaped her and she mumbled, "No problem."

"I kept you awake half of the night," Ianto argued, uncertain about what he had expected. _Toshiko's been so understanding. Why do I think she'd be angry?_

"That's what I'm here for," she replied with a soft smile. Then she rolled her eyes, "Jack rounded on Owen for not checking on you."

"I saw that he had called," Ianto shrugged.

"But you didn't want to talk with him."

Ianto shook his head.

"I hope I could help you a little."

"You did, Tosh," he confirmed. "Thank you." For a moment, he tried to sort his thoughts before he continued, "I needed someone I could just talk with. Owen, or Jack for that matter, would have come back to discussing Canary Wharf and my collapse… and I wanted distraction rather than a therapy session."

"I understand."

Judging by her tone she really did. Ianto was relieved that being around her was not quite as awkward. Right now he also did not get any emotional input, which also helped with relaxing him. At the same time, he felt the nagging certainty that there would be another onslaught of empathy, which almost negated the calming effect her and his spidermice's company had on him.

"I'm glad that Jack changed his mind about taking them in," Toshiko said. "If the Rift remains calm, we should take the opportunity and get branches and rocks and start to decorate here, make their new home more comfortable."

"Yeah, I've been thinking about that," he said. "Maybe some potted plants, too. Ferns or something that will do well in the fluorescent lights. Something low maintenance that will be easy for you to keep up with when I'm not around."

"So, you really are leaving us then?" Toshiko asked.

Ianto could not tell from her tone whether she was surprised, disappointed, pleased, or angry. He believed that, as his friend, she wanted him to do what was right for him, but he had no idea how she felt about his leaving.

"I hope you're not upset with me," he said.

"I'll be sorry to see you go," she replied. "But I understand why you have to. Just… don't be a stranger, okay? Look us up once in a while. You're still a friend, you know?"

"Suzie wouldn't be pleased," he remarked dryly.

"I didn't say anything about Suzie," Toshiko pouted. Seeing the crooked grin he favoured her with, she realized that he had tried for humour and failed. As she was not sure what she should say, she remained silent to give him the opportunity to elaborate. His gaze drifted back to the spidermice and it took a while until he spoke again.

"It's not that I didn't think about staying," he tonelessly said. "I love these little critters. You and Owen became good friends… There are so many things I need to do, though. I can't stay. I have to arrange Lisa's funeral. I promised Virginia to scatter her ashes in the Highlands… and to talk with her mother who lives in America. Personally."

At the latter, a chill washed over Toshiko.

"You can't tell her the truth about what happened, Ianto," she anxiously told him.

"I know that," he scoffed. "But I can tell her that she gave her life defending this country. I can tell her that she was brave… in the face of death." There he trailed off and choked. "That she, even knowing that she was going to die, gave me the strength to survive."

Hearing his voice waver with deep emotions, Toshiko carefully stepped closer and put one hand on his shoulder.

"I am tempted, you know," he went on, sounding distant as if he was speaking to no-one in particular. He also could not look at her and fixated a spot on the wall instead. "Three's fascinating. Dangerous. So different from One. I only was an office worker. You showed me a whole new world." Before his mind's eyes flashed a series of pictures, remembered as well as imaginations of a possible future. "Staying here I could make a difference, like Dr. Markham told me. I received the basic training at One after all, even though I never was supposed to become a field agent. Staying here would mean to refresh that knowledge and refine those skills. It would mean that I could never have a normal life, a wife and kids and… Three would suck me in and swallow me whole and… and ultimately, choosing Torchwood would eventually get me killed." There he paused, "And that I'm readily embracing the whole idea is scaring the shit out of me."

A knowing smile flit across Toshiko's features. Torchwood was not a job that you quit so easily. Once she had chosen the dangerous work as the price to pay for her freedom, but now she would not want to miss it for the world. It got under your skin and changed you forever.

"What about Jack?"

Her softly asked query left Ianto stunned that she would ask about his relationship with their boss. He would never thought her the busybody type. _None of your business_ _, is it?_ he thought with wry amusement. _Though I might tell you if I knew myself._

It was a matter of trust, and even though he considered her to be a friend now, he realized that he probably would not talk to her about it anyway. It was his personal business and none of her affair.

"Does he know that you're leaving?" Toshiko clarified.

_Oh._

"We always said that my employment is temporary. So, yes, of course he knows that I won't stay."

Toshiko could not quite bite back a chuckle. Seeing his honest confusion, she said, "You must be the only one who took him at face value."

"Pardon?"

"I never was under the impression that he intended to let you go again," Toshiko shrugged. "Usually he gets what he wants."

"He can't make me stay against my will," Ianto stated. He did not want to believe that Jack could be that callous, but then he knew that the captain certainly was capable of doing a lot of things one would not expect him to do.

"Oh, he wouldn't try," Toshiko said.

The look she cast at him made him think that she knew something he was not seeing so far.

"But…?" he challenged.

"He's quite convincing," she lightly elaborated. "He'd trust his power of persuasion… one way or the other."

If she was trying to be cryptic, Ianto did not get it.

_Why am I surprised? I'm a mess!_

"I don't want you to get hurt, Ianto," she told him softly.

Ianto frowned.

"Jack wouldn't hurt me, not intentionally," he replied, noting with surprise that he sounded somewhat defensive. At the same time he wondered, where his conviction came from. "I don't like what he did, but I know he had to do it to save my life."

She looked amazed.

"I think we're talking about two different things."

"Probably," Ianto conceded. "I mean, what he did in London was a personal intrusion, but he had no choice. Despite my repulsion, I'm grateful. It's just… we need to talk about what happened. I know we have to, but right now, I just can't. I don't know how. I'm so raw and hurting and… confused."

_Easy prey._

Ianto started. It was more like an echo of a thought, a sense of danger, so he could not be sure if it was his own or Toshiko's. He tended to believe that it was his own, though, as he never showed any telepathic talent. To him the mere idea of reading others' thoughts was disturbing.

"I think, what I mean to say is… Take care, Ianto. Do what you have to do and what is right for you."

"I'll try my very best," he assured her.

"It won't be the same without you. I'll miss you."

Ianto chuckled softly at her getting nostalgic, "I've only been here for… God, was it only eleven days so far? As busy as you lot are, a week from now, you'll barely know I exist."

"Stop kidding!" she pouted. "You're selling yourself short, love. You've made quite an impression! So quit telling me we'd just forget about you, because we're not!"

An embarrassed smirk cracked his features.

"That's bloody right, Mister Jones," Toshiko chided. "So let me tell you again: Don't be a stranger!"

"I won't," he promised. "That you've taken me in means a lot to me. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"It's too early for goodbyes, though," Ianto tried to lighten the mood. "First we'll have to brighten this storage room up. I won't go anywhere before my spidermice have a nice new home."

"Now, there's a deal," Toshiko agreed with a smile.

"See you later, kids," Ianto bid his spidermice goodbye before he went with Toshiko up to the central Hub. While she returned to her workstation, Ianto strode toward Jack's office, feeling grasshoppers in his stomach.

"Jack's not here."

Owen's statement stopped Ianto dead in his tracks. When he looked around, the medic still seemed engrossed in the magazine he held. Ianto waited, but the doctor did not look up.

"Do you have a moment?" Owen asked.

"If I can't talk to Jack now, I should go back to the archives," Ianto replied flatly.

"Well… that wasn't a request," Owen stated, finally putting the magazine down onto the chest. "C'mon."

Rolling his eyes, Ianto followed him down to the med bay.

"You know, this is pretty awkward," he said, miserably eyeing the autopsy table.

"Don't often deal with living patients," Owen remarked. "Let me have a look at the abrasions."

"They're much better. Thank you."

"Good. Let me see."

Once more rolling his eyes, Ianto complied and shrugged off his jacket.

"If I wouldn't know better, I'd say you're only doing this to get me out of my clothes."

"I don't have Jack's passport in my pocket," Owen grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited impatiently for Ianto to finish. "I've got a job to do, though, so drop the attitude and let me do it!"

Grudgingly, Ianto shed the rest of his clothes.

"Better?"

"Get up on the couch."

Scowling deeply, Ianto growled, "That's not an examination couch. It's for autopsies."

"Autopsies, surgeries, exams… all the same to me," Owen smirked devilishly. "Now, hop up."

"Do you at least have a blanket or something?" Ianto queried. "The metal's cold…" Trailing off he became aware that that was not the only reason why he felt so uncomfortable and rasped, "It's like… the conversion unit."

Realizing his faux pas, Owen relented, "You're right. I'll get something. Don't run away."

Rummaging around in his cupboards, Owen dug up green sheets that he spread across the metal table. Gritting his teeth, Ianto scooted up to sit on it. Carefully, Owen examined the sores.

"Healed well," the medic murmured. "Sorry about, you know," he gestured at the table and his med bay in general. "Got to work with what I have."

Ianto snorted with wry amusement. Compared with other doctor's offices, this one was not just in prime condition but also offered a few extras that nobody else even knew about.

Nodding at what he saw, Owen straightened up in front of Ianto and fixated him with a stern look.

"How was your weekend?"

"Okay."

Sceptically, Owen raised an eyebrow, saying, "I'm just asking because for one, you're my patient and I'm responsible for you, and second, I saw you moving gingerly. You're tense. Do you sleep properly?"

Ianto remained silent as he did not want to tell Owen that he hardly slept at all during the weekend. Being woken by onslaughts of empathy did not help with getting rest either.

"Because if you don't," Owen went on, "I could prescribe you a mild compound," seeing that Ianto was about to object, he stilled him with a raised hand, "made of passion flower. Just to take the edge off the anxiety you might feel."

"I'm not developing _Post Torchwood Stress Disorder_ if that's what you're worried about," Ianto growled from deep in his throat.

Chortling at his patient's pun, Owen reached for his chair. His view still fixed on Ianto, he pulled it in and rolled it under his butt.

Ianto stared back at him and waited. He could not get any empathic sense of Owen, which was a relief. At the same time it annoyed him. It was like someone switched off the sound at the most suspenseful part of a movie that he did not know yet. As he was incapable to judge his opposite, seeing the medic's features soften, put him on edge.

"Ianto, seriously, I can see that something's wrong," Owen stated. "If there's anything I can do for you…"

"There's nothing _wrong_ with me!" Ianto hissed and scooted off the table. The sheets slid off and landed on the tiled floor.

"Hey!" Owen quickly stood and stopped Ianto from reaching for his clothes. "We're not done yet!"

"Yes, we are."

"Sit! We're gonna do a whole checkup! Then I'll tell you if you're all right or not!"

Glaring at Owen, Ianto stood and tried not to shiver as the coolness of the tiles crept up his body. Owen grabbed an aural thermometer but missed Ianto's ear as the young man shied back.

"Hold still!" Owen commanded, taking Ianto by the upper arms and manoeuvring him to sit onto the stool. Then he pushed the probe into his ear and waited. Checking on it he read aloud to himself, "Ninety-eight point two. So far so good," before he took his sphygmomanometer and took Ianto's blood pressure. "That's a bit high," he stated and listened at Ianto's heart and lungs next.

Breathing deeply as ordered, Ianto tried not to punch Owen in the face. His logical mind told him that the medic was just doing his job, while he felt his annoyance at the prodding and poking grow.

"Enough," he said and stood up, snatching his trousers off the other chair. Before Owen could object, he put them on. "I appreciate your concern, Owen, but I'm fine. Well, if I say fine, I mean not sick. Well, if I say not sick, I mean physically all right. I mean…"

"Stop!"

Ianto pulled his vest down and stilled.

"You know, I strongly advise you to take those pills," Owen stated and opened a drawer to get his pad and scribble the prescription down. "Take… three, one with each meal. It'll help you relax."

"I _am_ relaxed," Ianto grumbled.

"Sure, that's why you're so easily cheesed off," Owen huffed. "Just try it."

"But you're a peach to work with, _House_ ," Ianto shot back and shrugged into his dress shirt. "You're just that hard to bear because you have a bad conscience for letting me go after the memorial service." This time he cut off Owen's objection. "Let me tell you something: I'm a grown man. I can take care of myself."

Owen gaped at him.

"You watch Dr. House? Seriously? I'm disturbed by your choice of entertainment."

Ianto smirked. "And yet you know him."

"Only his reputation," Owen grunted.

As quickly as it had cracked his features, the smirk dropped from Ianto's face, "Lisa watched it. She loved Hugh Laurie."

"There's no accounting for taste."

As soon as his thoughtless words had slipped off his tongue, Ianto could see the medic's features crumble. Owen actually looked chagrined, which seemed rather strange. Seeing the unfamiliar expression almost made up for his careless comment.

"Ianto, I didn't want to…"

"I never knew why she was attracted by his character," Ianto cut him off, but then his eyes grew wide.

"What?" Owen felt compelled to ask suspiciously.

"If she loved Dr. House, she'd certainly been a fan of your unique brand of bedside manner."

Now it was Owen's turn to glare at Ianto.

"Why, thanks for the compliment!"

For a moment, the two men stood and stared at each other in silence. Finally, Ianto turned away to put on his shoes.

"I'll go now," he stated as he straightened back up. "I've got work to do, you know."

"All right," Owen conceded, but held out the slip of paper at Ianto. "In the end it's your decision. I just wanted to help. You know that you can come to me any time, right?"

"I do," Ianto nodded. "Thanks, Owen."

Of course, Ianto knew that there was more to the problem, but maybe the pills really helped with the nightmares. It was worth a try.

"Did Jack say when he'll be back?" Ianto asked, pausing as he stepped onto the short flight of stairs.

"Nope."

Nodding, Ianto turned around and left the med bay.

tbc…


	34. Confrontations

  Ianto had hoped that Jack would return soon, but there was no sign of him yet. In hindsight, he should have stayed with Owen, because as soon as she spotted him leaving the med bay, Suzie waved at him to come over. Why did his appearance pique her attention? Suzie did not like him one bit after all. As he neared her work area, he saw her handling something at her workbench. Sparks of light danced on the shiny surface and when Ianto looked closer, he recognized that she sharpened an extraordinary knife with secondary blades on its sides. It looked quite scary and just for a second, he saw the blades pierce his skin.

  _Whoa!_

  Disturbingly it felt like a flashback. It was so intense that Ianto wondered if he experienced another bout of sudden empathy.

  _Back at Canary Wharf Suzie was nice. What has changed? I can’t imagine she feels threatened by me. My employment is temporary after all. It must be something else, but I can’t tell what it might be._

  “What are you working on?” he asked.

  “Just a piece of weaponry,” Suzie deflected and put her tools down. “Come, have a look at this.”

  She gestured him to come around the workbench and when he followed her beckoning and could see past her, he saw the metal glove.

  Ianto scowled.

  “I know,” she warded off, “you’re not a fan of the glove. That’s exactly why I’d like to ask for your help.”

  _You want my help?_ By a hair’s breadth he would have blurted it out. Despite himself he became curious.

  “How can I be of assistance?”

  Not quite unexpectedly, Suzie chuckled at his phrasing.

  “Did you ever attend a butler school?” she teased.

  “No...”

  “I just wondered... ‘cause you remind me of Max.”

  As her reference was unknown to him, Ianto asked, “Who’s Max?”

  “You know, Max, the butler in _Hart to Hart_.” Looking at him expectantly, she paused. “The TV series with Robert Wagner.” Once more, she waited for a moment before she came around, “Never mind.”

  “I’m an archivist,” Ianto remarked defensively as he could not tell what her agenda was. Somehow her conversational and slightly amused tone did not want to fit with the look she cast at him.

  “Then why don’t you behave like one?” Suzie queried as she put a hand on the back of the glove. Questioningly, she raised an eyebrow at Ianto.

  “Pardon?”

  “Max was the archetype of a butler, always courteous, diligent, and loyal like their dog Freeway.”

  Now a chill ran down Ianto’s spine. He did not need his empathic talent to know that Suzie intended to debase him.

  “Max’s duty was to take care of the household, clean and cook for the Harts, but when they moonlighted as detectives, he helped them solve the case or came to the rescue.”

  Ianto was sure that she wanted to make a certain point, but so far it eluded him.

  “Back at One, I made coffee, too,” he stated matter-of-factly.

  “You think it’s just about the coffee?” Suzie chirped and shook her head, “No. That’s not the point. You’ve become loyal so quickly because you feel obligated to Jack. Don’t make that mistake.”

  _Does she think she’s giving advice?_ Ianto scowled but let her talk.

  “Ianto, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” Suzie went on, “You don’t know him at all, and yet you’re letting yourself be sucked in and coming under his spell. You think he has your best interest at heart?”

  _Yes, indeed._

  “Jack’s main interest is to get you laid.”

  _Good to know that you’ve got a really high opinion of your boss. Or is that just the voice of a woman scorned?_

  “He may appear jovial and trustworthy. He’s really good at that. Has to be in his line of work.”

  _And you’re his second in command?_ Ianto was beginning to doubt her own position toward Jack. _Get to your point!_

  “Ultimately, you should trust your instinct. Don’t get entrapped in Torchwood. This isn’t your world, and you shouldn’t choose it out of a misguided sense of duty or, even worse, out of unrequited love.”

  Ianto registered every word, but did not sway from his own opinion about Jack Harkness. Nor did he change his views on Suzie Costello.

  “What did you want to ask about the glove?” he queried in order to return to the previous subject.

  “Oh, right,” Suzie said as if she only now became aware that she had wanted something from him. “I know you’re against it, so I thought I should give you more information. So you can dispel your prejudices.”

  “My reluctance has nothing to do with prejudices.”

  “Maybe you should try it,” she suggested light-heartedly. “See for yourself how amazing it is! You said yourself that it is impressive. Imagine the possibilities. I’m sure you could do it. I have a feeling as if it’s just waiting for you. Try it! Only then can you judge it!”

  “I don’t need to try it to see the ethical questions you’re raising,” Ianto stated. “I also told you that before. Now, where did it even come from?”

  “It got washed up in the docks,” Suzie told him. “It would be really interesting to know where it originally came from, but that’s a secret that it won’t reveal.”

  With a sigh, she let her fingertips run over the metal reverently before she lifted the glove off its stand.

  “So… How about it?”

  With the glove lying on both her palms she offered it to Ianto who eyed it curiously. Part of him was tempted to accept her offer, while another part argued that the device wielded a power that humans should not have.

  “No.”

  “C’mon, you know you want it.”

  “No,” Ianto insistently declared. “I don’t want to mess with an unfortunate being that has suffered an untimely death. Did you ever spare a thought to the animals?”

  “I see, you’re one of those fanatic animal lovers,” Suzie huffed and let the glove sink, holding it with one hand now. As she spoke, she reached for something among the plethora of things on the bench and the shelves above, retrieving a small cage. “Then you should be especially enthusiastic to try and bring it back, right?”

  Looking at the cage, Ianto’s blood ran cold. His eyes widened in disbelief and he gasped for breath…

  “What the bloody hell have you done?” he shrieked at the sight of the dead spidermouse.

  “I wanted to see if it worked on alien life forms as well,” Suzie stated matter-of-factly. “Isn’t that why you brought them here? For experimentation?”

  “That’s not…”

  Ianto had trouble formulating a whole sentence as he was shivering with barely contained rage. He could not wrap his head around what Suzie had done. His eyes still glued on the poor animal he tried to identify it. Even though he did not name them all, he still could tell them apart by their faces or colouring. He did not notice that one of them was missing when he had fed them just minutes ago. Seeing the small creature dead now, hit him hard.

  “Awww, c’mon. I’m sure they multiply as rapidly as mice or spiders. It’s not like you’re going to miss one or two.”

  “Two?” Ianto bellowed, and it was all he could do not to punch that ridiculously smug grin off her face.

  “Jack certainly agrees,” she went on as if she was totally unfazed by his wrath. “Why else should he have allowed them in?”

  Baring his teeth in unconcealed rage, Ianto slapped at the glove that she held up between them. It slipped out of her hand and clattered onto the concrete.

  “How dare you?” Ianto roared, getting into her face before she could bend to pick up the glove. He was beyond appalled by her actions. “A legitimate scientist is bound by ethics! You’re no better than a sadistic brat pulling the wings off butterflies!”

  Unnoticed by either of them, Toshiko got up from her workstation, and only a moment later, Owen appeared at the entrance to his med bay, lured out by the heated argument.

  “Oh, really, Ianto. How else are we supposed to learn anything? They’re lab animals. Nothing more, nothing less. Bloody hell, they’re not even from this world!”

  _If it’s alien, it’s ours._

  Clearly, One’s motto rang in Ianto’s ear. He was shocked to realize that Suzie seemed to share the same attitude.

  “They’re amazing creatures who deserve your respect!” Ianto rounded on her. “They survived One’s scientists! They survived the Cybermen and the Daleks fighting it out in Torchwood tower! They survived UNIT! And now you just took one and killed it? What the hell is the matter with you? If you’re so curious about it, maybe we should test the glove on you!”

  “Oh, c’mon. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

  “Overreacting?” Ianto’s voice broke on that single word. “Overreacting! I can’t believe you’re so callous! Your disrespect for life is disturbing to say the least! You don’t respect boundaries either! _I_ was responsible for the spidermice! I saved them and took care of them after the battle! I brought them in because we could learn from them! Instead you not only invaded my space! No, you also…”

  “Your space?” Suzie hollered. “Come off your high horse, kid. _You_ don’t have any space of your own here. It’s _our_ storage room, and the spidery mouse things were Torchwood property then and they are Torchwood property now!”

  “You took a helpless little animal and killed it just for spite and to experiment on!” Ianto screamed with rage

  “Because it was necessary,” Suzie declared.

  Ianto thought he did not hear right.

  “Necessary?” Ianto howled. “You took an animal that you would never have been able to easily catch if it wasn’t trusting enough to come to you and killed it just to practice? To see if you could get a few seconds more out of your perverted experiment? You’re no better than the Cybermen!”

  “You’re comparing me with those tinmen?” Suzie frayed. “If it wasn’t for our compassion, you’d still be stuck in that conversion unit!”

  “If that’s your compassion,” Ianto spat, thumping her chest, “I’d rather take my chances with the tinmen, you Nazi!”

  “Enough!”

  In a whirl of coat, Jack breezed toward them just as Suzie seemed to be about to continue the fight physically. Suzie paused and stepped aside, while Jack wrapped an arm around Ianto’s waist as a precaution to keep him from going after the technician.

  “That’s enough,” the captain repeated sternly. “Stop it!”

  Baring his teeth, Ianto strained against Jack’s hold as rage still burnt inside of him and he felt the overwhelming urge to go after the murderer of his pet and make her pay for what she did.

  “She killed it!” he howled, struggling to break free from the restraining arms like his frustration and irritation broke free in a burst of rage that he could not contain anymore.

  Holding him firmly and mustering all his empathic talent, Jack barely audibly said, “Ianto… Ianto, calm down. We’ll resolve it. Now calm down.”

  Slowly, Ianto actually relaxed, feeling a sense of ease seep into him. He stood down, but a moment later he began to shiver again, not with rage but with anxiety and repulsion. This time he tried to hide it, which became increasingly difficult. Due to frayed nerves he sobbed, “What’s to resolve? It’s dead.”

  Of course, Jack noticed the quivers. At first he thought that Ianto’s rage got the better of him, but then he realized that Ianto tried to get away.

  _From me!_ Jack felt a pang of regret. _Why?_

  “What happened?” the captain barked at his second in command.

  “She killed my spidermouse!” Ianto accused, his voice almost cracking with the distress that made him oblivious to the fact that he sounded childish.

  “Suzie?”

  “No reason to break the glove,” she grumbled, bending to pick it up. A quick check assured her that it was still intact.

  “It’s not that fragile,” Jack snarled. “Wait in my office.”

  “What for?”

  Her innocent confusion act angered Jack, and he snapped, “For me. Go.”

  “Excuse me,” Suzie chirruped, “but _he_ is the one making all the fuss.”

  “And I’m your boss, and I’m telling you to go to my office and wait.”

  Jack looked positively dangerous, but still Suzie glared at him for a moment before she put the glove onto its stand.

  “Take it with you.”

  Without a word, Suzie obeyed and strode away. Then Jack turned to Toshiko and Owen who still watched the spectacle. Toshiko seemed worried, but after sharing a look with Jack, she silently returned to her workstation.

  “Owen! Don’t stand there gaping!” Jack roared. “Take the mouse and tell me how it died!”

  “You want me to autopsy the spidery mouse thing?” Owen asked.

  With a little too much enthusiasm for Ianto’s liking, the medic came over to retrieve it and hurry to his med bay. Cautiously, Ianto tried to back away unnoticed. Jack’s presence was overwhelming, making his heart beat frantically and his head swim. Thankfully, Jack took a step back. It was not enough for the sickening sensation in Ianto’s chest to dissipate, but its intensity decreased.

  Gently, Jack asked, “What happened?”

  “She asked me to try the glove,” Ianto whined. “I declined and she showed me the dead spidermouse.”

  “I hope it wasn’t Benny.”

  Momentarily stunned by Jack recalling the mouse’s name, Ianto stared at him, frozen, before he shook his head.

  “You didn’t see her kill it then?”

  “No,” Ianto admitted. “But they were all alive and well when you brought them here yesterday, weren’t they?”

  Jack nodded. “Yeah. She was there then, actually, taking care of the weevil and the dinosaur.”

  “I just came from feeding them,” Ianto sobbed. “I can’t believe she’s so callous. We’re not on best terms, but that she should take it out on the animals is appalling.”

  For once, Jack was at a loss of words as they seemed inadequate. Only a few days ago, Ianto’s world had been turned upside down and he had lost so much. Suzie’s actions did not just bring him more sorrow, but also enforced the most recent grief. In addition, Jack remembered only too well how Torchwood once had dealt with alien life, killing a sentient being without second thought. Just like Ianto, he was dismayed by Suzie’s attitude.

  “I never knew her to be so cold,” Jack finally murmured.

  “Maybe it’s Canary Wharf,” Ianto choked. “You fought for your lives here, went to London where you fought even more, trying to put right what One ballsed up. That sort of thing leaves its mark on people.”

  Jack could not disagree with Ianto. _I failed again! I should notice when someone’s traumatized. Not only did I miss how badly it has shaken Ianto, no, I also failed to take care of my own team. They’re my responsibility, for God’s sake!_

  “I talked with Tosh,” Ianto went on breathlessly, “and we shared how it affected us. I know the other two have their ways to release the stress as well. But still…”

  “But still what?” Jack prodded.

  “I’m not sure it’s healthy,” Ianto gasped and tried to back off. “The stress needs an outlet. I can feel it. Maybe that’s why Suzie’s being so inconsiderate. Talking might help. Not necessarily with a professional, but… I mean…”

  Ianto felt his anxiety rise. Being so close to Jack made his mind respond in a way that he could not control. His heart was in his throat and he was just short of bolting to a secluded place down in the vaults.

  “You’re the boss, Jack,” Ianto panted. “You came to me to listen. You could do the same for the others, too, couldn’t you?” His voice almost broke in his frantic ramble. “You’re the one with the experience after all. You’ve seen so much. Who’d be better qualified?”

  Jack listened with a heavy heart. Of course he knew that he should be there for his team. Yet, he felt reluctant. If he expected Suzie, Toshiko, and Owen to be more open toward him, they would ask him to do the same, and he was not prepared to do that.

  “What am I doing wrong?” he asked instead as he could not bear the squirming anymore. “Why are you so eager to get away from me?”

  “You did nothing wrong,” Ianto groaned, fighting another surge of anxiety. “Not now. Just… when you helped me, something, I don’t know… connected?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You said you kind of switched off my empathy, right?”

  Jack nodded.

  “But when I’m close to you, it feels like it’s still there. Well, not exactly.” Ianto rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

  “I think I get what you mean.”

  Ianto doubted that.

  “I need to talk with Suzie now,” Jack told him, “and I brought Chinese take away for all of us. After lunch, though, we two should talk. All right?”

  Ianto nodded, even though he was far from being enthusiastic. He just knew that he had no choice. It did not get better on its own, so he had to resolve it with the captain’s help, no matter if he wanted to or not.

  “Would you be so kind to take the bags up to the boardroom?” Jack asked, favouring Ianto with a broad smile that failed to be as dazzling as usual.

  “Sure,” Ianto agreed and watched him go to his office.

 

xXx

 

  Together with Toshiko, Ianto prepared the boardroom for lunch, unpacking the bags and collecting dishes and cutlery, the latter just in case. While they worked, Toshiko remained silent, but Ianto could imagine that she was bursting with curiosity. He really appreciated that she did not bombard him with questions. When she sat down, Ianto sank into the chair beside her. For a moment they sat in silence, until…

  “I can’t believe Suzie’s done that,” it burst out of Toshiko. “Ianto, I’m sorry. That never should’ve happened.”

  “Easy, Tosh,” Ianto murmured, “it wasn’t your fault. You have nothing to apologize for.”

  “I have to apologize for my colleague’s poor judgement,” she insisted. “She made a mistake in taking one of the spidermice. Even if they were to experiment on, she would have had to ask Jack for permission.”

  Curiously, Ianto raised an eyebrow at her latter statement.

  “You know,” he told her somewhat sourly, “when I said that they might have practical use that we should explore, I meant their silk.”

  “I know,” Toshiko assured him. “I would never kill one to learn more about their physiology. Using the unfortunate opportunity is another matter, though.”

  Ianto frowned.

  “I understand, but I don’t like it.” He worried his bottom lip. “One cured me of that kind of thinking.”

  Before Toshiko could answer, the others entered the boardroom and gathered around the table. Ianto felt renewed unease, but it was not as intense as it had been before.

  _Hopefully it’ll come to rest now. I’m not bent on working on it with Jack, but I won’t have another choice, no matter how painful it may turn out to be._

  “All right,” Jack said, taking one of the boxes and chopsticks, “Owen, do you have something for me?”

  “Suffocation,” Owen mumbled past his noodles, shooting a death glare at Suzie. “There was water in its lungs.”

  Rolling her eyes, Suzie sank against the backrest of her chair.

  “You bloody drowned it?” Ianto gasped.

  “Actually, it was an accident,” Suzie shot back, “but yes, it drowned. Unfortunately. I didn’t want to miss the opportunity.”

  “So how was it an accident?” Jack asked, surprised that he didn’t hear of that before when Suzie stoically listened to his questions about the incident instead, saying not a single word in her defence.

  “It fell into the bucket when I was cleaning up… and got under the mop,” Suzie explained. “When I noticed, it was dead.”

  Ianto shuddered. Suddenly, everything she had told him before appeared in a new light.

  “Seriously,” Owen muttered, “why should Suzie kill one of those crawlers?”

  _Because she wanted to hurt me._

  Ianto better kept his mouth shut now in order to quench any remark that could further alienate his co-workers.

  _I won’t stay much longer anyway._

  Jack was not the stoic type, “Suzie, why didn’t you tell me that when I was asking you?”

  “Why bother to tell the same story twice?” she shrugged. “It’s kinda tragic, but really not spectacular.”

  “Owen, was there soap in its lungs?” Toshiko queried. Feeling with Ianto, she tried to clear up the facts of the poor creature’s demise.

  “Yeah,” Owen mumbled. At least that most likely was what he said with his mouth full.

  “You let me believe you did it on purpose,” Ianto accused.

  “I just didn’t contradict your assumptions,” Suzie smirked. “Now you’ll never know…”

  “Suzie!” Jack hissed. “What got into you?”

  “Oh, Captain,” she jeered in a deliberately sweet tone, getting up from her chair and strolling over to the door to the catwalk, “I’m so sorry your pet lost one of his.”

  “Suzie!”

  Fury at her disobedience as much as her presumptuousness made his blue eyes sparkle as Jack shot up from his seat to go after her. Just when he reached the door, an alarm made him pause.

  “Rift alert!” he hollered. “Tosh! Check it out!”

  “On my way!” she confirmed, shoving her food aside and following their boss out.

  Hastily stuffing his face with noodles, which made him look like a hamster, Owen got up. Just for a second, he contemplated taking another bite before he hurried after his colleagues.

  Ianto still sat at the table, staring at the glass door, when he heard the cog door rolling shut behind the team. Digesting everything, the constant emotional up and down over the weekend as well as today, made his stomach ache. Grief for the little spidermouse tightened his chest. Its intensity surprised him, as it was just a small animal and not even one of those few that he had named. Still, he felt responsible for its wellbeing, and its death weighed heavily on his conscience.

  _I wish there was a way to undo it._

  Unfortunately there was.

  _Nobody’s here. I could give it a try and they’d never know. Who’s to tell if it’s really meant to be temporary?_

  If he was not so grief-stricken, Ianto might never have contemplated using the glove, but in his current fragile state it seemed logical. Like in trance he made his way down to the med bay. Only when he walked down the short flight of stairs it occurred to him that Owen had examined the alien. When he found it lying on the table, though, it appeared to be untouched.

  _Owen probably just used the scanner._

  Carefully, Ianto picked the spidermouse up and took it to Jack’s office where the glove lay on the captain’s desk. Ianto placed the mouse on the tabletop and reached for the glove. Its metal was astonishingly cold. His whole hand became cold when he slid the glove on. Slowly, Ianto felt it warm to his body temperature.

  _It’s prickling._

  He was not sure about what he had to do. All he recalled was that you had to sort of feel it. So he lightly touched the spidermouse with one gloved finger…

 

tbc…

 


	35. Confrontations - part II

Jack came up from the vaults first, intending to take a shower down at his quarters beneath his office. The others went straight to the showers as well in order to get rid of all the grime and slime that stuck not just to their clothes but also dried on their skin and in their hair. It was one of those occasions when Jack could not find much joy in his job. Aside from being sprayed with what remained of the alien after it was hit with their guns, he still loathed that they had to kill it in the first place.

_Now a shower and then a big mug of Ianto's formidable coffee,_ Jack thought as he strode past the workstations. His imagination easily carried him further than soap and water, and for a moment he enjoyed the idea...

…that evaporated when he entered his office and spotted movement on the ceiling that turned out to be a spidermouse.

"And here I thought that I secured the storage room against escapes," Jack hissed, ready to grab a broom or something to shoo the alien away. His search for anything useful was cut short, though, when he spotted Ianto lying in front of his desk. His fear for Ianto overrode his rising panic at the presence of the spidermouse. As he rushed to his side, he quickly tried to take in the situation. Spotting the glove made his heart jump into his throat. It still stuck on Ianto's hand and, with horror, Jack realized where the spidermouse came from.

"Dammit, Ianto! What the hell were you thinking?"

Reaching for Ianto's forehead, he felt the cold skin. _No! Don't leave me, Ianto!_ Out of the corner of his eyes he saw the spidermouse scurry toward them. Jack could not think of anything else than pull the ruddy glove off Ianto's hand.

Ianto jerked violently and Jack barely prevented his head from thumping the concrete floor.

"Owennnn!"

Jack's desperate scream echoed through the central hub unheard.

The spidermouse lay dead about a yard away.

Feeling for Ianto's pulse, Jack could not find it.

"Fuck!"

In vain, Jack mentally reached out for Ianto. A moment ago he had still sensed a vague terror, but it was gone now.

"Don't do this to me," he tonelessly gasped as he cradled Ianto's limp body in his arms. "Stay!"

Pressing his lips to Ianto's, he did the only thing he could think of. Even though he did not know what exactly he did, Jack knew that it had worked before. So he put everything he had into the kiss that hopefully would save Ianto's life. His mind sensed his presence before he felt any response. Ianto's breath in his mouth assured him that he was alive. Only reluctantly, Jack backed off.

"Ianto?" he croaked, scared that he might still lose the young Welshman. "Can you hear me?"

"What happened?" another voice demanded. All of a sudden, Owen was by their side, his hair still wet from the shower. "Jack! What's wrong?"

"I don't know," Jack gasped. "When I came in, he lay here, cold as clay and hardly breathing."

Feeling for the younger man's pulse, Owen scowled. "Pretty fast." As he did not have a stethoscope at hand, he leaned down to listen for his heart beat. "Erratic."

Helplessly scrabbling for a purpose, Jack suggested, "Maybe we should take him to the couch."

"Yeah," Owen agreed, "and elevate his legs, before he really goes into shock. What the bloody hell did you do?"

"Nothing!" Jack frayed. "I told you, I found him like this!"

As he already cradled Ianto in his arms, all Jack had to do was stand up and carry him to the sofa. There, he gently lowered Ianto on the cushions. Having not enough pillows at hand, Jack scooted onto the sofa and propped Ianto's legs up on his shoulders. When he looked at Owen, he met the medic's angry gaze.

"He used the glove," Jack explained anxiously.

"Idiot."

Now it was Jack's turn to glower at Owen.

"Seriously, Jack," Owen scoffed, "one of the few things Suzie relayed about the glove is that you need to muster a good amount of compassion, of empathy, to make it work. After what happened at the memorial service Ianto should've known it could be dangerous for him."

"Right," Jack sighed, worriedly watching Ianto for signs of recovery. Slowly it dawned on him what he and Owen had just stated: using the glove was dangerous and if Ianto was aware of it, Suzie certainly knew it as well.

_She_ _ **did**_ _do it deliberately!_ Jack's throat corded up with the realization. _Maybe she didn't intentionally kill the spidery mouse thing, but she used the opportunity to harm Ianto!_

The betrayal stung. Disappointment twisted his stomach and slowly that regret turned into white hot rage. Jack wanted to punish Suzie for what she had done, but had to concede that he could not prove her malicious intent.

"Owen?" the weak croak alerted both men to Ianto coming to.

"Hey, teaboy," Owen replied with a genuine smile. "Good to have you back. How are you feeling?"

"Like I was run over by the proverbial lorry." Ianto pressed his eyes shut as if the light was too intense for him, and then his whole face contorted with agony.

"What's wrong?" Owen demanded. "Talk to me, Ianto!"

"T-t-t-oo much," Ianto groaned. "Ughhhh."

"Too much of what, mate?"

"Input," Jack cut in, feeling Ianto's rising distress.

"Like last Saturday?"

"Yeah," Jack muttered worriedly, "give us some space for a moment, okay?"

_That's not a good idea._

It was written on the medic's face as clearly as if he had said it aloud. Looking at him pleadingly, Jack hoped that Owen would relent.

"I'll go get my med kit," Owen finally grumbled and rushed outside, almost bumping into Toshiko. Suzie was right behind her.

"What happened?"

"Not sure yet," Owen muttered as he breezed past his colleagues and to his med bay.

Both women strode into the captain's office but were stopped by Jack glaring at them.

"Not now," Jack shook his head. "Go."

"But…"

"I'll call you, Tosh," Jack assured his computer expert while deliberately ignoring his second in command. "I know you're concerned, but your presence is hurting him. Now, please. Go home."

While Suzie did not need to be told twice - and did Jack catch a glint of satisfaction in her eyes? - Toshiko's reluctance was palpable. For a moment, she hovered in the entrance to Jack's office. The captain was all the more grateful when she conceded.

"Get well, Ianto," she whispered just loud enough for them to hear before she turned to leave.

Jack could feel shudders course through Ianto and hear his laboured breathing. While his eyes were closed, his fingers scratched at the sofa's fabric in search for a hold. Ianto seemed to focus hard, which took him quite an effort.

Knowing how difficult it was for Ianto to control his empathy, Jack masked his emotions best as he could, hoping that it eased the other's pain.

"All right," Owen rattled on as he rushed back to Ianto's side, "first we need to stabilize you. Then we really should try to determine what's making you so sick, mate. Like it or not, you may have to take some meds for a while. Now…" as he talked, he had loosened Ianto's tie and opened his shirt to be able to push the stethoscope against his chest, "let's see how you're doing…"

"B-b-better now," Ianto croaked, pressing one palm against his temple. "Ugh, got a headache."

"Look at me," Owen commanded, shining with a small torch. Ianto tried to look up but quickly turned away his view as the light was too bright. "You're quite sensitive to light," Owen muttered to himself as he put the torch away. "On a scale from one to ten, how bad is the headache?"

"Eleventy-two," Ianto moaned. "I… it's hard to explain. There are all those… thoughts, noises, snippets more… pictures…"

"They're swirling through your head?" Jack suggested. Absently, he soothingly caressed Ianto's thigh in an awkward attempt to help.

"Yeah," Ianto all but sobbed, "it's like… my head's expanding…"

"Expanding?" Owen queried, "You mean like you're wearing a hat that is too small?"

For a moment, Ianto closed his eyes, trying to determine if the description fit his pain, before he nodded.

"Sounds like a tension headache," Owen mused. "I can give you Paracetamol against that. Some coffee might be helpful with it."

"Really?" Jack queried.

"Yeah, caffeine enhances the effects of pain meds," Owen nodded. "Though I don't mean you should have several pints." Casting a stern look at Ianto, he queried, "Do you still feel that anxiety you told me about? Be honest, teaboy."

Once more, Ianto nodded. This time his features screwed up with pain at the motion.

"I know you don't want psych meds," Owen went on, fishing a box out of his doctor's bag, "but I really think you should give the Pascoflair a try. Three times a day, after meals. It'll take the edge off the anxiety."

"I don't need any…"

"I'm your doctor, and you'll do as I say," Owen cut him short, placing the box of pills on Ianto's chest.

"Fine," Ianto groaned. "Are you done poking at me?"

"For now," Owen nodded.

"Good, then you can go and have a drink," Ianto told him matter-of-factly.

"What?" Owen remarked indignantly. "No way, mate."

Sensing that Ianto felt increasingly cornered by the medic, Jack muttered, "It's all right, Owen. We'll be fine. Leave us alone now, will you?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Owen protested.

"It isn't," Ianto agreed, much to everyone's surprise, "but we need to do this. Now." Owen's discomfort was obvious. Ianto could see it in his eyes as clearly as he felt it roll off him. To his own astonishment, he seemed to be able to control it now, though, and he just knew that they had to resolve their issues once and for all. "Don't argue, Owen," Ianto told the doctor firmly. "You've done all that you could. Your job is done. Go."

"I can't leave you unattended."

"You're not," Jack cut back in. "I'm here."

"Yeah…" Owen drawled.

"Stop right there," Jack snapped. "Don't even dare to think that way! One more reason for you to leave now."

"But…"

"No buts, Owen," Ianto interrupted hoarsely. Knowing that Jack was right did nothing to ease his anxiety, but he could not see another way out of his dilemma. "It's _my_ decision. Please, go."

Grudgingly, Owen accepted his patient's wish. He packed up his last things and left Jack's office. Only when Ianto heard the cog door rolling shut, though, he could relax some more.

"Are you really sure you want to do this now?" Jack softly asked, stroking Ianto's shoulder with a thumb.

"We need to do it," Ianto declared, even though he did not really feel the conviction. "I don't think that it'll take much work, though."

"Is it getting better?" Jack hopefully queried.

"Yes," Ianto nodded carefully. "I seem to have more control now."

Jack looked at him curiously.

"Dr. Dryden taught us all he knew about psychic shielding," Ianto explained, "which didn't seem to be much, but when I struggled with my… _talent_ , it helped getting a grip on it."

"I'm glad," Jack sighed, his agitation lessening only gradually. His fascination with Ianto had been unexpected and disturbing, but it grew and his wish to protect the young man filled his whole being by now.

"And you're disgusting," Ianto remarked wryly.

"What?"

Ianto could feel Jack's indignation and rushed to say, "All the goo… alien?"

"Oh… yeah," Jack sheepishly confirmed, "Didn't have a chance to change yet."

"I kept you from doing it," Ianto muttered self-deprecatingly.

"Right," Jack said, unaware.

"Sorry."

Stunned, Jack stared down at Ianto.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," he declared, steadfast.

"I shouldn't have tried to use the ruddy glove," Ianto stated. In his current position, he felt at a distinct disadvantage, so he tried to lift his legs off Jack's shoulders. "It was my fault."

Jack leaned back to give Ianto space to turn and sit up. As he did, the pill box slid off Ianto's chest. Jack caught it and handed it to Ianto who stuffed it in a pocket. The captain's heart clenched painfully at seeing the young man curling up and cradling his head between his hands. Quite obviously, he was still struggling with handling his empathy, which vividly reminded Jack of a time when he had still been troubled and thoroughly confused about his own unique talent.

' _Why aren't you dead yet?'_

The woman's mocking voice had haunted Jack ever since his first encounter with Torchwood. Woken by a bucket of icy cold water, the vaults were the first he ever got to see of the Institute. Tied to a chair in one of the cells, Jack was helpless to prevent them electrocuting him.

'Pretty advanced piece of equipment you got there. You ladies are ahead of yourselves. Now where the hell am I?'

Instead of an answer, the brunette directed a gun at him.

'Put that down before somebody gets…'

And she killed him again. With horror, Jack recalled that they would have held him to be experimented on forever, if he had not agreed to working for the Institute. As devastated as he had been after learning that he would have to wait for over a century until he would meet the Doctor again, he viewed working for Torchwood as the lesser of two evils. Stuck in a time that was not his own, the Institute at least provided an environment where he could be himself for a while.

' _How else are you going to earn?'_ Holroyd smugly had asked him. Oh, Jack would have found something else, but Torchwood worked with aliens and supernatural phenomena, which certainly suited him better than hiring himself out at the second-best opportunity as a day labourer.

And frankly, Jack also did not like the idea of leaving the ladies to their own devices with an unpredictable Rift in time and space running straight through Cardiff.

"All the pain…" Ianto moaned, startling Jack out of his musings.

"I'm so sorry for all the hurt you're suffering," Jack told him honestly and carefully put a hand on Ianto's back to rub soothing circles.

"Not mine… Yours."

"Mine?"

That knowledge made Jack feel even worse. The last thing he intended to do was cause Ianto more pain.

Suddenly standing, Ianto took a few steps forward before he paused, his posture tense. His voice sounded distant yet agitated when he latched on the most intense emotion that haunted him and spoke…

"I kiss him. Last kiss for the condemned man. I was much better off as a coward."

Only a few words, but defining. They catapulted Jack back in time, shivers crawling down his spine and the sounds of Satellite Five ringing in his ears.

"I know I'm going to die. I know the others will die with me. If the Daleks aren't going to kill us, it'll be the Delta Wave."

Jack thought he was going to be sick. His bottom lip was trembling and he put a fist over his mouth to keep himself from choking.

"One after the other they are falling. The last stand. I need to buy him more time and I'm firing with everything I have. They're not shooting back. Just advancing. They know I'll run out of ammunition. We've almost reached the control room and I'm with my back to a wall. They're only yards away and my weapon's empty. I pull out the old fashioned gun, but its metal rounds don't even leave dents in their armour. I know that's where it ends…"

At that, Ianto paused, but not long enough for Jack to get his bearings and interject anything. Stunned beyond belief, all Jack could do was sit and listen to the tale that was so horribly familiar…

"Pain! My lungs burning as if they never drew a breath before. I'm alone. There are small heaps of dust on the floor where the Daleks were. I remember them killing me. The pain still lingers as I run down the corridor. I know the Doctor will explain to me what happened. I enter the control room to find all the Daleks gone. There's so much of the dust…" Ianto's voice trailed off. Slowly, he turned around, his gaze meeting Jack's before he tonelessly continued, "I can hear the engines grinding and am just in time to see the familiar blue shape fade into the vortex. I'm feeling lost and frightened, like... on the day when the nameless evil killed our father and took… my little brother."

That was where he could not go any further. Jack did not know if his memory ended there or if Ianto was just too choked up to speak. His heart clenched painfully, restricting his breathing as well, and tears burnt in his eyes. Suddenly he gasped for a breath that had been stuck in his throat. When he finally grasped a thought and voiced it, he croaked, "How do you know any of this?"

"Must…" it was so hoarse that Ianto cleared his throat before trying again, "Must have happened when you helped me at the memorial service."

"But…" Jack was at a loss. "How?"

Ianto shrugged. "Guess… that a door, once opened, can be stepped through in either direction...

Jack did not know what to say. Tears lurked in his eyes. He felt horrible. Having to live with the _condition_ he was in was something he did not wish on anyone. That Ianto seemed to own some of his worst memories now, made him physically sick.

"I woke from a nightmare last morning," Ianto went on, wrapping his arms around himself in a protective gesture. "It felt so real that I didn't know where I was at first." He choked. "Then I recognized my bed and remembered the battle and what had happened the day before and… and that was when I knew that it was your memories."

Hearing his suspicions confirmed, made Jack feel even worse. A moment later, though, he became aware of just how much Ianto had learned about him. Things he would never have shared voluntarily. All of a sudden, he felt like Ianto had intruded his mind and stolen whatever knowledge he gained.

_Don't be silly!_ Jack reprimanded himself. _He just said that he was surprised by the memories' manifestation. Why should he even try and steal any of my thoughts, if he was so reluctant to share emotions?_

Still a bitter aftertaste of betrayal remained, which made it impossible for Jack to even look at Ianto, let alone try and comfort him. Open incredulity at this violation of his privacy made his voice husky.

"You just took them."

"Believe me, I didn't!" Ianto laughed bitterly, helplessly threading his fingers through his hair. Forming coherent thought was hard between the tides of emotions that crashed against his psyche. Ianto's whole body shuddered and he stood rather unsteadily on his feet. "I have no explanation! _You_ claimed to be the expert!"

_That, I'm not,_ Jack thought miserably. _I knew I was taking a risk, connecting with Ianto to save him, but it seemed the only way._

An irrational rage at Ianto betraying his trust and invading his mind burnt inside Jack.

All of a sudden, whatever energy Ianto had left seemed to drain out of him, he swayed, searching for a hold on a shelf and awkwardly leaning against it. His breaths came in painful gasps and his blood was rushing in his ears. Tears formed in Ianto's eyes and rolled down his cheeks.

"It… seems to come… in waves," he sobbed, trying to steady himself. If they had been outside, a soft breeze might have knocked him off his feet. As it was, a surge of nausea threatened to do that. Desperately searching for a way to make Jack see what he did to him, Ianto went on, "There are other fragments of your memory. You're bound to a chair and there's a woman in Victorian dress, shooting you and torturing you…"

"A brunette?" Jack grunted.

Ianto nodded, feeling fresh aggravation seep into him.

"Alice Guppy," Jack spat. "That was right here in the vaults when they _recruited_ me."

Hearing the bitterness in the captain's words, made Ianto uncertain what or who Jack was annoyed at. He tended to feel with him… but everything was so bloody confusing. Concentrated on interpreting what he got along with the words, Ianto was distracted to the point that he almost missed what Jack had said.

"Alice Guppy?" he gasped. "For heaven's sake, Jack! Guppy died in 1906!"

Jack just raised an eyebrow, watching him closely.

"Holy shit! Jack! How old are you?"

If the subject had not been so serious, Ianto's bewilderment could have been amusing. Unwilling to do the maths right now, Jack shrugged. Ianto looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

"Do I have something between my teeth?" Jack asked, flashing him one of his trademark smiles that lacked enthusiasm. "And how do you even know about when Guppy died?"

"It says so on her drawer."

Jack was gobsmacked.

"That's kinda creepy, by the way, having all those Torchwood operatives lying down there on ice."

Jack shrugged.

Both their attempts at deflecting their rising agitation with humour were fruitless, though. Reflecting emotions made both their tempers rise, which resulted in further tides breaking over their mental defences.

Even sensing that Jack was about to blow a fuse, Ianto struggled with reigning in his curiosity. He knew he should quit at that point, but the disturbing pictures would not leave him alone and he desperately wanted to resolve the issue, "They weren't exactly asking you to join then, were they?"

"Are you kidding?" Jack snorted with a bitter laugh. "If it's alien, it's ours."

The accusation sounded horribly familiar. Guilt boiled inside of Ianto. While he comfortably forgot that he had tried to stand up to the Institute, Jack successfully nursed his anger. Being painfully reminded of his cruel recruitment, fuelled his rage at the directorate that brought down One.

"They gave me a choice," he snarled, "work for us or waste away in the dungeons as our favourite lab rat."

Ianto's wish to do something for Jack in order to repay him for what he had done at the memorial service was drowned by his repulsion caused by current mental assault. Even though he wished to understand, he was unable to reach out for Jack like he had subconsciously done so often before his collapse. Now he was startled by raw emotions that were not his own and any attempt to connect made his empathic talent slip and rear, until the sheer force of Jack's emotions made him stagger backwards.

"Yeah, right! Get away from me!" Jack roared, stepping forward to force the young man further back. "I don't need you prying into my mind!"

Experiencing a surge of nausea at Jack's proximity, Ianto's legs felt like rubber and he unsteadily moved toward the sofa.

Seeing Ianto flail, triggered concern in Jack. Ianto's distress was palpable, but the bitter truth was that Jack still struggled with his own demons.

"Prying?" Ianto gasped, tumbling past the sofa and finding support in the doorframe instead. "You forced it on me!" he frayed, "It's all _your_ bloody fault!"

For a second, Jack was stunned into silence by Ianto's outburst, but then it opened his eyes for what was going downhill.

"I opened the door," he muttered helplessly as realization sank in that it was his wrongness that repelled Ianto, "to save you. I couldn't possibly know…"

"Then you shouldn't have done it!" Ianto snapped. "This was a mistake. I should go."

He was almost outside the door, when Jack caught on to him leaving. Recalling that Owen had practically placed Ianto in his care, he tried to stop him, "Ianto, wait! There was no choice…"

"It's all wrong!" Ianto yelled, turning back on his heels. "Torchwood! The battle! You!"

The latter hit Jack as if he got backhanded across the face.

_Wrong._

An all too familiar hurt made Jack's heart ache to the point that he thought it might tear apart by itself. He did not know how often he had been called wrong, a freak of nature, an abomination. People who found out about his unique ability, that he rather thought about as a curse, reacted to him with abhorrence. Ianto had been so understanding so far that the sudden rejection was even worse than the open hostility of people who hated his guts from the start.

His throat corded up with anxiety, Jack took a few tentative steps toward Ianto, prepared to apologize and to try and reassure him of his best intentions.

"Don't!" Ianto squeaked, his voice breaking with distress. Holding up his hands to physically stop the captain from getting any closer, he backed out of the office. "Stay away from me!"

"Ianto," Jack begged, feeling like the monster other people often saw in him. Taking smaller steps but still proceeding, he tried to coax Ianto into staying, "you're not thinking clearly. If you'd just stop for a mo…"

"No!" Ianto screamed, "Leave me the hell alone! You're a monster! A bloody freak! Stay where you are…!" he demanded heatedly, "Don't come after me!"

Devastated, Jack rooted to the spot. Unable to move for several minutes, he remained staring at the cog door that was long closed behind Ianto, until he was finally able to draw breath again.

tbc…


	36. Role reversal

  Having unexpected spare time, Toshiko first did not know what to do with it. She went home where she sat down with a cup of tea and a magazine, but her reading could not keep her mind off the dire situation with Ianto for long. Put on edge by her concern for her newfound friend, she got up to busy herself with some mundane housework, waiting anxiously for Jack to call. When the phone did not want to ring, she picked it up to dial herself and then voted against it.

  _Jack said they needed some space. Ianto’s suffering from the repercussions of what Jack did to help him at the memorial service. Our mere presence hurt him._

Her insides constricted painfully. She wanted to help and could hardly bear the thought that she involuntarily caused Ianto even more pain.

  _Whatever it is, apparently, they need to work through it on their own_ _._

  Deciding that Jack could as well call her mobile, she left to run some errands that she had postponed repeatedly due to the long work hours. She was shoving a full trolley down the aisle when her Torchwood ring tone finally alerted her to an incoming call.

  “What’s up, Jack?”

  “Hey, Tosh,” the captain said and she could hear that his voice lacked his usual cheer. “I’m just calling as promised. Considering the circumstances, Ianto’s alright.”

  Jack paused and Toshiko was certain that he waited for her response to the statement.

  “That’s good to hear,” she replied, awkwardly moving her trolley to the side of the aisle where she would not block the whole passage.

  “I’m sorry for sending you away earlier,” Jack explained warily, “We needed some space.”

  “I understand,” Toshiko tried to assure him. She thought that Jack sounded tired and somewhat desperate. Maybe she was mistaken with the latter. She had no real point of reference.

  “Well, I think that things will be quiet today, so you can have the whole afternoon off,” Jack went on distractedly. “See you tomorrow.”

  “All right,” she muttered, not liking how Jack tried to sound cheerful when he really did not. He did not hang up yet, so she waited, too, suspecting that he wanted to ask something that he was reluctant to address. A moment later, Jack queried guardedly,

  “Have you heard from Ianto?”

  “I thought he’s with you,” Toshiko replied suspiciously.

  “He didn’t call you?”

  His concern was clearly audible now and something else that Toshiko interpreted as near panic. _Did you lose him?_ By a hair’s breadth, she would have blurted it out.

  “Not this time,” she answered truthfully, feeling the light, cool touch of rising fear. “What happened?”

  At that Jack hesitated with answering before he awkwardly replied, “We were resolving our issues when suddenly one word followed another and he bolted. As he chose to talk with you last weekend, I thought he might turn to you again.”

  “Sorry,” Toshiko had to disappoint him, “but I haven’t heard from him.”

  A tell-tale silence followed her statement, which increased her own concerns. Hearing him heave an uncharacteristic sigh told her how much he did not want to do this.

  “I must have involuntarily done something wrong,” Jack admitted finally, “as he practically fled me and I can’t find him, likely because he’s avoiding me. If he doesn’t want to see me, I have to accept that, but I need to know that he’s alright, so… if you hear from him…”

  “I’ll let you know,” Toshiko assured him. “Sure, Jack.”

  After a short pause, Jack muttered a soft, “Thank you,” and disconnected the call.

  For a moment, Toshiko stared at the phone in her hand, mulling over how unfamiliar and disturbing their short conversation had been. It looked like Ianto’s disappearance had shaken Jack and brought out an insecurity Toshiko was well aware existed but that the captain took great care to hide.

  Finally realizing that she still stood in the aisle of a supermarket, Toshiko decided to finish her shopping, but not without sending a short text message to Ianto, asking him to let her know if he was alright and offering to be there if he needed anything. After the long talks she had shared with the young Welshman so far, she suspected that he wanted to be alone to think.

  About half an hour later, Toshiko was putting her purchases into the boot of her car when her phone chirped to alert her to an incoming message. All but dropping what she held, she fished out her mobile to check.

_Jack?_

  Her heart clenched at reading his short message, ‘Anything new?’

  ‘No. Sorry,’ she sent back. He did not answer, but she dreaded to receive further messages soon, getting the distinct impression that Jack, contrary to what he wanted everyone to believe, was not alright.

 

xXx

 

  Upon returning home late in the evening, Owen found an unexpected visitor sitting on his doorstep whom he had least expected. Actually he slouched more than he sat, his back leaned against one side of the door lintel and one of his feet propped up against the other, virtually blocking the entrance.

  “Hey, teaboy, what are _you_ doing here?” the medic grunted his surprise.

  “Hmmm…” Ianto mumbled, squinting up at Owen. “Waiting.”

  “No kidding!”

  Taking in the young man’s wrecked condition and the empty bottles sitting right next to two more six packs of beer, he concluded that Ianto came to drink with him and had started on his own when he did not meet him.

  “Get up,” Owen demanded gruffly as he did not fancy climbing over Ianto in order to get into his flat. He could hardly have him staying there catching a cold either. When the Welshman moved rather uncoordinatedly, Owen grabbed him under the armpits and pushed him up to stand against the door frame.

  “Don’t fall,” he ordered, letting go of Ianto in order to let them both in.

  “Wouldn’t dream of it,” Ianto mumbled, bending down awkwardly to pick up the beer.

  “I’ll take it!” Owen barked, slapping Ianto’s hand away. “Come on in.”

  Taking his guest by the arm, Owen manoeuvred him inside and made him sit on the sofa.

  “Stay right there,” Owen commanded and went to get the beer. Instead of taking it to the coffee table, though, he headed straight for the kitchenette and put it on the counter. Then he filled up the coffee machine and started it before he went to sit with Ianto.

  “Where’s the beer?”

  Owen did his best not to grimace. In his opinion, Ianto had quite enough already.

  “Safely stored away,” the medic grunted.

  “I thought you’d drink with me,” Ianto griped.

  “Thought wrong then.” Owen eyed him critically. Except for being primed, Ianto seemed to be all right. “What’s the head doing?”

  “All’s good with my head,” Ianto complained, “and it would be even better if you’d get me more of my beer.”

  “I don’t think that you should drink,” Owen commented.

  “Noted,” Ianto laconically stated, prompting him by tapping on the coffee table’s top with two fingertips. “More beer. Now.”

  Knowing he would regret it, and that Ianto would probably regret it more, Owen got up and went to the kitchen counter. The coffee was almost finished.

  “I shouldn’t support your self-destruction trip.”

  “Who said anything about self-destruction?” Ianto snapped. “I just want to get pissed.”

  “Looks like you already are, mate,” Owen chuckled wryly.

  “I wish,” Ianto snorted. “Can you switch off your doctor mode? I didn’t come to see a physician.”

  Taking out two cups and placing them on a tray together with the thermos of coffee, and two beer bottles, Owen could not help but ask, “Then why _did_ you come?”

  “Because I thought that I wouldn’t be found here,” Ianto said, sinking deep into the cushions.

  “Did you have an argument with Captain Sunshine?” the medic teased as he placed the tray on the coffee table and sat back down.

  “Argument?” Ianto laughed dryly. “You might put it like that.”

  Snorting a laugh, Owen leaned against the backrest. Sure, Ianto had had a few, but even though his speech was slightly slurred, he seemed to be fully present. So he did not stop him when Ianto reached for one of the bottles and uncapped it.

  “I can’t dictate to you, Ianto,” he carefully started, “but I wish you wouldn’t drink more. You’ve suffered another breakdown, which we don’t know much about. It’s a risk, Ianto. Think about it.”

  “I got a handle on it now,” Ianto told him matter-of-factly. “I can feel your aggravation, you know,” he chuckled. “Relax, Owen. My wish to get drunk has nothing to do with my empathic _talent_.”

  At that, Owen scowled deeply.

  “You can really feel my emotions?”

  “Yeah,” Ianto confirmed with a crooked grin, certain that his new friend hated it, “but I can get more and more control now. I should be back to normal soon.”

  “Unless you get drunk,” Owen hissed, reaching for Ianto’s beer.

  Laughing, Ianto held it out of reach.

  “Scared I might read something I shouldn’t know about?”

  Caught on the wrong foot, Owen croaked, “You could really do that?”

  Ianto smirked devilishly, enjoying the medic’s discomfort. Actually he was not sure to what extent he could read Owen, but he sensed anger and confusion combined with a dose of fear. He was tempted to let him believe that he really was able to get inside his head, but decided against opening Pandora’s box.

  “Nah, don’t think so,” he said instead. “What I can do is read emotions. That’s what flooded me at the memorial service. All the grief and fear coming from the survivors and the relatives kind of overloaded me.”

  Wordlessly, Owen just stared at him. Only when Ianto did not continue but nursed his beer instead, he fumbled for words, “Then what the hell did Jack do?”

  “He took over control.”

  “But how…?”

  “No clue,” Ianto cut him short. In his opinion, Owen looked like he needed a drink now, too. As if on cue, the medic reached for the other bottle.

  “That’s pretty weird.”

  “You have no idea,” Ianto chuckled humourlessly. The side effects still scared the shit out of him. Ever since he decided to go to Owen, he had wracked his mind about telling him everything or not, but he still could not make up his mind.

  “What I also don’t understand,” Owen muttered, sitting up to lean toward Ianto expectantly, “is how you could be so stupid to try the glove.”

  “So we have something in common after all,” Ianto snickered, drinking from his beer. He certainly did not mind that Owen changed the subject. “I don’t know why I did it. It seemed like a good idea then.”

  For the time being, the ringing phone saved Ianto from further inquiries.

  “What?” Owen grunted into the receiver… and listened stoically to what Jack had to say. “No clue,” he then cut in, “did you check his bedsit?”

  Alarmed, Ianto looked up at Owen, gesturing him to get rid of the captain.

  Winking at his unexpected guest, Owen put on a mask of indignation and rounded on Jack, “I don’t know what you want from me!” he yelled into the phone. “I left Ianto in _your_ care! Remember, Jack? I should’ve known you’d balls it up!” A short pause followed before, “How the bloody hell did it happen anyway? Did you get an alert or something? Because saving the world would be the only excuse I’ll accept.”

Turning back to Ianto, he saw the distraught Welshman waving his hands and shaking his head in pantomime of panic. Covering the mike on his phone, he whispered, “What?”

  “Don’t make him feel worse,” Ianto hissed. “He was nearly as upset as I was. I don’t want to see him right now, but I don’t want you to torture him, either.”

  “Relax, teaboy, I got this,” Owen assured him.

  “Have you checked with Tosh?” Owen demanded into the phone. “Uh-huh. I see. Well, if he really removed the battery of his mobile then he doesn’t want to be found, and if he doesn’t want to be found you should bloody well leave him alone.”

  Owen turned and winked at Ianto again. Jack’s voice was just a tiny squawk coming from the phone.

  “You know, he can take care of himself. You shouldn’t worry so much... Don’t worry, I’ll have a word with him next time I see him... It’s all right, Jack. If he can text Tosh to say he’s ok, then I’m sure he really is. It’s just my job to be mad at you, and you know it.”

  Once more, he listened before he laughed out loud.

  “Fine, be mad at me in return! That’s why I’m such an insufferable bastard, right? At your service, Captain… Yes, if I hear from him, I’ll call you. Good night, Captain.”

  Shaking his head with amusement, Owen ended the call and returned to the sitting area.

  “He’s mad at me, isn’t he?” Ianto moaned miserably.

  “Nah,” Owen shook his head. “Horribly concerned.”

  Ianto groaned.

  “Why? I insult him and he’s worried for me?”

  This time, Owen tried to stifle his laughter, which resulted in a bubbling chuckle.

  “He’s the boss, Ianto,” he explained. “He feels responsible for your well-being because he was the one who brought you in.” Seeing Ianto’s sceptical expression, he added for good measure, “Seriously, judging by your recent luck, you need it.”

  “Not funny,” Ianto snarled and took another big gulp of his beer. Leaning back, he tried to suck more out of the bottle until it was quite obvious that there was nothing left. As he thumped the empty bottle onto the sofa, it almost took flight out of his hand. “There’s something wrong with this,” Ianto grunted as he held it up to show Owen, “must have a hole in it.”

  Owen’s laughter got stuck in his throat. On the one hand, he did not think Ianto to be one to lose himself in alcohol, on the other hand, proof sat on his couch, reaching for the other open bottle and taking a deep draw.

  _He must be badly shaken._

  Torn between his duty as Torchwood’s medical officer and his new friendship with the younger man, Owen watched Ianto intently. Probably it was the beer taking effect, but he did not seem so agitated anymore.

  _He said that he can handle his talent better now. Maybe I’m worrying in vain. It’s not a medical problem after all. Now that I think about it, he looks rather relaxed. I wouldn’t expect him to be so calm if he still was troubled by uncontrolled what, empathic input? Whatever. And hell, I can say from experience that sometimes the best way to get over what ails you is to just get so pissed you can’t stand up. Maybe that’s all he needs._

  Actually there weighed something heavily on his mind ever since Suzie had confronted Ianto with the dead spidermouse. If he was honest with himself, he had noticed the animosity between them earlier, but it simply did not register properly. Now that she had shown clear disrespect for the aliens that Ianto had brought into Torchwood Three, he could not ignore the nagging worry in the back of his mind anymore. This might not be the best moment to address the matter, but any other might be worse.

  “Ianto, what’s between you and Suzie?”

  Resting the bottle on his thigh, Ianto squinted at Owen and chuckled, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

  “No, I’m asking you!”

  “You’re shagging, aren’t you?” Ianto prodded. “Is it just sex or is there more between you?”

  “That’s hardly your business,” Owen growled.

  “Exactly,” Ianto stated, noting with grim satisfaction that Toshiko had been right. He did not know what the medic saw in the manipulative and ruthless technician but hoped that it was just a fling.

  Stunned by the way Ianto used his own words against him, Owen needed a moment to catch on. Ianto had brushed him off. It did not even take him an effort.

  _Not as drunk as you seem to be?_

  With a long-suffering sigh, Ianto lifted his beer again. Its stale taste made him grimace, but he drank it anyway.

  “She didn’t want me to accompany you when we were still in Torchwood Tower to begin with,” he sighed. “Now she seems to think I want to worm my way into Three, manipulating Jack into giving me more responsibilities.”

  “Are you?”

  “What?” The challenge almost sobered him. “What kind of question is that?”

  “A logical one,” Owen shrugged. “ _Are_ you manipulating Jack?”

  Ianto scoffed. “I seriously doubt I could. And for what purpose?”

  “To infiltrate and sell what you gained to the highest bidder?” Owen suggested not quite seriously.

  Ianto snorted derisively. “And enable another lunatic to finish what One started? Lead Earth into a war or bring an alien invasion down on us?”

  At that Owen’s stomach clenched uncomfortably, realizing what he had implied.

  “Sorry, that was a stupid thing to ask.”

  “You’re bloody right it was!” Ianto said with feeling, and then gave a disgustingly loud belch so out of keeping with what Owen knew of his character that the doctor could not even react. Then he leaned forward, and said almost desperately, “But Owen, her animosity toward me notwithstanding, you have got to keep an eye on her. Her… obsession with that bloody glove is... is...”

  Lost for words, Ianto leaned back for a moment, and it was a good thing, too. His hot, beery breath in Owen's face was giving the medic what could only be described as a contact buzz.

  “There’s something very dark about it,” Ianto rasped, leaning in again, “Dangerous. Don’t let her go too far.”

  “Yeah… right,” Owen vaguely replied, trying not to show how much Ianto’s ominous warning irked him.

  _He’s drunk,_ he told himself, _and not thinking clearly. Being upset over the spidermouse, he sees a conspiracy where there really is none. Okay, maybe Suzie got carried away a bit, but that’s no reason to practically accuse her of treason._

  Watching Ianto drink, Owen grasped the first thought that came to his mind in order to change the subject.

  “So…” he prodded with a lightness that he did not currently feel, “will you take pity on him and go out with Captain Sunshine?”

  “I don’t know,” Ianto muttered against the bottle’s neck before he took another swallow. “I really don’t know. I mean, it’s all show, isn’t it?”

  “The flirting?” Owen gave a dry chuckle. “Never knew him any different.”

  Thoughtfully, Ianto worried his bottom lip. In the beginning he really had thought that it all was in good fun, a game that was never meant to go anywhere. Now he was not so certain anymore.

  “Well,” Owen snickered, “you have to admit that our dear Captain puts quite an effort into his verbal sparring with you.”

  “Sure does,” Ianto joined in the soft laughter, but it died away a moment later to be replaced by a rather gloomy thought. _Ydris knew. He told me before he left with the tigers. Was I too blind to see then because he was still here? Has anything changed now that they’re not shagging? Not really. To me, they’re still in a relationship, to Jack they never were, not in the meaning of being exclusive._

  Ianto was not sure if his thoughts made any sense. They slipped away as soon as they came and in the morning he would not remember any of them.

  “He offered me a job,” he slurred, drinking again.

  “Okay.”

  Owen was not surprised. He knew that Suzie’s suspicion that Jack wanted to keep the archivist was not unfounded. What he doubted was that Ianto intended to stay.

  “Okay?” Ianto parroted. “Jus’ okay? That’s it? Nothing more?”

  “Like what?”

  “’on’t know,” Ianto mumbled drowsily. “No ‘pinion on the matter?”

  “What should I say, Ianto?” Owen shrugged. “Take it or leave it. It’s your decision.”

  “Wanna know what you,” there Ianto sluggishly poked Owen’s chest, “gotta say. I mean, you guys need anar-, an anar-, what I do…”

  “An archivist?” Owen supplied with a smirk, quietly amused by how Ianto’s behaviour suddenly changed.

  “Yeah, that,” Ianto enthusiastically agreed. “But I don’t know if Tor’wood’s right f’me anymore. ‘Sdangerousous, an’ I don’ know if I c’n handle it. Wha’ d’you think?”

  “I think…” Owen drawled with barely suppressed amusement, “that you’ve had enough, mate.”

  Standing, he plucked the bottle from Ianto’s hand.

  “Not ‘nough,” Ianto tried to argue, feebly reaching for the bottle that hovered in front of him.

  Seeing his unfocussed gaze and the failing grab, Owen stifled a laugh.

  “C’mon, time to call it a night,” he muttered and put the bottle on the coffee table, way out of reach. Then he manoeuvred Ianto to lie on the couch and pulled a blanket up to cover him. “Sleep well.”

  His wish fell on deaf ears as Ianto was already dead to the world. Once more, Owen chuckled, shaking his head with astonishment at how uninhibited the usually so controlled man had become. After a stint at the bathroom, Owen checked a last time on his guest and picked up his phone to make a quick call as promised before he went to bed himself.

  Unsurprisingly, Jack anxiously bellowed, “How is he?” into the phone as soon as he answered.

  “He sounded completely pissed,” Owen replied, “but he says he’s staying with a friend and we’re not to worry.”

  “A friend! Who?” Jack demanded.

  “How in bloody hell should I know?” Owen snarled back. “Cardiff is his hometown. I expect he could find more than one person to spend the night with.”

  “Oh, uh, right,” Jack sounded deflated. “I suppose so. Are you sure he’s ok?”

  “I expect he’ll have one hell of a hangover in the morning...” Owen predicted, and began making plans for breakfast with impish delight.

  “Hangover!” Jack yelped. “But Owen, just hours ago he was in shock! Alcohol can’t be good for him.”

  “Actually, Jack,” Owen teased, “There have been countless studies supporting the salubrious effects of the occasional drink.”

  “Drink!” Jack emphasized, “as in one. Not drunk!”

  “Well, I can personally attest to the psychological benefits of the occasional drunk,” Owen shot back. “If he was fit enough to go out and get the booze, I’m sure he’s over the shock. He will be fine, Jack. Trust me, I’m a doctor. In fact, I only just disconnected on him when I heard him snoring.” As an afterthought he added, “And that’s what we should do now, too, before I fall asleep on you.”

 

xXx

 

  Bemused at how suddenly Owen ended the call, Jack stared at his mobile phone. His amusement was tainted by bitterness, though, at being lied to.

  _It’s a white lie, I know. Still hurts._

  Both times, Jack had been able to hear Ianto in the background during their conversations, but he was still glad that the doctor had let him know about the Welshman’s presumed whereabouts.

  A soft smile played around his lips.

  _The snoring was a dead giveaway. Owen must have known that I could hear it. He wanted to reassure me without betraying Ianto’s wishes._

  Jack sighed.

  _He doesn’t want anything to do with me, and he’s right. I **am** an abomination. Will I ever find out what happened to me? When will the Doctor come?_

  Through the windshield of the SUV, he longingly looked up at the starry sky. The sight humbled him. Compared to the universe he was a grain of dust. Less even. The vastness of the universe was hard to grasp for him, even though he had used to live among the stars. Not for the first time, Jack wondered if his seemingly perpetual life actually would last forever, which was an idea that was beyond his intellectual capacity.

  For some time, Jack could manage to distract himself from the nagging thoughts. Spare time was his enemy. With nothing to occupy his thoughts, he was brooding pointlessly.

  _Now what am I going to do with the rest of the evening?_

  For lack of a better alternative, Jack drove back to Mermaid Quay. Entering his office, he paused. The spidermouse still lay dead on the floor.

  Heaving a sigh, Jack took a big step past the small alien and searched for something to carry it in. In the end, he scooped it up into a cardboard food box. When he put it onto a shelf, he recalled that he should lock the glove in his safe until he decided about their further course of action.

  It was not there.

  _After Ianto ran away I was the only one at the Hub. I didn’t leave much later. So who took the glove?_

  There was only one answer and he knew it. He just did not want to believe it.

  Taking seat at his desk, Jack brought up tonight’s CCTV. Seeing was not comprehending, though, when he watched how Suzie entered the central Hub through the armoury and strode purposefully to Jack’s office. A moment later, she reappeared with the glove in hand.

  _Brazen! She knows she’s on camera and still she doesn’t even try to be clandestine._

  Jack knew he could not let it slide.

  _What the hell is she even doing with the glove? She can’t really work with it, can she? Unless…_

  The thought sent a chill down his back.

  _Oh, Suzie. What are you doing?_

  With a heavy heart, Jack switched the monitor off and returned to the garage. During the whole drive to Suzie’s house, he wracked his mind about what he had done wrong. How had he driven her to going behind his back in order to explore what fascinated her? He could not find an answer.

  _Suzie will have to provide one._

  Right when he pulled the SUV up on the curb near the house, though, Jack noticed movement at the front door. Looking closer, he recognized Suzie. A big bag slung over her shoulder, she just pulled the door closed and locked it. Then she strode away purposefully.

  _Where are you going?_

  Jack did not hesitate to follow her. Knowing that she was likely to notice the SUV soon in the hardly frequented streets, Jack parked it and pursued her on foot. Carefully, he kept his distance. Surveillance was something he had learned a very long time ago. All his stealth did not help, though, because when he turned around just another corner, Suzie was nowhere to be seen. His attempt to relocate her failed. Jack had to admit defeat.

 

tbc…


	37. Consequences

  Upon waking, Ianto almost gagged. Still being dazed by sleep, he could not identify the smell that assaulted his nose, but he knew for sure that it did not agree with his agonizing headache and the queasy feeling in his stomach.

  “Wakey, wakey, sleepy head!”

  All Ianto could do was groan.

  “C’mon, mate,” the insufferably cheerful voice of Owen prodded, “If you can drink, you can work as well.”

  “I’ll remind you,” Ianto grunted and hid his head under a pillow. The light falling in through the panorama windows was way too bright. Unfortunately, his cover did little to muffle the laughter.

  “C’mon, get up!” Owen enthusiastically prodded, tugging on the blanket and laughing again when Ianto grabbed it in reflex, trying to pull it up again. A devilish smirk cracked his features as he said, “It’s half past seven and I made breakfast.”

  With another grunt, Ianto awkwardly tried to turn around and seek darkness between the backrest, his pillow, and the blanket. Owen was having none of it, snatching away the blanket.

  “Get up, tea boy!” he commanded. “You won’t be the fastest one this morning, so you need a head start!”

  “Tell Jack you put me on sick leave,” Ianto moaned against the backrest.

  At that, Owen crossed his arms over his chest, glowering at his colleague.

  “Oh, no. No can do, mate.”

  “Oh, really?” Ianto weakly challenged.

  “Not for a hangover,” Owen declared, taking hold on Ianto’s arm and pulling him up. “C’mon. Don’t let the food get cold.”

  It was then, that Ianto finally identified the galling smell as coming from what Owen had cooked. His stomach revolting, Ianto had no choice but try and hurry, almost falling off the couch in his uncoordinated attempt to get up. Desperately trying not to puke before he reached the bathroom, he staggered against the coffee table.

  That was when Owen took pity on Ianto, grabbed him by his shoulders and steered him to the bathroom.

  Just in time.

  “You know,” the medic taunted when Ianto’s coughing finally eased, “I thought the Welshmen could hold their liquor.”

  “They can,” Ianto groaned, still leaning over the toilet, “it’s the hangover… I have a problem with.”

  “No kidding!” Owen scoffed. “And I thought it was my cooking skills.”

  “How would I know?” Ianto pressed through gritted teeth.

  “Oi!” Owen complained with mock indignation, “It’s not my fault you’re too sick to taste my full English fry up.”

  “Smells like charcoal with grease.”

  “You have no idea what you’re missing,” Owen remarked laconically and returned to the sitting area where he picked up his plate and dug into his breakfast. While eating, he listened intently to the sounds coming from the bathroom. Ianto was unwell, as had to be expected, but nothing Owen heard warranted his intervention. At some point, expletives began to mingle with the choking, which put a smirk on Owen’s lips. When Ianto finally emerged from the bathroom, Owen had polished off his meal.

  “Better?” the medic prodded as the Welshman shuffled toward the couch.

  “Shut it.”

  “I take it you don’t feel like handling breakfast,” Owen chuckled.

  “Don’t know…” Ianto groaned, grimacing at how fresh the doctor looked sitting crosslegged on the sofa. Heavily he plonked down beside him. “Are you offering painkillers?”

  “Not on an empty stomach.”

  “Sadist.”

  “And proud of it.”

  Glowering a last time at Owen, Ianto took a deep breath and sank against the backrest, closing his eyes. Silence. Ianto really relished it, especially as he was secretly astonished to see that Owen could actually be silent for a prolonged time. Slowly, Ianto relaxed again and might have fallen asleep…

  “So… what do you want for breakfast?” Owen asked out of the blue.

  “Nothing,” Ianto groaned without moving as much as opening his eyes. “I just need strong coffee and painkillers.”

  “Fresh coffee I can provide.”

  Ianto heard a faint creak as Owen got up and listened to the sounds of his retreating footsteps. Judging by what he heard, Ianto imagined him opening a thermos and pouring some coffee into a mug. Once more footsteps and a soft clatter when Owen sat the cup on the table. The couch dipped beside him as Owen sat back down.

  Drawing in a long breath, Ianto contemplated the wisdom of doing anything today but sleep. His head was killing him. He still felt somewhat nauseous. All he wanted was coffee, painkillers, and more rest. In that order.

  So Ianto finally moved and drank some of the coffee… only to freeze with shock.

  “What’s that supposed to be?” he spat.

  “Coffee.”

  “Um… no. That’s not coffee,” Ianto stated, wrinkling his nose. “You may have used coffee grounds and water,” Ianto told him darkly, “but that still doesn’t make this coffee. Tastes more like washing water.”

  “Sod it, tea boy,” Owen scoffed, but then a wicked grin cracked his features, “So, are you awake now?” A deep growl was his sole response. “It’s all I have, so take it and be glad for it.”

  Ianto eyed the mug in his hand sceptically before he put it on the coffee table.

  “Thanks, but I’ll do without.”

  “Your decision…”

  “Owen,” Ianto gravely began, “this is an atrocious misappropriation of water and should be abolished by law.”

  Owen looked at him with open incredulity. When Ianto raised a questioning eyebrow, he elaborated, “Your vocabulary is select.”

  “Save the sweet talk,” Ianto snorted, “your coffee still is fucking awful.”

  At that Owen laughed.

  “You can make me some when we’re at the Hub,” he declared as he stood to return to the kitchenette.

  Ianto whipped his head around and regretted it at once as the fast motion made his head spin.

  “Not going,” he mumbled.

  “You won’t take a duvet day on my watch,” Owen stated matter-of-factly. “Won’t happen.”

  “Look who’s talking,” Ianto grumbled. “Don’t try to tell me that you never called in sick when you really were hung over.”

  “Not talking about me…” Owen ‘s sing-song voice was dripping with false sweetness. Upon his return, he placed a plate of some toast with jam and a glass of water on the coffee table.

  “Did you bring painkillers, too?” Ianto reached for the water.

  “Yeah… still try and have a toast.”

  Grudgingly, Ianto complied and was astonished that it seemed to agree with his unsettled stomach. Finally getting a pill from Owen, Ianto washed both down with the water.

  “Good boy,” Owen praised his patient. “Let’s go.”

  “Go?”

  “Yeah, go,” Owen replied with wicked glee. “We don’t want to be late, and I assume you want to stop by your bedsit to change, right?”

  “Yeah…” Ianto drawled, sniffing at his armpit. “Not the worst idea.”

  “And don’t forget to stop by the bakery,” Owen teased, smirking broadly at the death glare Ianto shot at him, “to get the Welshcakes for your lord and master.”

  “Excuse me…!”

  “And don’t forget to get some for your physician, too,” Owen cut any argument short, “I don’t work for peanuts.”

  All Ianto could do was pout.

 

xXx

 

  Despite his best efforts, Jack had not been able to find Suzie. That she dropped off the radar like that put him on edge. Locating her should have been easier. Without any idea of where he should search, Jack drove around Cardiff. It was almost dawning when he returned to the Hub.

  Entering his office, Jack had found the glove on his desk. Nothing about it seemed to be wrong. It sat atop a file that he had left earlier, waiting for him.

  _I wasn’t mistaken! I saw her take it!_

  Now the glove was back.

  _If only you could tell me her story,_ Jack thought as he finally locked the glove in his safe.

  After that unexpected discovery, Jack had rested in his room beneath his office until he heard the proximity alert for the first time that morning. He saw Toshiko come in and sit down at her desk. A few minutes later, Suzie arrived as well and Jack was tempted to go and throttle her. Instead, he called her to his office. When she took a standing position in front of his desk, he ordered her to sit down, which she reluctantly did.

  “I saw you take the glove,” Jack told her straightforwardly. “Explain yourself.”

  “I have permission for the glove research,” Suzie answered matter-of-factly. “You told me it was okay to test it.”

  “Yes… here at the Hub,” Jack stated darkly. “You know that no alien tech leaves the base without my permission.”

  “Yes, and I weighed risk versus use and decided that asking forgiveness would prove to be more productive in the end than asking permission.”

  At that, Jack had to muster all the restraint he was capable of in order to ask as calmly as possible, “What are you talking about?”

  “I noticed stray cats fighting near my house,” Suzie explained, “and was searching for them in case one did not make it.”

  “I don’t see your point yet,” Jack all but growled.

  “The point is, Jack, that the glove works best on the recently deceased,” Suzie enthusiastically elaborated. “I knew I would get the best results if I took the glove to the carcass, not the other way round.”

  _Did it work?_

  By a hair’s breadth, Jack would have blurted it out. He could not deny that he was curious. No matter how important her discovery seemed, though, he should not support her arbitrary act.

  “As bad as it is that they fought,” Suzie went on with her tale, “I found one of the cats dying. When I put the glove to work, it responded immediately! It was amazing, Jack! We need to do more tests! If we can figure out how it works… imagine the possibilities!”

  In Jack’s opinion, _amazing_ was not the word that he would have used to describe the experience. Actually, he wracked his mind about how he could discipline Suzie. While she had not endangered any lives, she had disobeyed his orders and violated protocol. He could not let it slide, because otherwise he would undermine his own authority.

  “While a certain degree of initiative is definitely commendable,” he stated and instantly saw anger flit across Suzie’s features, “you crossed the line. Consider yourself to be on probation. The glove is off limits for now.”

  “But, Jack, it…”

  Jack was having none of it.

  “And you will apologize to Ianto.”

  “I won’t…”

  “Don’t argue with me!” Jack thundered. For a fleeting second, he considered what it would be like to be called _sir_ by all of his team members, but he dismissed the idea. That would be too weird. “You disappointed me! From my second in command I expected more than childish favourites games! For the time being, Toshiko will be second. You’ll report to me before you leave tonight. You’re dismissed.”

  Fuming, Suzie leaned forward in her chair, glowering darkly at Jack and obviously searching for a good argument.

  “Swallow it,” Jack told her before she could make up her mind. “You have paperwork to catch up on. Go and make yourself useful.”

 

xXx

 

  Both morning and afternoon passed relatively quietly. Suzie went to Ianto and apologized which he accepted even though he could clearly sense that she was not sincere about it, Toshiko was flustered when Jack declared that she now was his second in command, and Owen tried to appear that he did not feel slighted to be overlooked without so much as being informed that the opportunity was open.

  Jack, though, retreated to his office to brood over what he had done wrong, what he could have done better, and what he should do from now on in order to shape the perfect team he had believed he already had.

  _Communication._

  His gaze drifted through the round windows to the central Hub. Everyone was at their respective workstations. Everyone except Ianto. Jack assumed that he was working in the archives.

  _Solving our problems won’t be done with talking alone,_ Jack suspected. _But it would be a start._

  Jack contemplated if he should go down to the vaults and see how his archivist was faring. In the end, he refrained from joining him for fear that he might be overstepping the line. He did not want to pressure Ianto, knowing that dealing with the invasion’s aftermath was taking quite a toll on the young man. Motion at his door piqued his attention. Seeing a flustered Toshiko alerted him.

  “Tosh. What’s up?”

  “Rift alert, Jack,” she panted. “May be something big. Come, have a look?”

  “Sure.” He followed her to her workstation where they explored the readings closer. “You’re right. We all need to go. Could you please get Ianto?”

  “Okay.”

  Despite obeying readily, Toshiko could not help but worry about Ianto’s involvement. Even though he had proven himself in their fight against the whirlwinds, he still was no trained field agent. She was not surprised to see Ianto astonished at being told to go with them, but he practically dropped what he was doing to comply. When they both reappeared from the vaults, they had to hurry to keep up with the others as Jack led them out to the garage. Chasing the SUV through the streets of Cardiff, Jack asked Ianto to survey and direct from the SUV, a task Toshiko usually performed. Due to the severity of the alert, though, she had to support the team.

  Watching what the computer on board the SUV displayed, Ianto felt his anxiety rise. Whatever came through the Rift this time was big, and if that was not bad enough, there also was more than one.

  “Tosh, can you identify it?” Jack asked as he brought the car to a screeching halt.

  “Them,” she corrected tonelessly, “and I have no idea yet what they are.”

  “Great,” Owen huffed, checking on his gun. “Gotta love days like this.”

  “Two,” Toshiko stated. “Yes, I think there are two… whatever they are.”

  “We’ll take the Chula disrupters,” Jack decided. “Tosh, you’ll take the first, going with Owen and Suzie, I’ll take the second and go after the other…”

  “And I’ll hold the fort,” Ianto muttered nervously. Thankfully, Suzie already had left the SUV to gather her equipment from the boot. Toshiko and Owen followed suit, but Jack lingered for a moment, turning around to Ianto.

  “You’re gonna stay put,” he told him. “Relay the information and don’t intervene. Got me?”

  “Loud and clear, sir,” Ianto declared, shifting into position in his seat. Jack slid out of the car as well and a moment later, all Ianto could see of him and the others were blue dots on the map on the computer screen. Watching the red dots, Ianto said, “The good news is that I still get the readings of two individuals…”

  “And the bad news?” Owen came over the comm..

  “They’re heading toward the city centre.”

  “Great,” Suzie scoffed.

  Ianto could hear her heavy breathing. As the dots indicating the two aliens reached an intersection, they paused, and then diverged, one going north and the other east.

  “They’re splitting up,” Ianto informed the others.

  “I’ll take the right one!” Jack panted. “Whoa, they’re fast!”

  “Right,” Owen snapped between his gasps and turned left in pursuit of the alien.

  Cursing inwardly, Ianto tried to get into a CCTV system on St. Mary’s Street. It had looked so easy when Toshiko did it, which it was not. When Ianto finally got a visual, he gasped.

  “What?” Jack responded.

  “Just had a look at… them,” Ianto muttered, unable to find a better term. His own breathing accelerated with the fright he felt.

  “Focus,” Jack told him sternly. “Tell me something useful!”

  “Taking a screenshot for comparison with the database…” Ianto murmured, still somewhat shaken from spying the Rift visitors with their two strong hind legs that gave them an advantage over the humans. Their shapes were not humanoid, though, their posture and the long tail making their appearance similar to carnivorous dinosaurs instead. Both made Ianto wonder how the team could still keep up with them. Maybe they were influenced by their strange location.

  “Any result yet?” Jack queried between sharp breaths.

  “No.”

  By now, Ianto could see that the two aliens put more distance between each other. While they could pursue, team Torchwood still could not really catch up. The creatures were quite agile and did not slow down. As he still got no match with the database, Ianto tried to deduce anything else useful.

  “Well, it’s risky to try to interpret their actions with no frame of reference,” he hedged, “but if this were an incursion of humans, the military or police, for example, I would say they’re performing a grid search.”

  He heard Owen snort, and then query amusedly despite being out of breath, “What… in bloody hell… would they be looking for?”

  “How should I know?” Ianto replied. “Any of the thousands of things that have fallen through the Rift, I wou...”

  “Fuck!”

  Cut short by Owen’s exclamation, Ianto pricked his ears and was almost deafened by the shrieks that followed.

  “What’s wrong?” he shouted anxiously, unable to find corresponding video footage.

  “It got my gun!” Owen squealed. “Snatched it with its tongue!”

  “It’s a chameleon?” Ianto queried incredulously, as that information did not fit with what little he had seen earlier.

  “Just its tongue,” Owen relayed, “the rest looks like someone took a zoo and threw everything in a blender.”

  “Suzie, look out!” Toshiko shouted with alarm.

  Finally, Ianto found access to a camera on the street in question, but on the pixelated image he could not make out much more than that they had it cornered in a blind alley. Turning its back toward its pursuers it whipped its tail threateningly.

  “I don’t know how we’re gonna catch it!” Owen panted.

  “Stun gun?” Ianto remarked wryly.

  “Can’t get close enough.”

  “Tranquilizer darts?” Ianto suggested.

  “Didn’t take those with us,” Suzie huffed.

  “C’mon, we’re not gonna kill it just because we didn’t bring the necessary equipment!” Toshiko cut in.

  “For whomever it concerns…” Jack gasped between heavy breaths, “I didn’t get close enough yet to see many details.”

  “Tosh,” Suzie turned to her, “go and help Jack.”

  Toshiko twitched and was about to turn, when she stopped herself, “I’d rather you go, Suzie.”

  “You can both stay,” Jack threw in with an effort, “I’ll be fine.”

  Actually, Ianto was not so sure that Jack would be fine, as the creature moved toward a more populated area. The captain needed to stop it soon, and if he got into a fight with it, Ianto was certain that the alien would be a dangerous opponent. Due to his connection to Jack, he knew for a fact that their boss felt terrified. Not just for himself but especially for his team. They all were confronted with an unknown creature and he could not help them.

  Momentarily cutting off the comms to the rest of the team, Ianto anxiously queried, “Jack?”

  “I’ll… be fine,” the captain panted. “Almost got it.”

  True to his word, he was only a few yards behind the alien and had to be careful not to be hit by its tail.

  “It’s approaching my position again!” Ianto called out. Distracted by the events, he had not noticed the direction the alien had taken earlier.

  “Stay… where you… are!”

  Jack’s command fell on deaf ears as Ianto felt the captain’s certainty that he would not be able to stop the creature on his own as well. His heart beating in his throat, Ianto climbed out of the car and advanced on the next crossing. The creature came around a corner, closely followed by Jack. The captain tried to stop it, getting into a fight that ended with Jack being tossed aside angrily and smashing into a wall.

  Screaming, the creature looked around and found the young man standing right in the centre of the street.

  “Shit!”

  His voice almost gave out with the hiss.

  Eyes widening at the sight of the muscle packed alien starting toward him, Ianto did not think but reacted. Backwards, aiming with his gun, he stumbled to the still open driver’s door. The alien screamed, tensing for a jump that would bridge the short distance between them. Ianto’s breath caught in his throat as he was certain that claws would slice his flesh any second now.

  Instead, he incredulously watched the creature sag, impaired by a shot from Jack. He was not out of danger, though. Frantically, Ianto climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine, flooring the accelerator. The SUV shot toward the creature and collided. With the alien sprawled on the hood, Ianto drove into a wall. The crash lifted him off his seat and by a hair’s breadth he would have hit the windscreen despite the airbag popping open. Reluctantly he raised his head, knowing he had to make sure that the creature was dead as the ugly crack that he had heard upon colliding was no guarantee.

  Pushing the door open, Ianto reached for his gun. For a few seconds his aim wavered, but then he held the weapon steady. A rattling breath and an arm flailing made him pull the trigger. Three bullets in its head took the alien out.

  With his knees feeling like rubber, Ianto stared at the dead alien. A few seconds later, he recalled that their captain might be badly injured. Stuffing the gun in its holster, Ianto ran around the car. Seeing the limp form, he rushed to his side.

  “Jack!”

  Sickened by the fear and agony that radiated off Jack, Ianto reached for his shoulders to try and turn him around. Heart racing in his chest and breaths catching painfully in his throat, Ianto crouched beside Jack and tried to focus through the emotional turmoil, his own and Jack’s.

  “Ianto?” Jack croaked. “Sorry about the coat.”

  “Never mind the coat,” Ianto muttered, shifting his position in an attempt to settle Jack’s head in his lap.

  “D-don’ go… ‘way.”

  “I’m here, Jack,” Ianto reassured him. “You can let go. I’ll be here when you come back.”

  “Lo-lo…” the sounds faded as Jack passed away.

  Ianto’s heart skipped a beat at seeing the light in Jack’s blue eyes die. He could actually feel it jump in his chest and his pulse thump at the base of his throat. His first reflex was to back off, because holding the dead body gave him the creeps. Thinking of the promise he made, though, he tightened his embrace and his tears began to flow freely, blurring his vision.

  _Can’t stop!_

  All of a sudden, Ianto felt cold. A deep emptiness hollowed him out. Like losing Jack had ripped his insides out.

  Totally thrown off balance, Ianto needed a long time to realize that it was not exactly emptiness that he felt, but the sudden lack of empathic input. Where Jack’s emotions had previously flooded and overwhelmed him, Ianto now found only his own. The sensation was so overpowering that he had to gasp in steadying breaths. In his attempt to regain balance, his hands clawed at Jack’s greatcoat. Only slowly his breathing evened out.

  _Holy shit! It’s one hell of a difference to actually see, and feel, him die._

  With a start, Ianto recalled that the situation was not cleared yet. Listening to the frantic calls of his colleagues, he deduced that the other alien could not be apprehended yet.

  _How long will it take? He came back relatively quickly when the black predator killed him._

  Ianto refrained from exposing Jack’s body to have a look at how he healed. That was just too weird.

  _Any moment now._

  Out of the blue, Ianto felt a surge of panic assault his empathic senses. This time, though, his defences held. A second later, Jack arched off Ianto’s lap with a strangled gasp.

  “Shhhh,” Ianto hushed, stroking the captain’s forehead soothingly. “Easy. You’re safe. Just take a deep breath…”

  Even though his eyes darted around with sheer panic and his hands desperately searched for a hold while subconsciously defending himself, Jack tried to obey the gentle instruction. His breath shuddered.

  “Right, that’s it, cariad,” Ianto muttered softly. “Take another deeeeeeep breath… All right. There you go. Feeling a tad better?”

  All Jack could do was cling to Ianto.

  _He feels different,_ Ianto thought with confusion. _Shocked, helpless, surprised, grateful, vulnerable..._

  Suddenly, a rush of anger crashed against his defences, robbing his breath.

  “What the hell… were you thinking?” Jack tried to snap, but it came out more like a croak.

  “Wasn’t thinking,” Ianto shrugged, even though he felt anything but indifferent.

  “You’re a bad liar, Ianto Jones,” Jack groaned, sinking heavily down on the young man’s lap.

  Ianto felt his disappointment and desperation roll off him.

  “You put yourself in grave danger to protect me,” Jack all but sobbed. “You could have gotten yourself killed!”

  Sheepishly, Ianto worried his bottom lip.

  “Such a brave gesture,” Jack moaned, sitting up and fixating Ianto with a death glare while his voice became stern, “and incredibly stupid as well. _Don’t_ do that, Ianto.”

  A wave of nausea swept over Jack, making him sway a little. When he regained his equilibrium, he asked, “Feeling better?”

  Confused, Ianto shot back, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

  “Probably,” Jack shrugged with a crooked smile. “ _Are_ you feeling better?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do,” Ianto nodded.

  His reply transformed the crooked smile to a wholehearted one.

  “Good.”

  Their gazes met and locked. Ianto’s back tingled in response to the look in Jack’s eyes. He felt drawn in, but before the moment could get even more intense, footsteps drew their attention to Owen who just came to a halt beside them, panting.

  “We had no choice,” he gasped. “The girls are guarding the body to keep prying eyes at bay. I see you had to kill yours as well. That’ll be one hell of a cleanup.”

  Jack ignored the babbling. Right now he could hardly bear anyone’s presence and was grateful that Ianto did not push him. He knew that Owen would not be so considerate and tried to make the most of every second he could sit in relative peace.

  “Did it catch you with its tail, Jack?” Owen queried right on cue. “Quite some punch! Are you injured?”

  “I’ll be fine,” Jack groaned, trying to stand up to prove his physical integrity. A brief surge of nausea threw a spanner in his plan.

  “Sure,” Owen huffed. “You look perfectly fine. Where did it hit you?” Seeing Jack subconsciously hug his own body, answered his query. “Your ribs might be cracked. Let me have a closer look.”

  “No way,” Jack warded off, “We need to clean up first.”

  “He’ll be all right, Owen,” Ianto threw in, trying to distract the nosy doctor. “The blow just winded him.”

  “Oh, so you’re the doctor now?” Owen snarled.

  “No,” Ianto countered, standing up and extending his hand to Jack to help him up, “but I am an empath, and I can tell you the pain in his arse right now is a lot worse than the pain in his ribs.”  
  “Very funny, teaboy,” Owen sneered. Pegging Jack with a stern glare as he laughed loudly at Ianto’s jibe, he added, “We’ll handle the cleanup, Jack.  _You_ , just sit there and rest.”  He turned to walk away, then turned back abruptly and said, “And don’t think the teaboy convinced me, either. The only reason I’m not insisting you let me have a look at you is that nobody with busted ribs could cackle like that at such a bad joke.”

  The medic finally walked away toward the SUV, but that did not release the tension. Ianto just knew that Jack had only laughed to get rid of Owen. They did not need his prying. Not now that Ianto was left totally confused by himself at having admitted that he was an empath, and Jack did not need the attention either.

  “Are you all right?” Jack murmured as he watched Owen gather supplies and stride away to rejoin the rest of the team.

  “Yes,” Ianto answered automatically. “No. Well, um, yes, I think. Probably not quite…” Helplessly he trailed off.

  Carefully lifting his left hand, Jack gently brushed the back of it over Ianto’s cheek. The touch already tingled, but what gave Ianto a real chill was the look in the captain’s eyes that showed depths of emotions and a well of possibilities. For a long moment, their gazes locked, but then Jack’s defences slammed into place, cutting off the connection.

  “Work to do,” Jack declared and pivoted around to go and get what they needed from the SUV. Ianto followed suite. The sooner they could dispose of the carcass, the sooner he could start pretending that nothing had happened.

 

tbc…


	38. Mixed conversations

  Something had happened, though. Ianto could not deny it. As soon as they had finally disposed of the bodies and climbed into the SUV, his attention was not captured by the task at hand anymore and he could feel the difference in his perception of the other team members as well. Apparently, his hypersensitivity had lessened. When he concentrated on ignoring the others, his sense of their emotions was almost back to normal.

  _Is it actually gone or do I have more control now? After being overloaded for days, I’m just glad that it’s not muddling my mind anymore._

  On their way back to the Hub, Jack stopped off at an Italian restaurant to buy dinner for everyone. He did not take no for an answer and came back to the SUV laden with plastic bags full of food containers. They returned to their base where they left the special weapons at the armoury and freshened up before they gathered at the boardroom for dinner.

  Ianto’s mouth watered at the promising smells of fresh tomatoes and the typical Italian herbs. In the middle of the table piled boxes with different pastas and pizzas as well as some salad for the ladies. Jack distributed plates and cutlery. The whole scene felt bizarrely domestic. Ianto helped himself to small portions of scalloped tortellini with bacon and peas in cream sauce, lasagne, and spaghetti aglio e olio, and dug in.

  Slowly, the tension of the mission ebbed away and an amicable conversation developed over dinner. Jack told them about his meeting with Constable Andy Davidson and that the young police officer would act as sort of a liaison with the police from now on. At some point, the subject returned to Canary Wharf and the cyber invasion. Focussing on his food, tasting every bite and chewing thoroughly, Ianto tried to ignore the exchange but then a snippet caught his attention.

  “How did you get to a parallel world anyway?” Toshiko asked. “And when?”

  “That was when Alex still was the boss,” Jack explained. “We once had an artefact that came through in the 1930s and looked like a mirror. Instead of your own reflection it showed you parallel realities, though… and you could step through.”

  “Step through?” Toshiko echoed.

  Jack nodded. “If you touched it, it sent you to the other side.”

  “Wow,” Owen was impressed. “You said _had_ an artefact. Does UNIT have it now?”

  “No,” Jack shook his head. “It was destroyed in the earthquake.”

  “When we were on that fruitless alien hunt in the middle of nowhere?” Owen queried.

  “Yeah.”

  Thinking back to those days, a chill ran down Jack’s spine. He much rather wanted to be in Cardiff, but he knew that staying there might entail disaster. For over a century, he had waited for the Doctor, and it would have been a way too big temptation for him to sit down in the Hub, knowing that the Timelord was parking his TARDIS right atop their base, fuelling off the Rift, and the Slitheen causing the earthquake in her attempt to ride home to Raxacoricofallapatorious on her tribophysical waveform macro-kinetic extrapolator. Jack could not cross his own timeline and so he faked an alert, took his team, and spent two days chasing a couple of aliens that never existed.

  His reply was met by Owen’s groan, “Don’t remind me of that chaos.”

  “I don’t remember you cleaning it up,” Suzie quipped.

  “Right, you were too busy sorting your med bay,” Toshiko took the same line.

  “Which wasn’t even affected,” Suzie hissed.

  “It needed sorting,” Owen defended himself.

  “Which wouldn’t have been necessary if you learned to keep order in your workspace,” Jack threw in.

  “Look who’s talking,” Ianto muttered before he could even think about it. Shocked by his own indiscretion, he stared at their boss, a faint blush colouring his cheeks.

  Instead of being affronted, though, Jack laughed, “Guilty as charged. But that’s what we have you for now, right?”

  Seeing the hopeful glint in Jack’s eyes, Ianto felt a stab of guilt in his gut. Rather than offering reassurance, though, he said, “God knows your archives desperately need sorting.”

  No mention of the duration of his stay with Torchwood Three. Jack noted it with regret while Ianto felt like a traitor at sensing how crestfallen Jack was.

  “Speaking of the archives,” Toshiko piped up, “we haven’t examined those gel packs yet that we took from One. And there’s the contact lenses as well. You said I’d be thrilled. Can we examine those now or do they go straight into the archives?”

  “Well, archiving them would be a horrible waste of resources,” Jack told her with his mouth still full.

  “Sir,” it escaped Ianto.

  Swallowing pointedly, Jack grinned widely and went on, “Chula tech is compatible with ours. With the right interface, the lenses will be an invaluable tool of surveillance or recon. If you’re up to date with everything else, you can perform the standard tests tomorrow.”

  Toshiko beamed at him with joy. Like Suzie, she enjoyed experimenting with the artefacts they collected. Right now, though, Suzie was anything but thrilled.

  “What about my research?” she pushed.

  Jack’s amused grin fell off his features and he fixed his former second in command with a stern look, “You need me to repeat myself?”

  “I need you to explain yourself,” Suzie told him angrily. “Those lenses may be useful, but what are they compared to an artefact that can resurrect?”

  Waiting for his response, Ianto eyed the captain furtively. In his opinion, Jack showed a great deal of restraint by answering her so diplomatically. Ianto did not need his empathic talent to detect the tension that sprung up between them. The whole situation threatened to become really awkward, so he refrained from interfering in any way. A sideways glance at Toshiko showed him that she intently picked at her pasta, and even Owen kept his mouth shut.

  “Adequate.”

  “Pardon?” Suzie queried incredulously. Her indignation was bound to push Jack’s borders.

  Knowing why Jack reacted sensitive to the subject, Ianto anxiously waited for an eruption. To his astonishment, it did not come. Instead, Jack sounded sad when he spoke.

  “You should not be so arrogant as to assume that you have the right to wield such a power,” the captain explained. “That’s what One’s directorate did, and look where it got them. They unleashed a force that they could not control and if it would not have been for the Doctor it would have destroyed this planet.”

  “You can hardly compare one with the other,” Suzie argued.

  “But it already corrupted you!” Jack thundered, and a lot of his anger was caused by hurt. “It enticed you to go behind my back! I have to protect you, Suzie. From yourself as much as from alien threats.”

  Drawing in a deep breath and releasing it slowly, Suzie crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair.

  _Hope I gave her something to think about._

  Actually, Jack was not under the impression that he could make her see reason. Judging by her posture she was only suppressing her anger about Jack’s terminating the glove research. With every second that he waited now without a comment or order, Jack just knew that he was losing her a little bit more. Unfortunately, he did not know how to connect with her. _At some point I must have lost touch with her. Just like with Alex. And when I realized what had happened, it was too late. Why didn’t I see it coming? Didn’t I learn anything?_

  Caught up in his dark musings, Jack did not pay attention to his surroundings anymore until something touched his shin. Something soft. Just for a second, he thought that it was Yvonne who smoothed against his leg, but then he realized that it was toes.

  _Ianto’s toes!_

  The heat shooting into his system at the realization astonished him.

  “Tosh,” Ianto said in a conversational tone as his eyes glided briefly over to Suzie, “didn’t you say that those other things you found also are recon tools?”

  Confused, Jack tried to make sense of Ianto’s words versus action. His toes were still sliding  along Jack’s leg, but there was nothing teasing about the touch. Brushing lightly against his shin, the toes soothed him rather than excited.

  “You mean the spider bots?” Toshiko asked back. “Yes, they scared half of Rookwood hospital to death before I could figure out how to call them back to their base.”

  _Give her something new to focus on!_

  Encouraged by his revelation, Jack said, “Both the lenses and the spider bots sound interesting, but you can’t examine them all on your own, Tosh. Suzie, I want you to test the spider bots.”

  An unwilling snort coming from the technician stirred his anger and he shot a dark glare at Suzie.

  “A sad substitute for the glove,” Suzie spat. “If you want to make amends, you should give me the lenses.”

  “Just pretending that it was your place to question my decisions,” Jack darkly returned, “I would tell you that you get the fancy technology because you are the _technician_ , and Toshiko gets the Chula surveillance system because it requires an intuitive computer program for the interface and she’s the computer wizard.”

  “If you know so much about their technology you should help me,” Toshiko suggested.

  “I’d love to,” Jack told her, “but I only know how to use Chula tech, not how to recreate it.”

  “But that would already help a lot!” Toshiko argued.

  “I already told you all that I know!” Jack laughed. “You need an interface, that we don’t have… yet, to read the lenses’ transmissions and they work with body heat.”

  “How do I have to imagine that? You mean, you don’t need to recharge them?”

  Jack nodded.

  “That would be brilliant!”

  “Are they safe?” Owen asked in a tone aimed to curb her enthusiasm.

  “I don’t know of any side effects,” Jack shrugged, “but you can conduct your own tests to be on the safe side.”

  “Will do,” Owen mumbled around a mouth full of pizza with pepperoni, sausage, ham, chicken, salami, and miniature meatballs. Then he swallowed with an audible gulp and added, “But no one wears them until I am sure they're properly sterilized, and Jack, you’ll have to decide who gets to be the number one guinea pig until I can formulate a cleaning solution that’s a hell of a lot better than anything on the market right now, ‘cause I ain’t treating everybody for conjunctivitis every two weeks. As sensitive as they are, the eyes are surprisingly filthy. Add to that sticking bits of plastic that everybody and his brother has handled in your eyes, and it’s a corneal abscess waiting to happen.”

  “Owen, that’s disgusting!” Toshiko gasped.

  “Yeah?” Owen said with all the mischievous delight of a twelve year old grossing out his sister, “If you think that’s bad, you should read up on fungal keratitis. Mould growing on the cornea. About a third of the time, the patient requires a corneal transplant, if they can get rid of the infection.”

  “Thank you, Owen, I think you’ve made your point,” Jack said. “We’d like to finish our dinner, so maybe you can put the rest of the risks associated with sharing contacts in your report when you finish your safety tests.”

  “Did you know there’s even a viral strain of pink eye that is contracted from faecal matter?” he continued gleefully. “What I want to know is, who takes a shit, wipes their arse, and then puts in their contacts without washing their hands?”

  “Owen!” the other four shouted almost in unison, and there was an audible thump as Suzie kicked him in the ankle under the table.

  “Ow!” he yelped. “All right! I’ll shut up. It’s all right for Tosh to bore us to death with computer mumbo jumbo, but just let me try to educate you lot with information that could _save your sight_ and what do I get for it? Abuse. It’s bloody unfair if you ask me!”

  “We didn’t,” Ianto deadpanned. “Eat your pizza.”

  “Y’know, if you had just gone to Jubilee Pizza, this would have only cost half as much.”

  “True, but there wouldn’t have been anything for the grownups to eat.”

  “Who’s grown up here?” Owen asked with irritation, favouring the younger man with a sceptical look.

  “I never claimed I was,” Jack chuckled roguishly.

  “And you’re working hard to prove that,” Suzie taunted.

  “Nothing wrong with that,” the captain shrugged, stuffing a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth that dangled over his chin like a goatee until he slurped it up.

  Everyone laughed at his demonstration except Ianto.

  “Somehow I feel like I’m the only grown-up sitting at this table,” the Welshman earnestly stated. “And I’m the youngest one.”

  “You look like you’re fresh out of school,” Owen huffed.

  “I shave.”

  “Seriously?” Owen laughed past a bite of pizza. “Where?”

  “I did at your bathroom, actually,” Ianto deadpanned. “Though I had to search for the razor… you don’t need it often, do you?”

  “You used my razor?” Owen gasped, losing some pizza crumbs. “Mate, I seriously wish you would have asked before you did that.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Really, Ianto. I don’t just use it on my face, you know?”

  “What?” Toshiko gasped. “You mean to say you shave your legs?”

  Owen just smirked and shook his head.

  “Your chest then?” Suzie assumed, though she knew better.

  “No, but I have found that when you can get a girl to go down on you, it’s ever so much more exquisite if you’re bare down there,” he said.

  Incredulously, Jack looked at him, thinking that that was a good idea.

  “What?” Toshiko asked in a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

  “He’s saying he shaves his bollocks,” Suzie confirmed.

  “Really?” Toshiko blurted out.

  “Hell, no!” Owen told her. “But I knew the look on the teaboy’s face would be priceless if he thought I did.”

  But when Owen was looking at Ianto now, he could not find a trace of disgust in his features.

  “Maybe we should all test ourselves for infection after sharing dinner with you,” Ianto remarked dryly. “And for your information, I never used your razor. You just had it coming, asking such a childish question.”

  Pouting, Owen put his slice of pizza back down, coming back to his previous subject, “If someone were to fart on a pillow, and you lay on that pillow, and they were carrying a virus for pink eye, you could become infected very easily...”

  “Ewwww! Owen, that’s just gross!” Suzie complained, shoving her plate away.

  “Good that we were about finished anyway,” Toshiko sighed.

  “Is that supposed to scare me?” Ianto smirked, leaning back in his chair.

  “Actually, it should,” Owen lectured, “because all odours are particulate in nature, so when you smell shit, you’re actually inhaling tiny little pieces of…”

  “Owen!” Toshiko and Suzie all but shrieked and scooted back with their chairs.

  “…faeces,” Owen unapologetically finished his sentence.

  “Eeeewwwww,” said Toshiko and fled the boardroom.

  “Doctor, you’re disgusting,” Suzie stated and followed her colleague.

  Ianto just measuredly shook his head.

  “Still true,” Owen shrugged, stuffed the last piece of pizza in his mouth, grabbed another box of pasta, and hurried out on the other side.

  Once the others had left the boardroom, Ianto just sat for a moment, thinking, before he gathered the dishes on a tray to take them back to the kitchenette. Jack watched him with a heavy heart, because it already felt so familiar to see him perform this task.

  “Ianto, please wait a moment,” Jack said. “Take a seat.”

  Dreading what was to come, as he was certain that Jack wanted to talk him into staying, Ianto sank down in the chair next to the captain.

  “I hope you won’t take this wrong,” Jack muttered, “but… I contacted UNIT on your behalf to arrange Lisa’s release.”

  It was all Ianto could do not to gape at Jack as this came unexpected. He had tried already to make UNIT comply and send his fiancé’s remains to a funeral parlour, only to be put off over and over again.

  “I’m sure you’ll understand that she, due to her condition, had to be cremated,” Jack went on, fumbling something out of a waistcoat pocket, “but I made sure that she’s going to be taken to this firm,” with that he put the card down on the tabletop in front of Ianto, “They know that you’ll contact them in order to arrange the details.”

  Before Ianto could even think about a reply, his throat corded up. Battling emotions drove tears into his eyes.

  “What did I do wrong?” Jack asked anxiously.

  “Nothing,” Ianto croaked. “It’s just… I wanted to see her before… They wouldn’t let me.”

  Jack’s expression was full of compassion.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “So… it’s too late now?”

  Now Jack bit his bottom lip. “I’m afraid so.”

  For a long moment, Ianto did nothing but sit and stare at an undefined spot at some point between the wall and his memory. Breathing still was hard with anxiety and grief cording up his lungs.

  “Can I help?” Jack softly asked when the waiting began to wear him down.

  “No, thanks,” Ianto shook his head. “I just need a moment.”

  The moment became so long that it really tried Jack’s patience. Still, the captain remained sitting with Ianto. He knew grief only too well and how it could petrify even the strongest men.

  Out of the blue, Ianto broke the silence, hoarsely saying, “This… well, it’s just… It’s so thoughtful. Thank you.”

  The relief and compassion rolling off Jack almost took Ianto’s breath away. With a small effort, he toned down what he received. His gaze drifted to the glass walls, but he could not see the others from where he was sitting.

  “They don’t really know that side of you, do they?” he softly queried. Jack seemed surprised. “Maybe that’s why Suzie’s resenting me.”

  “What exactly are you talking about?”

  Ianto shrugged. “I can’t label it. It’s just… I’m under the impression that you’re… different around me.”

  _More at ease maybe?_ Jack thought. It still amazed him that he felt so acquainted with Ianto. What they had shared at Canary Wharf certainly played a role in it, but it was not the only reason.

  “I don’t know how I could possibly repay you,” Ianto muttered.

  “Well, there is something…”

  “Don’t!” Ianto cut him short, dreading to know that it was a date that Jack wanted to suggest. He could feel the fleeting mischief in the captain and hoped that was not what he intended to say.

  “I would like to attend the funeral,” Jack told him instead.

  “Oh.” Ianto was caught on the wrong foot. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” At once he realised that Jack took this personally, so he rushed to assure him, “Once more bringing Torchwood into focus, I mean.”

  At that, Jack smirked broadly.

  “I wasn’t aware that the others have already corrupted you into thinking that I couldn’t behave myself,” he teased.

  “They say that about you?” Ianto asked back with genuine concern. “That you can’t behave yourself, I mean.”

  “All the time,” Jack nodded gravely. “The twenty-first century is so inhibited.”

  Hearing amusement return into the captain’s words reassured Ianto a little. The remark led him to another question, though, that he had mulled over for some time already.

  “Jack,” he carefully began, “I didn’t mean to downright ask, but now that you’re talking about the present like this… When were you born?”

  At his query, Jack’s smile got a sad touch and he leaned back in his chair. Ianto was prepared for him to change the subject, but then he answered.

  “A long time ago in the fifty-first century.”

  Ianto did not need to ask how he came to Earth, having relived it through Jack’s memories, but he yearned for another fact to be revealed.

  “I have to admit that I was tempted to look it up in your file,” he said, giving his words what he hoped was an amused note as if the mere idea was ridiculous, “and you don’t need to answer, but…”

  “But you’d like to know how long I’ve been living here,” Jack completed his sentence. He sighed. “I came to Earth in 1869.”

  “Eighteen si…” the words got stuck in Ianto’s throat.

  “Yeah,” Jack groaned. “I used my vortex manipulator to escape the game station, but it took me to the wrong century, burning out.”

  “Stranding you.”

  “Yeah.”

  Sensing Jack’s mood drift into gloom, Ianto decided to try and change the subject, incredulously saying, “You lived through the Victorian Era… and you say the twenty-first century is inhibited?”

  Jack smirked.

  “If you knew the fifty-first, you wouldn’t be asking that question,” he chuckled. Favouring Ianto with a challenging look, he accompanied his next words with a lewd grin, “We would be at it like rabbits instead.”

  Embarrassed, Ianto realized that he gaped. With an effort, he schooled his features back into an earnest expression.

  “See? Exactly what I mean,” Jack snickered before Ianto could think of a come back. “There’s love and sex and commitment, and where we see clear differences, you throw it all in one pot and call it marriage.”

  Ianto frowned.

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Nothing,” Jack shrugged. “I just have trouble reconciling your labels with what I grew up with.”

  Ianto had similar problems. “What’s love for you then?”

  “Very important,” Jack answered without hesitation. “Still I refuse to adopt the misbelief that you can love only one person truly. That’s just not true. We all have so much love to give and it’s wrong to reserve it just for one person.”

  “We don’t,” Ianto argued. “We may have one partner, but we love so many people. Our families, our friends, our children…”

  “Which is not what I’m talking about,” Jack softly interrupted. “Are we still talking about my beliefs in general or certain persons in particular?”

  Thoughtfully, Ianto chewed his bottom lip. While he was curious, he still was reluctant to be so forward to ask. Jack did not seem to have any such qualms.

  “I love them all, you know,” he went on, “Suzie, Toshiko, Owen, Ydris... you.” Pausing, Jack eyed the Welshman intently. “You asked how I could court one while shagging the other. To you it seems to be an oxymoron, right? For me it’s as natural as breathing to love more than just one person.”

  With bated breath, Jack waited for Ianto’s reaction.

  “Sorry, but that sounds callous.”

  “Far from it,” Jack argued. “I think that it’s a very honest form of a partnership to be open about all relationships that you have.”

  “So you wouldn’t mind if your partner had other sexual relationships?” Ianto queried.

  “Of course not,” Jack shrugged. “It’s healthy and if I was in a committed partnership I’d know that none of the others would be a challenge.”

  “Hmmm.”

  Thinking hard, Ianto leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “You don’t agree,” Jack stated.

  “What about reliability?” Ianto asked. “Let’s take a couple as example where he’s abroad, serving his country. How can she trust him to remain faithful?”

  Scooting forward in his chair, Jack issued a challenge, “How can she begrudge him fulfilling an elemental biological need?”

  “How can you commit to a partner without intending to be faithful?” Ianto shot back. “Isn’t such a relationship condemned to fail?”

  “No.”

  “But, Jack…”

  “My parents never were married,” Jack cut him short, “but they lived in a committed partnership for almost forty years. Dad often was away for months, which would have been very lonely if he would not have loved other partners.”

  “You’re using the word love very lightly,” Ianto accused.

  “And I say that having sex with someone without loving him would be abuse,” Jack countered. “Besides, didn’t you just tell me you love many people?”

  “But we don’t _make_ love to all of them!” Ianto said, growing frustrated.

  “Well, we don’t make love to our close relations either,” Jack told him. “That’s just bad genetic hygiene. But in my time, we’re also a lot more physical in our affection. Where you might offer a handshake, we would go for a hug. If you were to offer a hug, we would probably throw in some seriously deep and passionate kissing. And physical intimacy between friends, the simple joy and comfort of another human’s touch, doesn’t make you unfaithful to your partner, if that partner is willing to let you give and receive love from others. Infidelity has nothing to do with sharing your heart. Infidelity is abandoning the one you promised to be faithful.”

As the captain talked, his tone became wistful, and Ianto began to realize how lonely he must be, living in this time where people were possessive of their partners and jealous of their rivals when he was raised in a world where people were free to express the full depth of their affection for everyone they loved.

  Taking a deep breath, Ianto thought about his next question.

  “During all the time you spent on Earth… did you ever love someone enough to commit to him?”

  “Her,” Jack replied. “But the marriage failed.”

  “So she didn’t trust you?”

  “She did,” Jack stated, getting up from his chair, “but she couldn’t live with the fact that I don’t age.”

  Obviously, their conversation was finished. Ianto did not mind. His head was swimming from the quantity of information. Slowly standing himself, he decided to part with a statement to the original subject.

  “I trust you to be professional, sir,” he said, “I’ll let you know when the funeral will be.”

  “Okay,” Jack murmured as he strode to the door to the catwalk.

  “Fine,” Ianto muttered and left toward the kitchenette.

 

tbc…

 


	39. Normalcy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Everyone! Thank you for bearing with me. We’ve been moving and I have to take the blame and admit that I used my rare spare time for nothing but, exactly, doing nothing. I hope you can forgive the wait. Enjoy!!!

  For the first time since he went with Team Cardiff, Ianto did not feel like he was in a state of emergency. He would not say that he had settled in a routine either, but coming to work, making coffee, joining the team meeting, and retreating to the archives appeared more like everyday life today.

  Actually, Ianto’s day had begun with a mild shock at seeing the cage with the spidermice gone, only to recall next that they now lived at the Hub. After readying himself, he went straight to the bakery as he would not stand a chance at sneaking past anyway, and collected the obligatory package with pastries. After chatting a moment with Mrs. Dillard, he went to work where he hardly got to the stairs leading up to the kitchenette before Jack was hot on his trail…

  …or better, chasing the pastries, cooing and begging, and dancing around the young Welshman in pursuit of the bag.

  “You’re a big child,” Ianto chided with amusement and granted Jack one Welshcake, but only one. He climbed up the stairs, locked the bag in the cupboard and started the coffee machine, before he went down to the vaults to greet and feed his spidermice. Emerging from the tunnels, Ianto greeted Toshiko. He prepared the boardroom for the morning meeting and got the thermoses with coffee right in time for the team to gather. They ate and drank and talked about what was planned for the day.

  After the meeting, Ianto brought the dishes back to the kitchenette, washed up, filled another thermos for Jack, and left it at the captain’s office on his way down to the vaults. Now he sat at his desk in the archives, taking notes about the artefacts stacked on the shelves right next to the door. They were the newest additions to the archives and had to be sorted in the established categories. Working with the software he was used to facilitated his task. Doing something familiar, Ianto easily fell into a comfortable pace.

  At Torchwood One his work had not been much different. The biggest difference was, that he now actually handled the artefacts that he archived and not just reports and other related paperwork.

  While Ianto inspected the shelved boxes, he noticed that most of them contained items of low or average dangerousness. If the team had brought something else in from London, they had not stored it here.

  _I should ask Jack about it._

  For now, Ianto continued to enter the descriptions and the assigned codes into the computer. Then he carried the artefacts to the allotted storage area.

  Time flew by.

  Looking at his watch, Ianto could hardly believe that almost four hours had passed.

  “Guess I should show myself upstairs again,” he chuckled to himself as he sorted the papers on his desk into neat stacks. “The world could end and I wouldn’t even notice it down here.”

  “Talking to yourself?”

  Coming from Toshiko, the tease came across quite light-hearted.

  “It’s so silent down here,” Ianto replied with a sheepish smile.

  “That’s why I thought I should check on you,” Toshiko smiled back at him. “That, and that we want to order Italian for lunch.”

  “Fine,” Ianto nodded. “Do you already know what you want? I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “Actually, I came to ask what you’d like to choose,” Toshiko smirked, holding out a PDA at him. “Have a look at the menu.”

  “Thanks.”

  Taking a look at the dishes on offer, Ianto picked scalloped soft cheese wrapped in eggplant with tomato sauce, and penne arrabiata.

  “We usually get garlic bread with our order,” Toshiko explained. “They bake it themselves. Really good.”

  “Sounds like I’m in for a treat,” Ianto lightly teased given her enthusiasm.

  “You are,” she replied earnestly before her lips quirked to a small smirk. “C’mon. Don’t delve too deeply into our archives.”

  “They desperately need someone who does,” Ianto sighed, casting a glance over his shoulder at the rows of shelves.

  “Probably, but we can’t let you hide for too long down here,” Toshiko said, invitingly holding a hand out to him. “C’mon.”

  With a low chuckle, Ianto walked around the desk to join her.

  “You need fresh coffee, huh?” he laughed softly.

  “Fresh coffee never hurts,” she said with a wink and pivoted around to lead the way up to the central Hub.

  When they emerged from the tunnels, they heard Owen holler, “Hey, you dug him out of the files! Can we get lunch now?”

  “Aren’t you independent enough to get lunch without me?” Ianto flatly asked.

  “If it wasn’t for the others, I’d be finished with lunch already,” Owen retorted. “Do you have some of those pastries left?”

  “What for?” Toshiko asked incredulously.

  “As an appetizer!” Owen indignantly declared.

  “So eager, Owen?” Toshiko shot back. “You had six of them this morning. There’s no way you can be hungry.”

  “Since when are we counting?” the medic grunted. “Either way, I’m starving.”

  “You’re always starving,” Jack cut in flatly. “Could be you have a tapeworm.” For a change, he lounged on the sofa, his feet on the chest table. Looking up from the magazine in his hands, Jack pleadingly batted his eyes, “Ianto, could you work some coffee magic?”

    “Your cocky behaviour sure won’t assure my compliance,” Ianto placidly replied, never stopping to think about his disrespecting comment.

  “Oh?” Jack shot back in a challenging tone, sitting up and scooting forward in his seat. Quietly he was pleased to see Ianto readily joining in verbal sparring. “So maybe my title will.” While his tone remained reprimanding, a twinkle in his eyes and the tiniest of smiles quirking his lips gave away his amusement. “I’m the captain here after all. Go and make coffee!”

  “Yes, sir,” Ianto all but stood at attention and swivelled around to head up the stairs to the kitchenette.

  “Oi, Harkness!” Owen snickered, “Now that was slick of you! You really gotta show him who’s the boss.”

  At the latter, Jack’s features darkened.

  “Call me that again and I will show _you_ who’s in charge here,” the captain growled.

  “Quit the empty threats, Jack,” Owen tried to wave it off, “We all know you wouldn’t pull rank over some banter.”

  “No?” Jack challenged anew. “Try me.”

  “Maybe you should get them out and get it over with,” Ianto dryly cut in.

  Both men slightly startled as they had not noticed that he had rejoined them. Jack quickly regained his footing, though, and seemed eager to comply, virtually beaming at Ianto for the brilliant suggestion and reaching for his belt buckle.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Owen shied back. “No need to take the teaboy literary!”

  His features darkening, Jack took a sharp breath to scold Owen for his use of what he perceived as a derogative nickname. Before he could come up with a fitting come back, though, Ianto beat him to it,

  “You don’t have more to offer?” he said with an air of indifference. “I’m getting bored.”

  “Where’s the coffee?” Jack prodded.

  “In the coffee machine,” Ianto shot back wryly.

  “Well, then… go and get it!” the captain chuckled.

  “Yes, sir,” Ianto nodded.

  “Oh, and _do_ you happen to have some pastries left?” Jack queried innocently.

  “I do.”

  Favouring Ianto with a broad smirk, Jack teasingly said, “If there happens to be a Welshcake, I’d love one with my coffee after lunch.”

  “Of course, sir.”

  “And stop saying sir,” Jack groaned.

  “Anything else I can do for you, sir?” Ianto tried to deflect.

  Being offered the perfect opportunity for innuendo, Jack already had a lecherous _’Yeah, some Ianto for a starter’_ on his tongue before he thought better of it, “Not right now, but let’s talk some after lunch.”

  “Of course, sir,” Ianto agreed amiably and finally turned to go and get the coffee.

  While Jack let his view linger on Ianto’s retreating form, he did not pay attention to anything else, but when he was about to return to his lecture, he became aware of the others watching him. Especially Owen looked him over thoughtfully and full of suspicion.

  “What?” Jack prodded with a clueless shrug.

  “Who are you?” Owen challenged. “And what have you done with Jack Harkness?”

  “Pardon?” Confusion filled Jack, sensing that he must have missed something.

  “Well, you can’t be him,” Owen insisted, “because our captain would have shamelessly latched onto that golden opportunity, verbally harassing the teaboy and fantasizing about dragging him to a private place.”

  Darkly, Jack glowered at his medic.

  “You know, Owen,” Toshiko mildly voiced, “sometimes it’s more telling what you’re not saying.”

  Owen snorted wryly.

  “Maybe the teaboy doped his coffee…?”

  The banter went on but after that remark, Ianto was out of earshot. Of course, he had noticed that no lewd comment was coming forward and had been equally surprised. Such reticence was rather unusual for the brash and cheeky captain.

  ‘ _Jack_ never _asked_ me _out on a date.’_

  Ydris’s words pushed into Ianto’s consciousness as he reached for the thermos. Surprised, he noticed that his hand was slightly unsteady. Gripping the handle tightly, Ianto refilled the thermos flask.

  _Last time he asked me about his odds I granted him a quite high percentage,_ Ianto recalled. _About seventy-five percent if I remember right. And he really earned them._

  A smile touched his lips as he thought of the spidermice and that Jack had reluctantly allowed them to live in the Hub now.

  _He’ll learn to accept them. Once he understands that they really can’t harm him, that his fears are irrational, he’ll get over his fright. He was almost there when Benny escaped. Some day soon he’ll even touch them._

  Smirking to himself, Ianto remembered the surreal scene when Jack had almost been scared out of his mind by the small alien animal and yet ecstatic about the raise of his odds for a date with Ianto at his bravery.

  _Maybe I should just give the remaining percent to him and accept his invitation. It’s just dinner after all. After everything he’s done for me, and Lisa and the other victims, he deserves a reward. I mean, how bad could it be? I think he can actually be quite entertaining._

  For a few seconds, Ianto relished the thought before it derailed.

  _Did I just consider going out with Captain Jack Harkness? Am I out of my bloody mind?_

  Something hot touched his fingers and heat of embarrassment shot into Ianto’s cheeks at the realization that he had zoned out to the point that the coffee spilled over the edge of the thermos.

  _Bugger!_

  Grabbing a towel, Ianto wiped at his hand and the thermos. Cursing inwardly, he tossed the cloth onto the kitchen counter. Before he spilled any more coffee, he quickly twisted the plug in and put the thermos aside to clean up the mess on the grid.

  _Great! It’ll drip on the workstations._

  Having a closer look, Ianto was relieved to see that the kitchenette was far away from the desks, the coffee that ran through the grid dripping into the water basin.

  _Did anyone notice?_

  Looking down at his colleagues, he thought that they seemed oblivious. Owen appeared to be discussing something with Toshiko while Jack was engrossed in his reading. Only Suzie remained at her workstation in the back corner of the Hub, fiddling around with some alien tech.

  Just when Ianto glanced at the technician, she raised her gaze to meet his, fixating him with a death glare that sent a chill down his spine.

  _Ignore her._

  Smoothly getting up again, Ianto put some mugs and the thermos on a tray along with sugar, milk jug and spoons, and carried it all down to the chest table where he began to distribute the beverages to his colleagues. Over casual chatter, they nursed their coffees until the food arrived and Suzie went up to the tourist office to get it. Staying in the recreation area this time, they enjoyed their lunch.

 **“** Toshiko, could you pass me the…”

  Owen’s mobile phone bleeped shrilly, cutting the captain off mid-sentence. Owen, being pointlessly surreptitious, checked who might be calling.

  “…garlic bread, please?” Jack finished his sentence, intrigued by seeing a scowl crease Owen’s forehead.

  “I have to take this,” the medic said, putting the rest of his pizza back in the box. “It’s Dr. Passmore, the UNIT psychotherapist in London. I referred that bloke to him after the memorial. He wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t urgent.”

  Jack nodded, even though he did not know why the doctor was uncharacteristically apologetic all of a sudden, and Owen got up to go to his med bay to take the call in privacy and to avoid interrupting their lunch any longer.

  From where he sat, Ianto could see the doctor’s shoulders tense as he bounded down the stairs.

  “Ianto, did you try the garlic bread?” Jack asked to divert their attention. Chewing pleasurably on one of the pieces, he mumbled, “It’s great, isn’t it?”

  “FUCK!”  
  Owen’s shout was clearly audible even coming from the depths of the med bay, and the four people in the rec area all jumped. Next thing they heard was something, presumably Owen’s mobile, colliding with the tiled wall and shattering into countless pieces.

  “Bloody fucking stupid _bastard_ son of a bitch!”

  There was an ugly smacking sound and a pained howl, alarming the team that something had to have gone terribly wrong.

  Ianto had heard enough. Getting up, he crossed the room and ran down the short flight of stairs, ready to subdue the doctor for his own safety, if necessary. Seeing the young medic clutch his left hand to his chest, his face contorted with pain, Ianto quickly strode over to offer assistance. Owen backed away from him, though, apparently affronted by the well-meant gesture.

  “Owen!” Jack barked sharply, coming to a halt beside them. “What happened?”

  “He fucking topped himself, that’s what!” the doctor shouted in a rage, but for the moment he seemed more prone to verbal than physical violence, so Ianto just stood there and let him rant. “The poor, stupid, fucked up wanker left his first appointment with Dr. Passmore and did a swan dive off the Millennium Bridge.”

  “Actually, I meant what happened to your hand,” Jack solemnly specified.

  As if he noticed only now, Owen looked with tear-brimming eyes at his left hand that he cradled in his right against his chest. The knuckles were abraded, blood seeping out and staining his sweater.

  “Punched the cupboard,” Owen sheepishly told him, grimacing as he became even more aware of the pain. At the same time, he both appreciated and loathed the fact that Toshiko and Suzie leaned on the handrail above the med bay, watching anxiously.

  “Looks like it won the fight,” Ianto laconically stated.

  “Smart-arse,” Owen shot back.

  “Let me have a look at it,” Jack demanded, reaching out for the doctor’s hand, but Owen backed off once more.

  “I can take care of it myself,” he grunted. “Leave me alone.”

  “Not going to happen,” Jack shook his head. “C’mon. Let me see.”

  Before he could convince his medic, though, an alert interrupted them.

  “Not now,” Jack groaned. “Tosh! Check what it is!”

  “On it!” she replied and hurried back to her workstation.

  Expectantly, Jack held out his hand until Owen finally relented and placed his injured hand in Jack’s. Beside them, Ianto sucked in a hissing breath between his teeth, when he saw how Owen struggled to stretch his fingers. The medic himself gritted his teeth in a vain attempt to hide his pain.

  Jack pretended not to notice any of it while he took a first look at the abraded digits.

  “Weevil alert!” Toshiko shouted across the hub.

  Her anxious tone piqued the captain’s interest. “How many?” he yelled back, activating the Bekaran scanner.

  “At least two!”

  Grunting unwillingly but knowing that Toshiko and Suzie could not deal with the situation with just the two of them, Jack pushed the scanner in Owen’s expecting hand. “Take it easy, Owen,” he said. “You cracked your knuckles. We’ll deal with the weevils. Ianto, you’ll stay with Owen.”

  “I don’t need a babysitter!” the medic complained indignantly.

  “But maybe another set of hands,” Jack teased, though unrelenting, and turned to Ianto, “Make sure that he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Then Jack whirled around and vanished up the stairs, leaving the two younger men on their own.

  “There he goes, saving the world,” Owen muttered and it was evident that he would have preferred to go with him instead of being stuck in the med bay. Seeing Ianto stare thoughtfully at the dented metal of the cupboard door, he snapped, “What!”

  “Nothing,” Ianto shrugged, turning his attention back to Owen. “You delivered one hell of a punch if you broke your fingers.”

  “Cracked, not broken.”

  “Same difference,” Ianto teased. “What was all that about?”

  Now Owen was the one becoming thoughtful. While trying to decide what to say, he reached for some bandages.

  “Remember the guy who taunted you at the memorial service?” he asked. Ianto nodded. “Turned out he was not just being mean, he suffered from sleep deprivation, unable to catch a few hours of sleep due to nightmares. He had not slept since the battle.”

  “So you referred him to the UNIT psychologist.”

  “Yeah… he went to see him yesterday, and this morning, he was found belly up in the Thames.”

  Ianto did not comment as he gently removed the dressing material from Owen’s grip and began to bandage the injured hand. Twice, the medic corrected him, but aside from that, he just sat and let Ianto work, watching his every move even when he was already done. Puzzled, Ianto lifted an eyebrow at him.

  “I swear to whatever deity still deigns to watch over our fucked up species, that I’ll take it real personal if you kill yourself over Canary Wharf,” Owen ranted. “I’ll get that ruddy glove of Suzie’s and bring you back just to yell at you until your ears smart. You sure won’t dare to die on us again after that.”

  At first, Ianto felt affronted, but then he realized that a deep-set worry and genuine affection hid behind the caustic words and a mischievous smirk cracked his features. “I love you, too, Dr. Harper.”

  Glowering darkly at the younger man, Owen shot back, “Hell, you spent too much time with Captain Sunshine already.”

  Ianto chuckled despite the grave mood between them. It was all too clear that Owen was not finished yet and he waited for the medic to sort his thoughts.

  “I tell you something, Ianto,” Owen went on in an earnest tone that did not quite seem to fit the usually acerbic doctor. “Get out while you still can. You said yourself that you still need to conclude certain things. Use that opportunity to get away from here. Forget about Torchwood and live the life you want. Find someone to love and have kids. That’s what you wanted in the first place, wasn’t it?” He paused to give Ianto time for a confirmation that was not forthcoming. “You’re not made to be a field agent, Ianto. Do you really want to waste away down in the vaults, sorting our archives?”

  “You sound like you want to get rid of me,” Ianto half-heartedly teased.

  “After what just happened? I tell you, your coffee’s the best I’ve ever had, but I’ll rather do without in favour of seeing you alive and well and happy.”

  “Careful, Owen,” Ianto snickered, “you’re ruining your reputation. People might start thinking you actually give a damn.”

  “A dreck reputation if all my patients are killing themselves.”

  Stunned by Owen’s sudden self-deprecation, Ianto chose to busy himself with sorting what he had needed for the bandage back into the drawers. Whatever he might say likely was going to be the wrong thing, so he remained silent. Owen’s hand on his arm stopped him.

  “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Tidying up.”

  “This is _my_ med ward, you know?”

  Slowly, Ianto looked around at him, a wry smile touching his lips.

  “And upstairs is your workstation that you care to leave behind strewn with candy wrappers, used coffee cups, and food containers.”

  “This is different,” Owen grunted, taking a dressing out of Ianto’s hand and pushing it into another drawer. “Here everything has its place.”

  “I know,” Ianto shrugged and put a scissor into its ancestral place.

  “Oh, really?” Owen challenged.

  “Yep,” Ianto smirked, “I know everything.”

  With that, he left the medic standing and climbed back up to the rail level. Seeing the remains of their lunch, Ianto went to get a plastic sack and began to gather all the rubbish that was scattered on the chest table. As he could not stand the sight of more litter, he continued on to the workstations, thoroughly picking what was definitely not needed anymore and letting it vanish in the sack. Ianto just thought that he should collect the used mugs next to go and wash them, when he froze.

  _What am I doing here?_

  Bewildered, he looked down at his hand holding the sack and slowly, he put the last can of soda that he still held to the other rubbish. Motions that had become second nature to him, and yet they felt wrong. Raising his gaze, he focused on his surroundings, looking around in wonder as if he was seeing the central Torchwood Hub for the first time.

  _It’s become routine! Working here, caring for the team, actually feels normal! How the hell did that happen?_

  All of a sudden, Ianto could not breathe anymore. His chest constricted as if someone was sitting on it. Feeling lightheaded, Ianto sank down where he stood, coming to sit on the concrete floor, and cried.

 

tbc…


	40. Goodbyes - part 1

  “I’m really trying not to take it personally,” Jack grumbled as they entered the tunnels from the underground garage.

  “Jack, really,” Suzie returned with disgust. “We’re talking about _weevils_.”

  “Not my fault none showed up, though,” Jack huffed. “I’m irresistible!”

  “For everyone but Ianto…” Suzie muttered not as inaudibly as she probably thought. She did not notice it, but Jack pulled an indignant face at her remark.

  “As we registered an actual rift spike, it’s possible that a new one came through,” Toshiko tried to redirect their conversation to the original subject. “Maybe one of the locals guided it down into the sewers?”

  “That would explain why we got more than one weevil signature,” Jack mused aloud. “Though I doubt that the locals picked the new one up. It’s more likely that it followed its instinct to mate.”

  “Which brings us back to you?” Suzie groaned.

  “Ewww!” Jack whinged. “They’re barely sentient.”

  “So?”

  “So, I don’t go there with someone who’s not able to consent!”

  “I so don’t want to further explore the implications…” Suzie drawled and sped up her steps to get ahead.

  “At least they don’t practise post-coital cannibalism, but I think the foreplay could get a little rough, even for me,” Jack rambled. “And the way they smell... Ugh! I mean, I do like to cuddle afterward, but I just don’t think I could do it, and it would be rude to just get up and walk away.”

  “Jack!” Suzie barked and turned to look at him over her shoulder. “Are you seriously considering the implications of Weevil-sex?”

  “Considering? Yes,” Jack said with a winning grin. “Seriously? No. What can I say? I’m a guy. I like sex. I like thinking about sex. A lot.”

  “You’re impossible.”

  “Been called worse…” he muttered at her retreating back.

  They entered the Hub through the armoury. By the time that Jack passed the doors, Suzie had already reached her workbench. He let her go, hoping that she would cool her temper with working on some alien tech. Ever since he had taken her off the glove research, she was in a really bad mood.

  Together with Toshiko, he went up to the rail level where they found Owen and Ianto lounging on the couch.

  “Have you been successful, sir?” Ianto asked politely.

  “Not a sign of the weevils,” Jack shrugged. “When we got there they were already gone.”

  “Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

  “For now…” the captain mused, dreading that they might come back up, causing more trouble than they might have done the first time.

  “You wanted to talk with me?” Ianto queried.

  “Right,” Jack agreed.

  The captain showed less enthusiasm than Ianto had expected. Jack seemed tired, but he could not determine what the reason might be.

  Jack harboured similar thoughts about his new archivist that were even fuelled when Ianto got up, casting a long look at Owen before he started for Jack’s office. There was more going on between them than met the eye, and Jack found it difficult to dismiss the thought. He could not shake the feeling that a change lay ahead and he just knew that he would not like it one bit.

  With a sigh, he followed Ianto inside and closed the door for some privacy. He went around his desk and sat down in his executive chair. Sitting right across from Ianto like that made him feel like the boss that he was, which was not a usual sentiment for him.

  “All right, here we are,” Ianto stated. “What’s the subject?”

  “Well,” Jack muttered, weirdly feeling like being caught on the wrong foot, “we need to talk about some things you said while we were still at Torchwood One.”

  “Like…?”

  “Like who gave the predators to Torchwood,” Jack addressed the first subject he could think of. Of course, he had mentally prepared a list of what he still needed from Ianto, but all of a sudden the information seemed hard to grasp.

  “Another institute,” Ianto told him. “I don’t know which one, though. All I heard about them came from the grapevine.”

  Thoughtfully, Jack fingered the manila folder of a file on his desk. The report it contained had him worried.

  “Something about them is bothering you,” Ianto said and it was not a question.

  “Yeah. Giant black predators that break through security doors as easily as opening a can of sardines, are bothering me.”

  “They’re dead now, right?”

  Jack sighed. “Yes, but who’s to say that there aren’t more where those five came from?”

  Ianto could not deny the truth of that assumption.

  “I’ll figure it out,” Jack mused aloud before he moved on to the next subject, “What about those addresses? You said you knew where One kept further archives?”

  At that, Ianto scowled.

  “Do you ever read the correspondence that crosses your desk?” he asked back with a hint of amusement.

  “Of course!” Jack declared indignantly. “Why?”

  “Because I already compiled a list and put it on your desk.”

  “Alright…”

  Surprised, Jack leafed through the papers to his left and right until he found the mentioned list.

  “Ooops.” Sheepishly, he smiled at Ianto. “I’d be lost without you.”

  “Don’t exaggerate, sir,” Ianto lightly teased. “I’m sure you won’t have any problems checking the warehouses out without me.”

  Hearing that, Jack’s face fell.

  “Awwww, I was hoping we would go and explore them together.”

  Jack’s disappointment was palpable. Feeling the sudden desire to lighten his mood, Ianto playfully replied, “Don’t tell me you have a warehouse fetish as well.”

  Puzzled, Jack cocked his head to the side, querying, “As well?”

  “I love offices, you said,” Ianto chuckled at the memory and at how peculiar the idea seemed. “You said, they’re exotic.”

  “Oh, yeah! One of the most exotic places I know!” Jack enthused, only to realize that he did not recall he had mentioned it to Ianto. “When did I say that?”

  “When we searched files down in the secure archives,” Ianto smirked. “How comes that offices are so exciting for you?”

  “Well, loving that officey feel. I always get excited in these places…” Seeing Ianto’s clear irritation, he went on, “You know, office romances, photocopying your butt… those places are bursting with unreleased sexual tension!”

  “You could never have worked at One,” Ianto chuckled lowly, “You’d never have gotten anything done.”

  “Probably not,” Jack shrugged, but then a mischievous grin cracked his features as he imagined the possibilities. At the same time he relished the fact that Ianto seemed comfortable enough to banter with him. After the traumatic emotional and mental experiences they had gone through, that was no matter of course.

  “You are not going to coax me into staying with Three,” Ianto shattered his hopes.

  “You made your decision?” Jack anxiously asked.

  “You knew I wouldn’t stay.”

  The statement made Jack’s heart ache. His throat tightened, keeping him from answering.

  “I won’t leave today. Or tomorrow,” Ianto said. “Though, I’d like to leave this afternoon for London. The funeral will be tomorrow.”

  “Okay,” Jack all but croaked.

  “Don’t have a coronary,” Ianto calmly told him, reaching into one of his jacket pockets to find a card that he held out for Jack. “It’ll be a rather private ceremony at eleven o’clock, here at this small cemetery outside of London.”

  With trepidation, Jack read the address on the simple remembrance card that Ianto had given him. Attending the funeral was one more step toward closure for Ianto, and one step closer to losing the young archivist for Jack. His decision was long made, though, and he would not back down now.

  “I’ll be there,” he tersely said. “Will you stay at your flat?”

  “Yes.”

  “I could pick you up there tomorrow morning,” Jack suggested. “Would that be okay?”

  This time, Ianto hesitated for a moment before he nodded. “I don’t want to drive myself.”

  “Half past nine, I’d say then.”

  “Okay.”

  For a long moment, they just sat in silence, both men deep in thought. Of course, Jack knew that he could not postpone the inevitable forever.

  “Well, as long as you don’t hide any more secrets, that’s all for now,” he finally said.

  “Nothing Torchwood related,” Ianto replied lightly, eliciting a smirk from the captain. “I’ll go back to the archives then.”

  “Alright, do that.”

  Smoothly, Ianto got up from his seat. On his way to the door, he paused.

  “Anything wrong?” Jack demanded when he saw him stand there.

  Ianto shook his head as he turned back to Jack. “No. I was just wondering… aren’t you playing our game anymore?”

  Taking a deep breath, Jack tried to judge where Ianto intended to go with this, before he answered carefully, “I figured that it was not appreciated anymore. My invitation stands, though. You decide.”

  Slowly, Ianto nodded.

  “I see. It’s just… you know, it would have been such a waste of energy for you to go to such lengths only to give up a yard before you reached the goal.”

  An almost vicious grin cracked Jack’s features. Expectantly he leaned forward in his chair, his hands on the tabletop, as he asked challengingly, “What are my odds anyway?”

  “Ohhhh, I’d say about ninety-nine percent in favour, sir,” Ianto told him without missing a beat.

  “Really?” Jack asked, surprised by how fast his heart was beating at the prospect. As far as he could remember back, only one man had been so much work before… and he was equally worth it. “Does that mean you’d go out with me?”

  “Well,” Ianto muttered, tongue in cheek, “I don’t know. You haven’t asked me yet.”

  “Oh, I guess I haven’t, have I?” Jack could not believe it: he was feeling himself blush. “Maybe that’s because I’m afraid of rejection.”

  “Oh, I doubt it, sir,” Ianto responded. “From what I’ve heard, that would be an alien experience for you.”

  “No, Ianto, I learned long ago that cross-species experimentation can be hazardous to your health,” Jack told him with an expression that Ianto could not decipher. “You wouldn’t believe how many things out there indulge in post coital cannibalism.”

  Rather than admitting that he just could not tell when Jack was serious and when he was jesting, Ianto decided to play along, “Really, sir? I’ve known all along that you were quite - shall we say liberated? - but I never pegged you for the kinky type.”

  “Relax, Ianto,” Jack said. “When I said you looked good enough to eat, I didn’t mean it literally.”

  “Thank god,” Ianto sighed. “You’d need a hearty appetite.”

  “Don’t try me,” Jack teased with a wink. Both men chuckled at his joke, but then an awkward silence spread between them. It took a while for Jack to gather his courage to softly ask, “So… will you go out with me? For dinner?”

  The whole game that they were playing should have been a warning for Ianto, but he still could not anticipate what would follow his soft, “Yes.”

  Jack’s face lit up like the flood lights at Millennium Stadium. Just for a second, he seemed to freeze with astonishment before he suddenly thumped his fists on the tabletop, shouting “Yes!” at the top of his lungs. He shot up from his executive chair that rolled back and into the wall. Jack whirled around his own axis, yelling “Yes!” over and over again. All Ianto could do was watch in shock.

  “Everything okay?” Owen’s voice startled him out of his rigour.

  Looking back over his shoulder, Ianto saw the medic peeking in through the half opened door.

  “We’re fine,” Ianto said. “He’s just excited.”

  “I thought that’s his default setting…” Owen muttered, watching their captain with suspicion.

  Jack stilled, standing straight in a winner’s pose and beaming at the younger men. Owen quickly noticed that Jack only had eyes for Ianto.

  “I’m outta here,” he muttered when Jack did not care to elaborate and did a tactical retreat.

  Ianto stared at Jack and could only wonder at his exuberant joy.

  “What can I say?” Jack shrugged apologetically. “I was waiting two weeks to hear that answer.” Still beaming at Ianto, he softly added, “Hoping…”

  “Now that I did agree, I’m not so sure anymore,” Ianto retorted with a low chuckle.

  “I just got good news!” Jack defended himself. “Can’t I express my happiness?”

  “If that’s how you express your joy about good news…” Ianto trailed off, unable to put the implications shooting through his head into words.

  “You should know me by now,” Jack chuckled. “My bark’s worse than my bite.” Seeing Ianto sceptically cock his head to the side, he gently asked. “Would Saturday be all right?”

  “Saturday would be fine.”

  “All right,” Jack smiled happily. “Saturday. I’ll make the reservations. What would you like to have? Italian? Chinese? Indian…?”

  “You decide,” Ianto gently interrupted. “I’ll be happy with whatever you choose.”

  At that, Jack looked crestfallen.

  “What’s wrong?” Ianto lightly prodded.

  “I… want it to be perfect.”

  Laughing softly, Ianto replied, “Let’s meet, eat, and get back home uninterrupted by the Rift and it’ll be perfect.” Jack’s sceptical expression made him laugh out loud. “Just be yourself,” he reassured him and headed for the door.

  Jack could not find it in him to answer. All he knew was that he would really, really hate to see Ianto leave.

 

xXx

 

  “I’ll be buggered!” Owen exclaimed when he happened to overhear Ianto telling Toshiko the latest news. “You’re really going out for dinner with the captain?”

  “Yes.”

  Hearing his simple reply, the medic gaped at Ianto, “Are you out of your bloody mind?”

  “Jealous because you’ve never mustered the courage to try it?” Ianto shot back with a challenging smirk.

  Wrinkling his nose, Owen grunted, “I’ll never be _that_ desperate.”

  “Yeah, well, in case of emergency you still have two hands…” Ianto’s view roamed along Owen’s frame, “well, that’s one right now…”

  “Careful, teaboy!” Owen enjoined, threateningly lifting his good hand.

  “What? No come back to offer?” Ianto chuckled. “Did I outsmart you?”

  “You wish,” Owen hissed, giving Ianto a smoldering look. “I warned you that the captain knows no shame. Don’t come running and complaining later that you can’t show your face in Cardiff anymore. Tosh, you’re my witness. I warned him.”

  “Yes, you did,” she laconically replied, unimpressed.

  “I can’t believe it,” the medic muttered to himself as he strolled off toward the med bay, “After all the stories we’ve told him… Poor bugger. I’d love to be a fly on the wall at that restaurant…”

  Ianto could not help but laugh at his friend’s antics. Beyond the good-natured teasing he could sense genuine concern, which warmed his heart. With a sigh, he leaned against the edge of Toshiko’s workstation and watched Owen vanish down the stairs.

  “You’re looking good,” Toshiko murmured.

  “I’m feeling better.”

  “So you’ve made your decision.”

  Ianto nodded. “I’m about to make the necessary arrangements.”

  “When will you leave us?” Toshiko prodded, a hint of grief audible in her soft voice.

  “Soon.”

  For a moment, neither felt compelled to go on.

  “You shouldn’t encourage Jack,” Toshiko finally broke the silence. “I have a feeling that losing you is going to hit him hard.”

  “Actually, that’s why I accepted his invitation,” Ianto told her. “To show him that there’s no bad blood between us… and to do him a favour before I go.” Her sober expression woke first doubts. “You think Owen’s right? Did I make a mistake accepting Jack’s invitation for dinner?”

  “No and yes,” Toshiko mused with a lopsided shrug. “I think he’s concerned for the wrong reasons. You already showed us that you can handle Jack. Still I think that that dinner has the potential to become disastrous.”

  “In what way?” Ianto queried, unease clenching his insides.

  “It’s just a feeling, you know?” she softly went on, “You said you and Jack, you’re on good terms now. Why not leave it at that? Why risk it by dating him?”

  “I didn’t think I was taking any risk.” Slowly, confusion joined his unease. “In fact, I was thinking of it more as a farewell dinner.”

  “I just don’t want you to leave with unresolved conflicts ,” Toshiko tried to explain. “I hope that you’ll remember us kindly.”

  “I will,” Ianto quickly reassured her. “I really like you, Tosh. I just can’t stay with Torchwood.”

  “So we’ll see you again?” Toshiko hopefully asked.

  “I’ll be in touch,” Ianto promised. “Then we’ll see.”

  “Okay.”

  Ianto thought that she did not appear very assured, but it was all he could offer right now.

  “I’ll go and do some more sorting,” he declared and returned down to the vaults.

 

xXx

 

  From his office, Jack watched the exchange through the circular windows. A part of him rejoiced at seeing Owen and Ianto banter, but another part of him was already grieving. He had hoped that the friendships that Ianto formed with Toshiko and the medic would compel him to stay, but now he could not deny anymore that he was wrong. Ianto was going to leave soon.

  _I would lose him anyway,_ Jack told himself flatly. _It’s just as well that he’s leaving now before I get really attached._

  His heartache quickly turned into anger.

  _He asked me who I was stringing along… rather looks like_ he’s _the one giving_ me _the runaround._

  Jack had to admit that it hurt. More than it should do.

  _I’ll challenge him a bit! Let’s see about making the most of our encounter._

  Jack’s imagination created lustful scenes that made his skin tingle with expectation. While his view still lingered on the archivist, his mind’s eye was set on a wide hotel bed and all the erotic possibilities.

  Then seeing a turn of Ianto’s head and the miniscule change of his expression catapulted him back to reality.

  _You’re such an idiot, Jack Harkness, thinking about exploiting his attempt at making concessions! Being nice to me, accepting my invitation, can’t be easy for him. Tomorrow’s the funeral of his fiancé, for God’s sake! That he’ll date me only a day later doesn’t mean he intends to fall into bed with me!_

  Right then, Jack carefully avoided being honest to himself. Accepting the true reason for his bitterness would have hurt even more than mourning a missed chance. Truth was that he did not lust for the young Welshman as much as he desired his company, his wit, and his understanding. Jack had fallen fast and hard and only denying that truth to himself kept him reasonably sane in the face of Ianto’s departure.

  When he saw Ianto go into the tunnel down to the archives, Jack took a deep breath in order to brace himself. Before he could stride out into the central Hub to gather his team around him, he was distracted by movement beside his desk.

  “Hello, Yvonne,” he cheered with true joy at seeing his calico cat. “Where have you been?”

  During the last days, he had not spotted her and wondered why she stayed away. As she had eaten her food, he had not worried too much about his independent pet, but he was still astonished that he did not even catch a glimpse at her for days.

  As she smoothed around his legs, rubbing her head against his shin, he bent down to try and pet her, but she wound out of his reach.

  “What’s up, sweetie?” he queried. “Is something bothering you?”

  With an accusing meow, she prowled around him, avoiding his outstretched hand.

  “Do you feel neglected? I didn’t have much time for you recently, did I?”

  Meowing again, she came a bit closer and lightly bumped her head against Jack’s open palm. When he reached out to pet her this time, she let him. Suddenly, Yvonne hissed and backed off, arching her back.

  Looking around at what alerted his cat, Jack saw Suzie step into his office. With an angry hiss, Yvonne darted toward the door, paused just two steps away as if she thought about which way to choose, and shot past his technician. Like a flash, she was gone.

  “Weird cat,” Suzie remarked as she put two manila folders on Jack’s desk. Without acknowledging the captain’s presence, she left again.

  _Weird Suzie_ , Jack thought as he watched her go. _Guess she’s still angry with me for terminating her research._

  Thinking of the glove, he recalled how Yvonne had reacted to Suzie activating the artefact, and all of a sudden the cat’s animosity made a lot more sense.

  “She must be very irritated if she’s not just avoiding Suzie but the populated Hub altogether,” Jack mused aloud.

  Like nothing else before, Yvonne’s reaction confirmed his decision against Suzie’s research. Using the glove was wrong. Period.

  _I should keep an eye on her. Suzie can be bloody stubborn after all._

  Bracing himself, he put on a brave face and strode out of his office to gather his team around him.

 

tbc…


	41. Goodbyes - part 2

**London**

Friday, 9:30 a.m.

 

  When he stepped out of the front door, Ianto started at the impressive sight right in front of him. Captain Harkness waited beside his car, hands stuffed into his coat pockets, and the wind ruffling his dark hair. The captain had buttoned up his coat against the morning cold. It was not the towering figure that took Ianto’s breath away, though, but the classic car parked on the curb.

  Finished in fir green, the MG roadster had a prominent radiator grill between the round headlights, separate wings, and running boards. A spare tyre was mounted on the boot. All chrome parts from front to rear and the wire wheels glistened in the morning light. The convertible soft top was closed in case it might rain.

  When Ianto lifted his gaze to meet Jack’s, he saw the captain smirk.

  “Yours?” Ianto simply asked.

  “Yep,” Jack curtly replied and reached for the handle to open the door.

  Ianto stepped forward and paused to take in the interior before he sank into the passenger’s seat. Jack walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat.

  “Let me guess,” Ianto lightly teased, “You bought this when it was new.”

  “I did,” Jack proudly told him. “MG TF Roadster, year of construction 1954. Wood-framed body. XPEG type engine. It’s all original, the colour, all wood and metal panels, frame and other components…” Feeling Ianto’s intense gaze on himself, Jack trailed off.

  “Is it very big?”

  “Is what very big?” Jack asked back.

  “Your garage.”

  Jack scowled.

  “Your impertinent grin, sir. It’s screaming ‘I want to boast with my treasures’.”

  “Yeah, well, at least you didn’t tell me that the car says I’m overcompensating,” Jack muttered and pulled a face at him. “Actually, I don’t drive them very often.” He paused to start the car and file into traffic before he added with a broad grin, “It’s not really a garage… more like a warehouse.”

  Ianto chuckled.

  “How many cars do you have?”

  “A few,” Jack stated. “Not as many as Tosh has egg cups.”

  This time, Ianto laughed softly. “She has an amazing collection.”

  “Yeah.”

  Ianto thought that this _yeah_ sounded like Jack claimed the same statement for his classic cars as well. _If this roadster is just the tip of the iceberg, he may be right with that assessment._ He knew a piece of excellent craftsmanship when he saw it and this car certainly was one.

  “Actually,” Jack started in a fake serious tone that harboured amusement, “I think that Owen’s porn collection is much bigger.”

  And finally, Ianto could not help but laugh out loud.

  “Are you jealous?” he teased.

  “Jealous?” Jack shot back incredulously. “Nah… Been there, done that. Who needs pictures when you’ve got memories?”

  Once more, Ianto uttered a soft laugh before he fell silent. Jack did not prod and kept driving. He had to work hard on not looking at the younger man who looked so gorgeous in his dark anthracite suit. Teasing him now would not be appropriate. At some point, though, he could not stand the silence anymore.

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  “No,” Ianto gently replied. “Nothing you’re not already doing. Thanks.”

  Jack nodded curtly and kept driving. Knowing that it was most likely that Ianto would not appreciate his babbling, he refrained from striking up a conversation. When they reached the cemetery, Jack parked near the entrance. Ianto was about to alight from the car, when he spotted Toshiko and Owen waiting on a bench under a huge chestnut tree. He had mentioned the funeral, but neither of the others had said anything about coming.

  “Ianto?” Jack carefully prodded.

  “I’m just surprised, that’s all,” Ianto muttered and finally climbed out of the car. Taking a deep breath, he purposefully walked over to his co-workers.

  Both got up from the bench. While Owen nodded at him curtly, Toshiko stepped forward and spontaneously wrapped Ianto up in a warm embrace.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered before she released him. “You chose a nice place.”

  “We chose it together,” Ianto said. “We knew about the danger… so we were looking for something peaceful. Lisa found it and we…” he choked, “we made reservations…”

  With the explanation the grief welled up inside of him anew. Unwilling to cry before they even entered the cemetery, Ianto fought the tears down.

  “Don’t want to be the last to arrive,” he muttered and strode toward the entrance.

  As he passed the gate, he spotted a small group of people further down the path. Even from the distance he recognized them and slowly walked in the same direction. Turning left, he closed in on the group and met them beside a freshly opened grave near the edge of the cemetery. The sun filtered through the leaves of an old willow that guarded the place.

  “Ianto,” the elderly lady closest to him greeted him, stretching out her weathered hands to take his in her own. She drew him closer and reached up to the back of his neck to pull him down. He had to bend forward and she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him desperately.

  “Millie…” Ianto’s voice broke.

  “Who are your companions?” the man beside the lady demanded to know. He appeared to be in his mid-forties and exuded protectiveness as he stepped slightly between Millie and the newcomers.

  “Colleagues of ours,” Ianto replied, releasing the woman from his embrace.

  “Jack Harkness,” the captain beat him to an introduction. “This is Dr. Sato, and Dr. Harper.”

  “We’ve never heard your names before,” the dark-skinned man stated matter-of-factly. “Did you work with Ianto?”

  “I’m the supervisor of the firm,” Jack explained. “As the highest ranking surviving officer I felt obligated to come and express my condolences.”

  “Sir,” Ianto retreated onto neutral ground, refraining from calling Jack _captain_ , “Lisa’s grand aunt Millie Forsythe, her brother, Dr. Harlan Hallet,” with that he gestured at another young woman who stood a little back, “and Brynna Forsythe.”

  Straightening his already impressive posture, Jack gently yet firmly spoke, “I am very sorry for your loss.”

  “Well, it’s good of you to come, Mr. Harkness,” Harlan bit out. “But don’t you think perhaps it’s just a bit too little, too late? If you’d had as much concern for your employees a few weeks ago as you seem to have for their survivors now, my sister might still be alive.”

  “Harlan!” Millie hissed. “For shame!”

  “I’m sorry, Auntie!” he replied. “But if he’s one of the big shots from the place where she worked, I think he owes us some answers! How did my sister die, Mr. Harkness? At the very least you owe us the truth about that!”

  “Mrs. Forsythe, your nephew is right,” Jack solemnly went on. His compassionate pain was palpable as he continued, “It was not my intention to provoke anyone with coming here. As much as I wish I could have done something to prevent this from happening... it was not in my power. Nobody of the old directorate made it out of the tower alive. We barely survived ourselves... And I wish just as much that I could give you the answers you are craving. Unfortunately, I don’t have anything to offer you except my sincere condolences.”

  “You can take your condolences and....”

  “Stop it, Harlan!” Brynna broke in. “Just stop it! Lisa loved what she did, and whatever it was, we all know now it wasn’t processing insurance claims. She must have had her reasons for keeping her work a secret from us, and I’m sure she knew it could be dangerous.” Turning to Jack, she said, “Mr. Harkness, thank you for coming. I know you lost a lot of people that day. It’s very kind of you to be here for us.”

  Hearing the sound of footsteps, Brynna looked around Jack to see who was approaching. The woman striding toward them wore a long black coat and an astonishingly angry expression with which she fixated Ianto. Ianto, who looked like he was searching for the proverbial hole to vanish into. Knowing there was no way to avoid her, though, he squared his shoulders and waited for the woman to arrive.

  When she stepped up to the group, she shifted her attention to Lisa’s family, extending her hand toward Brynna who was closest to her and introducing herself, “Hello, I’m Rhiannon Davis, Ianto’s sister. I was so sorry to hear about Lisa.”

  With the latter, she shot a quick glance at her brother. It was a look that he recognized from their youth and that went straight to his core. She was not finished with him and he just knew she was going to read him the riot act later.

  It actually cheered him a little to realize she could still be angry with him. It was something normal, and he needed normal right now. And it was nice to know she cared enough to be angry with him for shutting her out when what he really needed was support.

  Feeling an unexpected surge of affection for his older sister, Ianto wrapped her in a hug like he used to do when they were children and said, “I’m glad you came.”

  “Where else would I be, you git?” she muttered back. “Don’t think this means we won’t have words later.”

  The priest quietly cleared his throat then, and said, “If everyone’s here, perhaps we should begin?”

  As Harlan nodded, the priest stepped up in front of the small group. Ianto really tried to follow the ceremony but could not help but zone out. Peripherally, he registered that the priest read from his Bible. The words of the following short speech, though, washed right over him without any effect. Caught up in his own mind, Ianto barely noticed movement, and he only connected with his surroundings again, when, to everyone’s astonishment, Jack stepped forward.

  “I can imagine that you are surprised,” he softly began, “but even though I didn’t know Lisa Hallet personally, I feel a connection to her. First and foremost, she was human. Like you… Like me… Lisa was a daughter who lost her parents way too early. She was a sister. She was a niece and a cousin. She had people she loved and who loved her in return.”

  At that, Jack paused, searching and finding Ianto. Locking his gaze with Jack’s, Ianto felt a chill run down his spine at the intensity that filled the other’s eyes.

  “In her personnel file her supervisor described Lisa as a dedicated researcher who flourished with the responsibility of her task. Always friendly and helpful, she was a pillar to her colleagues. Where she could have chosen a job in the private sector, Lisa decided to use her talents for the collective good.”

  Up to that point, Ianto was not sure where the captain wanted to go with his speech. So far it seemed similar to the usual obituary the priest most likely recited earlier when Ianto had zoned out. Still, Jack’s words carried with them a sincerity the priest’s had not, and Ianto felt compelled to listen.

  “Though the true nature of her work prevents me from being specific, I can tell you this: Lisa’s last act in this life was an act of immeasurable love. Her final decision, her self-sacrifice, prevented a second catastrophe, that, following so closely on the heels of the one that cost her life, could have toppled the whole world into the abyss. Unborn generations of people who will never know her name will owe her their lives.”

  “Lisa Hallet was a hero,” Jack said with conviction, “and for that, I will be eternally grateful, as should we all.”

  Though he had locked eyes with Jack, Ianto was not seeing the man before him. He saw instead a parade of horrific events both real and… potential?... pass before his mind’s eye. The man-eating plant grown wild and taking over the city. The future predators hunting the people of London to extinction. Weapons that devastated entire continents, turning them to barren wastelands in a single breath. And he knew, now, what Jack was talking about, where he had found the sincerity to back his glowing praise. She had not only saved Ianto, she had saved the information in his head. She had recognized the danger the contents of Torchwood Tower posed, and she did the only thing she could to see to it that those dangerous specimens and artefacts did not fall into the wrong hands. She had saved him so he could tell Jack…

  And all of a sudden, Ianto felt hot tears run freely down his cheeks. Everything caught up to him at once and the grief broke its way out of him, making him sob and cry like a little boy. Feeling a hand slip between his fingers and taking a reassuring hold, he looked around to see Rhiannon beside him. She squeezed his hand which gave him fresh strength.

  Turning forward again, he caught a glimpse at Harlan and startled. His posture was tense which gave Ianto the impression that he harboured more anger than he had shown toward Jack earlier. Another motion distracted him from Lisa’s brother, though, as the undertaker stepped forward to lower the urn into the small grave.

  Seeing the copper cask sink below earth, Ianto felt a sharp stab at his insides. With trepidation, he watched first Millie and Brynna and then Harlan step forward. Gathering his courage, Ianto closed the short distance to the edge of the open space and threw a handful of soil in. As Rhiannon stayed by his side, she followed his example. For a moment, he stood and tried to collect himself. When he moved backwards, he was pleased to see his colleagues take their cue as well. It looked like Toshiko had cried as well, while Owen wore a morose expression that made Ianto wonder if he had to suppress his tears. Though out of place, Ianto felt a sudden amusement at imagining how the caustic medic had to fight to keep up his stoic façade.

  Jack joined them, putting a soothing hand on Toshiko’s back. Together they hovered for a short while before Jack grabbed the handful of soil and threw it in the grave. They moved to the side and the whole group remained standing in silent remembrance until Millie hesitantly turned around. Brynna stayed by her side as they slowly made their way back to the main aisle of the small graveyard. Ianto followed the two women with Rhiannon beside him and knew a second later that he made a mistake, as he could virtually feel the daggers Harlan glared at him stab his back.

  _How am I supposed to survive the lunch at Millie’s?_

  In order to be certain, Ianto carefully opened himself for empathic reception and felt his skin crawl at the hostility that hit him.

  _I can’t do that!_

  Striding forward, he tried to catch up to Millie. When she noticed him, she paused and looked at him expectantly.

  “Millie, I’m so sorry,” Ianto said, feeling a lump forming in his throat, “but I can’t come with you for lunch.”

  “What?” Her voice hitched with a suppressed sob. “Seriously? I thought you would stay until dinner.”

  “I planned to, Millie,” Ianto tried to explain, hoping that his boss would back up his white lie, “but I can’t change it. I have to go back to work.”

  A scoff made Ianto jump.

  “Why am I not surprised?” Harlan muttered under his breath but not low enough not be heard by the others.

  Ianto could feel his presence close in from behind. At the same time, he sensed a defensiveness on his behalf and straightened in order to beat the captain to whatever he was about to do.

  “Why don’t you say what’s on your mind?” Ianto challenged, pivoting around to face Lisa’s brother and furtively holding up one hand to stall Jack.

  “Only minutes ago you put on a pretty show for us,” Harlan readily came back and though his tone was deceptively light, it was also snide, “blubbering like a baby now that your girlfriend’s gone, and now you’re just walking out, leaving us behind like excess baggage.”

  Ianto could understand Harlan’s anger, he really could, but he could not just stand and swallow his insults for Lisa’s family’s sake. He had to resolve this quickly, as he could see that not just Jack but also Owen were ready to intervene.

  “Actually, Harlan,” he calmly replied, “this was only my attempt at politely backing out of a family gathering where I’m not welcome.”

  “Not welcome?” Millie cut in incredulously. “How can you say that, son?”

  “Because he’s bloody right,” Harlan told them. “I don’t want him there.”

  “Harlan!” Millie scolded. “For shame!”

  Even though he did not know where he took his strength from, Ianto stood his ground, yet trying to keep his voice calm and steady but still firm, “Lisa was my fiancé, Harlan. I meant to spend the rest of my life with her.” He felt the hostility rolling off Lisa’s elder brother in waves, and it confused him.

  “Such an overwhelming display of grief, though... It kind of makes me wonder why you’re still breathing and she’s not.”

  Ianto rubbed his aching head and wondered how much of his discomfort was due to grief, fatigue and depression, and how much was caused by the violent emotions Harlan was projecting in every direction. All he wanted was to just be allowed to mourn, but he was not ready to plead, so he rather demanded, “Give me a break.”

  “Why should I?” Harlan hissed. “My beloved sister is dead and you don’t even have the decency to join us for her wake.”

  “Don’t soil Lisa’s memory with unfounded accusations,” Ianto told him, inwardly astounded by how steady his voice remained. Even though he tried to mute the others’ emotions again, he felt a sense of pride seep into him. “I _loved_ her, too, Harlan. I _lost_ her, too. You weren’t there. You don’t know what happened.”

The sharp wave of anger that washed over him then was enough to make Ianto flinch.

  “See, that’s the problem, Ianto!” Harlan said, raising his voice. “I wasn’t there! I don't know! You were, and you won’t bloody tell me, so all I know is that my little sister is dead and you’re not. I don’t understand how you can stand around blubbering and telling us all how much you loved her, when you were there and she’s still dead. If I had been with her, I’d have saved her. Bloody hell, mate, I would have died in her place!“

  “So would I!” Ianto roared, so overwhelmed now with Harlan’s emotions that they became his own. Fighting to put a lid on his empathy and to control his own outbreak, he went on less aggressively, “I wish it would’ve been in my power to save her, but she didn’t give me that chance! She wasn’t thinking about me when she stepped up, she was thinking about you and Auntie Millie and Brynna and Jack, Tosh, and Owen…” there he slightly paused to put emphasis on his next words, “and the five billion other people on this planet. She was putting them all ahead of me when she died. Don’t you get it, man? She saved me because there were worse things to come than the thing that killed her, and I had the knowledge to stop them.“

  Harlan looked stunned now, and his emotions were subdued. It gave Ianto a moment to take a few gasping breaths to calm himself further.

  “I can’t tell you what might have been worse than the disaster we lived through, Harlan,” Ianto said, feeling tired all of a sudden, “but Lisa made sure I lived so you wouldn’t have to find out. If it had been left up to me, you probably never would have had the chance to mourn her.” With a start he became fully aware of the truth of his own words and with it came another conviction, “Go ahead and hate me if you want, but don’t expect me to feel sorry for you. I just don’t have it in me anymore, and frankly, I don’t care, because I know Lisa died a hero. I’m not going to apologize for who or what I am or for what I’m doing, because Lisa believed in the importance of our work. I’m going to live in order to honour her memory and I hope that one day you’ll be able to do the same.”

  Feeling a hand softly touch his cheek, Ianto bent down so Millie could kiss him. Wordlessly, she ruffled his hair before she took Brynna’s hand and measuredly walked away, casting Harlan a stern gaze that told him as much as ‘come with us, now’. After a moment of hesitation, Harlan conceded and went with them.

  Ianto released a breath he had not known he was holding. Once more, he found Rhiannon at his side and gratitude filled him at her silent support.

  “Do you want to come with me?” she asked.

  Torn, Ianto chewed on his bottom lip.

  “Actually, I’d like to stay,” he told her, suddenly sounding hoarse.

  “Okay,” she nodded, squeezing his shoulder lightly. “Call me. Or just stop by. Don’t be a stranger again.”

  “I’ll call,” he promised. “Thank you, Rhi.”

  Before she left, she gave him her best ‘we’ll talk later’ look. Then she slowly walked down the path to the gate.

  Only when Rhiannon had left, Ianto could turn back around. To his surprise, he looked right at Toshiko and Owen. As the medic appeared like he was about to make a comment, Toshiko took him by his arm and gently steered him to the side. Warmly, she smiled at Ianto as the two of them walked past him and toward the gate.

  With a grateful smile, Ianto watched them leave. Finally, he could return to Lisa’s final resting place. Despite the ceremony being held and the last goodbyes being spoken, he could not find closure. He was not ready yet.

  On the short way back, Ianto glanced sideways and saw Jack standing beneath a tree. Leisurely, he leaned against the trunk and purposefully looked in the opposite direction.

  Ianto sighed and moved over to the small grave.

  _So little is left of her,_ he thought as he looked at the urn in the deep hole, partially covered by soil. Soon, the grave would be closed and in a little while, grass would grow on it. A thought that sent shivers down Ianto’s spine.

  With an effort, he recalled better times. Lisa’s smile. Lisa’s laughter. Lisa’s way to make him blush like a school-boy when she called him Welshman.

  Deep in thought, Ianto stood there for a long while. How long he actually stayed by her side, he could not tell, when he noticed movement beside him. Jack had stepped up right next to him. The captain did not say a word, just stood there and waited.

  In the end, it was Ianto who felt the need to fill the silence.

  “I lied.”

  “Oh?”

  The dryly uttered word amused Ianto and he gave a wry chuckle.

  “Well, you may call it a white lie… sort of,” he went on. “Our engagement… I wasn’t so certain about it anymore.”

  As Jack did not want to prod in either direction, he remained silent.

  “You know, even though I knew that I like both sexes, I always saw myself getting married, having children, a house, a garden, a dog… what all men do when they grow up, they find a partner and settle down. I never doubted that I would marry a woman. Then I met Lisa and it all seemed to slot into place.”

  When Ianto did not go on by himself this time, Jack felt compelled to ask, “And then came the Cybermen?”

  Worrying his bottom lip, Ianto mulled over that.

  “No,” he finally shook his head. “No, it started earlier than that… but now, it feels like betrayal.”

  “What feels like betrayal?” Jack softly queried.

  “I was thinking about breaking up with her.”

  Now some pieces of the puzzle fell into place for Jack. Knowing about that detail helped him to understand why Ianto suffered so much in the wake of Lisa’s death.

  “When the _ghosts_ first appeared, Lisa was just as scared as everyone else,” Ianto began, “but then her fright turned into fascination. Granted, we both were glad that none showed up in our flat, but still I noticed that she viewed the manifestations from a different angle. Apparently, she knew more about them than I did. That’s how I figured that the phenomenon had to do with Torchwood…” There he paused to collect his thoughts, “As she was in another division, Lisa could not talk about it,” Ianto explained. “I worried about the _ghosts_ , asked her if they were dangerous. Despite her assurances, I could not stop wracking my mind about them and started digging.”

  “That’s how you showed up on Markham’s radar…”

  “Yeah… and no. I mean, I tried to manipulate him into digging for information that was impossible for me to get.” He paused. “Anyway, my thoughts about ending our engagement neither had anything to do with my sexual orientation, nor was there anybody else involved… it was solely my questioning whether we really fit together. I saw her change. If I ever got to see her, that is. Our schedules prevented us from meeting long enough to thoroughly talk about anything and that estranged us more and more.

  “Yet, when the Cybermen came and we tried to escape the tower, Lisa stood up for me. She sacrificed herself for the slightest chance that I might survive and could take the information Markham had given me to you. I regret doubting her. It makes me feel like a traitor.”

  “What you feel is survivor’s guilt,” Jack stated matter-of-factly.

  “It’s not just that,” Ianto shook his head.

  “Oh, it’s exactly that,” Jack put in before Ianto could utter any more. “You missed the chance to solve your issues and set things right with her. Nothing you can do now will bring that chance back. All you can do is accept that it happened and go on.”

  “How?” Ianto demanded heatedly, his voice almost breaking. “How am I supposed to go on? Especially considering her other wish…?”

  There, he trailed off, and Jack had to wonder what Ianto was talking about now. Considering the tension that was building between them, though, he did not dare to prod. Thankfully, Ianto went on by himself.

  “When she asked me, I didn’t fully understand the consequences, but now I do and I have _no_ idea how I’m supposed to fulfil her wish.” A hint of desperation crept into his voice when he continued, “I can’t just walk away, Lisa! Bloody hell! How could you ask this of me?”

  Seeing fresh tears running down Ianto’s cheeks, made Jack’s heart clench with sympathetic pain. At the same time, curiosity was burning inside of him. Though he had a strong suspicion about what Lisa made Ianto promise her, he could not be sure.

  “Why would we even talk about death and so on anyway?” Ianto all but croaked hoarsely. “Lisa was barely twenty-six! We were going to get married, for God’s sake! We should have talked about music, and food, and cake… not about graves and final promises to keep.”

  When Ianto fell silent this time, Jack waited for a long moment. In vain. In the end, he could not suppress his curiosity anymore and queried softly,

  “Why would she want you to walk away from her?”

  A breath hitched in Ianto’s chest.

  “She made me promise to… to stop grieving…” Pausing, he took a deep breath. “To stop grieving as soon as the grave was closed.”

  The revelation sent a chill down Jack’s spine. _Apparently, his fiancé has put him into an impossible position. One that he can’t get out of unscathed._

  Knowing grief only too well, Jack suffered with Ianto to the extent that his busy mind hardly registered Ianto’s plaintive query.

  “What are we still doing here?”

  Sceptically, Jack eyed him out of the corner of his eye.

  “You’re not ready to leave,” he stated.

  “No, I’m not,” Ianto agreed. “But I need you to take me away from here.”

  Jack could not find fault with that logic. After a moment of contemplation, he gently put one arm around Ianto’s shoulders to steer him away from the grave. At first, he felt slight resistance, but then they walked silently side by side and Jack let his arm drop off Ianto’s shoulders. They had almost reached the gate when Ianto broke the silence.

  “Thank you.”

  Startled by the sudden statement, Jack looked around at Ianto.

  “What for?”

  “Your speech. It was wonderful.”

  Jack smiled. “You’re welcome.”

  Watching the captain closely, the slight hunch of his shoulders or how his smile faltered when he strode further to the car, strengthened the sense of confusion that Ianto felt within Jack.

  “You still believe you didn’t do enough,” Ianto sighed just as Jack stepped up beside his roadster. “That your words just were empty shells. That’s not true.”

  Without taking his view off the key in the keyhole, Jack quirked one eyebrow.

  “I don’t know if the others were surprised,” Ianto continued on his way around the vehicle, “but I’m ashamed to admit that I was.”

  Now that astonished Jack to hear.

  “I guess it’s because you’re often so brash, so exuberant… you make it so easy to forget the depths you possess.”

  “Well, that’s a good thing then, isn’t it?” Jack came back with one of his roguish grins, putting an end to the earnest discussion.

  _For Jack it probably is,_ Ianto thought as he opened the passenger’s door and slid into the seat. _Deflection’s one of his favourite strategies._

  After a long moment, Ianto noticed that they still had not pulled away from the curb and when he looked around at Jack, he saw him apparently deep in thought, his hands resting on the steering wheel.

  “Everything okay?”

  “I should be the one asking that question,” Jack snickered and ignited the engine.

  _There it is again,_ Ianto recognized but did not comment.

  “Back to Cardiff?”

  Being asked, Ianto realized that he could also take a different track and push the issue of Jack’s deflection strategy. Puzzled, he decided that he did not want to pursue the matter.

  “Right,” he heard himself say, “Back to Cardiff. With a detour to our flat.”

  “Fine,” Jack muttered and finally pulled off the curb.

 

tbc…


	42. Captain's dinner

  _Time to wipe the slate clean._

  With only a towel wrapped around his hips, Ianto stepped out of the bathroom. Striding over to the wardrobe, he opened the left door with the mirror inside.

  _Who’s that man?_

  Studying his reflection, Ianto tried to determine why he looked so different. It was not his physical appearance. His body still looked the same as it did two weeks ago. It could not be his hair either that was unruly from towelling off after taking a shower. Slowly, he let his gaze roam over every inch of skin, wracking his mind about what made him feel so strange about his exterior.

  _Still tall and thin. Wouldn’t quite call it spare, though. Not wiry either._

  Lanky would be the other extreme and no, he never was lanky, not even when he was a shy, insecure teenager. Yes, insecure. Puberty did not pass him by unscathed.

  _And yet it’s in my posture,_ Ianto realized.

  Eyeing his reflection curiously, he noticed the slightest differences in how he held his back straighter, or pushed his shoulders further back. Lifting his chin, he tilted his head to the left and to the right, watching his every move intently until his view finally came to rest on his eyes.

  _They are… darker? No, that’s not it._

_Older?_

_No…_

  It was hard to determine and the answer kept eluding him until it became plain obvious.

_Knowing._

  Now that he became aware of it, Ianto wondered why it had been so difficult to see. With the knowledge came a new sensation.

  He felt old.

  _Well, not that old but… grown. Yes, grown is a better word._

  Even though he thought himself grown for several years now, Ianto suddenly realized that the boy who left his hometown for a new life in London was finally all grown up. After everything he had seen and done during the last sixteen days, he was more aware now of how fragile and precious life was.

  _The universe is a dangerous place._

  Yet, Ianto felt strangely secure. Only now that it was gone, he knew that he had felt uncertain due to the unpredictability of life ever since he had left the home he grew up in. Of course the fact had not changed, but he was less afraid of it now.

  Ianto Jones was ready to leave and find his place in this world.

  The thought of leaving brought him back to the reason why he had taken a shower in the evening. Soon, he would meet Captain Harkness for dinner and he was nervous.

  _It’s just dinner for God’s sake!_

  His gaze fell on the room behind him in the mirror and the boxes he had stacked. Thoroughly, he had packed what he had assembled at Mrs. Dillard’s bedsit. Now only his clothes were left and he wracked his mind about what he should wear tonight and the next morning. Everything else he wanted to pack up in order to be ready to leave after breakfast.

  _Casual or business?_

  Once more, Ianto let his view roam over his body. No matter how often he told himself that he would meet Jack for dinner and nothing more, he still knew that the captain surely did not see their get-together as being merely platonic. Unwrapping the towel, he let his gaze linger. That was what Jack wanted to see and probably fantasized about all day.

  _And I was ready to give it to him,_ Ianto recalled with a slight shudder. _I was about to fall apart for different reasons and if Jack would have been more persistent, I couldn’t have denied him._

  Astonished he studied the physical evidence in his reflection.

  _Sex? With Jack?_

  He let the word hang in the air. It twisted and bobbed and played catch me if you can with him while his body clearly reacted to the idea.

  “No!”

  Turning on his heels, Ianto returned to the bathroom to splash cool water in his face. Then he quickly selected some clothes and got dressed in tracksuit bottoms and a jumper. Speedily yet thoroughly, he packed the rest of his clothes. Only when he was finished, he began to prepare for his date.

  _Bloody hell! Now I’m thinking of it as a date as well!_

  Shaking the thought off, he shed jumper and tracksuit bottoms. When he stepped up in front of the mirror again, he was dressed in a new suit with a dark red shirt. Taking a deep breath, he checked on his tie. Not that his tie ever needed checking. It fit perfectly as did his suit. His freshly washed hair was carefully styled now to give it a slightly tousled appearance without looking messy. Now the shoes, his watch, a handkerchief…

  _Ready._

  Ready for what?

  Ianto stared at his image, trying in vain to determine what he saw. Too much business? He did not think so. Sure, he had chosen suit and tie in order to keep the meeting somewhat businesslike, but he did not want to appear too conservative, which was why he had picked the dark red shirt. Ianto had aimed for what he thought of as _casual business dress_ and in his opinion he got it right.

  _What do I have to expect?_

  Actually, he did not think that Jack would go to some extra length where his wardrobe was concerned. The period military dress just was his style and so Ianto did not expect him to wear anything different.

  _Jack didn’t say anything about where we would meet. Maybe he’s expecting me to come to his office. That would be more like Jack, though I still hope that he’ll come to pick me up._

  A look at the clock on the shelf told him that it was twenty past six. So if Jack was going to show up any time soon, they had plenty of time to walk over to Bellini’s on Mermaid Quay.

  He was anxiously looking forward to the dinner. Even though he probably had learned more about the enigmatic captain in two weeks than what Toshiko and Owen knew together, the man still was a dark horse to him. Ianto could not deny the attraction he felt whenever he was close to Jack Harkness.

  _If only I knew whether it truly was my emotions or his ruddy pheromones._

  Ianto sighed.

  _I shouldn't always blame his evolved pheromones_ , he admonished himself. _I guess I'm just too susceptible to his advances due to my tattered condition._

  _He can be so funny after all and still... He gets moody in a matter of seconds._

  _Not unlike me._

    Taking a deep breath, Ianto smoothed out non-existent wrinkles in his suit. He had his own idea of how this evening was supposed to develop and had prepared himself accordingly. The variable he could hardly influence was Jack.

  “Well, Ianto, this will be an interesting ride,” he said to himself as he studied his reflection in the mirror. “You’re playing with fire. Don’t get yourself burnt.”

  It was twenty to seven and Jack still was not there.

  A knock on the door startled Ianto out of his musings.

  _Okay,_ he thought as his heart skipped a beat. _You wanted this dinner now you’ll have to pull it off._

  Steeling himself, he went to the door and opened it.

 

xXx

 

  _What am I not seeing?_

  ‘A silver Dacia Duster,’ the driver might have answered him, because Jack, lost in thought, did not pay attention to where he was walking and bounded right onto the street and in front of the approaching car.

  _Bloody hell!_

  Startled by the honking horn, Jack jumped to the side. Apologetically, he smiled at the driver who was still cursing as he drove past the captain.

  _That was close,_ Jack mused and crossed the street, his heart still beating frantically. _Ianto’s bedsit’s only a stone’s throw away from the Hub and still I almost manage to kill myself._

  Feeling giddy, Jack had not spared a thought on his surroundings. It did not happen often that he felt such elation and a tiny part of him wondered if he was not too old to feel that way. Truth was, though, that Jack did not give a damn about his age right now as he enjoyed the delight about Ianto accepting his invitation way too much.

  Not even the little devil on his shoulder, whispering about the young archivist having a secret agenda could diminish his glee.

  Jack did not really have the proverbial butterflies in his stomach, but he sure as hell was looking forward to the evening out.

  _Apparently, nothing I do will stop Ianto from leaving Cardiff, so why not make the best of the date?_

  That was something he just could not stop, thinking about their dinner as a date. Even though Ianto made clear that he was not interested, Jack could not reign himself in. Who knew? Maybe Ianto would change his mind. Maybe he could convince the archivist to stay. Maybe Ianto felt drawn to Jack enough to decide in favour of continuing his employment with Torchwood.

  _A lot of maybes._

  And still his nature could not be tamed, his heart beating almost frantically with joyful expectation and his stomach churning with lustful nervousness.

  _There's the bakery._

  With a sigh, Jack tried the door right next to the bakery's entrance that readily swung back, and walked to the stairs. From ahead came a woman who entered the hall through a back door. Spotting him, she smiled.

  “Good evening, sir,” she greeted. “Can I help you?”

  “I'm here to visit Mr. Jones, Ma'am,” Jack replied cordially.

  Eyeing him up and down, her smile widened.

  “Oh, you must be his boss, Captain Harkness!” she cheered. “I heard you love my welshcakes.”

  “I do, Mrs. Dillard,” Jack confirmed. “They're excellent. Like homemade ones.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I've got to go, though,” Jack stated and added with a wink, “I think I'll pop into the bakery occasionally... buy a welshcake.”

  “That would be nice,” she replied. “Go on then. Don't let Mr. Jones wait.”

  “Wouldn't dream of it, Ma'am,” Jack smirked and stepped on the stairs. “Good night.”

  Taking two steps at a time, Jack climbed the stairs, but when he reached Ianto's bedsit, he hesitated.

  _C'mon, Captain! It's easy! Just knock!_

  Shaking his head at his own nervousness, Jack finally knocked on the door, anxiously awaiting Ianto's appearance.

 

xXx

 

  Hearing the knocks, Ianto stood from the couch and went to open the door. While he took the few steps that he needed, his heart went from a lazy thump to wild hammering. Just before he reached for the handle, he took a deep breath.

_What am I nervous about? Either it’s Jack or Mrs. Dillard._

  Releasing his breath slowly, he finally opened the door to find the captain on the threshold.

  “Good evening, sir,” he greeted.

  “Hello, Ianto,” Jack replied. “Ready to go?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Jack scowled. “You can stop calling me sir while we’re out for dinner, Ianto.”

  “I’ll try my best, sir,” Ianto agreed.

  Now Jack chuckled. “Maybe you should buy me a drink for each time you call me sir tonight,” he suggested.

  “Hardly seems worth the effort,” Ianto quipped. “I’d be paying for water.”

  “You have a point there,” Jack agreed. Then with a sly smirk, he added, “You can owe me a kiss instead.”

  “An intriguing proposition, sir, but let’s just see how the evening goes, shall we?”

  Ianto smirked on the intentional _sir_ , and when Jack finally caught on, he returned the captain’s beaming grin only to put both his palms on the captain’s chest when he leaned forward to kiss him.

  “No,…” Ianto’s breath hitched as he had to bite back the _sir_ that threatened to escape him. “We’ll count the score after dinner.”

  Leaning back, Jack pouted and Ianto found the curves of his frowning lips quite endearing. The combination of Jack’s natural beauty, his charm, and the cutest pout Ianto had ever seen did not fail to hit home. Only now, Ianto actually paid more attention to Jack’s unusual attire.

  As always, the captain wore his greatcoat, but that was where the familiarity ended. Ianto did not think that he ever saw him wear a t-shirt other than beneath the accustomed blue dress shirts. Now, a black v-neck shirt replaced both. In addition, Jack had dressed in a glen plaid suit in shades of light grey. As Ianto let his gaze drift down the neat suit, he discovered black loafers, which also was a surprise. Taking in the captain’s whole appearance, Ianto had to concede that he liked what he saw.

  More than that.

  _He’s gorgeous_.

  As soon as the thought hit him, he realized that he was staring. Unfortunately, he could not help himself. It was impossible not to stare.

  _He’s really beautiful._

  There was something else about the captain that Ianto could not pinpoint yet, but as he met Jack’s gaze, he recognized it: he looked young. This was not the seasoned Torchwood operative, not the seasoned soldier. This was a glimpse at the young man Jack had been before whatever had happened to him.

  Ianto still was staring, but for once, Jack seemed to be oblivious.

  “Okay,” the captain said. “Can we go now?”

  “Sure… Jack,” Ianto nodded and stepped out into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind him. “Lead the way.”

  Usually, Jack did not have a problem with leading. Now he found his stomach muscles flutter with anxiety.

  _He just made a casual remark_ , Jack scolded himself, _and I'm getting all flustered about it_.

  Quickly turning to hide his discomfort, Jack strode to the stairs. Once out on the street, he took a deep breath.

  "I love the salty air," Ianto stated as he fell in step beside the captain.

  "Why did you go to London in the first place?" Jack asked when the thought crossed his mind.

  Ianto sighed.

  "The usual, I guess," he said. "I wanted to get away from home, conquer the big city and become a successful and wealthy man."

  "I know the feeling," Jack relayed, "only that I left the planet altogether."

  "Where did you go?"

  "I first joined a group of space nomads, earning myself my passage from Boeshane to Earth."

  Only when he had answered, Jack realized how refreshing it was to be able to just talk with someone without having to pretend. He could hardly remember when he could have been open with someone. Once, he could talk with Alex, and Griff. Still, it was not quite the same.

  "How should I imagine that?" Ianto queried.

  "What?"

  "The life of a space nomad," Ianto clarified, "what were they doing? What did you do for your passage?"

  "I think they did all kinds of jobs," Jack shrugged, "legal and illegal. They mostly lived on their ship, landing only to restock... or for a job."

  "And you?"

  "I did whatever came up... helped out on the ship or with the jobs they took on."

  "I see."

  Hearing a sceptical note in Ianto's voice, Jack went on, "I never was nor am I now a saint."

  "I didn't think..."

  "I made my share of mistakes," Jack told him, "very much so."

  "What did you do when you reached Earth?" Ianto tried to refocus.

  "I applied for the Time Agency."

  "That sounds interesting," Ianto said, slowing his steps. They had almost reached the Quay and he was pretty certain that Jack would not be as frank when there were other people around to hear.

  "Sorry, Ianto, I can't tell you more about it."

  With regret, Ianto heard the poor excuse. In his opinion, they were long past that stage, and he did his best to muster understanding for Jack’s secrecy. They entered the area in front of Eddie’s Diner and Ianto stepped up to the handrail. Leaning on it, he looked out on the bay, taking a deep breath.

  Stepping up beside him, Jack followed Ianto’s example. For a short while they stood there in silence, each man mulling on his own thoughts. A sad smile played around Jack’s lips that Ianto could not see because he intently watched the ships and seagulls.

  “I think we should go,” Jack finally broke the silence. “Or someone else will get our table.”

  “Oh, we don’t want that, do we?” Ianto agreed and followed Jack to the next stairs. As they climbed them, though, Ianto suddenly felt awkward. Something became different about the way Jack moved. Though he could not pinpoint it, Ianto reacted instinctively and slowed his ascent.

  So did Jack.

  As soon as they were on the same level again, Ianto felt Jack’s hand brush against his own. Reflexively, he drew it back, fearing that the captain’s hand might have closed around his own if he would have let him. No matter what Ianto did now, Jack remained by his side.

  When they reached Bellini’s, Jack made a big step forward to get slightly ahead and opened the door for Ianto.

_Oh, God. Can’t you be a little less obvious?_ Ianto thought, feeling himself blush. He found himself in a completely new situation. Usually he was the suitor. Sure, there had been women who showed their interest in him before, but they usually were not that bold to take the initiative. And as Ianto had never paid attention if any men were interested in him, he could not draw a comparison now.

  All he knew for sure was that he found Jack’s obvious courting quite embarrassing and inappropriate.

  Only peripherally Ianto noticed that Jack asked someone about their reservation. He let himself gently be shoved ahead of Jack when they followed the waiter to their table. There he wished for a hole to vanish into when Jack held his chair for him. Ianto was certain to have seen a disapproving twinkle in the man’s eyes, but chose to ignore it.

  At the same time, he realized that he enjoyed Jack’s attention.

  _I just wish he wasn’t so_ _conspicuous_ _. I mean, it’s enough if you woo me. We don’t need the whole world to know about it._

  He only became conscious of the fact that Jack asked him a question when the captain clicked his fingers in front of his nose.

  “Hello! Ianto!” Jack murmured insistently. “Are you still with me?”

  “Wha…?” Once more, he blushed. “I’m sorry, Jack. I was lost in thought.”

  “Yeah, I noticed,” Jack chuckled. Nodding toward the window to his right, he repeated his question, “Do you like our table?”

  Now Ianto let his gaze wander to his left side where he had a great view of Mermaid Quay and part of the bay.

  “Yes. Fantastic.”

  Jack smirked, satisfied. “Okay. Then I guess we should now decide what we want to eat,” he suggested.

  Ianto nodded and picked up the menu in front of him. At first, he thought about going with something simple like spaghetti, but then he realized that it might be a little hazardous given his current rather agitated state. The same applied to penne where the sauce tended to squeeze out of the pasta tubes. He had a look at fish, secondi and pizze before he returned to pasta. The _Ravioli al Salmone_ sounded good and Ianto toyed with the idea of ordering that, but then he spotted something else.

  “Are you ready to order, gentlemen?” the reappearing waiter asked them.

  “Yes, we are,” Jack replied. “We’ll have _Focaccia con Pomodoro_ as starter and the _Vitello Saltimbocca_ for me.”

  As Ianto appeared to be undecided the waiter queried, “What would you like to drink?”

  “We’d like to have the _Shiraz_ _Catuj_ ,” Jack told him.

  “A very good decision, sir,” the waiter said, smiling politely. “It will harmonize very well with the veal.” Expectantly he turned to Ianto now.

  The young Welshman had listened intently to the conversation. He was uncomfortable with the effort Jack made, ordering the expensive red wine. At first, he had been tempted to choose veal, but now he said, “I’ll have the _Ravioli al Tartufo_ and a Pellegrino, please.”

  Jack looked at him with astonishment and gave him a lopsided shrug, but Ianto slightly shook his head.

  “Very well, sir,” the waiter said, scribbled the order down, and left their table.

  “Pasta?” Jack asked with astonishment when they were on their own again.

  “Yes, sir,” Ianto replied, knowing that he could distract Jack at once. “I’ll be happy with my Ravioli.”

  As predicted, Jack was beaming at him due to the second time Ianto _slipped_ and called him _sir_. He was looking forward to the promised kisses.

  “Really, Jack,” Ianto reassured him. “It’s with truffles. It’s something special, too.”

  “Okay,” Jack conceded. “I just want to give you a good time and a great meal. If you choose pasta I’ll be happy with you.” He eyed Ianto intently. “You know, I like this tie even more than the one you wore earlier. The fine stripes between the broad ones and the slight iridescence of the white fits very well with your shirt.”

  “Thank you, Jack,” Ianto murmured. His own eyes remained fixed on the captain’s blue eyes. Right now they held a depth that was hard to bear, so eventually, Ianto had to avert his gaze. Now he eyed Jack's attire closer and felt renewed butterflies in his stomach.

  “I never thought I'd see you in anything but your period clothes,” he remarked in the end.

  Leaning forward, Jack whispered conspiratorially, “I wanted to be pretty for you.” Along with his statement, Jack offered a roguish grin that made Ianto's head spin.

  “You managed brilliantly, sir,” slipped off Ianto's tongue before he felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

  Hearing Ianto call him _sir_ , Jack grinned even wider.

  “You're really keeping score, aren't you?”

  “Of course,” Jack chuckled. “I counted three so far.”

  All Ianto could do in response was roll his eyes.

  Jack laughed good-naturedly.

  “Did I ever give you reason to believe I wouldn't be serious about something as special as kisses?” Jack teased and lowered his voice to a seductive murmur, “Especially your kisses.”

  Ianto shook his head. Of course Jack was serious about his flirting, that much was obvious. Seeing him lean further forward, Ianto should have expected what came next,

  “And just for the record,” Jack challenged on a whisper, “you can see me in my birthday suit any time you like. All you need to do is ask.”

  Ianto believed that at once.  He felt his face heat up with embarrassment and quickly focused on the waiter who brought them their Focaccia and drinks. While he still struggled to regain his equilibrium, he noticed that Jack fully seemed to immerse himself in tasting the wine, keeping the waiter’s focus on him.

  _Thanks_ , Ianto thought, watching furtively. Jack appeared like a bon vivant, first sniffing then sipping at the wine like a sommelier, and Ianto realized that he probably was not far off with that assessment. During the long years Jack had spent on Earth, he certainly had seen much of life and knew how to live it. He had to think of the captain's classic car collection and how his behaviour matched that of a wealthy playboy.

  Once the waiter had left, they attended to their starters. While Jack remained unusually silent, Ianto had a chance to gradually relax again. Consciously enjoying his food eased his nervousness. As the minutes passed, he began to wrack his mind about how he could restart the conversation. Everything he thought of seemed too trivial, though.

  “Try the wine,” Jack suggested out of the blue, sipping at his own glass.

  Gratefully, Ianto noticed Jack's conversational tone that assured him that their silence did not become awkward. Offering Jack a tentative smile, he took his glass to try and see if the wine was as good as the price suggested.

  “Wow.”

  Jack grinned. Leaning back in his chair, he snickered, “I don't _always_ drink water.”

_No, certainly not._

   The brilliant wine that Jack had chosen proved that. In addition, Ianto thought he picked up on the faintest sense of shame, but as his empathy was not restored yet, he could not be sure about that.

  “Jack,” he awkwardly began, “there’s something that keeps bothering me.”

  “What is it?”

  “Something you said, when we were down in the vaults with Ydris.” Ianto looked up to face Jack, hoping that he could better judge his reaction. “What you said about your pheromones, that you can control them, regulate them at will...”

  Curiously, Ianto got the impression that it was Jack’s turn to be embarrassed.

  “I lied,” the captain murmured.

  “Pardon?” Ianto was so perplexed that he thought he must have heard wrong.

  “I... was just bragging,” Jack admitted. “Later, I realized that you would probably feel manipulated, thinking that you might act under the pheromones' influence, but then I didn’t find the right moment to correct it.”

  Surprised by Jack’s insight, Ianto smiled at him.

  “So you’re not bringing other people under your spell with them?”

  “Hmmmm... yes and no,” Jack mused. “They can have a strong effect, but they don’t turn people into will-less puppets.”

  For some odd reason that idea made Ianto laugh.

  “That’s a good thing then.”

  “I guess so…” Playing for time, Jack sipped at his wine. Actually, he was surprised by how comfortable he felt talking about these things with Ianto. It was not just that he believed that Ianto had the right to know, Jack even wanted to share. Thinking that discussing bodily functions over dinner might not be the perfect subject, he teased, “We don’t want to spend our evening out with exploring our differences in secreting pheromones, though, do we?”

  “Why?” Ianto prodded with a smirk. “Is there anything else different about you that I should know about?”

  At that Jack faltered.

  _Since when’s that your business?_ he thought bitterly, thinking of Ianto leaving. As he did not want to show the sorrow that threatened to overwhelm him, he replied,

  “If you really want to know…” he challenged with a cheeky grin, “you’ll have to come and find out for yourself.”

  Recalling how close he had come to taking up the challenge just a few days ago, Ianto felt a sudden pang. Now, he did not know how to turn Jack down politely without raising false hopes.

  “It's a tempting offer, sir, and under other circumstances, I might not even bother to resist,” he finally said sincerely, never noticing his slip-up.

  “Other circumstances being, when you’re not about to leave for good,” Jack supplied. This time, not even counting another _sir_ could lift his mood.

  “Erm, yeah,” Ianto agreed. “I can’t ask you to wait, because I don't know if or when or where I'll finally sort myself out...but if it's practical, and if you're still interested, and if I’m still interested and not committed to someone else by then, I think I'd be all too happy to surrender to temptation.”

  “That’s an awful lot of ifs,” Jack said guardedly, not wanting to let himself hope, but the little fluttering in his chest was proof enough that it was already too late to stop that.

  “It is,” Ianto nodded. “Which is why I think we should have a lovely evening and part as friends, under the assumption that our paths are never likely to cross again.”

  With that, the little fluttering in Jack’s chest turned into a stone.

  “Well,” he heard himself say, “anticipating that, I have something for you.” While he dug into his greatcoat pocket, he saw Ianto eye him curiously and a little perplexed. Producing a small package, he explained, “Just a little something... so you won’t forget about us.”

  Quickly, before he could change his mind, he shoved the box across the table.

  “Jack, that’s not necessary...”

  “Nonsense,” Jack cut him short, pushing the present a little further towards Ianto.

  “Well, thank you.”

  Unwrapping the parcel, Ianto revealed a jewellery box. All of a sudden he had a frog in his throat and fought not to let it show. When he lifted the lid, he found a silver fob watch on a chain.

  Choked up with emotion, Ianto did not know what to say.

  “I’ve seen that you like to wear a waistcoat with your suits, so I thought it would be perfect for you,” Jack rambled in order to fill the silence.

  _It’s too expensive,_ Ianto thought as he studied the watch. Knowing he was expected to examine it, he carefully lifted it out of the box. An intricate pattern adorned the cover. When he looked closer at the engravings, Ianto discovered that the hexagonal T of Torchwood was woven into the decoration.

  “Was it yours?” he asked.

  “No,” Jack shook his head. “It belonged to a friend.”

  “A colleague?”

  Jack nodded. “Yes. His name was Griff.”

  “When did you work together?”

  At that, Jack grew silent as Ianto’s question woke the sad memories and his chest tightened with grief. Still he felt the need to answer, “He was on Alex Hopkin’s team.”

  “Oh.”

  Knowing what had happened on New Year’s Eve of the new millennium, Ianto understood Jack’s reluctance.

  “I think you would’ve liked each other.”

  Hearing the emotion in Jack’s statement, Ianto felt compelled to ask, “Did you love him?”

  “I loved the whole team,” Jack murmured almost inaudibly.

  Knowing about its origin now made Ianto feel like the gift turned into a burden, and he tried to explain why he had to refuse, “Jack, I can’t accept this. It’s a lovely gift, but…”

  “Please, Ianto,” Jack cut him short. “Especially as I loved Griff, I know how much he valued his watch. It’s too precious to be kept in a box. It needs to be worn and appreciated. Something you will do. That’s why I chose it for you.”

  _Well, if you put it that way…_ Ianto thought. The watch really was an excellent piece of work, so Jack was right if he said he would know how to appreciate it.

  “In that case…” he said softly, “Thank you.”

   Carefully, he let the chain run through his fingers before he secured it to his waistcoat. Once more, he took a good look at the watch before he pocketed it.

   "We shouldn't let the food get cold," he muttered, returning his attention to his pasta.

   "Right."

  They ate the rest in silence because neither of them could think of anything to say. Of course, Jack did not intend the gift to ruin their dinner, but it threatened to do just that. Though Ianto was aware of it, he could not get past the emotions Jack's present woke. Along with the feelings of friendship and solidarity with his temporary team mates came the reminder of what he had lost, of death, and of destruction.

  "Ianto?"

  Lightly touching the younger man's fingertips, Jack tried to get his attention.

  "Huh?"

  As Ianto looked up, Jack realized that he had been miles away with his thoughts.

  "I'm sorry if I stirred something up," Jack relayed.

  "Not your fault," Ianto warded off. He did not want to feel so terrible. He wanted to enjoy this evening, he really did, but still found himself incapable of doing so. “It’s mine. I didn’t want to leave without rewarding your efforts. You put so much work into our game that I’d have felt like a sod if I never acknowledged it. But I think that’s my mistake. I shouldn’t have encouraged you. I agreed to dinner on the spur of the moment, carried away by the tension of the game, and once I said yes, I didn’t have the heart to cancel our dinner.”

  Jack listened with a heavy heart. With every word his hopes were dwindling and he hid his emotions from Ianto with a psychic shield.

  “I’m sorry, Jack,” Ianto said. “I consider you a good friend rather than my boss, so I was actually looking forward to tonight. There’s nothing more to it, though.”

  Now Jack could bury all hopes that he might become more to Ianto than just a friend. Fearing that he would give away his hurt, he put on his usual mask of the blustering and flirtatious captain.

  Flashing one of his patented grins at Ianto, he remarked in a challenging tone, “You don’t want to leave with debts not payed, though, do you?”

  Quirking an eyebrow questioningly, Ianto shrugged.

  “Well, I counted four _sirs_ so far,” Jack pushed, hoping against hope that he would be able to collect one more wonderful memory before he lost his Welsh archivist who had become so much more during the last two weeks.

  _Only two weeks,_ Jack thought with disbelief. _Feels much longer._

  “Oh.” Now Ianto caught on and a nervous flutter in his stomach all but made him squirm. “Of course I won’t leave without balancing the account, sir.”

  This time it was a slip-up and Ianto felt his mouth go dry when he now counted five. Five kisses that he owed to the enigmatic captain.

  Trying to change the subject, he asked, “How about dessert?”

  “I’m all for dessert,” Jack snickered with a wink that told Ianto that he was not thinking of tiramisu or a sundae. Still, he signalled a waiter and asked him for the menu when he paused at their table.

  “Of course, sir,” the waiter nodded and collected their empty plates before he rushed away. A moment later, Ianto could hide himself from Jack reading the selection of desserts.

  “Did you find something?” Jack asked.

  “Why, aren’t you curious?” Ianto chuckled without real humour. “But I did, indeed.”

  “What is it?”

  “Well, the torta al formaggio sounds good,” Ianto elaborated, pointing out the description of a ginger biscuit based cheesecake topped with soft cheese and limoncello liqueur.

  “Right,” Jack nodded. “I imagine the limoncello going well with cheesecake.”

  At the next opportunity, he ordered two slices of cake together with cappuccino for himself and espresso for Ianto. Until dessert arrived, their conversation had returned to casual subjects, both men keen on steering around the fact that Ianto was leaving Cardiff. Keeping up the pretence became increasingly difficult and so it was no surprise for either of them when Jack asked for the tab when the waiter came to collect their dessert dishes. Jack gave a generous tip and followed Ianto out, catching up with him on the stairs.

  “Are you fleeing me now?” Jack asked.

  “If you mean that I wanted to avoid you helping me in my coat or something, then yes,” Ianto replied.

  “What’s wrong about that?”

  “Nothing,” Ianto sighed, not stopping his descent, “as long as you’re offering the courtesy to a woman.”

  Jack frowned.

  “Look, I’m just not in the mood for whispering behind our back,” Ianto explained. “That waiter was already watching us suspiciously.”

  Of course, Jack had noticed that, but as he saw nothing wrong in a little bit of flirting, he never thought the man’s interest might be embarrassing for Ianto. Trying to stay by the younger man’s side, Jack bounded down the stairs and kept in stride with Ianto past Coffee Mania and toward Stuart Street. Only when they were past the entrances to the next restaurants, Ianto slowed his steps to a stroll.

  _What am I running away from? From being seen with a man or from Jack?_

  Feeling Jack’s hand brush against his own sent sparks flying that he tried to deny. In his opinion a second and third touch confirmed that it did not happen accidentally. Turning his wrist, he met Jack’s hand and their fingers entwined.

  Apparently, that was a signal that the captain could not resist. Shifting closer to Ianto, he urged him to the left and into the shadows near the next crossing.

  “Jack!” Ianto gasped as he found himself backed against the brick wall, the captain eagerly shifting against him, ready to steal the first of the promised kisses.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Not here!” the younger man hissed, only too conscious of the fact that they still were close to a Subway and two other restaurants.

  “Scared?” Jack murmured seductively.

  “Well,” Ianto started, only to realize that his nervousness eased, “not really…” Uncertainly, he trailed off. What was wrong with him? Suddenly, he could not see any reason for fear. Now that Jack was so close to him, curiosity actually won over.

  “You said, you don’t like being in debt,” Jack all but purred, his lips almost brushing against Ianto’s ear shell.

  Feeling the warmth of Jack’s breath made Ianto shudder and yearn for an actual kiss. Before he knew it, he turned his head to meet Jack’s lips…

  …and he totally forgot where he was.

  When Jack’s lips touched his own, the world seemed to dissolve around him. Breathing in, Ianto smelled Jack’s unique scent and for a few seconds, he was completely lost in the rather fleeting and astonishingly chaste kiss. So he did not even notice that Jack had backed off again.

  “Let me take you home,” Jack murmured, startling Ianto out of his trance.

  “What? Oh. Yeah, right…”

  Jack chuckled. It was so unlike the usually so composed Welshman to be flustered like that. Now that he was back to his senses, Ianto began anew to enjoy Jack’s presence. Side by side they strolled along the remaining way to the bakery where Ianto stopped at the entrance.

  “Well, here we are,” Ianto said, one hand on the door handle and toying with his keys with the other.

  “Yes, we are.”

  Something in Jack’s voice made Ianto’s hairs stand on end. The unresolved tension between them increased and he slowly turned to face Jack. The captain just stood there behind him, unmoving, waiting, looking out for any sign from Ianto.

  “You are so beautiful,” Jack said, lifting his hand and brushing his fingertips along Ianto’s cheekbone. From there, his fingers threaded in the dark curls until they came to rest on the back of his head.

  Ianto swallowed dryly. All of a sudden, his mouth was dry and his stomach muscles fluttered.

  “Don’t be scared,” Jack murmured seductively.

  “I’m not scared,” Ianto objected, surprised by how unconvincing he sounded.

  Jack leaned forward and claimed Ianto’s mouth with a light kiss. His lips caressed Ianto’s and he slowly increased the pressure. Then Ianto felt Jack’s tongue slip out and lick over his lips. It was just another caress, not demanding anything… until Ianto opened his mouth for him. Then Jack let his tongue enter Ianto’s mouth, slowly exploring, licking and teasing.

  How long it lasted Ianto did not know. All he knew when they parted was that he did not want Jack to leave.

  _Being in debt isn’t that bad after all,_ he thought. He searched Jack’s gaze and held it. The captain’s eyes shone deep blue in the alley’s twilight, and he loved them. Suddenly something in Jack’s look changed and he made a slight step back.

  “I hate that this is goodbye,” Jack stated, but his tone made it sound like an accusation. His next words, though, became almost plaintive, “Please, stay.”

  Ianto did not know what to say. For a long moment they stood and looked at each other, then he could not stand it anymore.

  “You’re right, I don’t like to leave with debts unpaid.”

  Before he knew it he reached out for Jack and pulled him into another kiss. This time it was less exploring and more passionate, their hands roaming over each other’s backs. Jack’s caresses set Ianto’s body on fire. A hand went astray on his buttocks, squeezing gently and sending bolts of lightning through him.

  And just as quickly as his passion awoke, it evaporated.

  Breathing hard, he pushed Jack back.

  “But…” Jack panted, confused, “I thought…”

  The kisses burned Ianto’s lips like the insecurity burned his heart, making it impossible to make any decision, so he went onto the defensive.

  “You don’t know me, Jack. You think you do, but you don’t. Right now… I don’t even think that I do!” When Jack did not react, Ianto tried to elaborate, “Jack, don’t get me wrong… I _do feel_ attracted to you, and the kissing is amazing. It’s just… and please don’t misunderstand… I think I fell for you because you were safe. I was… I _am_ grieving and you helped me through so much emotional turmoil. So I mixed it up with love. But the truth is that we can’t be together. I died one of your deaths, Jack. That’s too much for a relationship to take.”

  “And it’s not what you want anyway,” Jack stated matter of factly, though it was an effort to keep his voice firm. “I can’t grow old with you.”

  Ianto hated it, but he felt ashamed to admit, “Yes.”

  “I understand that.”

  “We’ve danced a dance, Jack, and now the music has ended. Please, don’t make it harder on us than it already is.”

  “Fine. Have it your way,” Jack grunted.

  “You knew I would leave,” Ianto told him stubbornly.

  “Right. And I understand you. I really do. Godspeed, Ianto Jones. I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for.”

  Now the bitterness was clearly audible, and Ianto tried to stop Jack from leaving, “Jack, don’t…”

  “Don’t what?” Jack barked, pivoting back around. “Don’t walk away like that? Don’t be angry? Don’t hate me?” He shook his head. “No. I understand you, Ianto. That’s why I won’t stop you. You’re right saying that we’re not the same. You have no time to lose, because you only live once. You need to know what you want to do with your life and I won’t stand in your way.”

  Ianto was glad and yet felt horrible.

  “Do yourself a favour and don’t waste your talent just because you’re not with Torchwood anymore. And if you ever come back to Cardiff… you know where to find us.”

  _Us. Not me._

  A lump formed in Ianto’s throat.

  “You were wrong just with one thing, though, Ianto,” Jack said, stepping closer and getting in Ianto’s personal space. “I’m not safe.”

  With that he took hold of his head and kissed him harshly and feverishly. Feeling the demand, Ianto granted Jack access without even thinking about it. It was like Jack tried to swallow him whole and Ianto was ready to give in, losing just a little bit more control with every second that the kiss lasted.

  And then, out of the blue, all the heat and passion were gone, leaving Ianto with an emptiness that robbed him of his breath.

  Too stunned to react, it took Ianto way too long until he finally caught on to what happened, so all he could see of the captain was his dark figure in the billowing coat that melted with the darkness.

 

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, that’s the end. Well, of course I have an idea how it’s supposed to continue, but currently, I’m stuck with some creature-fighting in chapter nine. I hope to resolve it in order to continue writing.  
> I want to thank everyone for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. Huge thanks to my beta-reader for her constant support. Writing Doomsday was (is) a long hard ride for us as well.


End file.
